A while back, I was blessed to be able to participate in a multi-author event at my local library. It’s always awe-inspiring to find out there are more than twenty other authors in the area, especially since I had never met most of them. Makes an author feel not quite so alone–a good thing for an extrovert like me.
One of the activities that day was a panel where they asked each author two questions. Since there were about a dozen of us, you can imagine how long that took. After all, authors rarely lack for words. But, one of the questions sent my way was “What sets your stories apart from other stories?”
Wow.
It’s such a funny thing–writing. In some ways, we’re supposed to model our stories a certain way to make sure they appeal to people who read that genre. But in other ways, we’re supposed to be different enough that people want to read our stories because they’re NOT like all the others. Still, while you’re writing, you don’t necessarily keep all of that in the back of your head. You simply put down the words God gives you and pray it’s enough. So, I had never really contemplated this question before.
Thank goodness they gave it to me ahead of time so I had a few days to chew it over.
Want to know what I came up with?
Well, honestly, I threw that paper away, but I’ll try and sum it up for you. (And I’m sure the other authors of InspyRomance feel the same way).
While a lot of romances focus so much on feelings or attraction, I want my couples to have more. I want them to have a good foundation before they get together so that their relationship isn’t only physical. I want them to have a shot at FOREVER.
Isn’t this what a lot of us want? Sure, it’s fun every now and then to read a lighthearted romance based mostly on appearances and kisses. But after awhile, those seem so shallow. Because we know love needs more than that.
Feelings fade. And, let’s be honest, we’ll never again look like we did back in our teens or twenties, no matter how close we are to them still. Age and life catch up with us.
But something more than those things can stay and even grow stronger. My husband and I started out as friends. And sure, we liked the look of each other too, but because we made sure to get to know each other outside of the physical first, our relationship is much stronger. It has a fighting chance to last maybe as long as our grandparents. One set of my grandparents made it sixty-six years … and then my Grandma sat beside his picture and read his letters until she went to join him. I want a marriage/relationship that strong.
And I want my characters to have that too. (I’m sure a lot of the InspyRomance writers feel the same way.)
Maybe that’s why the mom in Saving Grace gives this advice to Michelle:
“Love means supporting each other through the good times and the bad like Phillip and Darcy are doing. It isn’t butterflies and lightning. It’s something you can count on. It’s trust and support and reliability.”
“But don’t you and dad have butterflies and lightning sometimes too?” If those weren’t important, there wouldn’t be so many novels discussing such things, right? “Isn’t that at least part of it?”
“Sure. I had butterflies all over when I first met your Dad.” Mom squeezed her arm. “But over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the other kind of love more. It’s what keeps those flutters alive.”
What do you think? Do you prefer stories where the characters end up with a real shot at forever?
Amy R Anguish grew up a preacher's kid, and in spite of having lived in seven different states that are all south of the Mason Dixon line, she is not a football fan. Currently, she resides in Tennessee with her husband, daughter, and son, and usually a bossy cat or two. Amy has an English degree from Freed-Hardeman University that she intends to use to glorify God, and she wants her stories to show that while Christians face real struggles, it can still work out for good.
I agree with you, Amy. Enduring love and marriage need more than physical attraction. Faith, friendship, and commitment are so important. The outer shell may attract us first, but the inner persons of the couple determine if the relationship endures.
I completely agree – I want to believe that the characters have a happy ever after that is more than just a wedding and includes a good marriage. I really enjoy series when we get to meet the characters again in later books and see how their marriage is developing through good times and bad.
I do want to believe that the characters have found their forever when I finish reading a romance. And if they have that foundation, the reader can believe it!
Exactly, Beth!
Yes! That’s something I live too, even though I haven’t written a series like that yet. So fun to back and see characters doing well.
Agreed. Love when the foundation makes it believable.
That’s the kind of love I’ve been looking for since I was 12…unfortunately at 25 a lot of guys are still in the stage of “the physique and some charm” so…I’m not interested in someone liking me just because they think I’m pretty without nothing else below.
Sadly, the boy I can trust has not arrived, he supported me, etc… my male friends are still somewhat childish, I’m afraid that the easy times have pampered my generation too much. They are 25 and act like 15.
That’s a noticeable difference between Christian and secular romance…in secular romance at 25 the heroes and heroines are either university students having a crazy life or young adults who don’t know what to do with their lives in Christian fiction they tend to be much more mature hahaha .
Agreed. Christian characters do seem to be more mature although it’s not always true in real life. Don’t give up! I know people who got married in their 30s. :)
Oh, yes, I want to have a real shot at forever!!! There’s so much of the other short term stuff in reality, and I want to know that there are still couples who go into marriage for the forever, not the “until something better/nicer/prettier” comes along. Or, with the attitude of an ex-brother-in-law’s friend: If it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce. NO!!!!!
Yes! My husband and I looked at each other before marriage and promised “divorce is not an option.” It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it!
Nancy DeMoss got married at 54 hahaha it’s never too late to find love, a friend of my grandmother’s at 54 fell in love with her neighbor shortly after he moved in next door.
I love stories like that! Thanks for sharing!
Yes I do believe it.
Marriage is hard but it’s worth it. My husband and I have been married for 41 years and we have gone through some really tough times. We kept strong because of the vow made before God. Our marriage has just gotten sweeter the older we get.
My grandparents were married 70 years before she passed away at age 90 almost 3 years ago Friday will be 3 years ago. My parents have been married for 29 years they got married young and now have 13 children ages 2 to 28 I’m the third oldest so help a lot with my younger siblings as I’m still at home and Still single now I have 3 nieces and 3 nephews and a niece or nephew on the way all ages 2 and under my brother has the 3 girls ages 2 and under. My other brother has sons age 1.5 and almost four months . My sister has a son who is one and she is expecting baby number 2 in October she got married at 24 or 25.
Yes, I do. When I finish a book I want to believe that the couple’s relationship will be able to make it through good times and bad and only get stronger.
So glad I am not the only one with a vested interest in fictional characters. ;) But it does make it more satisfying.
Hooray!
I love hearing about long marriages. 😍
Sounds like blessings all around in your family!
I do prefer a story where the characters have a deeper relationship, not just a physical attraction. I like to see how that relationship develops over the course of the story. And I do like happily-ever-after endimgs.
All wonderful things!
Yes, I do Believe it can happen!
Hooray!
Yes, I like to read books where they have a forever relationship. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Thank you so much, Debra!
welcome today. a lasting marriage needs more than physical attraction. It needs commitment that what ever happens along the way, you have each others back. when we let our emotions rule everything, things will start falling apart. when we allow God in our hearts and we embrace Him together, the Holy Spirit brings us together like we could not do ourselves
Yes to all of this! My husband likes to describe marriage as a triangle. When we both grow closer to God (who is one point), we (the other two points) also grow closer to each other. Thanks for commenting!
yes or why read
If only everyone felt that way!
Yes I want them to have that forever love. I don’t want to read of short flings or relationships that are doomed from the beginning. Some Christian authors write books where in reality the characters shouldn’t get on or there are things that would be red flags in real life, like starting a relationship on a lie that in reality wouldn’t be solved easy. and these books you know in real life it won’t work.
But I love the ones where you can see there is real feelings and its not just based on the physical attraction and when there are obstacles you can see them working them out.
Yes, happily ever after exists, even if all lives have their own ups and downs. When they are dealt with by a couple, together, these bind them together even more.
Great points. And yes, there definitely needs to be some repentance when things start with a lie.
Agreed!