One of the “Big” birthdays is about to happen in my life. Though it doesn’t feel nearly as big as it did when I was in my twenties. Amazing how the number 40 loses its ability to scare a person the closer she draws to it.
But it does have me thinking.
Even though I am no longer in my twenties, my characters, for the most part, are. And if they’re not, they’re barely in their thirties. Honestly, I expected to start writing characters a bit older as I aged, but the last few story ideas I’ve had all star characters even younger than I started out writing. Destination: Romance has three girls fresh out of college. And while I was married a month after graduation, I know it’s not the trend anymore.
In fact, in the United States, the average age for a girl to marry is 27, and the average age for a guy is 29. How far we’ve come from when my grandmother was married at 17 way back in 1947. ;)
I’m not saying I won’t write older characters in the future. I have enjoyed several series recently with “older” characters, some not even starting a romance until forty. But, I also want to point out I am not alone with my characters stuck in their twenties.
I polled several of the InspyRomance authors on the average ages of their characters. Almost every single one who answered said her characters were late-20s to early-30s. Right around the norm for the average marriage age. Although several agreed with me that even though a lot of people don’t think a marriage will last if it starts early, it can. We’re living proof. I was married at 21 and have lasted over 18 years and still going strong.
So, what’s my point?
I guess I’ve just been thinking about age a lot lately, with this “big” milestone age coming up in a few weeks. When I married fresh out of college, I had no idea what might happen down the road. I just knew I really liked the guy who had been dating me and thought spending our life together sounded like a great idea. And it has been.
Would we have been the same kind of couple if we’d waited to marry in our later twenties or even our thirties or forties? Probably not. For every year a person lives, she (or he) adds experiences and life skills and maybe even some tragedy. Things that can change who we are as people.
And as I write, whether my characters are right out of college, still expecting life to be all roses and butterflies (ha!), or later in their thirties or forties, there can be a great romance no matter what. Because romance isn’t limited by age. Though I may stick to the ages I’ve been writing a while longer for nostalgia’s sake if nothing else.
I’m sending a $5 Amazon gift card to one person who leaves a comment below. What do you prefer? Do you like stories to stick closer to the national average of when people are starting their marriages? Do you care what age a character is? Or do you like to go back and remember the innocence of being a young 20-something who is madly in love?
Ausjenny says
My mum married in 1947 at the age of 27 almost 28 and dad was 37. I am an older never married or never really had a real boyfriend but I don’t mind the age as long as they are not the almost 30 thinking life is over cos they are still single heroine. Back in my 20’s being a Christian if you were still single at 30 life was over. Most people got married early 20’s. I have people ask why I wasn’t married or maybe your standards are too high. I thought if that means morals then so be it. I was not settling for the first drunk or foreign cricket fan who wanted a wife to move to Australia then I was fine being single. I am not saying I didn’t want to marry and I did struggle for a bit.
I do like to read mature characters who find love for the first time later in life and its not unrealistic. I also like stories in there 20’s. I love the stories where age isn’t a huge deal like the actual age is approximate but not really mentioned. like you know they are late 20’s but its not a big deal.
Jeannette says
I enjoy books about romance at any age, and it doesn’t determine whether I read a book or not. I dothink many of the younger generation miss out by waiting until they are older, because as you say, their life experiences taint the innocence that was mine when I married at 21.
Lori R says
It doesn’t matter to me what age the characters are if I can relate to them in some way. I enjoy stories where the characters are in their 20’s and I enjoy second chance stories where they are in their 40’s.
Amy Anguish says
Yes! Nowhere does it say life is over if not married by a certain age! I went to a Christian University, which a lot of people consider a bit of a marriage market. There’s a huge expectation that you’re going to at least be engaged by the time you graduate. But I have friends from there who never married. And some who married someone they met later. I just happened to find the guy perfect for me when I was there. ;) Thanks for commenting.
Amy Anguish says
Interesting point! And I definitely agree that I enjoy all ages.
Amy Anguish says
Agreed! And we can always relate to ages we’ve already lived. ;)
Melynda says
The age of the character doesn’t matter to me as long as they aren’t immature. That can be true of a 30 something just as it can be true of a 20 something though. I do enjoy the trend of having heroines in their 40s now that I’m in my 40s, but the stories do have a different feel than with a younger couple and I enjoy reading both.
Trudy says
My parents didn’t marry until they were 30. Daddy had been married before, to Mom’s friend, but she passed away. I like reading about older couples, especially since I’m older. I don’t mind reading about younger ones, though I will admit I like reading about ones in their late 20’s and older vs anyone younger. I don’t read books with the characters in their teens, as I totally can’t relate. There’s too much stuff for younger ones to have to go through before they’re really mature enough to handle all that life will throw at them, unless they have a really hard life, or have really painful things happen in their lives, which can happen, but really isn’t the “norm” in real life.
Jcp says
I don’t mind reading about characters in their twenties or even in their forties although Incant read characters in their teens either. I prefer characters who are done with college though.
Amy R Anguish says
Agreed. Immature characters get on my nerves. And every age should feel at least a little different. I kept thinking I was still a twenty-something for a long time after hitting the thirties … until I hung out with a twenty-something. :)
Amy R Anguish says
Teens are definitely hard.
My parents were older twenties when they married and Mom had me when she was thirty. So I definitely see that as possibilities for future stories, too. ;)
Amy R Anguish says
College is such a time of transition and growth. I changed so much during college, becoming more who I am today. But I can see why you would rather wait until after the characters are done with all that. ;)
Beth Westcott says
In our mobile society with so many more educational and career opportunities for women, I think teen marriages are not a good idea. Everyone needs time to mature and become. However, except for that, I don’t think the age matters as much as maturity and commitment. I enjoy romances for any age as long as the characters “act their age.”
Lori Smanski says
welcome today and thanks for your thoughts. I personally love to read about characters who are older and either find love again/or for the first time and those who are married and renew their marriages and what they go through to renew their marriages. My parents were married at 18 and 19 Dad was 18. They wanted to marry when dad was 17 but the state of CA wouldn’t allow it. they were married for 50 yrs plus. two years later mom died of cancer. three years after that dad died from cancer. My in-laws both had their 5o years. My mother in law is still alive at 89 and she still wears her ring and remembers and talks about her husband. My husband and I married at 23 and 26. We are going on our 40th year. God is good and faithful when He is the center of a marriage
Lilly says
I like that there are characters of all ages…as a single 25 year old girl I like to see heroines finding their HEA now but I also like to see women over 50 finding it, it makes me feel like it’s okay to get married late and not It’s no problem if I haven’t found the right guy yet, he could come later! my grandmother is 70 years old and had bad experiences with men, she is happy alone but one of her widowed friends still hopes to find love again and that’s great!
Nancy Leigh DeMoss He married at 54 if I’m not mistaken after all. I started following her since I became a Christian and I really liked her story.
Amy Anguish says
Acting their age is always a good thing.
Amy Anguish says
Yes! With God at the center of the relationship, it doesn’t matter what age it starts. :)
Amy Anguish says
That’s so fun! I have seen some older couples marry after being married a long time and losing their spouse. Makes me happy they don’t have to do life alone. And yes. Marrying after 25 is more and more popular and maybe even smarter. Ha! Looking back, I was such a baby when we started.
Priscila Perales says
Funny you should mention marriage age since I’ve had many friends who have gotten married around the ages of 20-22. Maybe it’s a Southern thing? Lol. I think I usually read about characters in their 20s or 30s, but I’ve also read about characters in their 40s or 50s (though they have been fewer since either I haven’t found that many, or I can’t relate to that age group -though if the author’s done their job right, it can be just as enjoyable as a story with characters in their 20s-. Maybe that’s also why I’m not so sure about stories with characters in their 60s or up).
Amy Anguish says
I feel like there aren’t that many with people older than 40s. Autumn MacArthur has a few and they’re really good.
Megan says
It doesn’t really matter that much to me what age the characters in stories are, though as I get older it is nice to see some books with older aged characters. I think having characters in their twenties or thirties is nice though because we all have that kind of angst of the unknown in our life.
SARAH TAYLOR says
I Love reading so I don’t mind what age group it is If it is in paperback I will read it! Have a great day!
Elizabeth Litton says
I kinda like reading about older characters because they usually tend to be a little more mature. :D
Amy Anguish says
Yes, the twenties and even some of the thirties had lots of angst for me. Maybe that’s why I am glad to leave them. :)
Amy Anguish says
Hooray for readers who love all ages! :)
Amy Anguish says
True. Although I think we’re all young at heart, no matter the age, when it comes to romance. ;)
Priscila Perales says
Yes, I think the Chapel Cove series she first started with Marion Ueckermann and Alexa Verde was created with characters over 40 in mind. Speaking of, I think Alexa Verde’s Cowboy Crossing Romances Series also features characters in their 40s. And, of course, Liwen Ho’s The Fab Forties rom-com series is really great. :)
Amy Anguish says
Agreed. I just read Liwen Ho’s first one in that series and enjoyed it. :)
Alicia Haney says
I like to read books about romance of people falling in love at different ages , I like reading about younger couples , middle age and different ages . The age doesn’t matter.
Ausjenny says
I have been to Christians singles camps where people went to find a mate so to speak. they had people from all over Australia. My idea for going was to meet like minded people who understood being single. I didn’t realise so many went to find someone. There was a counselor there and I was sitting near the door to the dorms but upstairs he had an office. and a few said are you waiting to see him. I said no which surprised them. I said I am ok with being single. but so many weren’t. But I did notice we had a special dinner and then river cruise and many had paired up. It was nice to dress up etc but for many it was to find someone. Ironically it was run by married couples who work in a singles ministry.
Amy Anguish says
I do, too!
Amy Anguish says
That’s really interesting. I think there’s so much pressure put on people to find someone. Like they’re less than if they don’t. But I have several friends still rocking the single status, too.
Natalya Lakhno says
One of the “Big” birthdays is about to happen in my life too – I can’t believe it!
I got married young (I think so lol) so it’s easier to relate to couples married in their early 20s.
Debra Pruss says
For me, it would depend on the rest of the story line. If the story line was talking about someone with teenagers, then the characters could not be in their 20’s or early 30’s. I do not even pay attention to their age when reading the story as long as the characters fit into the storyline. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Amy Anguish says
Glad to know I am not the only one. ;)
Amy Anguish says
Yes! People in their 20s definitely shouldn’t have teenagers! 🤣
Bonnie Heringer says
I enjoy reading about people of all ages. It’s exciting for young characters meeting their soul mates and experiencing life. It’s nice reading about older couples, 40s, 50s, 60s, finding romance when they think it’s not possible and overcoming obstacles. Thank you.
Mary Preston says
I don’t mind what age the characters are. Each age brings different experiences.
Amy Anguish says
Yes. Definitely sweetness in finding that special someone no matter the age.
Amy Anguish says
Agreed.
bn100 says
no preference
Angeline says
I honestly don’t usually mind the age as long as I am interested in the story. I usually like to cap at 40s though, however I have read books where they are older because I like the storyline.
Geozla says
To me the age is not important. It’s more relevant that the author draws my attention throught the whole story. Lately I’m into rom-coms. I would like to read a story over 60. Any recommendations?
RuthieH says
This is a really interesting question. I turned 40 myself last year! I married at 30, I didn’t meet my husband until my late 20s but my mum married at 21. I wonder how things will turn out for my girls.
I don’t have a problem reading romances about younger than me characters – I think it’s easier in a way, as they can more believably come to a relationship and fall in love for the first time, can plan a life and family together – but romance certainly shouldn’t stop as you get older, so I’d be open to reading stories with older characters too.
Jessica B. says
The character’s age is not super important to me. I do find that the majority of characters in the books I pick up are in their late 20’s – early 30’s, which seems to get younger as I get older, lol.
Amy Anguish says
Thanks for commenting
Amy Anguish says
I can understand this completely. Thanks for commenting.
Amy Anguish says
Yes! Autumn MacArthur has a couple of romances with older characters. Try Least Expected or Adore Me. All her books are super sweet!
Amy Anguish says
Great points! And yes! I am curious to see what ages my kids marry, too. :)
Amy Anguish says
20s feel super young to me! But that’s what my characters keep showing up as. What can you do? 😂
Kendra Muonio says
I don’t really care about the age when characters fall in love . my mom got married at 18 , my brother at 20 or 21, my younger brother at 19and my sister at 24. I’m 24 and never have had a boyfriend and am still single .
Amy Anguish says
Love can happen at any age!
Laura says
I’ve never really thought about this before but I have noticed that a lot of the characters in books are younger. I guess it doesn’t really matter to me what their age is. I just love story in general so I would read books with characters at any age.
Amy Anguish says
Agreed. I love story, too! 😍
Sabrina Templin says
I like a variety of agess] to read about, even those ages I haven’t hit yet. IT’s about romance not their age or anything else. :)
Amy R Anguish says
Great answer!
Martha says
It doesn’t matter to me what age the story characters are. While older characters are usually written to show their experience and knowledge I often get the feeling that the story is slower and that the climax is less pronounced and the conclusion is not as exciting.
Amy R Anguish says
That’s an interesting take on it. I don’t think I’d noticed, but now I want to go read some more and see if it’s true. :-)