As a writer of contemporary western romances, I’ve been thrown off a horse a time or two—literally and figuratively. Rider error, in the case of real horses. In life, these are more of a complete surprise, and not always the good kind. The pitch head-first over the neck of your mount and smack hard into the ground kind.
We recently had a scare, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the cut-two-eye-holes-in-a-sheet kind. My husband Joe had a double-stroke six weeks ago. Like most strokes, it came out of nowhere. He was fine, and then he wasn’t. We spent two weeks in the ICU and he spent another two as an inpatient in a rehabilitation hospital. Now we’ve “graduated” to four hours of physical and occupational therapy per week, weaved in to a number of other doctor appointments. I have to drive him everywhere, and learn what it means to be a full-time caregiver. But this is what romance sometimes looks like in real life. Forever faithful, for better and for worse.
I’m so grateful that we have a ton of prayer support. The Lord has been so gracious. For the first weeks Joe made strides in leaps and bounds, moving from a wheelchair to a walker. But his progress has slowed now to where we don’t necessarily see daily improvement. His left foot drags and he has trouble using his left hand at all. Simply put, he’s disabled.
We fell from our horses. Pitched right over the neck and landed hard. The question now is, how do we get back on? Because now more than ever we have to be determined to do just that. Life looks different for us. Joe is at home. I’ve had to learn to carve out niches for writing time when before I was writing full time, and yet we depend on my writing income more than ever.
I have up days and down days. I’m still distracted by all the changes. It’s difficult to put into words even to write this blog.
But I’m putting my foot in the stirrup and swinging back up on that saddle.
I have a new release, Mistletoe Daddy, coming out on the shelves November 20th and online December 1st. I am excited to share it with you in next month’s blog.
I think we’ve all experienced life-changing events. I hope you’ll share your story and how it affected your life in the comments. I appreciate your prayers and my prayers are with you all. Happy Halloween!
Jill Weatherholt says
Praying for you and your family, Deb. I’m happy to know you’re climbing back into the saddle.
My biggest life-changing moment thus far has been my mother’s diagnosis of dementia. Each day is a struggle knowing we’ll never see any improvement, in fact, just the opposite.
On a happier note, congratulations on your latest release. That baby is just the cutest thing!
Wemble says
Continued prayers to you both, for patience, wisdom and grace from God. You are so correct, this is what real romance looks like. I believe God gives us strength to face challenges (not taking them away or making them easier).
Our oldest son is our life changer, dealing with him and how his brain works means each day can be a challenge. And yet, I have life sooo easy compared to many that I cannot sit around and whinge!
Stay strong as you walk the path ahead.
Renate says
Debra, may God’s grace sustain you and His strength empower you. For 7 years I cared for my father, his second stroke, while working full time. Physical therapy is key to the recover process. Progress is often slow, but my prayer is that your husband will not give up. There are better days to come. Takes time, lots of time.
Best wishes as you adjust to all the changes. I understand how heart wrenching it is to write this blog. You sound like a strong woman and God will guide you through it. Your blog brought forth lots of old memories. My dad’s first stroke was in 1997, six weeks after a devastating house fire and the week school started. I was a full time teacher and had three boys living at home (ages 19, 16, and 7). My motto: one day at a time, sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. When overwhelmed take a deep breath, count to ten, another deep breath. My dad’s strokes are in addition to two by pass surgeries, 7 stents, and 35 radiation treatments for skin cancer. Thinking of you. Understand the struggles. Best wishes.
Looking forward to reading Mistletoe Daddy. The cover is adorable. Best wishes.
Diana says
Lord bless you ! My husband had a stroke five years ago. It was four days before we had to move our daughter into her first year of college. Thankfully my son flew home to help and spent a week with us. My husband was discharged and came with us and watched us move her in. He felt bad he couldn’t help but we were glad he was just there. He has completely recovered now, thankfully. Lord give you grace for your many appointments and chores and writing.
Your new cover is adorable. Congratulations on your new release.
Sally Shupe says
Praying for you and your family. What a picture of love you present taking take of your husband. Thank you for sharing your story. Love the cover of your upcoming book!
Valerie Comer says
Prayers continue for you and Joe. May God’s peace and strength and blessing be strong in your lives.
JoAnn Durgin says
Been praying for you and Joe, Deb, and following your updates. New challenges to be sure, but I know you’re up for them. The Lord will sustain, as He always does. Stay strong, focused, and I’ll also be praying for your writing. Congratulations on the new release. Sending you lots of hugs.
Winnie Thomas says
Prayers to you and your family. May the Lord bless you and keep you in his arms at this difficult time. Congratulations on your new release. It looks wonderful!
Cassandra says
Prayers for you, your husband and your family. Recently I too got thrown off the horse of life, honestly it feels like I was riding the horse on the top of a mountain and was thrown not only off the horse but down the mountain. I still have a long way to climb to get back on that horse, but God willing I will get there eventually.
Merrillee Whren says
Deb, praying for you and Joe. Several years ago, we took my mother-in-law in to live with us because her health prohibited her from living alone. She was not happy about not being on her own anymore, but we told her it was the nursing home or us. She did not want to go to the nursing home, and we didn’t blame her. So like you, I had to drive her everywhere she went. It was hard to find time to write during that time, so I completely understand trying to grab writing time whenever you can find it.
faithdp24 says
After being married slightly less than six years, my husband suffered a major heart attack. For the next almost thirty years, he remained a heart patient. Life was never the same again, but God was ever faithful. We had many answered prayers and experienced His intervention over and over. We grew in the Lord because we had to or else lose ground! :) I can assure you that God is always faithful just as He promises in Hebrews 13:5-6. May God be gracious to you and Joe. Keep looking to Jesus Deb.
Beth Erin says
My father-in-law had a stroke late this summer as well. We’re still struggling to find the best solution for him.
Praying for you and your husband as you begin this new chapter.
leemcclain1234 says
Distraction and worry are so hard for a writer, and caregiving is not all butterflies and roses. But you’re right: that’s what romance can look like in real life. May God bless you and Joe in this challenging time, and use it to plant more poignant and heartwarming stories in your creative imagination.
Trixi says
Deb, I’ve been keeping up with your husband’s condition on Facebook. I’m glad there’s been some forward motion and healing. Been keeping both you and him in my many prayers! Sometimes life is one-step forward, two-steps back isn’t it? May God give you peace, comfort, strength for each day and may you ever feel His love & presence! You’ll be riding that horse again soon I pray :-)