**Guests: leave a comment for today’s post, and you’ll be eligible to win a signed paperback copy of any one of my books–reader’s choice!**
I’ll admit it. I love thinking about, talking about and writing the hero in my books more than the heroine. If that’s a “sin” for a Christian romance writer, then so be it, and I (quite unashamedly, mind you) plead g-u-i-l-t-y. I’m also an incurable romantic. Yes, I’m spilling secrets yet again. Now, some of you may want to remind me of the cliché, “It takes two to tango.” Well, of course! Without our heroine, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun…for the hero, and those of us writing or reading about him. :)
Other authors have said it’s a much more difficult task to make the heroine likable to female readers than the hero. I agree. Women often tend to criticize and nit-pick other women to death, both in reality and in fiction. Why? Well, that’s an entirely different topic for another day. But a guy? If he’s halfway attractive, has a decent personality, shows a little muscle, has an infectious grin, can form articulate sentences and doesn’t possess too many fatal flaws, then we’re right there cheering him on in his quest to get the girl!
The one-on-one interactions between the hero and his heroine are my hands-down favorite parts of a novel. The dialogue, spunk and spark, sweet moments, longing glances…even the fiery moments where they clash or share “words.” You get the picture. Not that the discussions and interactions with parents, siblings, friends, pastors/mentors, co-workers, pets, etc. aren’t also important, but–when you think about it–those conversations are more often than not centered on the budding romance. The old, he-loves-me/he-loves-me-not scenario.
But, when the hero and heroine are “on screen” together? Ah, yes, those are my absolute favorite passages in a book. Sigh worthy. They are…simply irresistible. Those moments are what motivate me to keep going, both as a reader and a writer. If I’m invested in their lives and their growing relationship, I need them to find their HEA and I’m right there with them for the ride!
Why do I gravitate more to the hero? This is my theory: like some of my characters, I’m an “armchair psychologist” or at least I “play” one in my books. In a way, it’s similar to actors digging into the “meat” of the characters they portray onscreen. I suspect I’m like a majority of women in that I’m absolutely fascinated by how men think. How they’re wired. Why they do what they do. What motivates them, drives them, and ultimately, what touches their hearts. That, my friends, is at the core of a romance. Personally, I also like my heroes a little grumpy on occasion. They can’t be perfect, after all.
Call me weird, but I absolutely love writing from the male point-of-view. Prefer it, actually. Words I hope I never hear about one of my books? “Hey, you wrote that guy like a girl!” Meaning the reader can tell it’s obviously a woman attempting to write from a man’s perspective. I cringe sometimes when I see a review (or read a book) where the hero thinks, acts or—heaven forbid—sounds like a woman in what he says—and the way he says it (oh, how I do love those deep, masculine voices).
One of the most gratifying (and yet oddest) compliments I ever received was from a strong woman of faith who said, “You know I don’t believe in reincarnation, JoAnn, but if I did, I’d say you were a man in a past life. You nailed it with Marc.” She’s referring to my novel, Second Time Around, which is written mostly (about 90%) from the male perspective. In Marc’s case, he’s appealing to female readers because of his strong passion to win back his wife in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds. I ask you, what woman wouldn’t love that? That desire, and his faith journey, is the crux of the book.
In a pivotal moment (where he’s literally sitting alone in the woods, completely miserable), Marc has an epiphany: in order to get Natalie back, he has to be willing to give her up. He needs to let go of the reins and allow God to take over since He’s so much more capable. You must understand Marc is a self-made man. He’s risen above circumstances from his past and forged a successful career as the owner of a thriving sports advertising agency in Boston. But he can also be prideful, pig-headed, judgmental and critical. And yes, grumpy. His desire to win back Natalie isn’t a competition or to prove anything to anyone else; it’s his life. Of course, when he finds out she’s expecting their first child, that knowledge fuels his goal all the more. Let the wooing begin!
Think about a favorite romantic book or movie. Focus on the hero. Now think about something he does that makes you positively swoon. You know, that “ahh” or “aww” moment where the guy does something selfless for the girl. Not so much because he’s trying to impress her but because he absolutely adores her. Wants to please her and see her smile. Subtle ways can often be so much more effective, wouldn’t you agree?
Digging deeper, it’s often those small things (e.g., a thoughtful gesture straight from his heart) rather than the wide sweeping gesture (proposing with others standing around them, clapping and cheering them on) that capture the heroine’s heart, and ours. Not that this latter technique isn’t a great thing if used effectively. Perhaps it’s something for which he had to sacrifice. Something he can’t easily surrender, offer or give. Something he’d only give to her because she’s captured his heart.
If you’ll indulge me once more, Jake in Meet Me Under the Mistletoe tells Julia to get back in the car where it’s warm instead of standing outside in the freezing cold night. At the time, she’s trying to encourage him. This scene sets the pace and lays the foundation for a caring friendship before anything else can develop between them. Without being overly romantic, it is romantic. See what I mean?
One way my husband, Jim, is my hero is that he brings me a steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee every morning, and it’s doctored the way he knows I like it. Being romantic, even if he’s resistant, is a large part of why we love our hero, but it isn’t everything. So, your turn. What does it take for a guy to be a real hero in your eyes? Let’s count the ways. I’ll start… Loves kids, respects his elders, is compassionate, has a solid or growing faith, exhibits a great sense of humor, strong work ethic…
Please feel free to chime in! I’d love to hear examples from real life, books or movies. Time to share your comments, friends!
Until His Nets Are Full,
~JoAnn
Photo used with permission from Fotolio
Cover design of Second Time Around by Dino Piccinini
Shirley Blanchard says
I think i might have them all , hope not as i cant waiut to read another of JoAnns great books
Shirley B jcisformje@aol.com
joeym11 says
I love JoAnn’s books. Funny how we tend to see a hero. Guess we don’t think of some wimpy guy as a hero. But I think he could be. Think my hero would be my husband. He cares for me and looks out for me.
Blessings
Diana
joeym11@frontier.com
Elizabeth Dent says
I don’t think I have read any of your books ,but they do sound good.My husband would be my hero , when I had cancer and heart surgery he was right there with me. Thanks and blessings,
lizd225(at)gmail(dot)com
purplemeri65 says
My hero was my Dad. He was strong in his faith and his honesty. He was a hard worker and worked his way up in the company he worked with few complaints. He loved my mother and admired her abilities so much. I wanted to find someone like him but they are few and hard to find. So I love it when I find one in a book I am reading. I really am drawn to the strong silent type because they do have more depth than one sees at first. I also like a man that is firm in his faith and his walk with God. I know now how important that is. I wish I had realized that when I was young. My sons learned a lot from my Dad about what a man is and I am so proud to see how caring they are with their wives.
brightflute says
Joann, what a perfect post for today. Why? Because today is my 13th wedding anniversary. Simple things, like holding a door open for me, asking me if I need anything, when he gets up from the table to get something he needs, walking to the mailbox for me, when it’s nasty weather outside…those are only a few of the things I think are everyday actions, that are very romantic. I think romance can be found in any of the little, simple acts of kindness men do for the women in their lives. My Dad was great about this with my Mom. I loved watching them, and didn’t get married until I found a guy who got it right.
Bythe way, I think Marc was my favorite of your heros. I really liked that book, also.
Robin Bline says
My hero would be a God-fearing, God-loving man. Someone that would do all they can to win back someone they love and lost. Also a gentleman and someone that loves kids. Someone that loves his family. Is kind to all people whether rich or poor. Someone that talks to you and tells you all his hopes and dreams and wants to know yours.
JoAnn Durgin says
Hi Shirley! Yes, I believe you’ve read all my published books to-date. I’m working hard on bringing you more. I should have three more by the end of the year (two novellas and Moonbeams, Book #5 in The Lewis Legacy Series. Thanks for your encouragement. It means the world to me! Blessings.
Debbie S. says
I agree with all the ladies here in their descriptions of a true hero, husband, man, etc. I find that while I do enjoy reading romance books many times the author has fashioned a very stereotypical leading man whom most of us do not have in real life nor, if truth be told, even want. JoAnn’s leading men I have found are a much closer match to our ideal. They are strong, protective & handsome as most leading men usually are, but they are also tough yet vulnerable, they make mistakes but also have the decency to admit and correct them. They are God-fearing and giving of themselves completely to the Lord – admiting their inadequacies, and this conversely makes them strong leaders of their homes. They admit they have to go to the Lord for answers and direction. That is the endearing quality that makes them real men in my mind. I like that JoAnn’s leading men are BOTH the storybook image we think of in the “Calgon take me away aspect,” as well as what we really want at home when dreamy bathtime is over.
JoAnn Durgin says
My comments are (apparently) not appearing directly beneath the comment of the person who posted it So, if you’ll forgive me, I’ll just answer here. Thank you all for your wonderful comments! Diana, I knew you’d say your husband is your hero, and that’s as it should be, my friend. Hi, Elizabeth, and I hope you have a clean bill of health now, and it sounds like you have one of the best friends ever in your sweet hubby! I hope you have the opportunity to read one of my books soon. Purplemeri65, I love that your dad is your hero, and yes, what a terrific example for your sons! Brightflute, Happy Anniversary! That’s awesome! I agree about those subtle “little things” our men do that really aren’t so little after all, are they? They mean so much. I’m glad you enjoyed Marc and Natalie’s story, especially since it was written mostly in his POV. That’s an extra special compliment! Thanks! Robin, so nice to “see” you here. I’m thankful you’ve found our InspyRomance blog and that we’ve reconnected! I love your answers here, and have to agree with every one of your sentiments. And I think you might like one or more of my books, based on these answers. {Smile} Thanks again, ladies! Many blessings.
Faye says
My heroes are men like my father. who do what they have to in order to support their families even when they don’t want to.
Robin Bline says
Hi JoAnn,
I just started reading Awakening and love it so far. Yes I would love to read more of your books. They seem to be my kind of story. Love it!
JoAnn Durgin says
Now that I’m home, I’m going to see if my comments show up beneath YOUR posts, ladies. Robin, thanks so much. I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to write and let me know. Hope you’re enjoying the warmer weather. :)
JoAnn Durgin says
Ah, Debbie. What can I say? Thanks so much for your wonderful comments (and not just because you love my heroes, although that’s an added side benefit)! I appreciate your friendship and I’m so thankful you enjoy my books, and especially that you can “see” my heroes for whom I intend them to be…men who try to be godly examples, sometimes with more success than others. I never want my heroes to be stereotypes, but men you feel like you KNOW. :) And that goes for my heroines, too, of course. Thanks so much for stopping by the blog today! Blessings.
JoAnn Durgin says
Hi Faye, and thanks for stopping by the blog! I love to hear you “say” that your father is your hero. That’s the way it should be, in my estimation. :) Blessings.
Sarah Venable says
JoAnn, I loved your post about heros…
My heros are men like my father, too. I grew up in a Christian home with a father who was not only a pastor, but a strong, godly man at home. He set a great example for my siblings and me of what it means to serve the Lord, to spend time with Him, and to put Him first in all things. After the Lord, family is my dad’s top priority. My dad is warm and caring and makes a point of checking in with me, making sure that I am doing well and that everything is okay. He is quick to drop whatever he is doing if I need him, and I know that I can always pick up the phone and call whether he is busy or not. He is truly a man of character.
Jen says
Thanks for a chance to win one of your books. I’ve never read any but they sound interesting!
Jen
JoAnn Durgin says
Sarah, thanks for dropping by. Your dad sounds like an AWESOME man indeed. What a role model for a godly man. My husband was a pastor for many years, and I trust our children can say the same wonderful things about him. Truly, you are BLESSED to have a dad who puts the Lord first in all things and then his family is his next top priority. I’ve got tears in my eyes as I’m typing this… Thank you for sharing these truly beautiful sentiments. Blessings.
JoAnn Durgin says
P.S. Our oldest daughter is also named…Sarah. :) Blessings!
JoAnn Durgin says
Hi, Jen, and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! I hope you DO get the opportunity to read one of my books. I think you might find a hero or two in them. :)
Alyssa Faith says
Oh, finally a chance to read a JoAnna Durgin novel. My hero would be strong, have a sense of humor, God-fearing, caring, passionate, honest, and of course being handsome wouldn’t hurt. These are absolutely the makings of good man and a good husband.
Andrea Cox says
JoAnn, the thing that makes a man a hero to me is is he holds his woman while she cries. Not many men can properly handle a woman’s tears. It takes guts to just sit there and hold her and know that’s the only thing they can do to make it better.
Blessings,
Andrea
JoAnn Durgin says
All excellent responses, Alyssa! I’m so glad you came by and left your comments. Thanks and I agree with every one of them! Blessings to you.
JoAnn Durgin says
Hi Andrea, and I was hoping you’d stop by today! As always, beautifully stated, my friend. And such a great point. Many men do feel very awkward and don’t know how to respond to a crying woman. For a lot of guys, it’s something outside the realm of their understanding and experience. I honestly believe a man’s emotional makeup, so to speak, comes from his mother’s influence in his life. I certainly hope you’ve written a scene like this into one of YOUR books, my friend. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. Blessings!
Andrea Cox says
Aww, JoAnn… aren’t you so sweet? You know, a scene like that might fit nicely in the story I’m brainstorming right now… I’ll have to give that some thought. If not this one, I’m sure it’ll pop up sometime or other. :)
Blessings,
Andrea
Shirley Blanchard says
my heros i think are my children, they do for me ,provide, loveme, respect me, are the same toward others love God walk with him, pray for me, , and i would sure love to win this book thanks
Shirley B