Right? But sometimes evidence points to the opposite.
Sometimes we just keep falling back into our firmly established grooves. We can see areas where we need to grow or change, but UGH! Do we really have to?
This isn’t going to be a self-help column. I can hear the collective sigh from here!
What I’ve got is a character who’s been an important secondary character in three previous novels. She’s spouted a lot of “people can’t change” over the course of those stories. She’s a believer, so she also admits that God could change them, but that He doesn’t usually interfere at that deep a level.
This negative pattern is firmly established in Sage Mulligan’s mind. She used it to cast doubt in her friend and roommate Lyssa’s mind in Topaz Treasure. She used it to caution Dakota’s returning trust of Travis in Give Me Another Chance, Cowboy. And she used it to cause trouble between Dale and Trinity in Ruby Radiance.
She’s not a horrible person. She realized the problems she was causing. She apologized. But the fact is, she herself didn’t change her attitude with the flip of a switch.
When it came time to write Sapphire Sentiments, I was face-to-face with Sage’s issues, particularly (but not limited to) her back-story with the hero, Caleb. They’d been high-school sweethearts. Something happened (I had to figure out what). They went their separate ways, but now both are back in Jewel Lake. They are pretty good at avoiding each other… until the opening pages of Sapphire Sentiments.
Writing this story challenged me to dig deep into my beliefs and understandings of that age-old tension between free will and God’s sovereignty. I’m not going to tell you I solved the dilemma and put the answers on the page, but I did toss them to my characters to wrestle with!
About Sapphire Sentiments
Sage Mulligan might believe in God, but she has a hard time believing that He actually changes people. Especially those like her high-school flame, who abandoned her without a backward glance after the disaster that destroyed her future.
Caleb Grant’s full-ride scholarship lifted him above his wrong-side-of-the-tracks upbringing. Now he’s back in Jewel Lake with a successful online business, but his former girlfriend won’t even speak to him until they’re pushed together in the Pot of Gold Treasure Hunt to woo potential investors to the small town they both love.
What will it take for Sage to realize the man of God Caleb has become is the perfect one for her… and that she might be the one who needs to change?
Sapphire Sentiments releases tomorrow, July 13. It’s the third title in my new Pot of Gold Geocaching Romance series, after Topaz Treasure and Ruby Radiance (part of the Love’s Treasure multi-author collection).
I’ve read a few stories lately with similar over-arching themes and tropes. A high-school romance gone awry, turning the couple into enemies before they learn to forgive and move forward.
Have you read an enemies-to-lovers story lately that you loved? Did the couple have a back-story to overcome, or did they meet in Chapter One and hate each other for “new” reasons?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this trope!
Dianne says
What a dilemma! Seems to me that most often pain is the impetus for people to change via “fixing themselves or others”, funny how that rarely works. For me true change comes from faith and being able to stand in who we choose to be, simply because we choose it.
Milla Holt says
Great article! Enemies to love is a difficult trope to pull off, but when it works it makes for an amazing story. I really enjoyed Tara Grace Ericson’s book Lavendar and Lace. It had a couple who got off on the wrong foot in person, without realising that they were forging a strong bond as online “penpals.”
And, of course, Pride and Prejudice is the ultimate enemies to love romance.
Valerie Comer says
Isn’t it interesting that avoiding deeper pain can be a stronger impetus than choosing joy and light! But that holds true with healthy choices, too. If we contract a life-threatening illness, suddenly we have tons of motivation to eat more healthfully and to move our bodies! Otherwise, it’s just something on our “should” list we can put off until next week or next decade.
Valerie Comer says
Yes, Lavender and Lace dealt with that trope well! Thanks for the reminder I have the most recent book on my Kindle. I need to roll that to the top of the TBR!
Alicia Haney says
I think change comes only if people really want to change, it has to come from the heart, but I believe people can change. I think Enemies to lovers trope is a pretty hard one, and right there the main thing is Trust. I do like the trope. Have a great week and stay safe. I loved your post.
Natalya Lakhno says
The stories that I’ve read about enemies-to-lovers usually had a back-story to overcome…
Valerie Comer says
Change from the heart! Definitely :)
Valerie Comer says
They do tend to, don’t they! I wonder why…
Lelia (Lucy) Reynolds says
I believe people can change if they want to for themselves and with God’s help.
Jcp says
I cant remember any that I have read that have this troupe.
Valerie Comer says
I agree, those are two key points!
Valerie Comer says
Time to start watching for it! Or you could start with Sapphire Sentiments :)
Margaret Bunce says
I’m thinking that for someone to be your enemy, there’d have to be a back story. Most Christians don’t automatically class a newcomer as an enemy, do they….? I am looking forward to Sage’s story. Glad you worked out the back story!! Lol.
Lincoln says
This discussion reminds me of the old Henry Ford quote:
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
Which, I suppose, is just another way of expressing Proverbs 23:7a
“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he;”
(which is grossly out of context but still applicable)
The verse that has seemed most to the point on this is Romans 12:2a
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind”
When we line our thoughts up with God’s view, we are connected with the power of God to change. Can we change in our own strength? Certainly not in my experience. Can a kite fly while sitting on the ground? No. It takes the power of the wind to keep it aloft.
I don’t think it is whimsical or foolish to say that God’s Spirit within the believer is the power which can change us. It is the choice we make to love Him that connects us to that power. Could God change us on His own? Sure. But that denies the nature of the First Corinthians 13 kind of love. In His sovereignty, He gives us life and calls us to respond. In this new life, we show our love by choosing to love Him through obedience and creativity. That choice brings us closer to His heart.
All because He loved us first. (1 John 4:19)
Valerie Comer says
That’s an interesting point. I can think of scenarios that would pit people on opposing sides from their first meeting, though. Hmm…
Valerie Comer says
Thanks for those insights, Lincoln. Well said.
Debra J Pruss says
I am not sure that I have read a story with enemy’s in the story line. I have not been reading a lot this year. Thank you for sharing. Happy book birthday. God bless you.
Valerie Comer says
Thanks, Debra. I hope you find your reading mojo soon!
Trixi says
Enemies-to-lovers isn’t my favorite troupe, but I have read some well written ones. Like everyone said, there’s a lot for the couple to overcome and an author can throw all kinds of things in the mix.
And I do think people can change, especially with God’s help. I know I’m not the same person I was years ago. When I allow God to work on my heart & attitudes, I become more like Him. I love stories of redemption and character growth!
Valerie Comer says
Ah, redemption! Therein is the key, right?
Ausjenny says
Haven’t read the trope recently. I has a lot of potential if done right. I can also think of situations it wouldn’t work. Like a former bully who traumatised his or her victim but has moved on and doesn’t realise the pain they caused. To me that sort of story would be very unrealistic and would take a lot to make it plausible where as other situations would be easy to understand.
On the negative thought process it can be changed but it does take a lot. Often with people who are often negative there is an underlining reason and they have to be willing to accept this and change. (Having someone telling them what they need to do doesn’t work they may ask but they don’t really want to change. they have to come to the decision on their own).
Mary Preston says
I haven’t read any enemies-to-lovers stories lately. A trope I do enjoy.
Valerie Comer says
You’re right. The situations must be built with care to be plausible. :)
Valerie Comer says
Well, there’s a new one releasing in just a few hours! ;)
denise says
It’s a favorite trope.
Valerie Comer says
Any favorite stories to recommend?
Amy Perrault says
I find if the person wants to they can change. I love enemies to lovers especially when there is a story to why they are such big enemies at first.
Sylvain P says
Enemies to Lovers are great stories.
Valerie Comer says
Yes, that back story is key to be believable!
Valerie Comer says
They sure can be!