by: Staci Stallings
For the past couple of years I’ve been intensely interested in the concept of flow or flow state. Some call it optimal performance state. Basically, it’s when you go from System 2 thinking (consciously thinking about something) to System 1 thinking (automatic thinking or subconscious thinking).
A good way of understanding it for most people is to think back to when you first started driving a car. At first, everything was new, and there was so much to pay attention to. Just doing the brakes right was a problem. That is a great example of being in System 2 (conscious) thinking.
After a while, you began to just drive. In fact, now you can probably drive and eat. I’ve seen some women drive and put on their makeup. Some drink coffee, and as we all know, some think they’ve got the driving thing down so well they can text and drive (they can’t!). That’s System 1 (subconscious) thinking.
Flow is when you shift from consciously having to think about every step in what you’re doing, and instead, you just do it. A basketball player, for example, doesn’t have to think “Dribble, dribble, dribble, pass” once they get good at it. Much of their actions and movement are very close to being automatic.
I like it when my writing is automatic.
(I’m not much of a fan of writing when I’m in System 1. It’s laborious, tedious, and very frustrating.)
In the current series I’m writing, all of the characters have their own “flow” thing. One writes poetry. One plays several instruments and writes music. One works on cars. They have all been finding their “flow thing,” but they didn’t know that’s what they were doing.
Enter Taylor who has been taking the LONG way around to find her thing. She sings, but singing isn’t her real flow thing. She paints, but painting is more her friend’s flow thing than hers. In fact, she does a lot of things rather well but maybe not really well. Until now.
In Psychology class, they started talking about positive psychology, of which flow state is a component, and WOW! Did that change her life! All of a sudden, she’s watching all of these videos on flow and learned helplessness and beta-alpha-theta-delta brainwaves. It’s so fun to watch her be so fascinated because up until now, she’s been kind of bouncing around, going through the motions.
It’s also fun now to get to watch her start to understand her friends in a different way than she ever has before. She’s starting to “see” what they are doing and how their “thing” shows them how to be fully alive.
So, dear reader, what is your “flow thing”? What do you love to do that you can do for hours and lose all track of time? What is a flow thing you’ve seen someone else do that fascinates you? Share with us so we can all have some inspiration of things we might think about trying!
And be sure to check out Taylor’s story in the newly released “When You Sing a Love Song.” You’ll get to learn right along with her!
I can flow along beautifully when I am knitting a familiar pattern. I just do. It’s very restful.
Not sure for me, other than reading 🤣 of course lol!
Reading, for sure, for me, and making cards! Probably playing Spider Solitaire, too!
I think I have two things I really flow through. One is embroidery. I have been doing it so long that it is a big stress buster for me. I don’t need to think about it but can do it while listening to a book, TV or having a conversation with someone. So relaxing!
The other think for me is baking & a good deal of cooking. When I cook I don’t always use a recipe but tend to just throw things together, going more by the look & tasting to see what seasoning the dish needs. Actually when I was young I got irritated when trying to get a recipe from my Grandma, she added ‘just enough of this to make it look right’ or ‘taste this to see if you need more seasoning’. The day I had a friend ask me for a recipe & I said, well, enough of this to make it look right….. When she asked, do you ever measure anything??? I couldn’t help but laugh! I had finally made it, I cooked like Grandma-which I considered a huge compliment!
I agree with Paula Marie. I can definitely lose myself in reading. ☺ The other thing that comes to mind is working jigsaw puzzles. If I don’t put a clock where I can see it, it’s hard telling how long I might keep working on the puzzle.
Interesting!
It used to be milking the goats by hand. Sometimes it’s writing. Making soap, kneading bread, and once in awhile on a good horse, riding.
Cute! What a lovely story! I used to be the same way. I had to have everything spelled out exactly in a recipe. Now I have refined some recipes to my family’s taste so much that I just “know” when it’s right and couldn’t tell anyone how much exactly. Maybe that’s the mark of a tried and true recipe?
I consider myself a “multipotentialite.” I have interests in many areas. I never could decide on the many interests to major in during college, so I ended up graduating with a Humanities degree, which is a little of everything. It has what amounts to a minor in English built in, which is why they wouldn’t let me use English as my minor. So I joke that I didn’t really major in anything; I just double-minored. ;)
Even now, I don’t consider myself an expert at anything. I have felt that flow — I call it being “in the zone.” Some times it’s when I’m painting, scrapbooking, or designing graphics. More usually it’s when I’m writing.
this is a wonderful post. reminds me of when I first started memorizing verses in the Bible. i had to find my “flow” to get these down. and I did. it took a while but i have a nice flow now for memorizing verses. my “flow” is quilting. i can literally get lost in time when i am quilting. suddenly it is past time to make dinner. LOL thank goodness i have frozen meals i have prepared in advance and twice a week i pull a bunch out of the freezer and put in the fridge to thaw out and when this happens my husband just grabs one and eats. my moms “flow” was gardening. she had beautiful gardens. she would spend hours in her gardens and wow but it really showed. we always had berries and veggies that she would can.
I think you’re right with that! Both of my Grandmas had certain recipes that were their ‘specialty’ and it’s not easy to make it just like they did! My Grandpa’s home made spaghetti sauce was the family’s mainstay. When he was young he bugged a chef until he finally let Grandpa watch him make it one time-no paper & pencil allowed. Thankfully Grandpa had a great memory and ran outside the instant it was mixed and wrote it down! I got his exact recipe but couldn’t make it taste quite right until I used venison for the meatballs. Finally after many years of attempting I have it right now and it tastes the same! It takes a 12 quart saucepan and preferably 2 days but yummy! Every time you warm it up it tastes better (& freezes great). That is the only ‘family’ recipe I make exactly the same, tried & true for sure!! I have ooodles of T & T but that tops the list!
I believe being multi-talented is awesome Lila. It makes it hard to be bored with so many things you enjoy and being as creative as you are you likely always have beautiful things you can make and share with others. Giving things you have made always mean so much more!
Reading, baking and cooking
Reading, listening to music.
I enjoy reading and organizing. I can get really into both at times, where I don’t want to stop.
Reading of course <3 I can also loose myself in time while doing scrapbooks :)
And, I can think of my hubby – fishing!
Writing and, even though I’m not as artistic as I’d like to be, creating graphics.
I can read for hours. I can also watch NBA basketball for hours!
I can get lost in read. And knitting a familiar pattern.
I can get lost in reading and when I am knitting a familiar pattern. I can spend hours pulling weeds, but I hope that isn’t a flow . . . 🤣
Working in the garden, I can stay out there for a long time, because it feels really good after I finish what i had started, and that actually goes for a lot of things. I can do crafts with my grandchildren and I enjoy it so much that I lose track of time.
I’m really good at getting lost in reading and talking to friends.
Peace. I think that’s my #1 “understanding” that I’m in flow. I just feel such peace while I’m doing it.
Paula,
Oh, reading is definitely one of my flow things. I thought it was for everyone, but then my son came along and he’s dyslexic. Reading puts him in learned helplessness something awful. So I guess I’m lucky in that regard.
Trudy,
Mine used to be Minesweeper. UGH. I could play that for HOURS! I also love Peggle and Bricks and Balls.
Thanks for stopping by!
TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!
I would never live through that!
I am not a cook nor a baker. However, my middle daughter cooks like that (her fiance likes to use recipes and measure everything! When they cook together, I leave the kitchen!!!). She is like, “Put enough in but not too much.” Oy, yeah, not my preferred way of cooking but ironically just like one of MY grandmothers (her great-grandmother that she never even met).
I can’t focus on cooking for more than — well, ten minutes is about my limit. Then I have to come in here to the office and do something else. I don’t know how many things I have burned over the years because it was taking too long, and i went to check something “right quick.” Standing there, stirring for hours so something doesn’t burn…. yeah, that ain’t happening!
Jessica,
You sound like my mom! She loves puzzles. Puzzles give me hives. I’ve only done a few of them in my lifetime, but when I did them, I’d have to do about 30 minutes at a time and take frequent, very LOOOOOOONG breaks (like two days until I could talk myself into it again!)
Dalyn,
Okay, I grew up on a family-owned dairy, and I can tell you that milking was NOT on my list of flow things. :) I’ve never made soap, nor bread. I could go with you on the horse riding though. I LOVED that when I was younger!
Thanks for stopping by! God bless!
You made me giggle Staci! I can imagine what it’s like with your daughter & her fiance, it would be funny to watch. Those 2 days, most of the time is just letting it cook and thicken. The worst part is that it smells heavenly the whole time! My hard salami is a lot the same. You mix it once a day for 3 days before putting it into logs and baking. It bakes 6 hours on a low temp but after 20 minutes your mouth starts watering! I guess I like things that cook long enough to torture everyone in the house with yummy smells! lol
My sister is much like you-she hates to cook. She’d much rather pull a motor apart, fix it & put it back together!
Definitely reading! And, during my growing up years it was riding horses.
Lila,
That’s one of the other monikers of flow, being “in the zone.” I think having many interests is great. I learned the value of that when I began writing. Because I was good at a lot different things and knew about a lot more different things,I could easily write about many things in life–from journalism to landscaping. Being able to make things is so awesome! It’s so great to have that talent.
Editing…
This article made me think. My first thought was reading which I love to do. Cooking and gardening come in next of flow things I do. I will be paying closer attention to see if their are others.
I need to correct my last name. Its Kennedy.
Wow, such a great and interesting concept! I totally identified with the “Enter Taylor…” paragraph since I don’t consider myself “artistic” or “creative”. Yet, after reading some of the comments, I think I could say that some of my “flow things” would be reading, doing puzzles/sudoku, and, actually, proofreading (I have a grand-aunt that described it as, “those typos just jump at you!”).
As for others’ flow things that fascinate me are my mom’s love for gardening, baking, and recently, doing all things scrap(-booking).
I associate the flow state with heightened concentration or focus and a simultaneous sense of relaxation (or peace as Staci said above). As a young person, I always thought that flow (or any manifestation of skill) was a gift. You either had it or you didn’t. I found many different things easy for myself (music, learning, reading) so I thought that was how it worked. You either had it or you didn’t. I had friends who were gifted athletes and I most certainly was not! It seemed to be another example.
In recent years, I have come to realize that achieving flow comes from putting in the practice. Some things are easier so they require less practice BUT other things that used to seem impossible, I now believe are a possibility because God designed us to grow and learn, at any age. I agree that there are some people for whom some specific things are a greater challenge (like reading and dyslexia) but even then there is hope. I happen to know a dyslexic who managed to get a masters degree before he was even diagnosed.
If I could give you a year of free time and the promise of 5 million dollars if you could learn something that you now think is hard (baking bread, meal preparation, playing hymns on the piano, solving puzzles, playing chess), do you think you would be able to make some serious progress? Sure you could. At the very least, you could go find someone who knew that skill and take lessons. It’s not ability that we lack, it’s motivation.
So, if there is something out there that intrigues you but you think it’s too hard. Go try it anyway and keep at it. Read some books about it. Take some lessons. Do it even if it doesn’t feel natural. By doing it you will *make* it feel natural. In the end, I think flow comes where we make it.
Reading, jigsaws, washing the dishes, riding ferries – all activities where I lose myself in them and find them useful in centring myself.
Oh gracious, Deb Galloway,
Here’s what happens when I “let things sit for a day or two,” I FORGET them altogether! I can’t read those books that you’re supposed to read like a page each day. NOPE! Not me. I do really good for about 2 days, and then I just totally forget. Now when I get back to it in 2 months, am I supposed to go back and read all the stuff from where I stopped to here, or do I start over, or do I start where I left off? I’m terrible with those kinds of things. They are torture!
Lori,
With the food thing, I’m that way with writing. If it weren’t for my husband liking to cook (and eat), I’m afraid we would have starved. In the good news department, I’m really good at shopping for food (nothing else though!). So we always had something to make. I just never liked making it.
I wish I was good at gardening. Gardening to me is like cooking. I get very “this is going to be FUN!” and then I’m out there ten minutes, and “let’s go do something else!”
I do think it’s cool about the verses. I’m about to start teaching sixth graders life skills again, and helping them find their flow and HOW each one studies best is one of my fun things to do. I think it’s so important for each of us to learn how we best learn. I know it’s helped me and my kids immensely!
Patricia,
All wonderful flow things!
God bless!
Ooooo, listening to music! That’s definitely one of mine too. I’ve learned I can do music with words that I know while I”m doing book work. Music with words I know really well if I’m writing something that I know what’s going to happen or how it goes. Music with NO words if I’m not in flow state when I’m writing (my mind can’t “focus” on more than one thing when it’s struggling). I can only listen to new music with words if I pretty much stop and focus on it. Otherwise, my brain tries to split in half to figure out what they’re saying.
:) Thanks for stopping by!
Megan,
You sound like my oldest daughter. She has alphabetized the cans in my pantry before and had a MARVELOUS time doing it. I consider it a victory if I get the cans into the pantry to begin with. No way am I organizing them!
God bless!
Hi, Bernice Kennedy :)
I’m curious (question for everyone), if your flow thing is cooking, what do you most like to cook? For me, if I can throw something in the Instant Pot, I’m good. If it takes more time and effort than that, it’s not going to happen.
Natalya,
I know a lot of people who love fishing. My middle daughter is one of them. She actually buys her own fishing license each year. They go boating and sometimes drop her off in the cove so she can fish. Strange thing is, if she’s ever caught anything, she lets it go.
I’m not a fisherman, but if I spent that much time to catch a fish, I would not just let it go! (Then again, if I caught one, I would freak out completely, so there’s that too!)
Sally,
Oh, yeah, there’s one of mine too! I create memes or ads in Canva, and if I ever get going, I could be here for hours and not realize it. I tend to do those in one big chunk of time, and then I HAVE to go on and do something else because I’ve used up too much time.
Linda,
There was a time in my life that I liked to watch NFL (football), and I like basketball–but more high school if I can be there to watch my hometown team or one of my nephews play. I love watching NBA highlights on Facebook when they come by, but my attention for whole NBA games is not there. Now I think if I could do something else while I watched (like sew or something), I could probably do that.
This is fun hearing everybody’s flow things!
Marcia,
I’m beginning to think that was part of my problem. I always tried to do new things with like knitting and sewing. I never went back and did the same pattern twice! That might have helped me not be so frustrated. :)
Marcia,
Actually pulling weeds CAN be flow. That was my grandmother’s flow. I think it was her reason to get outside and get some exercise in the sunshine.
My mother-in-law used to have flow by going out and “treating” prairie dog holes. They had so many on their land that she would spend hours out there trying to get rid of them.
Me, man? Ten minutes outside is about my max. Them prairie dogs would’ve just taken over if it was up to me to convince them to leave.
Alicia,
I think spending time with people I love is one of mine. I’ll even wash dishes with my dad and have fun doing it!
Gardening is so not my thing, but I truly TRULY appreciate those that do. I love gardens–just not gardening!
Diann,
Centering is such a great concept! It’s something I try to teach my sixth graders when I do life skills. I think we so often rush around trying to do everything and get everything done. It’s so important to take some time and breathe and center. Frantic is not my preferred way to live!
Thanks for stopping by!
Lincoln,
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!
This is exactly what I’ve been learning about brain development. Most of the time, the things that come easily to us are things that VERY early on, we found that we wanted to practice–even before we knew that practicing was a thing.
When I was four, my grandpa asked me what I was going to get from the store, and I told him I was “anticipating” getting a ring.
Then, one day we were playing ball, and I said I was going to “capture” the ball.
Those two stories followed me around my whole life (with people thinking they were funny), but what I saw much later is that words have always fascinated me. Even before I could read them, I was “into” words. I understood how synonyms worked (thus, capture instead of catch), and I was always trying out new ways of saying the same thing.
As I look back now, I realize that the things I’m good at (typing, writing, reading, teaching) are all things that I found I liked enough to practice and get good at them. I have some other things that I HAD to practice and so I got good at them (like bookkeeping and shooting a basketball), but I don’t have the enjoyment of them to practice enough to go to the next level.
I also think there are levels to the flow state. There are things I LOVE to do (total flow). Then there are things I don’t mind doing (medium flow). There are things I’m not a fan of but I can do relatively easily (low flow). And then there are things I hate (either boredom, apathy, or downright learned helplessness!).
Great thoughts!!!
Priscilla,
My mom LOVES sudoku. My dad can’t STAND it! However, my dad loves to play the piano–a skill he picked up about 5 years ago when he was 73!
I think we often dismiss ourselves and others when they don’t have one specific talent or “thing.” But I think that is such a mistake because sometimes it is in the hybrids where flow lies. For Taylor, she needs to be interested and see the value in many different forms of flow for her to do what her ultimate flow thing is. It’s just that her flow thing isn’t one thing. It’s a combination of a lot of things that she has to learn one at a time. She doesn’t know that yet, but it’s fun taking the journey with her!
I also think that just being aware of the concept of flow is helpful because too often people who do not share your flow thing consider whatever it is to be a “waste of time.” My hubby’s thing is building things, and he could not figure out WHY I would want to spend time reading. it took him a long time to appreciate what I did for flow (he still doesn’t understand it though! :)
Denise,
You’re my kind of flow person! :)
Do you prefer to edit your own writing or someone else’s?
Melynda,
Talking to people is definitely one of my flow things. I don’t know how many times I’m in here in my office and someone (usually one of my college-age kids or kids’ friends) comes in like at 10:30 PM when I thought I was about to go to bed. We get to talking about life, and all of a sudden, it’s 3:30 in the morning! That’s happened many, MANY times!
God bless!
Susanne,
I used to go riding horses with my grandpa who had several of them. I wouldn’t be brave enough to try it now, but it sure was fun back then!
Thanks for stopping by and chatting!
I know what you mean Staci. I have the same problem with many things, I think it boils down to what interests you as a whole. If I’m trying to do something like that, a certain amount every day if I can keep it up depends on if it’s something I enjoy. If it is cooking/baking related I have little problem. But if it’s something mechanical (for example) and I need to do a certain amount every day I will never last! At my age I love to learn new things, I want to learn something new every day I’m blessed enough to wake up. But if it’s not something that I’m at least somewhat interested in I just can’t keep the attention I need! I like to try new things but it needs to be a short and constant task. I have to pace myself now to get through anything (physically) but when looking around my house I can see cleaning/sorting is far from my good point!
Reading. I loose hours a day because of my habit.
I have never heard it put like you did. Reading is my flow, but not sure what outside of that. Not artistic or athletic , I am even getting to the point where driving is not flowing like it did for so many years. At 65 many things have changed and no longer just flow. I guess that happens to some more than others. My mother was flowing automatically in many areas till she was in her 80’s.
Haha, in my family my dad is the one who LOVES it (he was the one to teach me), and my mom… well, let’s just say that we haven’t taken the time to teach her yet :) As for you dad, that certainly *is* impressive! I love that! And he certainly proves that one’s never to old to learn somthing new.
And yes! So true! I love the idea of the hybrids, and Taylor seriously sounds like someone I’d love to read about :) Can’t wait to take that journey with her!
And I don’t know why, but reading what you said about the awareness of the flow concept and how it can be helpful brought to mind the 5 love languages and how people can feel unloved because they aren’t being spoken or feeling appreciated in their love language. Still, the fact that your husband has learned to appreciate your reading even if he doesn’t necessarily understand it speaks “love” to me ;)
This makes me want to read this book even more some how!
Reading for sure. I have a game I also play sometimes on my laptop. I could get lost in it for hours.
I’d say cooking (or baking) and talking at the same time. I could be doing my thing and still talking to my husband in the kitchen without losing my “groove”. Or working around the house and talking to someone at the same time. It’s like I don’t even need to look at what I’m doing to know I am doing it right :-) Or if no-one is around, I can listen to my worship music and do chores somewhere in the house at the same time (does anyone else dance when nobody is around, lol). Housework, cooking or baking come so natural to me that I can multi-task while doing them.
The only other thing I can think of, is typing without looking at my keyboard. I’ve done it so many years now (took it in high school) that I can type with my eyes closed, lol!
HAHHAHA!!! Boy, I’m with you on that one, Deb! I’ve got piles of stuff everywhere. I have the intention of getting it organized and some of it out of here. Somehow that never happens and it just grows.
I have a lesson in Personal Finance coming up that says what you don’t value, you will find distractions to avoid. I think that means I don’t value organizing enough to actually get it done!
The love languages certainly opened my eyes to a whole different way of thinking. I actually do that test with my sixth graders as well. My daughter and her fiance took a class where they talked about the love languages and although they already knew about them, they got a lot out of it.
I don’t think my dad will ever like soduku. I like it until I play next to my daughter and her cousin. They’ve played so much that they’re like, “oh, that’s a nine.” “the three goes there…” “Oh, that’s the one.” I’m like, “AAHHHH! GO AWAY!”
Elizabeth,
I hope you’re finding good things to read, then it can propel your life forward rather than wasting time doing it.
:)
God bless!
Nancy,
Driving by myself is definitely flow for me. I often get some of my best story ideas while driving.
My mom and dad always say that getting older is not for the feint of heart. I’m only 50 and I’m agreeing with them!
Abigail,
:D That made me smile. I hope you’re enjoying the series!
Daphnee,
I have a game on my phone I could play for hours. I have to MAKE myself put it down.
Trixi,
I was a typing teacher, and one of my specialties was being able to think into my typewriter. No one could ever believe how many words I could write so fast from just straight out of my head. I think that’s a combo of journalism/newspaper and typing.
And talking is definitely one of mine too!
I love to drive too, it’s so relaxing! And what your parents say about getting older….oh yeah! I’m 58 but have been down physically for 6 years so it was excelled for me to boot! I have had to change what I do for my flow but refuse to give it up! I hate not being able to be cooking/baking like I used to but have found the things I can do in short spurts and just concentrate more on different things. I’m too stubborn to give up & plan on many years to come!
I love puzzles too! I’d get so lost in them I would easily forget about making meals. I passed it down to my daughter, by the time she was 6 years old I had to tell family if they bought her puzzles as a gift not to get anything less than 1,000 piece or she would be bored with it! Definitely my girl!!! 😉
I also enjoy puzzles and just finished doing a jigsaw online. I have 2 different sites that send me puzzle of the day. Mother always said to play puzzles and other things that will keep your mind sharp and active. She lived to 95 and was mentally sharp till the end, when her heart stopped. So I try to do different things on line that will keep memory/mind active and challenged . Even though the “flow” is not as it used to be in the things it once was. But that happens as you age and medications have side effects and affects.
I was not good at puzzles until about a year ago. I stumbled on jigsaw puzzles online and have become hooked. It surprises me the things I am good over last 20 years are things that gave me trouble before 45. Yes I just gave away my age. :-) So I guess as we age our flow may change with it. Main thing to me is to be happy and pleasing to God.
I do online ones now too Nancy. I have one site I use and probably do around 10 a day. I like to do them as I listen to books! I used to do embroidery but bone spurs in my thumb have all but halted that. Still I can’t stop multi tasking! I believe you need things to keep your mind engaged too! My grandparents built 4 houses after Grandpa retired just because they were bored & then he turned to making amazing things in his wood shop. My Grandma would wood burn or paint things to personalize them. They both lived to 98 so I agree with keeping your mind busy!
Interesting topic. I’ve never thought about my “flow”. Reading I guess could be one for me but I also love crafting- paper crafting, scrapbooking, card making, rubber stamping, jewelry making , crochet and knit. I could go on.
LisaC,
My daughter is going to have mostly hand-made flowers at her wedding and I got to cut out almost all of the petals. She couldn’t believe how fast I could cut them out, but I said it was all those years of sewing and doing crafts!
Oh, my son is like that – he is fishing because of the process itself, not to catch anything lol
Wow this was an enlightening post. I love crafting and I can always tell when I’m in the wrong mood it’s just not going to work so I shut the craft room door and move on with my day. But when I’m in the flow it works beautifully and I feel productive and even enjoy it! It’s like therapy for me. I didn’t know this about the flow but it makes perfect sense to me.
Rebekah,
The hardest thing is writing when I can’t get into flow. That is torture, but sometimes I’m just not in the mood and yet there is a deadline. I always refer to it as “breathing.” I think that’s a synonym for therapy. It relaxes me when I can write in flow!
Hi Staci, My sister and I are both pastor’s wives and we have talked a bit about feeling like we can do many things well, but nothing Great. I came to the conclusion that as a pastor’s wife you need to fill in the need at the time it is needed and then move on to the next job and let the better accomplished take over when they show up. I like your thought on flow (I just hopped over to Amazon to buy “When you sing a love song” so I can find out more.) I love to create, whether it is painting, writing, dancing, singing, cooking/baking, gardening, building… you get the picture. Now I am going to pay better attention to which of these areas I can do in flow. God be with me! (and also with you;)
Reading The print books and baking!
Knitting and crocheting are what I consider my flow. It is so easy and relaxing.
Other than reading, I’d say singing, doing puzzles, and folding laundry.
I find it so interesting that you do that test with your sixth graders. That must make for some great conversations afterwards! And that’s beautiful about your daughter and her fiance (Congratulations, by the way :) ). One can always keep learning on this subject.
LOL. We tend to that to each other with my dad (though, admittedly, me more than him). If it’s someone else, I can think it, but won’t say it since I’d consider that rude.
For me, it would be reading and jigsaw puzzles. When I am doing puzzles, my mind can drift to a thousand other places and I don’t have to think hard about what I am doing with my hands.