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Bittersweet: Oxymoronism at its Best

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Bittersweet.

It’s one of those newfangled compound words.

Ha. Okay. Compound words have been around since Biblical times, so I guess they can’t be that newfangled. ^_^

It’s also an oxymoron. Bitter and sweet. Those two words don’t seem like they should go together, right? When I bite into something bitter, my taste buds shudder in revulsion. When I bite into something sweet, though, my taste buds do a happy dance. (I like salty, too, but that’s a post for another day.)

Real life is full of oxymorons, isn’t it?

Real life is full of oxymorons, isn’t it? #reallife #oxymoron

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In life, we learn that the same thing that brings us sadness can also make us happy. My son is starting his senior year of high school. While I’m excited for him and the future God has for him, I’m also sad that he’s going to be leaving the nest and that he won’t be a part of my daily life anymore once that happens. My daughter, as many of you know, passed away when she was in the third grade. I am forever grateful – and joyful – that she is safely in the presence of her Savior. That doesn’t stop me from missing her, though. She would be starting her freshman year in high school if she were still with us.

See? Bitter and sweet, all rolled into one. (I’m not bitter about either of these things, but you get the idea.)

Those same oxymorons follow us into our Christian walk. We all make our decisions based on what we know. When we are new believers, 95% of what we know is of the world, and 5% is of God. (I’m guestimating – go with it.) As we grow in our faith and in our relationship with Christ, the percentage of what we know shifts from the world to God. We don’t necessarily know less of the world – but we do (or ought to) know more of God. That change in our understanding alters the balance of our heart and soul – and our decisions. For example, when we are first saved and someone tells us that life with Christ is a life of blessing, we often interpret that in terms of tangible or monetary blessings – because that’s what we know/understand. As we grow in our faith, though, that’s no longer the case. The Christian life of blessing is a life where God blesses us with (among other things) peace, joy, and an ever-changing heart – but He does that in the midst of our trials, worldly battles, and heartaches. Those particular blessings are intricately woven together with our challenges.

Again – bitter and sweet all smushed together like a S’more.

How does this play out in Christian romance?

I can’t speak for every author out there, but I can tell you about my experience. As a writer, I strive for transparency. It starts with admitting that I am a flawed person. I make my share of mistakes, and I am about a kazillion trillion miles away from being perfect.

From there, I move on to thinking about the lessons I want my characters to learn. Is it courage? Or faith? Or learning how to trust people? Or maybe learning how to trust God?

Then I create situations that can move my characters along their journeys, and I allow them to take steps backward as they follow that path. After all, none of us flawed people gets it right the first time, and some of us even jog in place for a spell.

Ultimately, when my characters reach the goal I have set for them – some type of spiritual growth or enlightenment – they do so with a realistic view of themselves and life. They don’t have the Pollyanna attitude that all will be hunky-dory from that point forward. They know life can be hard. They know some days will be painful. And they know that God is bigger than all of it. Their troubles don’t go away. They’re just given a new perspective in light of the cross.

Sometimes in life – and in fiction – we have to swallow a bitter pill. When we know where our hope and strength comes from, though, we get to wash that pill down with a cup-runneth-over kind of sweet drink.

Blessings to you as you walk the line between bitter and sweet! May God daily grow you and change your heart and perception so that you see more of Him – more of the sweet – with every passing week.

 

Heather Gray (145 Posts)

Heather Gray loves coffee, God, her family, and laughter – not necessarily in that order! She writes approachable characters who, through the highs and lows of life, find a way to love God, embrace each day, and laugh out loud right along with her. And, yeah, her books almost always have someone who's a coffee addict. Some things just can't be helped. Despite their different lives and situations, Heather’s characters have something in common. They're all flawed...but loved anyway.


Comments

  1. Hi Heather, thanks for a beautiful, thought provoking post. I love your thought- that God blesses us with peace, joy and an every changing heart, so true and timely! That peace that passes all understanding…what a promise!
    Blessings:)

  2. Hi Heather! As school begins in Michigan life is bittersweet. As a retiree, I miss being in the classroom on thee first day of school (bitter). The sweet part is caring for my granddaughters ages 4 & 8 months old. Growing in God’s grace is a daily struggle. Thanks for a thought probing blog! Best wishes!

  5. wow this is a really great post. You are right, many days I feel like I am walking between bitter and sweet. Never thought of it that way, but it sure makes sence

  6. What a great post Heather! Your title says it all! You have hit the nail on the head with the bitter and sweet, I’ve been talking to another believer about just this very thing. Your words say it so succinctly and so well. Thank you, I’m going to bookmark this.
    My sympathies on the loss of your daughter.

  7. What a great post ! Yes I am sorry you lost your daughter , but hey , she’s walking with the angels now !!! ❤️❤️.Life in general in bitter sweet, we all have to take one day at a time ,

  8. Thank you for your post! Life is indeed bittersweet and I think we can always choose into each one we will be looking: the bitter or the sweet, or both together. And I like the idea that when life is too bitter, God gives us His sweetness so we can keep going.

  11. Thank you! You know, that bittersweet thing is always attached to our children if we are mothers, I think. This will be the 1st year I don’t have a high school aged child to homeschool in many years! My Ben is done, dusted, and working construction. He’s moving out next month with a buddy and my guts are twisted up even though I’ve been through a child growing up and leaving my nest twice already. It doesn’t get easier I’m sad to say. Bittersweet because I’m proud of him and happy to see him becoming a man I am proud of, and his room becomes my writing office. However I can’t get excited about that because, he won’t be here to have tea with in the evenings, or coffee and Bible in the mornings.
    I’ll only have one child at home. Bittersweet because less children means less laundry, less cooking, less dirty dishes and more time for writing, reading…but he’s 7 and lots of work, and will be like an only child. Yikes!

  12. Thank you for sharing such a deep reflection about life. I couldn’t agree more that life is both bitter and sweet at the same time.

  14. If we’re not growing, we’re stagnating, right? And if you’ve ever spent any time around stagnant water, you know that’s not a pleasant thought! :-)

  15. God is good – all the time. But that doesn’t mean that life is always good. After all, Jesus tells us that in this life we will have trouble…but that we can take heart because He has overcome the world. Right there, in that one promise, is a perfect example of the bittersweet nature of life. As believers, though, we know without a doubt that the sweet far outweighs the rest! :-)

  16. The Peace of God…what a wonderful gift! I misplace mine every now and then, but whenever I realize I’ve lost it, all I have to do is ask, and God is right there ready to refresh my supply. What a gracious God we serve!

  17. Beautifully described and bittersweet indeed! I love that word, as it has helped me describe some things (and books) from time to time, but I also loved your thoughts on it. Thank you for giving us peak into your writing world. God bless! and wishing you all the best from this side of the world ;)

  21. No matter how challenging life gets – no matter what it throws at us – we can always rest in the loving arms of our Savior. We can always find hope in Him. Thank goodness for the sweet! Otherwise life would be…well, bittersweet – but without the sweet. ;)

  23. One day at a time – and trusting Him each day to give us what we need to make it through. And scripture supports that when it tells us not to borrow tomorrow’s troubles, not to worry about things yet to come when we have enough to deal with in the here and now. :-)

  24. You’re so right – we can choose to focus on the bitter OR on the sweet. Sometimes it’s an easy choice, and sometimes it’s not. I like to think that the closer I’ve grown to God, the easier it is to see the good in different situations, to understand just how much the sweet outweighs the bitter when we’re living our lives in the shadow of the cross.

  27. Oh dear! You are going through a major change in your life, aren’t you? My homeschooled son is a high school senior this year, and facing those impending changes can sink a stone in my stomach if I let it. My pastor stopped me a few Sundays ago to say, “You have a pensive look on your face. Is everything okay?” All those emotions that come with having a child on the verge of adulthood bubbled to the surface because that’s exactly what I had been thinking about in that moment when he commented on my expression. But all I could think to tell him was, “I’m choosing to trust God.” And that’s the way it goes, right? Each day is a new opportunity to leave our worries at God’s feet and to trust that He has it covered. Some days we grab onto that opportunity with both fists, and some days we kind of push it around the floor with the toe of our shoe as we think about whether or not we really want to pick it up. If we miss the opportunity one day, though, it’s always there for us the next day. Because that’s just how good and gracious God is. Hugs to you as you move through this time of transition in your life!!

  33. Thanks, Heather! Your posts are always so uplifting! It always helps me to know that God isn’t surprised by the “bitter” and that He is using it somehow to work good in me or for me. Even IF He doesn’t seem to doing anything.

  40. There’s a lot of bittersweet things in life, aren’t there? That’s why I’ll always treasure the things that matter in life. Change comes and goes, but God remains the same and brings me through every situation :-)

  42. You hit the nail on the head! We may not always *feel* like God is at work in a given situation, but we can KNOW it – and the knowing is so much more important! That’s what we trust, that’s where we put our faith – not in our feelings but in the nature, character, and promises of God. Those are the anchors worth holding onto. Our feelings…not quite anchors, are they? ;)

  43. Thank you for the inspiring, thought provoking post. I appreciate it, and really enjoyed it. :)

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