It’s probably not a surprise that I love contemporary romance (I’m pretty sure all of us who blog here fall into this category – after all, it’s not likely that you write something you don’t also love reading.) And as much as I love reading the romance plot line, I also love the fact that the majority of romance novels also have a strong best friend plot, too.
I suspect, if we were to break it down clinically, we’d find that authors add in best friends because those characters can go on to be another book in the series. But I think there’s probably also more to it – after all, doesn’t everyone wish for that best friend?
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Last week we apparently celebrated National Best Friends day. In my real life, this isn’t likely to be a holiday I celebrate because if you asked me to name my best friend, I’d tell you about my husband. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being friends with the man you marry prior to that relationship changing into dating, and I’m all for nurturing your friendship as well as your romantic relationship once you’re married. But generally speaking, Best Friend celebrations have to do with same gender friendships. And that’s a category where, sadly, I don’t tend to have a lot of positive experience. And I think that’s part of why I love those plot lines in novels.
Women, in particular I think, hunger for a best girl friend. Someone who chooses them over anyone else because they want to (so we’re excluding siblings here, which is sad, because my sister is awesome, and yet still not classically a BFF) and not from any perceived sense of obligation, foibles and all. That friend who’s as close as a sister, but somehow more than a sister because there’s no blood tie requiring them to hang around. Even better? A group of friends. Fancy that, more than one BFF! I can practically hear the bluebirds chirping and the little mice scurrying around, singing about how they’re going to make me a lovely dress. It’s idyllic, isn’t it?
When I stop and think about my favorite romances – the ones I go back and re-read multiple times, they always have a solid friend (or group of friends) in addition to swoon-worthy romance. And if each friend gets their own book, well hey, that’s just more time for me to spend with these women who I wish I could know in real life. (Lots of lovely ladies who blog here get this friend story line so right! If I spend two seconds thinking, Valerie Comer and JoAnn Durgin pop to mind, but they’re by no means alone.)
In my Taste of Romance series, Paige Jackson, the heroine of book one (A Splash of Substance) doesn’t
have a BFF. She’s a lot like me in personality — someone who’s always been happier as one of the guys, because women confuse her. But even still, she yearns for that relationship.
So I wasn’t overly surprised when, as I was writing book two (A Pinch of Promise), it turned out that Rebecca sat down to dinner with her two best friends – the people who knew all her secrets, good and bad, and loved her anyway. The ones who pushed her to want better for herself than what she’d decided to settle for. Even better? I think all three of those girls are going to end up being friends with Paige as the series continues.
And all of that leads me to a final question — do you have a BFF (or two or three)? If not, do you wish you did? And are you as enamored with the friendship storylines in romance novels as I am? Leave a comment and let me know – I’ll draw a winner or two for an e-book of A Pinch of Promise.
Elizabeth Maddrey is a semi-reformed computer geek and homeschooling mother of two who lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. When she isn’t writing, Elizabeth is a voracious consumer of books. She loves to write about Christians who struggle through their lives, dealing with sin and receiving God’s grace on their way to their own romantic happily ever after.
I have had a lot of best friends over the years that come and go. My present best friend is my sister in love Susan. She has been my sister in love over 20 years but I lived in one state and she lived in another.
In 2013 we moved back to the same town and redeveloped our friendship.
We have become so close, calling nearly everyday, sharing confidences and taking mini road trips with our husbands..
We now call each other Thelma and Louise and love to laugh hysterically at each other.
She has made a rough patch in my life endurable and she will be my bff forever.
I love the best friend story lines because the characters can play off each other.
Keep writing , Elizabeth,I look forward to more.
Linda Rainey
Oh what a lovely tribute, Linda! She sounds wonderful.
Elizabeth, I can relate to you. My best friend is my husband. When I was a kid, I had best friends in school. But after I became an adult, I can’t say that I had a BFF like I did when I was a kid. I don’t know whether it is the family responsibilities or the fact that we moved a lot, but I never developed the same kinds of friendships that I had when I was young. I had and have friends, but not in the same way.
Like you, I have never had a BFF. I’ve had lots of women friends, but women do tend to confuse me. If I’m honest, I tend to confuse myself on occasion. :)
I grew up with two older (much older) brothers. As a child/teen, I’d rather have been outside than doing something “girly.” I climbed trees vs the social ladder, made mud pies vs real ones, and loved outside more than in. Even now, I like cutting grass (made more fun on our zero turn LOL) more than fixing dinner or cleaning.
I wonder if you’re on to something, Merrillee. I do think it’s harder as adults to have and maintain those relationships.
Oooh, I love cutting the grass too! :)
Maybe it’s the tomboy/introvert who struggles with BFFs?
I have friendships that have lasted since 1st grade, but it is the friend that I met at 15 years of age that has stood the test of time. Not a believer when we met, she came to the Lord after we graduated college and then became a true sister, as well. It has been amazing how the Lord has used her in my life since that time. Now our oldest children (16 year old girls) are just as close as we were at that age.
I had a wonderful best friend starting in the fifth grade, but eventually, we lost touch. Imagine how happy I was when she managed to find me via the Internet a couple years ago! We aren’t close like we were in school because our lives went in such different directions, but it sure is fun to reminisce about those days and she still knows things about me that nobody else knows.
Though it’s not exactly the same thing, I have found some great friends online, mostly through the various author groups I visit. I do think all women crave that relationship, as you said in your blog. I know I do!
Going through school I had many friends, but no BBF. Girls in particular can be vicious growing up and I was often the target of thoughtless words and silly drama. My sister and I were 7 years apart and were not close until we entered our 20’s. It was then I found I had a dear BBF who I could call my sister too. My sweet hubby is also my BBF and I am thankful for this special gift God has given me. I admit that I would like to have that group of girlfriends to laugh and giggle and share lifes ups and downs, but I haven’t found that yet. I do have some special co-workers, but getting them to go out as a groups is tough as we all work different schedules.
I have one BFF, we’ve been since high school (I graduated in ’88). She was a year behind me and once we met, we were practically inseparable! We hung out after school, during summer, weekends, on the phone….you name it! We did practically everything together. Sadly, we live in two different States now….she’s in the Midwest and I live on the Oregon coast. We talk on the phone or text each other though. But it’s certainly not the same and I do miss that closeness that a BFF would bring if we could hang out again every once in a while. I don’t have another female friend who’s that close. And yes, I yearn for it! I think we need each other as we struggle with life’s demands as mom’s, wives, women.
I think that friendship is a great storyline within a book. Most of the time, the author will go on in the next book featuring that friend. Makes for a great series,if you ask me :-)
No need to enter me in the contest as I have already purchased my copy of “Pinch of Promise” for my Kindle.
Terrill – what a wonderful, wonderful friendship you have! Thank you so much for sharing about it!
Isn’t the Internet a wonderful thing (most days)? :) I have lots of online friends, as well – but there’s something so awesome about having a person who can come over for coffee and a chat.
The schedules we all have today definitely play a factor in transforming those friendships into close ones, don’t they?!
Thanks, Trixi! I’m sorry your friend moved – my closest friend moved just shy of a two years ago now and I still miss being able to call her up and say, “Hey, let’s take the kids to the playground so we can hang out.”
Hope you enjoy A Pinch of Promise! :)
Actually, Elizabeth, I was the one that moved away many years ago :-) I grew up in the Midwest where I met my BFF in high school…….long, long story short, I moved to the Oregon coast in 1996 to be with my fiance (now husband) and have been here ever since. I have been back to visit my family and BFF a few times but I sure do miss that physical closeness. When I did get to see her again, it was as if we’ve never been apart! The only thing I wished & have been praying for, is a female friend like that here….I sure miss that :-(
Ha! Well, moving to be with your fiance is always a good thing – being nearby makes marriage easier :) And really, the Oregon coast is so lovely, how could you not want to be there?