Life has such interesting seasons, doesn’t it?
I’ve been contemplating lately the “seasons” of romance. My hubby and I are inching into a new season–and I’m totally welcoming it. My hubby just turned 40 this past weekend, and it’s a bit of a milestone that has made us look back at where we’ve come from.
I’m sure it is different for all couples.
But I taking a look back at OUR journey, and here’s some of the broad seasons I see:
NEW LOVE — You all know this season. It’s that time when you’re sweetly in love and trying to always look your best, be your best, and woo the one you love. (insert flowers and chocolates and gifts of various sizes depending on budget…)
HONEYMOON — That season when you don’t necessary feel like you have to look and be your best, but you’re still head over heels in ooey gooey love. You have pet names for each other that make those around you roll their eyes. You make out in public (Okay, maybe not everyone does that.) “I love you more.” “No, I love YOU more.” is a daily, sometimes hourly, part of your conversation.
SETTLING IN — You get into a groove romance-wise. Habits start to form. Making out in public is rare but still there sometimes. Your “Love you more”‘s are now more once a month than daily. Maybe you start thinking about adding kids? Romance is still fun but more in a routine way than a emotional-daily-high way.
WHAT’S ROMANCE AGAIN?!? — For ME, this was after kids started to arrive–mostly after kid #2 showed up. Romance is scheduled in because you know you need it, but there is really no time. It becomes WORK, a CHORE. I’m convinced this is where a lot of couples get tripped up. If romance is HARD, that must mean we aren’t in love, right? Because his stinky stocks on the floor are NOT ROMANTIC. Because if she really loved me, she’d make me nice dinners like she used to. Because if HE really loved me, he wouldn’t care about dinner and would understand just how crazy my day has been, right? Romance in this stage, for Scott and I, was hiding cheesecake and indulging together after the kids were in bed. It was hiding in a closet to sneak a passionate kiss. Romance was hard-fought for and not easy. But worth it. OH so worth it.
AH! ROMANCE! I REMEMBER THAT! –This is the stage we’re finally entering. The kids are starting to get older. Our oldest ones can babysit. We’re able to go on dates more often because of this, so it isn’t a production to make it happen. We’ve found the wonder of making out in the kitchen now, much to the loud “EWWS” and “GROSS” from our children. In fact, that makes it all the more fun!! We’re a little less sleep deprived, so we’re able to put more effort into romance, and it’s feeling less like a chore every day.
I know there are more seasons.
I can see the hard season of empty-nesters slowly approaching–although we still have a quite a few years until we are faced with that.
My hope and expectation is that we’ll face it just like we have the others. With determination to make it work.
Because romance isn’t just the ooey gooey feelings. It’s the hard work. It’s making time when there isn’t. It’s sacrificing sometimes. It’s making each other a priority when 100 other things are fighting for that place.
Someone asked me over the weekend if I was having a hard time with how much/fast my girls are growing up. My response, after a second, was that I was choosing to embrace the season we’re in and enjoy it.
I think we can do the same with our “season” of romance. Embrace it, with all the hardships, good and bad, that come with it.
Let’s Chat! Have you had seasons in your romantic life? Examples of that “hard work” season that so easily trips us up?
In other news, I wanted to let you know that Love at First Laugh, a 8 novella collection of romances, is available for PREORDER now for only 99 cents! It releases on March 6th and will be available to read free with kindle unlimited as well! These are 8 romances we hope will make you smile and see a few different “season” for romance along the way, from new love, to rekindled love, to love that has weathered the test of time.