credit: Jesus de Blas
As I was growing up, even into adulthood, I compared myself, my life, my accomplishments to those of others around me. Did I play my solo better? Were my pants too short? (all you tall people out there will identify with that!) How come I wasn’t as smart, pretty, skinny, talented, short, etc. etc. as everyone else? When I started writing, I wanted to be as good as so-and-so, even as I started winning contests.
Yes, comparison could have been my middle name. (luckily it’s Marie) But all that comparing wasn’t because I had to be the best; it was because I didn’t want to be the worst. Middle of the pack was okay with me, yet I never seemed to measure up to even mediocre. Was that really true? Of course not. But that was my perspective.
What I needed to understand as a teen, and what we all need to know now – beyond a shadow of a doubt – is that we are perfect just the way God made us. He created us to be a unique being, completely unlike anyone else. (Maybe you’ve heard that saying – “you’re unique, just like everyone else.” It’s true!) Why is that so hard to accept, to internalize, to even believe?
Media and marketing have never been the friend of teens and young adults, or us older adults, for that matter. If we just had a nicer car, bigger house, more money, a skinnier body, longer/shinier/bouncier hair, whiter teeth, or the perfect _________, we’d be happy. (insert buzzer noise here) None of that matters to the God who made us.
What matters is what the Bible tells us. In Philippians 1:6, Paul says: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” God began a good work in each of us, and He will be faithful to see it through – regardless of our dress size, IQ, the color of our hair (or if we even have any), our bank account, or our job title. Regardless of how often we sin (which is a relief because I mess up big time!), or the condition of our heart at any given moment. He created us just so to be the Beloved. Isn’t that amazing??
I believe it’s true for every romance writer on this blog that we write because we believe God called us to write. We write unique stories, create interesting (we hope) plot lines and memorable characters. But there is one truth that threads its way through each book. God loves us. Unconditionally. Just the way He made us.
And if we believe that, truly believe it in our bones, we’ll find there’s no need to compare, to come up short because someone else’s is newer/better/more expensive/prettier. There will always be someone faster or smarter, who has more money or a bigger house, or who sells more books. But in the scheme of eternity, we know it really doesn’t matter. At all.
That’s the theme of my book, One of Me, releasing June 1. (insert happy dance here) It’s not who we are on the outside (tall, short, thin, plump, dimples or no) – it’s who we are on the inside that counts. With unique talents and thoughts and dreams, and with a specific call from God to be who the world needs us to be. In upcoming posts, I’ll share a bit more about the story and how I believe that what the main characters wrestle with is the same issue we all wrestle with.
For now, just know that mine doesn’t look like yours. And that’s something to celebrate! (Remember, if two people are exactly the same, one of them is unnecessary!)
Who does the world need you to be?
Blessings on your journey as you discover the answer!
Stacy
P.S. In my post last month, about waiting, I mentioned we were awaiting our first grandbaby. Kaira Mae Crist arrived
Valentine’s Day evening after just 3 hours of labor – a healthy 9lbs! Her parents are thrilled, her grandparents even moreso. :)
I can already tell I’m going to LOVE being a grandma! And while I know Kaira will be THE prettiest and smartest grandchild ever, I promise not to compare her to anyone else. ;)
Stacy is a freelance writer with articles published regularly in local community magazines and national publications. She also writes web copy for area businesses and a monthly newsletter for a women’s health business. She blogs regularly on Land of 10,000 Words where she features Minnesota writers, and provides insights into the writing craft and industry. Past president and founder of MN-NICE, the Minnesota ACFW chapter, she is now the Area Director for Minnesota. Her debut novel, One of Me, releases June 1, 2014, through Choose NOW Publishing. And if you ask her about her 1st grandchild (born Valentine's Day 2014), she'll be happy to show you some pictures.
Hi Stacy, lovely post and a wonderful reminder of why we are unique and valuable. Congratulations on the arrival of your granddaughter – she’s gorgeous :)
I love your line “Mine doesn’t look like yours — and that’s something to celebrate!” And congratulations on your new granddaughter!
Thank you for the reminder of our uniqueness, Stacy! (Being a grandma is the BEST!)
I absolutely LOVE this post! Thank you for the important reminder that we are all walking unique paths!
Stacy, congratulations on a beautiful granddaughter! Kaira will light up your life even more than before, I’m sure.
Congrats, also, on the release of One of Me. Totally joining your happy dance! Looking forward to getting my copy. Not too much longer to wait!
Right now, I’m being who God needs me to be by tutoring middle schoolers. So many kids are being left behind in schools across our country. I’m blessed to be able to help those in my area of the US of A.
Blessings, my friend!
Andrea
Proofreader/Writer
writingtoinspire.blogspot.com
What a wonderful post and reminder that we are wonderfully made in God’s image. You will so love being a grandparent. It is soooo fun!
Thanks, Narelle! I think so too!
Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same, Beth? We’d all write the same books (I LOVE yours, by the way), sing the same music. People need to celebrate our differences rather than be afraid of them.
Cathy, I’m only a month into grandmahood and I’m already loving it!!
And the best part, Kathleen? All paths lead to the same place – where our uniqueness will be a celebration in heaven!
And bless your heart for heeding the call to tutor those kids, Andrea! :)
Thanks, Merrillee! I have yet to meet a grandma who doesn’t LOVE the job!!
I still struggle with this, Stacy!! It’s so hard when you are intimate with your own inadequacies, and not so much with others. And isn’t it something we as Christians do, that we try to look lovingly at others and miss ourselves. Great reminder to love ourselves because HE made us. So happy about your grandbaby!!!
I think we might be twins, Stacy, right down to those high-water pants we tall gals had to wear!
I also struggle with comparing myself to others, so your post really hits home! Thank you!
I love your post and am so glad your book is being published soon. The LIKE button isn’t loading easily for me, but if it makes it, I’ll definitely click. Keep up the great work–in terms of comparisons, you shine.
Well said, my friend! Can’t wait to see your book!
That’s me all over, Stacy. Let’s not get into comparing who has the cutest grandkids, okay?
First, Stacy…Gorgeous baby. Congrats of becoming a grandma!
Now, I love today’s insight. I was one of those tall girls who always feared she was walking around, “expecting a flood”, as rude girls pointed out. LOL I also played flute, even to the extent of studying music in college. Yes, I was always paranoid about not measuring up in one way or another. Like you, I didn’t have to be the best, but I most certainly would have been horrified to have ever been the worst. Fortunately, I never endured that fate.
It was a huge big deal for me to realize and accept who I am in Christ. Christ doesn’t make junk. HE also doesn’t make mistakes, or “obsolete” people. That means that ALL of us are unique, and valuable to God, as well as to the humans in our lives.Case in point…look how much you and that new baby will add to each other’s lives.
I wish young girls, today, would understand this concept, and accept themselves as God sees them. I have two nieces struggling with this in different forms, as I type. Thank you for today’s reminder to just be ourselves, and know that we are perfect, just as we are, in God’s eyes.
Great point, Dawn. We often do a great job celebrating others and forget ourselves. We might not want to “brag” but living out your calling as a unique child of God is hardly bragging!
Brenda, you’re amazing just the way you are – high water pants and all! (I STILL don’t like my pants too short but finding them long enough is tricky. At least I’m not as tall as my 6’7″ son who has a 38″ inseam!).
Thanks, Delores! My hope is that my shining reflects God at work in me. Good thing His mercies are new every day, hmm? :)
I can’t wait to see it either, Gail!! Have I mentioned I hate waiting? (oh, wait – that was last month’s post!!!)
LeAnne, isn’t it a wonderful thing that there’s enough unique beauty in the world for ALL of our grandkids to be the best, brightest and cutest?? We’ll definitely have to share pictures soon!
I was a pretty good flute player in high school but I knew I’d never win the coveted “first chair.” But then – I never wanted it. Too much pressure!! I learned that being 2nd, 3rd or even a bit lower was okay.
That’s why I wrote One of Me – about someone who’s lived the famous life and comes to realize it’s mostly smoke and mirrors – for the girls and women (and everyone, really) who struggle with trying to be like so-and-so, instead of being who they are.
Let’s keep spreading the message, shall we? :)
Can’t wait to read it all Stacy. You go girl. Your grand baby is beautiful. Blessings my friend. Thanks for the great post.
Huge congratulations on your new precious, beautiful grandbaby girl, and on your new book! You have many exciting times ahead.
Great article Stacy. Can’t wait until your book is out!