In just two days, on May 5th, my hubby David and I will be celebrating 18 years of marriage. What?! Yup, you heard that right. 18 years of wedded bliss. (cough cough!) Let me phrase that again—18 years of mostly wedded bliss. :)
I’m sure anyone who has been married for even a short period of time can attest that marriage is hard. Our first couple of years as husband and wife were without a doubt the hardest times we went through. We had to adjust to each other’s habits and quirks, figure out how to communicate effectively, and learn to trust, love and forgive. Five years into our marriage, we had our son, then two years later, our daughter. Along the way, we experienced the miscarriage of one of our twins and also the death of an immediate family member. In the years since, we have faced the challenges of balancing work life and family life and all the stresses that both bring. It’s honestly a testament to God’s grace that we are still married and (mostly) blissful together all these years later!
You can also bet that 18 years of marriage have given me a lot of inspiration for my books. While all my stories are fictional, I have included many real-life situations or lessons learned from my own marriage into them. Here are a few examples …
As an introvert who was not used to sharing when I first got married, I had to learn to make time for David and to be present with him when I did. In Tropical Kiss or Miss, Olivia and Matt also learned to make their relationship a priority.
I married my polar opposite and have needed to accept and embrace him, dirty socks on the floor and all! ;) In Taking a Chance on the Enemy, Sam and Lucas fought to get along, despite their completely different personalities.
These are just two examples of how my own marriage has influenced the stories I write. I’m thankful that I have a never-ending supply of ideas to draw from. But most of all, I’m so very grateful for a wonderfully supportive, patient and caring husband to share all these life lessons with and to grow old with. (By the way, in case you were wondering, the photo above is of me and David at a friend’s wedding about 2 years into our marriage when neither of us had gray hair yet. Lol.)
Just for fun: If you were to write a romance, what real-life situation or lesson would you include in your story? I can’t wait to read your answers!
Giveaway: I’d like to give away an ebook from my backlist (winner’s choice; multi-author boxed sets excluded). Two winners will be randomly chosen from the comments below. This giveaway will remain open until midnight on Sunday, May 5th.
Elizabeth Maddrey says
Happy anniversary!
Wemble says
Hi Liwen, congratulations:) My husband and I will be 17 years in December:) LOL, dirty socks on the floor- totally get that! I walk into our ensuite most evenings to odd articles of clothing that “didn’t quite make it into the laundry basket!!” I cannot think of anything that I would put into a story- it’s been a busy week and my brain is going into Friday night mode i.e. sleep time!!
Blessings:)
Hallee says
Happy anniversary!
Susan Bates says
On my first day at a new college, I was mailing a letter to my pen-pal boyfriend and I asked one of the students on the campus for directions to the mailbox. The long-distance relationship eventually failed and that student and I eventually got together. We have been married almost 35 years now!
Renate says
Hi Liwen! Blessings on your anniversary! What real-life situation or lesson would you include in your story? My parents, who were married 59 years before my mom passed – talked about the 7 year itch. Often life comes crashing in around that time in a marriage, because of children, jobs, stress, home ownership, and the honeymoon is over. LOVE is a CHOICE – to love the person through thick and thin, good times and the bad, nobody’s perfect. Enjoy your day and weekend. Best wishes.
Lelia (Lucy) Reynolds says
Happy and Blessed Anniversary!
Kelley Blair says
8 years is wonderful, Happy Anniversary.
Kelley Blair says
18
MJSH says
Congrats on 18 years! We just celebrated our 18th in March. If I were to write romance, I’d write about unrequited crush, broken dating relationships that ultimately lead to THE one.
Kimberly Rose Johnson says
Happy Anniversary!
As far as real life incidents, I’m not sure. I generally don’t include real life things in my stories. Rather, I use real life to inspire me and fictionalize . For example I’ve included restaurants I’ve been to in my stories, or I’ve taken one of my own fears and given it to a character.
Lori R says
Congratulations to you both on your anniversary!
Nicole Santana says
Congratulations on your Wedding Anniversary!
I think it is really cool how you have taken aspects of married life and used them in your novels. I like when authors take from real life. It makes the novels more real!
Trudy says
Happy Anniversary!! If I were to write a book, I’d write about having a stronger faith after overcoming adversity. It could be a relationship, a physical problem, but overcoming with a strong faith.
Lori Smanski says
Welcome Liwen. Happy Anniversary. you touched on some good ones in your two books above. We have been married 35 years and it seems like we have covered everything in those years, but it still keeps coming at us, and we keep learning to work together all over again. Don’t get me wrong, we do enjoy all the changes that come our way. We learn to see each other again in different lights. I am a quilter/sewer and other crafts and my husband has always been a huge supporter of that. He sings in church and plays guitar, and I try to be a huge supporter of those also. We are both introverts and it is so easy to not communicate things. We have learned little signals to help with this. Is it always easy? NO NOT AT ALL. But so worth it.
Margaret Nelson says
Happy anniversary! I remember when Jim and I were first married, we had a disagreement over how to do a project together. After talking it over, we both switched positions, so still disagreed :-) After I got done crying about it (all those emotions those early days!), it was something to laugh about.
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Elizabeth! :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi Wemble! Happy almost 17 years to you! :) Haha, yes, it’s funny how socks always get “lost” on their way to the basket. I hope you get some rest this weekend. Thanks for commenting!
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Hallee! :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Oh wow, I love that story, Susan! :) Happy almost 35 years to you! Thanks for commenting. :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi Renate! Thank you! I agree that the 7 year itch is a real thing and that love is totally a choice we make every day. Thanks so much for commenting!
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you so much, Lucy! :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Kelley! :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi MJSH! Thank you and happy 18 years to you, too! :) Oh my, that would be such a good storyline of hope after disappointment. Thanks so much for commenting.
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thanks, Kimberly! Fictionalizing real things from life works, too. :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Lori! :)
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Nicole! Oh yes, I think real life inspiration is the best. Thanks for commenting!
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi Trudy! Thank you. :) That sounds like a wonderful idea and would make the story relatable and realistic. Thanks for commenting!
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi Lori! Thank you. :) Happy 35 years to you! I love how honest you are. Thank you for sharing!
Liwen Y. Ho says
Hi Margaret! Thank you! :) Oh my, yes, the early years were full of tears. So glad you got to laugh about it afterwards! Thanks for commenting!
Merrillee Whren says
Happy anniversary! You are right. Marriage gives an author a lot of fodder for stories.
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Merrillee! :)
Gina Johnson says
Happy Anniversary. Our 35th is coming up. I guess something to put in a story is that our husband’s can’t read our minds or even take hints. We have to spell it out for him or we may end up with a mop instead of a bracelet on our birthday.
Liwen Y. Ho says
Thank you, Gina! Happy 35 years to you. :) Haha, I’m afraid to ask, but is the mop story from real life? ;) Thanks for commenting!
Laurie Larsen says
I love the idea of romance novelists recognizing the challenges that every married couple goes through. It ain’t easy! Men and women are so different by nature, inherently a marriage won’t be all kisses and smiles. Love, commitment and common goals make it worth working through the less than perfect times.