The books I’ve written have a variety of ages for the hero and heroine. I’ve written stories with heroes in their thirties and the heroines in their twenties. I’ve written stories with heroines who are older than the heroes. I’ve written stories with heroes and heroines who are close to the same age.
When I first started reading romances many years ago, I would say all the heroes were older and the heroines younger. I married a younger man, although only a couple of years younger, but I have a friend who married a man seven years younger than she is. I wanted to read a story with an older heroine and a younger hero, so I wrote one. That book never sold, however, I did eventually write and sell a book to Love Inspired with an older heroine and a younger hero. That book was Love Walked In, now reissued as Second Chance Gift, the second book in my Pinecrest series.
I also wrote two more books with older heroines, A Place to Find Love and Kirsten’s Mission, first published by Love Inspired as Nursing the Soldier’s Heart.
Sometimes the age difference is something the hero and heroine think about as the relationship grows, especially when the age difference is more than a couple of years. In other books age is barely mentioned.
Do you have a favorite age combination in the romances you read? Please take the poll and leave a comment.
I will give away an ebook copy of one of the books I’ve mentioned in this post, winner’s choice. I will draw the winning name on June 30, at 9PM EDT.
“Void where prohibited; the odds of winning depend on the number of entrants. Entering the giveaway is considered a confirmation of eligibility on behalf of the enterer in accord with these rules and any pertaining local/federal/international laws.”
Merrillee Whren is an award-winning author who writes inspirational romance. She is the winner of the 2003 Golden Heart Award for best inspirational romance manuscript presented by Romance Writers of America. She has also been the recipient of the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award and the Maggie Award for Excellence. She is married to her own personal hero, her husband of thirty plus years, and has two grown daughters. She has lived in Atlanta, Boston, Dallas, Chicago and Florida but now makes her home in the Arizona desert. When she’s not writing, she spends her free time playing tennis or walking while she does the plotting for her novels.
Hi Merrillee, I’ll happily read romances with heroes and heroines of any ages or any combination of who is older or younger, but I think as I’ve got older i enjoy seeing characters of a similar age, so I voted for the forties category. I agree that when I started reading sweet romances it was all older heroes younger heroines so it’s nice to see there is more of a range now, not only in your books but with lots of writers. I think the only thing I’m not so keen on now is to much of an age gap either way – in a lot of older romances the hero was often 15- 20 years older than the late teen /early 20s heroine and although I know relationships can work out like this it now seems a bit of a power imbalance I’m not so comfortable with.
Age does not always make a difference. My sister is dating someone twenty years younger than her. It seems to work for now. I think it is too much of a difference, though it seems to work when it is the man twenty years older than the woman.
At the end of the day I think the most important thing is the emotional maturity of people, a man 7 years younger than me can be seen as someone of the opposite sex or a younger brother, it all depends on his level of maturity.
Hi Merrillee! As a retiree when reading romance stories, not sure if I have a favorite age. I voted for late 20s because of the couples maturity – job / career and hopefully know who they are and what they expect in a life partner. So characters in their late 20s or beyond, depending on troupe. Stories with single parents the age is probably in their 30s or 40s. For age difference – I am 1 year older than my husband. My daughter in law is a year older than my son. We have friends with a 5 – 10 year age difference. Anything more seems more like a marriage of convenience. Looking forward to reading the responses. Best wishes.
I find large age differences difficult to get involved in, maybe in my life I have seen too many younger spouses having to cope with a sick/frail partner when they themselves are still fit and active. They love their spouse and don’t begrudge it, but it just seems sad!
Honestly, I read books with heroes and heroines of any age, but the older I get, the more I like older couples. I grew up reading Barbara Cartland (my oldest sister used to get them at the library, and I started reading the ones she checked out!), and ALL of her books the hero was in his late 30’s early 40’s, and the heroine was lucky if she was 20!!!! The more books I read, the more I hated those where there was more than a 10 year gap!!!! I still don’t like those, and prefer that the age difference be much smaller, though I don’t care who is older. I think part of my aversion could be that there’s a 16 year gap from me to my oldest nephew, and if a man was closer in age to my nephew than me, that just is a total turnoff for me!! The idea is creepy!!
Hi Ruthie,
I’m with you about a large age gap. I have one book in which there is a 12 year age gap, and that was definitely a concern for the hero.
Hi Gina,
That is a big age gap, but I’m glad it’s working.
Hi Lilly,
That is very true. Emotional maturity is so important in making a relationship work.
Hi Renate,
Age differences seem more important when people are young, not so much in adulthood. In our church small group for a while all the women were older than their husbands. We joked about it being necessary to be part of the group.
Hi Jeannette,
That can be true, but a person never knows what can happen. Even the younger spouse may become disabled for one reason or another. Whichever situation occurs, it is difficult for the caregivers.
Hi Trudy,
I know what you mean about those older romances. I got tired of that scenario, too.
Welcome today. Thanks for sharing this wonderful input. When I started reading, I liked the young heroes and heroines. As I got older, I liked the ones that were a bit older and wiser. As I got even older, I really like the ones who were older and wiser again. Now that I am in my 60’s, I really dont see many christian couples that are my age and older. I am not a big contemporary reader. But I have started with these and so far am liking what I am reading.
I prefer they be in close in age. Usually, 30’s for him and late 20’s for her. However, I have read all ages and enjoyed the stories, so I consider myself fairly open.
Hi, I don’t mind the age of the hero or the heroine, as long as they both mature and one of them isn’t underage. I think love comes at any age it just depends on the maturity of the person. not entering this ebook giveaway, but thank you. I am not tech savvy. Have a great day and a great week.
Any age that isn’t young adult!! Older woman, younger man not a favourite, unless it’s just a few years. Valerie Comer did a good one with the final Cavanagh story, “Trust Me With Your Heart, Cowboy”.
I had friends in my youth where she was 4 years older than him. They were frowned on, but stuck to their guns. They are still happily married over 50 years. Just goes to show. It depends more on maturity level!
no fav
Hi Lori,
Most romances still feature younger couples. It is rare to see a story with an older couple. I have included older couples as secondary characters in a few of my books.
Hi Cherie,
I think it’s important to give different age groups a try, but we all do have our preferences.
Hi Alicia,
You are right. Love can come at any age.
Hi Margaret,
I know my friend, whose husband is 7 years younger than she is, has a marriage that is still going strong after 35 years. I think it depends on commitment and trust in God, not age.
Thank you so much for sharing. For me, the age does not matter. It me, it is all about the story. God bless you.
I voted older heroine in her 30s, but this is one book I want to write after I finish what I have already started. In fact, all versions you left me to vote are OK for me to read or write about, plus more options having teen characters, some of the same age, some the boy older. (Yes, I write YA too.)
I know some people are squeaked by age gaps, but they exist in reality and why not writing about them too? Besides, an age gap romance becomes an illegal relationship only if sex is involved. I think nobody would have anything against a younger teen dating an older teen or an older teen dating an adult (well, still keeping the age gap reasonable) if the parents know both of them well and trust them not to do anything more than eventually kiss on dates, or if they are seeing each other in groups with siblings or cousins.
While most of my main characters in contemporary YA novels I am writing are of the same age, at most one year difference (because in the historical adventure novels, it is different, there the heroine was usually in her late teens and the hero in his mid to late twenties – in my cases, I mean, because debutantes in general were usually married to men in their thirties, with wealth and able to run an estate or to have a carreer). there are, here and there, secondary characters with a larger age gap. (Again, in the conditions I mentioned above): a twelve grader in love with a nine grader (still not sure about the names in US, and I know that in Canada and UK is different, but this means 18 years old and 15 years old – and this age gap happened in a few of my novels), or even, in one case where the love lasted and they got married later, an Uni student of about 22 in love with an eleventh grader – which means around 17 years old (they got married when the eleventh grader graduated Uni, and their parents were OK with their romance).
I remember that there were such cases when I was a teen, and in most cases the parents were OK with the romance (within the established limits, of course, no sex involved). There were enough of my high school colleagues (a mostly-girls highschool, with some classes not having boys at all, some having 2-3 and 30+ girls) who had boyfriends who were already Uni students or doing their military service (in that time, conscription was compulsory, for one year and a half, after highschool graduation).
I understand that! I think the reason why it looks “dirty” today for a 15 or 16 year old to date a 19 or 20 or something older or a 13 year old to date a 15 year old is because people assume there will be sex involved or at least passionate kisses.
Also because the age of marriage has increased so much that it looks “bad” because we think that obviously the girl of 15 will not get married when she turns 18 (in my country it is the age of majority) or 20 so too much temptation, there is no future !
In Japanese romances (manga/anime) it is usual to see an age difference without sex involved, just like in Georgette Heyer’s regencies, but the feeling it conveys is different, you know that the youngest person is safe and the older person will not want to take advantage of i but rather respect the slightly younger age of his partner.