Was your proposal PERFECT?
You know.
Flowers, starlight, candles, down-on-one-knee perfect?
Straight-out-of-a-romance-novel perfect?
Well, mine wasn’t.
Are you confused? I was, too. You see, my then-boyfriend and I had been dating for over two years. He was getting ready to graduate in a month, and everything was up in the air. I was stressed out over a project that was due soon. It was a Sunday evening and he’d driven me back to my dorm. We sat talking in the parking lot and ended up in a fight.
That’s right. Sounds romantic, right? Because he proposed to end the fight.
Shocked?
I was, too. My next words were literally, “Are you kidding?”
In his defense, he had already ordered the ring and I just didn’t know it yet. And he knew I wasn’t thrilled to have lost a romantic opportunity in getting engaged, so he made up for it to a point.
Where we went to college, the girls have something called “A Candle-lighting” when they get engaged. What happens is this. They secretly send out invites to the Candle-lighting, usually after dark. All the guests sit in a big circle, giggling and whispering who they think it might be. Once everyone is in place, the lights are turned off and a lit candle is passed around with the engagement ring attached by a ribbon. Each girls gets to admire the jewelry and when it gets to the fiancée, she blows the candle out and everyone squeals. Then, she tells the whole romantic story.
Or the story, if you’re like me.
And he planned mine for me. Which was romantic, in my opinion. :-) And, by the way, the proposal worked anyway, because we’ve been married for almost seventeen years now.
Needless to say, when I write a proposal in my books, they aren’t always the perfectly planned event you might expect in a romance novel. I had one advance reader point out that the way my character first asks the girl to marry him wasn’t very romantic. And I laughed and pointed out that my proposal hadn’t been, either.
So, if you’re wanting a proposal that’s a bit … messier … than normal, feel free to check out either of my books, Faith and Hope or Saving Grace. In one, I even have someone fall off a swing in shock.
And for a few another story with a not-so-perfect proposal, check out Shannon Taylor Vannatter’s Reuniting with the Cowboy. There’s some fun with garbled words due to recovery from a brain aneurysm.
Today, let’s talk. What was your proposal like? I’d love to hear about some more that were less than perfect.
Ausjenny says
I am single never married so no story for me. From what mum said Dad didn’t ask. She said they went to his home city for a weekend which back then would probably been by train and would take around 8 – 10 hours. She said they walked past a jeweler and went in and got the ring. They started dating NYE and this was April and the fact they were going to meet Dad’s family basically meant that they knew they would be getting married. She said he never really asked they just knew and I think buying the ring just happened.
Mary Preston says
I was never actually proposed to. We just kind of knew.
Paula Marie says
Ah, mine was a real humdinger….he took me to a jewelry store and asked why I liked, then said *so we gonna do this thing or what?”
Yes, tons of thought went into that one….lol
Tabitha Bouldin says
My proposal came on a random Sunday. I was having a really bad day, and he whipped the ring out of his pocket (while I’m driving) and asked it that would make it better. 🤣
I knew the proposal was coming since he took me ring shopping, but the way he did it, that’s pretty much him in a heartbeat. He loves making my bad days better and always has a creative way to do it.
Amy Anguish says
That’s so interesting. To just know you’re getting married. That’s pretty much the way we were, too. The proposal just made it official. Our families weren’t surprised. :-)
Amy Anguish says
You’re the second one with that kind of story today. Now, you’ve got me wondering if this happens more frequently than we thought. :-)
Amy Anguish says
Oh, how funny! At least he asked what you liked. And it sounds like it worked, regardless. ;-)
Amy Anguish says
Aww. Sounds like our guys are somewhat the same. My guy did it to make our argument end, so sort of to make things better. :-)
Sarah Crouch says
I guess I’m the only one with a romantic story, haha. (Which is why I was so thrown off by the proposal in Faith and Hope!) I’ve realized since then that proposals come in all shapes and sizes.
My husband and I are really big planners, so we’d talked a lot about getting married. I knew the day was coming, just not so soon. My husband took me to see Wicked and eat BBQ in Memphis. When we went for a walk in the park after he did the whole speech, down on one knee, pretty ring, the whole nine yards. We didn’t have professional photographers like people do nowadays, but I think I’ll still remember it.
Valerie Comer says
We did a “proposal” episode on the StoryChats podcast a while ago in which I gave my non-story! We kind of grew into it, but then, neither of us are fanfare people. Thanks to covid wrecking our plans for our 40th anniversary last summer, we threw the kayaks in the truck and drove up to a mountain lake and spent the day paddling and having a picnic! #takeTHATcovid
Trudy says
I’ve never been married, but I have (sorta) been proposed to. I’ve definitely been propositioned, which I turned down! I was actually “told” by one guy that we were going to get married. Needless to say, we did NOT. That’s a sure fire way to turn me off!
Amy Anguish says
I’m sure you’re not the only one. :-) And I think that all sounds lovely.
Amy Anguish says
Oh, your anniversary celebration sounds lovely to me!
Amy Anguish says
Oh my goodness! No. I don’t think I would want to marry someone who told me that, either.
Natalya Lakhno says
LOL Amy, mine was similar, except the fight…but we’re together, we love God and serve Him together – that’s more important than “flowers, starlight, candles, down-on-one-knee perfect”, right? ;)
Amy Anguish says
You betcha!
Lincoln says
I did a lot of acting when I was in college including the role of Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha which, as it turns out, is very romantic but in an untraditional way. At the cast party, two friends came up to me and said, “Will you marry us?” LOL! I graciously declined :). I was way too immature and afraid at the time for even just one, anyway.
My wife and I dated for several years. We were in the group that just grew into knowing that we were going to get married (and, yes, friends looked at us and said “What took you so long?”). We went ring shopping together. The only surprise was when I actually gave her the ring. We, too, were sitting in my car. No fight. It was after church on a Wednesday evening. We went to the grocery store afterward to find her mom and show her the ring. No fanfare, just comfortable, companionable love. It’s only gotten better over the last 32 years.
Amy Anguish says
I love comfortable companionable love. It’s the best. :-)
Trixi says
Mine was more of a non-proposal. We already knew we would marry without even really saying it, so we started planning a simple wedding. We decided we wanted custom rings, so we went to the jewelry store to show them our designs. The day we picked them up, he asked me if I would marry him…right in front of the jeweler :-) Maybe not the most romantic, but perfect for us!
We celebrated 24 years April 5th and my husband is as romantic as ever. He still “gets” me after all these years!
Christina Sinisi says
My husband started to just ask when we were sitting on the couch in his apartment, without fanfare. I stopped him and said, no way. You’re going to do this right. A few months later, we went to the fanciest hotel in the nearest city and over a flaming dessert ( a tradition we’d set up from our first date), he proposed. He did sort of take away from the moment by asking, are you going to make me get down on my knees? I said no and he was relieved. I guess I’m a take-charge kind of gal and 35 years later, it’s a story. :)
Amy Anguish says
That does make an interesting story! Thanks for sharing.
Amy Anguish says
So sweet! I love the idea of custom rings.
Carol Underhill says
He took me to a jewelry store and looked at rings and got my size. Then the night before Thanksgiving, he came into my parents’ house where I was living at the time, still dressed in his work clothes, (Flannel shirt and jeans–he was a logger), knelt on the floor in front of my chair and—I don’t remember what words he used to propose, but I know that I said yes.
Amy Anguish says
Aww. That sounds so sweet.
Debra J Pruss says
We were walking on a boardwalk down by the river. My husband bent down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He did not have the ring yet, but he asked first. We picked out the ring together.
Amy Anguish says
On a boardwalk by a river sounds romantic! Great story.
denise says
Ours was pretty casual. He just said “Marry me” after a concert.
Amy Perrault says
My husband proposed to me in our living room when I was 8 months pregnant & we ended up getting married on that same day 2 years later. He went on one knee & asked me but we already had my promise ring & planned to get married just not sure the date at the time. It was very special though & we had a small outside wedding.
Ausjenny says
The night they bought the ring they were having an evening meal with Dad family and while at the table his sister saw the ring and said “What’s that?” So they all found out at the table. I think it was love at first sight but dad was scared to ask her out incase she said know. On NYE the Church Young adults use to go to a lake close to the town and one man asked who was taking mum home and she said “Jack is” looked at him and said “thats right isn’t it” That was the start of it and by easter they were engaged and the following Easter they married.
Amy Anguish says
Casual is sometimes better than fancy.
Amy Anguish says
I love the idea of outdoor weddings. :-)
Meredith Resce says
He didn’t really propose. We were driving along and he said, ‘so when should we get married ‘. 38 years later …
Amy Anguish says
How funny! Whatever works, right?