I love it when people ask me how I write as a stay-at-home mom to four kids. Especially since we homeschool.
Usually, I laugh and say “I don’t know”, because some days that’s the absolute truth. I don’t know how I do it, I just do. I guess when you really want to do something you find a way. So here’s what a typical day looks like for me. This is when I’m actually writing a book, because the truth is I’m not always in the writing phase. Sometimes I’m just brainstorming, other days I’m editing, and there’s lots of time that I’m between projects and not writing at all. But on days where I really need to get words in, this is how it goes.
Morning: My kids have always been early risers. I have never been a morning person. This has taken a lot of adjustment and figuring out, but ultimately I decided that I had to get up. So I could either get up before them and have a tiny bit of time to myself, or I could drag myself out of bed when they come in my room and feel behind and frustrated the rest of the day. Guess which one I chose?
My alarm goes off at 5:30 every morning. Then I turn it off and sleep for fifteen to twenty more minutes. Ha! Usually, I’m up and going by 6:00, and by “up and going” I mean I throw on my robe and drag myself down the stairs to fix my coffee.
The goal for the morning is to drink the coffee, do my Bible and prayer time, and get in SOME amount of words. It doesn’t really matter how many. Ideally, I would like this to be 1000 words, but it usually ends up being more like 500-700. That’s ok! For me, this works really well, because it tells my brain “Hey this is what we’re doing today. This is where we are in the story and you need to think about what’s coming next.”
So that’s why I do. My kids come out of their rooms and I’m giving them instructions like “get dressed, make your bed, put away your laundry,” while I get myself ready for the day. But my brain? It’s still thinking about my characters in the background.
Now it’s time to focus on my kids. We have breakfast, do some morning chores, and generally get ready for the day. If it’s during the school year we will settle in on the couch and I take turns helping each kid with their work. I don’t do any writing during this time.
Mid-Morning: Once our “Work” is done (housework and school) it’s playtime! Sometimes we’re outside, sometimes we meet friends somewhere or go run errands. If the kids are playing well and I can supervise, I will grab my phone and write. Yep, that’s right. All those beautiful images in my head of sitting in a quiet room, typing away on a computer, that rarely happens. BUT I can get a lot of words written on my phone while my kids play. Yes, they will interrupt or need my help, or want to show me something, but that’s totally fine. I’m happy to be in the midst of it with them and get a little work done too.
After lunch, we typically have nap time or quiet time (more quiet time than naps since most of my kids don’t regularly nap anymore…cue the tears.). I don’t always write during this time. I know, I wish I did. I wish I could just turn it on like clockwork and get the words down. But to be honest, by now I’m tired, and sometimes I haven’t eaten lunch or started a load of laundry. Sometimes I just need to sit in the quiet and not have to think. So sometimes I do that. But if I’m up against a deadline, or feeling really productive I sit down and write. The biggest tool I use is a timer. If I don’t feel like writing, but I know I need to, I will set a timer for 12 minutes and write. If that’s all I do, I’m still moving forward. If I get in two to three 12 minute sprints in the afternoon, I’m very happy. 
The rest of the day is playing, getting diner ready, cleaning up from the day, and hanging out with my husband after the kids are in bed.
I only write at night if I really have to. If I have a word count goal and I haven’t reached it yet, I will tell my husband I need thirty minutes or an hour and I set my timer for 12 minutes and get started. My typical goal for a day is 2000 words, so even if I’m starting with zero, I can usually get that done in an hour. At night I REALLY like to be done so I can sit on the couch and watch a show (sometimes with a snack, and sometimes with a pile of laundry.).
So the answer to the question, how do I write as a stay-at-home mom is this: I just do. I don’t have large chunks of time where I sit down to write. I take little pieces of time and do what I can. Over the course of the days and weeks, those little pieces add up.
It’s funny, after I graduated from college, I was single, living with my parents, and actually took some time to try to make a living as a writer – a combination of freelance writing, blogging, and working on my fiction projects. Can you guess how many books I wrote during that time when I had hours during the day? ZERO.
Yes, I totally regret that, but the point is, I didn’t need hours of time at my disposal, I needed to decide I was going to do it and just do the work.
Being a writer AND a mom is my dream job. They won’t be little forever, and I know spending time with my kids is important. I don’t have it all figured out and I don’t do it perfectly, but I do what works for me and my family in this season.
I’m thankful every day that I’m here with my tiny humans, and I’m thrilled that The Lord gives me the time and ability to write stories too.
Hannah Jo Abbott is a wife, a mom of four, a homeschool teacher, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. She loves writing stories about life, love, and the grace of God. She finds inspiration and encouragement from reading the stories others share. Hannah lives with her husband and children in Sweet Home Alabama.
Ha ha, as a homeschooling mother of four young children who is also an author, I can SO relate! You’re so right about this season with them being so short and precious. Keep doing what you’re doing!
Great post! Though mine are teeneagers, I can relate to finding those small chunks of time for writing while still spending time with them and taking care of family business. My oldest waked up and talks nonstop for about 30 minutes. It’s always entertaining to hear what he has on his mind that early.
As a reader, when I was working outside the house, before becoming Mom’s caregiver, I had to get up early to go to work, but I’d get up just a bit earlier so I had time to do my Bible reading, and so I had a little bit of time to read before heading out for the day!! For a while, I worked and went to college. I even managed to work full time and take four college classes one semester! I look back now and wonder how on earth I did it!! We do what we have to do, and want to do, for sure!
I can totally relate to this! My kiddos are 3 & 1 and last year I left 20 years in various education fields to stay home with them. And then God opened writing doors. My day looks very similar to yours these days and I hear you on naptime! I guard it jealously. Thanks for sharing, it’s encouraging to see someone else’s experience.
Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Yes it’s a lot! But it’s fun and crazy all at the same time!
Lol, yes mine wake up ready to go! I hope it will serve them well as adults
So true! I can say that getting up earlier makes a big difference! And committing to Bible time in the morning truly changes me
I’m so glad! I don’t pretend to have I all figured out and zero days go perfectly, but I’m happy with the rhythm we’ve found.
Thank you!
Sounds like the best of both worlds to me.
I homeschool two children and I have a similar schedule, but I do find time to write during the day sometimes. I grab time wherever I can and write as many words as I can with my goal being 1500 words a day, if at all possible. I also write late at night and lately I’ve been waking up early so I can finish the current book.
I’m not a morning person either, but we’ve got to do what we’ve got to do!
I’m curious as to when (or whether) you get to look at your WIP as a whole. Having made the journey of getting it down in words in short spurts, do you go back and look for continuity and flow?
I don’t think I have ever been a very good multi-tasker, so I have only one word for what you have accomplished: WOW! Just WOW. I’m so glad that you are able to enjoy the season of life that you are in and to make the most of the gifts that God as given you. Thanks for sharing some of them with us!
Thank you so much for sharing your day with us. God bless you.
I think so too :-)
Yes! I’m glad you’ve found a schedule that works for you. We can do it!
Oh yes, I have to go back and read the whole thing from the beginning. I’ve even laughed when I figured out that I mixed up a detail that I wrote one way and then changed it somewhere else. And honestly, I usually have to stop and read it when I’m about 2/3 through the draft. I need to see how far the characters have come before I can write the end. It goes through multiple rounds of edits though! For me, I think I kind of “stay in” the story because I’m thinking about it the background so often.
Thank you! It’s not always easy, but I hope I’m making the most of it!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading!
all the hats a woman wears…
Sounds familiar…the only difference…I work full time 🤷🏼♀️ Four kiddos too!
God gives us strength ❤️
I love having an insight into your day. I am single and a procrastinator. I use to not get up early but with 2 cats I tend to get up earlier (not today cat came in at 3am crying she had a mouse (live mouse) caught and in bin, 5am another live mouse caught and in bin. I slept to 8 and was hearing noise she had another one in the lounge room then lost it and about 5 hours later it too is now in the bin.
Put me behind for the day.
Love your outlook and priorities! Keep up the good work and attitude. Thanks for all you do to keep your readers entertained.
Hi, it sure sounds like you are a very busy mommy and writer! And you are so very right, Where there is a will there is a way! Quality time is the Best time you can give your little ones, and you are so very right, they grow up too, too fast, so we have got to enjoy them as much as we can as for as long as we still have them at home. I was very blessed that I was at home with our 2 children(now grown up and with little families of their own) when they were growing up , up until they graduated from HS, my husband and I made that decision , I think when our children are growing up, they need at least one of their parents or grandparents if they are willing with them, Have a Great weekend and stay safe. God Bless you and your family.
I’m totally impressed. I’m a mostly stay-at-home mom, too, but during the school year, I teach preschool two days a week. My writing time has mostly been during naptimes and in the evenings, but my kiddos are getting big enough that they don’t like to take naps a lot of days, either. Sigh. Right there with ya in those tears. So, I’m having to refigure how my writing time goes. Right now, I’m sludging through about an hour at a time, but my deadline is in the far distance, so it’s not TOO bad. Still frustrating, though. :-)
Thank you for sharing how your day typically goes when you’re writing. I was just thinking today that if a person wants something bad enough, they’ll make time to make it happen :-) I’m glad you found what works for you!