I feel like I blinked and it’s suddenly 2018.
No, really. How can it be January already?
I’m one of those reflective types, so each new year has me reflecting on the previous 365 days. And if I’m being honest, I’m not that happy with what I see in the rear view this time.
I once again had a year that was too busy. There were just too many things I wanted to do—too many things I said I was going to do. And it ends up with me feeling like I did many things, but I didn’t do any of them very well.
When we were at a large family gathering recently for Christmas, one of my uncles told me he felt like he never saw me—not in person or even on Facebook. And I responded by explaining to him that right now I am in survival mode. The things that have to be done at the house, on the farm, for my family, at my job, with my books…those things sometimes feel like they are all on fire at the same time and I am holding the only extinguisher.
And I end up feeling like I’m just trying to survive.
I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels that way. I got a couple of “we survived the holidays” text messages the day after Christmas from some of my best friends. We commiserated with one another about how much it stinks sometimes to be the one who plans the gatherings, buys the gifts, wraps the gifts, decorates the house, bakes the goodies…etc., and how that sometimes it feels like a never-ending race.
And you know what? This time, my year is going to be different.
In 2018 I only want ONE THING. I want to LIVE my life and not just SURVIVE it.
That means I will have to make some tough choices. I won’t be able to do all the things that I want to do. Because trying to do all the things is impossible.
It means downsizing the farm. (already in progress!) It means being realistic about writing projects, home improvement projects, and exercise plans. It means living my life with a purpose and being intentional about the ways I choose to spend my time instead of trying to “do it all” and ending up feeling like I’m constantly failing. Because overwhelmingly when I look at 2017, I see a lot of fails: Things I forgot. Things I meant to do and ran out of time. Things I wish I’d handled differently.
2017 was a tough year. My dad and my father-in-law both ended up in the ER, one of my aunts was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer, and I battled health issues of my own. And one thing I became acutely aware of in 2017 was how much my priorities needed to be realigned. I finally (toward the end of the year) took a step back at work and cut my hours there. It was hard because for nearly a decade, my career has been such a huge part of who I am. And due to the nature of my work (I work with transplant patients and their families) it’s been hard to set boundaries. For so many years, I’ve worked around the clock. Now I’m finally claiming time that is for me and my family. I even removed my work email from my phone! That was a huge thing for me, and something that has been so beneficial.
In 2017, I also learned that social media is sometimes a giant stressor for me. I disabled notifications because the constant barrage of things caused so much anxiety. I even began to take small sabbaticals from all platforms and I liked it so much I made it a habit. I don’t talk about my anxiety often, but I will share that social media breaks seem to help me to not feel so overwhelmed all the time.
Looking ahead at a brand-new year makes me feel hopeful. It’s a blank slate, all fresh and shiny and new. I learned some hard lessons in 2017. Now I need to take those lessons and apply them!
My goals for 2018 are simple:
More prayer, less worry
More people, less things
More joy, less stress
My “one word” for 2018 is BALANCE! I am hopeful this will be the best year yet for me and my family–and you and your family, too!
How about you? Do you have a word for the new year? Something you hope to do differently this year? Something that you hope to accomplish this year? I’d love to hear about it.
P.S. A Recipe for Romance, the next book set in Arcadia Valley, is available for pre-order! It releases January 16!
Annalisa Daughety writes contemporary fiction set in historic locations, including the Walk in the Park series, Love Finds You in Charm, Ohio, and A Wedding to Remember in Charleston, South Carolina. She lives in Arkansas and is hard at work on her next book.
I hear you on the notifications on FB. I got a new laptop and it keeps popping up all new notifications and chat etc. where as before I could disable it. I suffer from chronic headpain and stress is a major issue. I have worked out this is an issue and after chatting with the Dr I am now disabling chat on nights I am unable to deal with stress or the pain is raised.
Hi Annalisa, what a year you had last year! I appreciate your thoughts of “more prayer less worry” and “more people less things.” In such a consumer driven society, it is easy to get sucked into thinking that the more we have and do, the happier/more fulfilled we will be, when the complete opposite is true. My prayer for the new year is to remember to focus on others, less on self- something I struggle with!
Blessings:)
Hi Annalisa! Thank you for such an honest post. My thoughts and prayers are with you. As a young mom, teacher and pastor’s wife, I was in your spot and the holidays were especially overwhelming with obligations and responsibilities. This was the 1980s, long before social media or home computers. My mentor gave me some advice that I still use today, as a retiree. To TAKE ONE DAY at a time. To set priorities not just yearly or monthly but daily. EACH DAY is a NEW SLATE. So every Sunday evening, I made a list of appointments, responsibilities, and obligations and then daily I prioritized what needed to be done and what wasn’t so important or could be delayed, so I could breath. This kept me sane during the sandwich years, as mom, grandmother, teacher, and care giver for my parents and their household. Purposeful or intentional living may mean saying “NO,” especially to self. NO, I do not need to bake Christmas cookies, since as pastor’s family we received cookies from parishioners and family. NO, I do not need to prepare all the food for family gatherings, I can have people bring dishes and ask for help. Intentional living / balance is still my daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goal when interacting with family and friends. In Psalm 118 even the Psalmist felt overwhelmed. “Nations surround me like bees… This is the day that the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” One day at a time. A Recipe for Romance is preordered. Blessings to you, Annalisa!
I have been in survival mode many times! I have learned to pray when I get up in the morning, “God, what do YOU want me to do today? Show me what is important and what’s wasted energy. Help me keep my eyes on You, and let go of the things You want me to let go of.” I am so thankful that His mercies are new every morning! Every morning is another chance to trust in Him. I also know that is is a continual walk, a continual learning – with setbacks & with victories. With having my mind transformed by His Word. Every morning.
Thanks for sharing your heart, Annalisa. I feel like I echo much of what you were saying about being too busy. I’m working at living a more balanced and intentional life in 2018 and beyond.
I hope 2018 proves to be a great year for you!
Oh Annalisa! You are speaking my language! 18 yrs ago I was right were you are now, a busy mother of 3 (almost grown) kids, working fulltime and burning the candle at both ends. Then one day, I realized it was up to me to decide how I wanted my life to go, to mold it into what I wanted it to be. I was at a point in my life were I was able to stop work, so I did. I made a conscious decision to slow my busy life down to a speed where I could enjoy the life God has given me and focus on what was really important. I have never regretted that choice, so I can tell you as someone who has been where you are, you are on the right track and making wise choices. Sometimes we have to give up a lot of good things to make room for the best things. And I agree with the other commenter, practice saying no, you will get better at it the more times you do it!
Somewhere along the way balance was my word too, I think I actually did that word 2 yrs in a row, as it was so key in my daily life. My word this yr is kind, as in “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgave you”. Another word on it’s 2nd yr go-round, I obviously have more work to do so here I go.
Thanks for sharing your life, I feel like I’ve just had my morning coffee with a good friend, a good choice for this morning as it filled my emotional connect tank! Keep working on the most important and I think by the end of the year you’ll have good results and feel the blessing to be found in simplifying your life.
Sorry for the typo, that’s just as in Christ God forgave you :)
Thanks Tracy! Love the line “have to give up a lot of GOOD things to make room for the BEST things!” Unfortunately that means saying NO! Actually had a colleague practice saying that with conviction. Best wishes!
Lord bless! It is good to strive for balance. Having adult children now, Christmas is a lot easier than when they were little and we were busy in church. We’re enjoying a slower pace as we’ve relocated near our kids and are taking a year sabbatical from volunteering. I want to do what God directs and not just jump in. So far He has put on my heart to be involved with kids and grandkids. It is a blessing to be near them. Happy New Year!
Hi Renate, We are definitely on the same wave length, I’m a list-maker too, and a big advocate of purposeful and intentional living. Otherwise, we look back on all the busy and look back and wonder did we really live. Have a blessed 2018!
Wow, this post is so fantastic….speaks to so many of us! I admire your decisions, Annalisa and pray 2018 will be a great year for you. This time in 2016 I was facing surgery for knee replacement. This time in 2017 I was facing surgery for back. 2018 – no sg. so far! Inspy and its great authors and commenters have been such a blessing to me!
wow this sounds so much like my last year. thank you for sharing that I was not the only one. we can make this next year special in so many ways. I hope you don’t mind, I would like to borrow your goals and your word for my year. last year there were a lot of health problems throughout the family and deaths.
My word is one that we’ve all heard but hate to use. The word is NO. I fill my days by saying YES when I should be saying NO. So this year, I will take time out for what I want to do and not what everyone else thinks I need to be doing.
Annalisa, I so appreciate your blog post and the many wonderful comments it has generated! It echoes what I am trying to do – live, not just survive. It’s tough to say no and not try to do everything. It’s wonderful to have time to enjoy life and I think that’s what God desires for us. My first few days of 2018 have been great and I hope to continue a slower, less stressed way of living all year (and beyond).
I totally understand that! Sometimes you have to pause and take care of yourself–those notifications can wait! Hope you have a wonderful new year!
Thanks! Focusing more on others is a great goal, and one I should aim for as well!
Thanks, Renate! One day at a time is great advice! I’m a list maker, too, and need to do a better job of prioritizing those items so that I can focus on what is really important.
Wonderful thoughts! Prayer is definitely the key!
Loved your comments. As I’ve been diagnoised with MS a couple years ago now, I’m finding I’m not as fast anymore and it is not just from older age. At least i now know the reason for a lot of the changes. I’ve been trying to downsize my email. I enjoy the free books, I’m on disability now, and have to limit my spending more. So after getting over 200 emails a day, I recently started to get off a few sites that have a lot of chats and such. I call it downsizing. I’m doing that with a lot of things in my life now, just so I can still cook some meals for my hubby of 44 years and most of the normal things that we like to do. So Happy New Year to you and best of wishes for your new goals.
I love your goals and balance is an excellent word for the year.
Thanks, Kimberly! I hope 2018 is a great year for you, too! :)
Thanks, Tracey! Glad to hear I’m not the only one! And having to give up a lot of good things to make room for the best things is a wonderful sentiment! I may need to post that on my fridge so I’ll see it every day! Good words to live by for sure! Happiest new year to you!
Thanks, Diana! Oh, I like the idea of not just jumping in and instead going where God leads. Enjoy your kids and grandkids! Happy New Year to you as well!
Thank you, Jackie! I know all too well that surgeries can really take a toll–hoping you don’t have any in 2018! (my stepdaughter has had 10 surgeries in the last 2 years related to her car accident, and I know how hard recovering and rehabbing from those can be!) Happy New Year!
Stillness. So needed this year.
I love your goals for 2018!