Inspy Romance

Inspy Romance—Fall in Love With a Good Book

10 Things I’ve Learned From A Decade of Writing Romance

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My debut novel Love Finds You in Sun Valley, Idaho, released in 2010. Since then I’ve learned a lot about writing and relationships.

1.) Let God romance you. I believe God gave me the sale of my first book before I’d earned or deserved it. He gave me a hardback edition, Costco book-signing, and a film option without me having to work for any of those things. He knew I was going to have to finish writing a romance as my own first marriage fell apart, and He wanted me to know that not everyone leaves. We love because He first loved us. -I John 4:19

2.) Forgive. Sometimes people do leave us. Sometimes they even hurt us on purpose. Sometimes they deserve to be punched in the face. But in the same way God gave me more than I deserved, I am free to want more for those who have done me wrong. They have their own backstory and character arc, as do we all. Mercy triumphs over judgement every time. -James 2:13

3.) Set boundaries. When offering mercy, we are inviting the other person into the light. We don’t join them in the dark just to be together. Heroes or heroines who do this give romance novels a bad rap. The story can teach codependency if authors don’t show healthy boundaries.  For that reason, I included the following line in Finding Love in Eureka, California: “She already has a savior, and it’s not you.” Each one should carry his own load. -Galatians 6:5

4.) Pain has a purpose. As authors, we are mean to our characters, but we have to be. In the beginning, they have a fear that holds them back from what they really want, so our job is to give them a bigger fear to help them overcome the smaller fear. For example, a character may be afraid of water, but if her baby falls in a swimming pool, her greater fear of losing her child will push her out of her comfort zone and give her the strength needed to overcome. This is also true in our own lives. God allows hard stuff for our greater good. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. -James 1:2-4

5.) Ask for help. Whether in my personal life or in my writing, if I try to go it alone, I get discouraged and stuck. God gave us each other for this reason. It makes me so thankful for my writing group and is also the whole premise for my book Presumed Dead: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. -Ecclesiastes 4:10

6.) Pursue your dreams. Any good character is going to have a goal at the beginning of the book that carries them to the end. There’s a driving force that keeps them moving forward. With God as the Author of Life, I believe He’s given us each a dream, and that our own life stories won’t be fulfilling if we don’t work toward it. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4

7.) Don’t give up. As with any goal, there will be obstacles and setbacks. There will be seasons of drought. There will be times when we fail. It will be hard. But if God gives us a dream, he prepares us to pursue them just like I prepare my characters. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9

8.) Don’t let feelings run your life. If I only wrote when I felt like it, I’d never get any books finished. If my characters only did what they felt like, there would be a lot more secret baby tropes. (My least favorite trope of all.) The heart is deceitful above all else. -Jeremiah 17:9

8.) Wait on the Lord. This might be the toughest one for me, especially when waiting for an editor to reject a manuscript or offer a sale.  I have to learn to trust. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. -Exodus 14:14

9.) Always hope. What sets romance novels apart from others is the requirement of a happy ending. No matter what happens, the reader knows the main characters have not struggled in vain. There is hope that love will conquer all. But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. -Isaiah 40:31

10.) Love like a hero. While I enjoy a good happily-ever-after, what makes us happy is loving others. True love is when we can give without expectation because all our expectations are fulfilled by God. This means putting others above ourselves, which brings me to one of my favorite quotes about writing. “The villain and the hero are both wounded. The villain hides their wound with evil while the hero finds healing through self-sacrifice.”  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. -John 15:13

I’ve kept writing romance for a decade because I believe love changes lives. May the truths you find in my fictional characters help make your heart strong.

Enter to win a download of all five books in my Resort to Love Series, by answering the following question: What have you learned about love by reading Christian romance novels? 

Angela Ruth Strong (54 Posts)

Angela Ruth Strong survived breast cancer, works as a flight attendant, and uses her own crazy life experiences as inspiration for the stories she writes. Her books have earned TOP PICK in Romantic Times, been nominated for a Christy, won the Cascade Award, and become Amazon bestsellers. She and her husband also got to play extras when her novel Finding Love in Big Sky was adapted for film. To help aspiring authors, Angela started IDAhope Writers where she lives in Idaho.


Comments

  1. That is a beautiful post, Angela, thank you. I have learned that I must forgive myself before I can move forward.

    Praying for you daily 🙏

  3. I think I’ve learned that Christian love stories are often a shadow of the greatest love story of all- the love of Christ for his Bride. Beautifully written. I loved reading this post.

  5. Lovely post. I’ve learned that a true hero rescues, goes after what he wants and gets it the right way, and that a true heroine doesn’t always need to be the one rescued.

  8. I learned that all is in God’s time and that He wants us to have the desires of our hearts. It is just that we aren’t always ready until He makes changes in us.

  9. Hi Angela, I love this post, your books, and I love you. What I’ve learned is that there’s always hope. We just have to wait on God and His timing. It also rang true your comment that we do need a savior, but not in our love interest.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  10. These are great and I love the verses that go with them. I think I’ve learned that God uses all sorts of people, not just the ones who seem the most righteous.

  11. Love this! One thing I’ve learned from Christian romance novels is that God loves us even when we don’t love ourselves. He’ll see us through any and all situations if we just let Him, and if we give Him control. In those times we take it in our hands, He will still guide us and direct us, and waits for us to turn back to Him.

  12. Beautiful post! I think the thing I’ve learned most about love from reading Christian fiction is that, love isn’t a shallow, physical relationship. It’s a deep, wanting the best done the other person, relationship. I think when you’re with the right person they should bring out the best in you, or make you want to be a better person.

  13. Angela, that’s a wonderful post and great reminder for us all.
    I only recently started reading this genre, but I’ve learned through my own experiences, to allow God’s healing, when my 1st marriage broke down. Forgiveness was key……and I can tell you, it works! My 2nd marriage was incredibly short, he got through my 150K and left me, he went back home to Canada 9 years ago….I never saw him again! I can tell you, that took a whole other level of forgiveness….God was giving me lessons and I was having to learn, in order to survive. We can do it and the happiness which He gives us, is far greater than the struggles, when we reach the other side of those ‘storms.’
    Thank you Angela, for sharing with us and for the opportunity to enter this draw.

  14. Wow. I can tell these lessons are hard-won. Thank you for sharing them with us. The best inspirational romances that I have read have taught me that hope is real and worth clinging to God for. It is so easy to be trite or shallow with these ideas. It is also easy to want to cut to the HEA. But that ending is more valuable, I think, when reached after the journey and its valleys. Now, in the moment, do I want to trade for a shorter valley? You betcha. Am I wise. Nope. I need God to strengthen me and give me guidance. But you already know that.

    BTW, I love, love, LOVE that black and white wedding photo of the two of you!

  15. I have learned there is always hope. I particularly like books with an older heroine who had never really been in love or in a relationship and who is comfortable in being single (not the ones where they are so desperate to be married), I like these books cos it gives hope to someone like me who is older and never really been in love. They may have had a few boyfriends but not really in love. (like been on a few dates but known the relationship wasn’t going anywhere). And then in a book they really fall in love. These books give hope that older singles (who have never married etc) can still find love.
    There are not a lot of books that focus on single never married. Most are widowed or single parents.
    I have read a few and felt hope it would happen to me one day. If it doesn’t that’s ok too but the fact the heroine was ok with being single made it more real.

  17. Great post! I think one message I’ve seen often in Christian romance novels is that once you stop trying “play God” in your own life, and learn to trust in Him, you will be ready for that “right person” when God sends him or her your way!

  19. I’ve learned that choosing to love someone is not always easy and that communication is very important.

  20. I absolutely love this post, Angela! From reading Christian romance I’ve learned how important communication is in relationships, and that happily ever after is only the beginning of the story, not the end!
    By the way, you and your hubby’s love story always inspires me and gives me hope for my own someday marriage!
    ((Hugs)) 💕

    No need to enter me in the giveaway, I already own this collection! 🙂

  22. Romance and love take work and effort. Sometimes the worst we can imagine leads to the best we ever dreamed.

  23. Love means you have to put in effort to make it work, take it to God in prayer, and learn to accept the hard times with the good.

  26. Thank you for organized thoughts about this. While I can think about scenes for all these 10 topics in a book, what I enjoy reading every time (and look for in a CCR) is the scene in which the characters have to let go of their own will and ask God to guide their path. It’s a good reminder every time I read that I have to do the same in my life.

  28. I really enjoyed your post today. I have learned to ask for forgiveness and to not be afraid to ask for help from family or friends. I have learned there is always hope. I just need to believe.

  29. This is a great list! I am thankful for stories that include the painful side because that is more real to life.

  30. I lost my oldest daughter Anna (23) 2 years ago. I have discovered that reading romance has helped me cope with grief. I’m not really sure why except that I don’t have a lot of emotional energy and romance gives hope and a happy ending.

  45. There SHOULD be more books like that. My children’s church teacher (from when I was a child) just announced her first wedding engagement. She was a big lady with a beautiful laugh, and I am SOOO happy for her.

    I honestly think all heroines need to be okay with being single. <3

  47. And if we’re not ready, if we haven’t stopped trying to play God, then we could easily commit to someone who will bring us more heartache than fulfillment, but even then God can redeem the messes that we’ve made.

  50. Thanks, Caitlyn. That’s a great way to put it. The happily ever after is just the beginning. <3 I'm so glad Jim and I can offer hope to others because there was a time when I really needed that hope myself.

  60. Oh, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine. Glad love stories can off you the hope of redemption that Christ has for all of us. I did the same thing after my first round of chemo (not that it compares to your pain). But I get the need for a sweet escape. <3

  61. I have learned that a lot of people are going through the same thing as others. No one is alone.

  62. Reading Christian romance showed me despite it being fiction. God is bigger than any weakness or fear. That He is the one that is the source of love.

  63. Angela, I have read your first romance, and also the ones published later. There is a difference in the depth of the story in the later books. It is still you, but with more meat and more strength. I love them all.
    Mary

  64. I have learned that we have different kinds of love but Gods love is unconditional.

  65. I have learned how important communication is. Often in books, the plot revolves around the lack of communication. It is a very important aspect and includes our communication with our Savior as well as each other. Thank you for the post.

  66. I have learned that you have to know your worth before you enter into a relationship. We make the mistake of looking for a man to fulfill our needs that only God can. You are setting yourselves up for a lot of pain if you do that to each other. Be filled with God First and then maybe a relationship.

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