Every morning for most of the last twenty-five
plus years, I have risen in the morning with my husband. Even during pregnancy and having tiny babies. As he readies for work, I prepare his lunch and make his breakfast. It seems a small act of love, but it’s just been something I’ve done.
In the last little bit, my health problems have made me more tired than usual. I wake up in the night with back pain and am unable to go back to sleep until it settles, usually an hour and a half to two hours later. Fatigue is also an issue. Some days just walking to the mailbox is tiring. So I haven’t been getting up with him. I’ve actually slept through his shaving, dressing, and moving around the room.
It’s humbling.
I WANT to get up with him. I like it. I like serving him in that way. But in this season… his act of love to me is to let me sleep.
What counts as an act of love? Anything done without expecting something in return (in my opinion).
Here are some things I’ve done because they please my husband (Keep in mind that during almost all of these years I have been a stay-at-home mom. Your list will look different if you work):
- dinner on the table at 5:30
- an uncluttered home (challenging with little ones, but doable)
- a clean floor (he hates getting dirt on his feet)
- clean counters (it only takes a minute to wipe it off before he comes home)
- not nagging (I hate doing it anyway)
- taking care of the “little things” that I am capable of doing even if I don’t particularly like them (screwing in the pot handles that loosen over time, emptying the mousetraps (ew), resetting the mousetraps, etc)
- doing laundry, including folding and putting it away
- helping with projects he needs help with (woodworking, changing accessories on the tractor, whatever)
What does he do for me?
- goes to work every day
- comes home every day in time for dinner (with a few exceptions because of projects at work)
- cares for car maintenance (oil changes, tires, etc)
- plants and cares for the garden, along with our many fruit trees
- recently he kept a secret — I was at the ACFW conference. My son was in a car accident. Since he was uninjured, my husband didn’t tell me because he knew it would ruin my weekend.
- shares about my books with his friends (who probably DON’T read romance LOL)
- and soooooo much more
In my latest novella, one man performed an act of love for his son. To learn more, check out my upcoming release: Learning from Experience, found in the Falling for You boxed set:
Lexi Ross loves the life she’s created for herself as an art gallery manager. She enjoys promoting the work of up-and-coming artists. When Nathan Vanderwahl, her boss and her late friend’s older brother, steps through the door of her gallery, his appearance resurrects feelings she’s buried so deep, she’s almost forgotten, and turns her world upside-down.
Because of his father’s death-bed request, Nathan shoves his reservations to the side and visits Lexi. When she asks him to leave her alone, he promises he will, if she’ll go see his father. Even if it breaks his heart to do it.
An old man and his will change everything for them. Can they learn from his experience or will they hold on to the hurts of the past and walk away from a promising future?
Available at Amazon.
So what do YOU do in your relationships (not just with your spouse) that would qualify as acts of love, be they small or large? Comment by midnight 9/16 for a chance to win an e-copy of Learning from Experience.
Blessings,
Ginger Solomon is a Christian, a wife, a mother to seven, and a writer—in that order (mostly). She writes or reads inspirational romance of any genre. Even when she’s busy homeschooling, doing laundry, or fixing dinner, reading or writing are not far from her mind. She is president of her local writing group, and blogs regularly for InspyRomance.com and at gingersolomon.com.
Saying thank you, for even the smallest things is so important in every relationship I have. I hope you’re feeling better soon, Ginger. I look forward to reading Lexi and Nathan’s story.
Yay, so excited to read this story (and Love’s Choice!!). Hmm, I clean the bathrooms, my husband empties the rubbish bins, I mow the lawn, he cleans the cars and empties the scrap bin into the compost. We share cooking dinners (we both work, so share the cooking), he grounds me and reminds me to see the big picture and keep my patience, and I remind him that we are not all perfect, not all logical scientific thinkers:) We have been married nearly 14 years, have two boys, and I thank God everyday for the man He gave me. Oh, my husband loves caving- I DO NOT, yet, I once spent 12 hours in Tuglow caves just because he loves it (they were pretty amazing caves actually, but don’t tell him!! ;)
I like your notion of calling acts of love the small (but meaningful) acts we do all the time for spouse, family, and friends. Yesterday I drop work to go see my sister who was finishing up a project and clashing with co workers on how to do it. Because it was my area of expertise (not theirs) I just went to her place for an hour to help her finish. I love my flexible work hours so I can do that but also meant I was working until 10pm last night. Since I moved a couple of blocks away from my sister, we’ve been doing more acts of love for each other than I can remember ever doing. In the past few weeks she just stopped by a couple of times mid afternoon (we both work odd hours) to vent and eat. Despite our different schedules we try to have a lunch date on Monday and Thursdays every week (we work in the same huge hospital), which means organizing our work around it. When I had a knee surgery, she’d drive me to (and often from) work every time I needed to go in (I had to adjust to her hours but that was fine). And the list goes on.
Thanks for your blog. Looking forward to reading all the inspiring selections in Falling For YOU!
As a reader, I am inspired by the ACT Of LOVE from so many talented and generous authors, who share their hard work for free or a small price of 99 cents. We appreciate all of you, as you juggle your personal lives and your writing passion. An ACT of LOVE is giving to others whether it is our spouse, our children or grandchildren, friends or colleagues.
What a great blog! I used to get up with my husband and make his breakfast and lunch until he started getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I still have his lunch ready and something he can heat up for breakfast. I LOVED your book Learning From Experience in the boxed set Falling For You. I will definitely read more of your books!
Appreciation is so vital to caring relationships. It’s hard though.
Thanks, Jill.
This sounds like a good way to do things, Wemble. Shared responsibility. I cut grass, too. But caves I would NOT do, not even for my husband. Makes me shiver just thinking about it.
This is wonderful, Priscila, and exactly what I mean. Those little things that we don’t always notice. What a blessed relationship you have with your sister. Makes me want one (I have two much older brothers).
Thanks, Renate. And you’re welcome.
Oh, I’m not sure if I’d get up at 3 or 4 either. Hubby gets up at the reasonable hour of 6:30. :) It’s great that you have things ready for him, though. That’s an act of love.
Thanks for reading Falling for You. I’m glad you enjoyed Learning from Experience.
My husband and I are both retired now and we do for each other more than ever. He even gave me a bell for Christmas that has “Ring for Coffee” on it. And it works!
Oh, that’s awesome, Gail What a great hubby.
I pick up my grandchildren from school every afternoon (to help my son and daughter in love as they work) but in reality it helps me because I get to spend time with grandchildren and I am blessed. For my wonderful husband I make sure he has a hot meal ready at the end of the day and breakfast on Saturday and Sunday (I am at work by the time he gets around to eating breakfast during the week).
Love this, Ginger. It really is the little things that keep love alive.
Awhile back my husband and I read the book, The Five Languages of Love by Garry Smally. We found out we have different love languages.
His is acts of service, so he’s always doing things around the house, trying to show me he loves me by doing things.
Mine is words of encouragement, and I’m always trying to tell him encouraging things.
When we went through the book we realized neither one of us were speaking love in the other person’s language. Once we learned that it’s been a bit easier.
We still have to make an effort not to use our own when we really want to let each other know of our love.
Ginger, thanks for sharing your husband’s and your acts of love with us today. I’m looking forward to figuring out what my future husband enjoys, once God brings him into my life.
I’ve become an encourager over the years, so one thing I do as an act of love is see the positive in people or situations and point them out to the folks around me, especially when they can’t see them. It offers a fresh perspective that I hope is appreciated.
Your new book sounds beautiful. It would be wonderful to win a copy as I blew my book budget on a recent vacation. Who knew gift shops had such wonderful titles just waiting for me to show up???
Blessings,
Andrea
andrearenee2004@yahoo.com
I’m sure your son and daughter in love appreciate that you pick up the kids. And it is a triple blessing–for your children, for you, and for your grandchildren. :)
Yes, it is. it’s what our country needs more of–SELFLESS acts of love.
That’s good, Marylin. You’re right. We have to speak the other person’s language. Mine is gifts. My husband’s is words of affirmation with acts of service being a close second. I highly recommend learning your love language.
Being an encourager is awesome, Andrea. I try, but it’s hard for me. Books are addicting, I know. And it’s so hard to pass them up. :)
thank you for a lovely post, Ginger. I’m so sorry to hear about your health problems. Sometimes we tend to think that to show love we have to do great and grand gestures, when really it’s the little things as you describe that speak the loudest. Blessings to you
I agree, Robin. The little things speak the loudest, whether they be acts of love or acts of selfishness. I pray we all choose love.
Ginger, I think you qualify for a cape! Go, super woman!
Unfortunately for my hubby, keeping the house under control is not one of my strengths, neither is cooking a variety of tasty meals. I’m also a full time homemaker so I just keep trying and slowly (14 years later) I’m making progress in those areas (now that our little army is older, more helpful, and less destructive).
I’m most likely to show love with words of encouragement and lots of hugs and kisses. Learning my husband’s love language was a huge positive step in our marriage!
No capes here. I fail often. I’m not an excellent cook–I hate it too much. We have the same rotation of meals, probably 10 or 15. I try new things…sometimes. Unless it takes 30 or less or can be put in an oven or crockpot, so I don’t have to babysit, then I don’t make it. :)
Any I didn’t have it all together. Ever. Especially when my army was little. Something had to give and it happened every day.
So no capes here, unless it’s ripped and torn and used for a rag to clean up some mess. :D
My husband gets up at 4:30, so I don’t get up with him. He does his best not to disturb me when he leaves the house.
It wasn’t easy for the pessimistic younger me to learn to become an encouraging glass-half-full grown-up me. Lots of honest prayers and hard work went into it. I never could have done it without my heavenly Father’s guidance and help.
That’s awesome, Andrea. Can I grow up to be like you? :D
And that’s his act of love, Merrillee. I’m sure you do many other things that can be considered acts of love.
Sure! I won’t mind. :)
mwhahaha
Ginger my list looks surprisingly almost like yours. I too, am a stay at home parent so I do the majority of housework while my husband is at work. Though, he is always quick to help clean up after dinner or do his work shirts if I can’t get to them. And other little things just because :-) I used to bake a whole lot when the kids were little, but since we’ve gotten older and don’t really need the sweets…I don’t do as much. That is my love language if you will, making something special I know he enjoys. I still do on occasion, just not as much.
There are many things we do for each other, sometimes crossing “lines” of her job/his job if you will! It takes two to make a household run smooth and get the extra stuff done. I love it when he surprises me after a long day just to have a dinner date without planning it first :-) So many other examples I could name!
Fun post, thanks for sharing!
:D You’re absolutely right, Trixi. It takes TWO to run a smooth household.