Can people really fall in love at first sight?
Or, maybe at second… like a week or two or three… after meeting?
Maybe we throw around the word love too easily. I’ve always been taught that love isn’t really a feeling because feelings are fickle.
Love is a choice. We make a choice to love someone through their bad habits, annoyances, faults and for their strengths.
But those feelings…? Those little thrills of excitement when someone causes us to take a second look. Or say the perfect thing at the right moment. Or maybe they say the wrong thing, but you can’t help but like them anyway. Looks might, or might not, have something to do with those first initial feelings. Gifts of flowers or other such things might help, too. But is that really it?
When my husband caught my eye, he was covered head to foot in dirt from working construction. But the way he wore his cap backward was endearing. And his constant smile and laughter… well, that’s what hooked me. That grin and how he was always laughing, even when his workmates were grumbling and frustrated.
Maybe it’s those silly little things about another person that hooks us in and keeps our interest up until we get over the initial feeling and realize that we could live this person if given the chance.
Romance stories seem to rush this process. As I write my stories, I find myself in a word count/time frame bind that seems to push things along much quicker than I’d normally think was realistic. But who really wants to read about the long, slow process some people go through when falling in love? And I honestly don’t recall it being a long, slow process for us. We seemed to fit together rather well, even though we were opposites.
What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter. Do you feel that love, at first sight, is possible? Or complete bunk?
Do you believe feelings can develop quickly? Or that, when you meet “the one” deep down you know it? You just know it.
I’m interested in what you think about this. I guess what had me thinking along these lines is that I just released my second Lavender Vale Farm series, Love’s Harmony. Remember the little Texas town of Sweet Grove? Well, there’s a new batch of stories releasing this week and Love’s Harmony- Book Two is one of them.
Here’s what this next installment is about:
Melanie Brown’s life was sinking into a miry pit. She hated her job, had an apartment she couldn’t afford, and her pride was tumbling. After being dismissed from her teaching job, as a music instructor, Melanie’s mother, Lilly Brown showed up with her flying eagle RV, ready to take her to a ‘safe place’ on her sister Faye’s lavender farm. There, in the quiet town of Sweet Grove, she could recoup her losses. Melanie had thought her life couldn’t get any worse. She was wrong.
Wild Billy Higgins loved taking risks. He’d rode bucking broncos and ran into burning buildings, but none of that prepared him for the bristly, sharp-tongued woman that had come to stay at his best friend’s farm. He could have believed that Faye’s beautiful sister was an angel sent from heaven if her horns weren’t tilting her halo.
He’d never backed away from a challenge, then again, he’d never been up against the likes of Melanie Brown before. They say opposites attract. Billy just wasn’t sure if they could ever get along and live in harmony.
Love’s Harmony is now available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.
If you’d like to find out more about the First Street Church world and my three book series, check out the First Street Church page on my website. You’ll be able to read the first chapter and find out more.
For those of you who leave a comment, I’ll pick one to win a copy of the first book in this series, Love’s Mercy.
Have a wonderful week.
Jackie C.
Jackie Castle is the author of The White Road Chronicles a fantasy series, The Sentinel Archives for school-age readers, and newly released Madison Creek Bed & Breakfast romance series. She has also published articles and short stories in numerous magazines. She’s enjoyed many crazy adventures from working as a hairstylist, to her bravest quest: teaching children in daycare and elementary schools. Eventually, she settled down to a somewhat safer pursuit of being a Story-weaver. Now she lives in her comfortable Texas home where she spins marvelous tales and enjoys relaxing in the evenings with her husband Bob, their children and grandchild. She looks for the extraordinary in every ordinary day that she experiences.
Hi Jackie, I liked hearing more about how you and your husband fell in love- thanks for sharing:) I think that real, true love develops over time, but the ‘first sight’ love is that attraction that can grow into the real, true love. I was definitely attracted to my husband at first sight- his smile, his sense of adventure and fun (and to be truthful, how he looks:) I remember thinking that he was someone I could definitely be with forever- that developed and grew as I got to know him further. Through the grace of God, we have celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary with many more to come:) It will be fun to read what others think:)
Blessings:)
I think love at first sight is possible and feelings can develop quickly. My relationship with my husband was neither of those, but it’s still working out after 17 years of marriage and praying for many many more years ahead!
Hi Jackie! Falling in love is easy. Yes, I believe in love at first sight. A person catches one’s interest. One wants to spend time getting to know the person. I met my husband at a church college group. I enjoyed talking with him because he was studying German and enjoyed classical music. While dating, he struggled with a career choice – being a doctor or being a pastor. I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. My mom was the church custodian and I knew pastor’s families lived in glass houses. While I enjoyed his company, I struggled with what my life would entail as a pastor’s wife. God and I had many a heated discussion. In ROMANCES this is where the book ends – with the proposal or the wedding. I said yes. Together my husband and I had many blessings (made friends, had 3 sons, and now 4 grandchildren ) and faced many challenges (12 moves to 7 different cities in 2 states, a devastating house fire, caring for my aging parents and now retirement). Love is a CHOICE. We will be celebrating 45th anniversary in June. Great question. Looking forward to reading the response. Enjoy your day.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I think you have to take time to get to know someone. I like books where love develops over a realistic time period, even if that means an epilogue set a year or so later where the couple gets married.
I think that you can have a feeling about someone when you first meet them. I think true love, however, takes time to develop, but that time might be shorter for some than others. My husband and I technically knew we were the ones for each other after the second time we “saw” each other. But we e-mailed back and forth for nearly two years before that. So we had plenty of time to get to know one another and see what the other person was like.
I enjoyed hearing about how you and your husband met!
I believe there can be that first attraction that might seem like true love and might lead to true love. But you don’t know a person by a look. I have been attracted to several men at first sight that was definitely not true love.
We will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this summer. =D
Yay for 17 years!!
Wow, awesome story. 45 years…that’s amazing.
We are heading toward 30 and I’m glad I’ve made the choice to keep loving him. Even if it’s made over and over and over. lol.
I hear you. I’ve had some people tell me they fell in love at their first date, but I know for me, it took a bit of swaying and time to see a potential husband behind that charming smile and laughter. =)
Thanks Melanie,
That’s great that you took your time. We ended up dating a couple of years before we married, too.
Amen. It does take time to get to know someone before you’ll know for sure. But not always. ha.
Yes, I think love at first sight is possible, however not probably. I think what you described above could also be called chemistry. What keeps a couple together is commitment–that is true love. I think we can feel love, but I also believe we have to choose to love sometimes too. :)
I know people who immediately knew they loved someone, but even they took time to get to know each other and let that love grow. By the Bible definition of love – love is patient, love is kind… – it takes time to choose to love and for that love to be tested to see if it’s real, by being patient, kind, … My hubby knew he was going to marry me long before I knew. My love grew over time, and it wasn’t until I realized how much I loved to pray with him and worship with him, that I then realized I really loved him. We’ve been married for 41 years, and our love really does continue to grow.
I think the “problem” is what definition of “love” we’re talking about! 1 Corinthians 13 love is a long ways from the initial attraction/infatuation that is often called “love at first sight.” I was attracted to my husband the first time I met him, and wanted to get to know him better. However, it took spending time together, writing letters, praying, etc., to come to the point of saying “yes” when he asked me to marry him. We’ll celebrate our 45th anniversary this year. One fun thing is that when I was talking to my parents about marrying him (and they’d met him before I did), my mom say, “You have doubts??!!” She didn’t!
Couldn’t agree more, Kimberly.
Aw, that’s wonderful. Thanks for sharing your experience.
That’s great. And I think you’re so right. The Bible has a lot to say about Love. That’s what we should set our basis on.
I believe that sometimes you can meet the one person that God has planned for you and just know, but that it takes time to develop and fall deeply in love with the person you know.
Yeah, I believe that, too.
Love and first sight, I don’t know.
I believe when you meet the right person, love doesn’t take long. It will just continue to grow. I met my husband when I was almost 15 and knew I loved him within a month. We are still together, married for 33 years.
I agree with you that books rush the falling in love; but what else can the author do when she must meet restrictions.
I do believe you can fall in love at in a moment, but that did not happen to me. I did not like my hubby at ALL. My best friend wanted me to meet him and go on doubles together. He did not impress me at all. He was short, very plump, had eyebrows that almost met on his face, and walked a little odd due to a hip that was broken in earlier years. I told him I would only date him to have somewhere to go, but I don’t like you.
We dated for several years and I thought lots of times “I don’t like you any better today than I did the first time we met. But God is in charge of lives and knows what he is doing; one day I suddenly realized “my I don’t like you” had turned into “I love you just as you are” and fifty years later we are still in love and happy. He has been my rock, my encourager, my friend, and my love.
I don’t know how often it happens but I think that it’s possible for a couple to fall in love at first sight. I believe that my brother and his wife became engaged less than three months after they started dating, so a relationship can certainly progress quickly under the right circumstances.
Love at first sight? Maybe.
Chemistry at first sight? Yes!
And I truly believe in ‘knowing ‘ when it’s the right person.
Love at first sight. I could see it happening if it is meant to be.
I think that people can find the “one” they’re meant to be with and “know” they’re the chosen one, the first time they meet.
I think love at first sight is possible but I also believe in it being God’s will. Thanks so much for sharing.
When I met my husband there wasn’t love at first sight, but it was like! Over the next four months we came to enjoy each other’s company and then love hit us! 36 wonderful years before his death, and I still have my memories! No one has ever took his place, as if they could!
I believe in instant attraction not necessarily love.
I used to be of the mindset that “no, that’s lust”. However, as I get older and realize that I know three different couples who had a very fast courtship. My own Pastors met and he proposed (kind of a crazy story that is a little too long, ironic, innit? to type out haha) almost immediately, three days later she agreed, and within three months of that initial meeting, they were married. 38-39 years.
My kids ‘church Ama and Papa’ married after subsequent divorces with multiple children involved. 36 years
My husband’s former youth pastors (and very good friends of the family) met in November and wed in April. I am pretty sure they are approaching their 40th year as well.
There is even a story that I can remember from the Bible where it seemed to be love at first sight. At least from one side of things. It didn’t take long before Isaac “loved Rebekah”. The scriptures say that Isaac married her and he loved her.
Granted, it doesn’t say what kind of love it was.
March 29th is my ten year anniversary for Cris and I. We met when we were teenagers 17 years ago. There was a bit of an age gap (I am older) and I only thought of him as an acquaintance and friend. Our attraction was a little different. He was always kind of interested. I quickly became attracted to him once we were both a little older. Within a few months we knew that we loved each other. We had a moment about 3 months in where we asked ourselves and each other if we could see it going anywhere. Even our time together before marriage was only a year and a half.
Love comes in all forms. But you are right to say that it is a choice. There is a song that says “love is a verb”. I agree whole-heartedly. I think that there are plenty of people who just don’t know how to make the feelings follow the verb. I always like to say that people should NEVER follow their heart. They should lead their heart. That shows how it truly comes down to an action.
Anyway, I am hoping that this made sense. I feel like I started to ramble a bit, haha.
Have a great day!
This! Yes. I also think that it has to to do with timing. If you are both in the right place (in life) at the right time… love needs no encouragement.
LOL is it really that hard? To fall in love? At first sight? I don’t know… Mine wasn’t from the first lol more like a thousand seconds. We’ve celebrated our 15th anniversary in February!
Ah, I love that story. =)
I’ve had friends who said it happened that fast for them, too. So, yes, I suppose it’s possible.
Sometimes, that one is enough. What a touching story. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, what wonderful thoughts. Love does come in all forms. Great concept. Thank you for sharing.
=)