Every Christian romance has several firsts: first time the hero and heroine meet, first date, first kiss. But of all the “first” moments, one of my favorites to write is the first time the hero and heroine hold hands.
It’s a seemingly small and simple gesture, but there’s just something about it that makes my stomach swoop every time.
Maybe it’s because I still remember the first time my husband Josh and I held hands.
***Cue flashback***
1998. Josh’s graduation party.
The smell of campfire wafts over the backyard, and though it’s June, a chill hangs in the evening air.
I turn to my friend Becky. “My hands are cold.”
She gives me a pointed look. “That’s what your boyfriend is for.”
I swallow. Josh and I have only been dating a few weeks. What am I supposed to do, just stick my hand in his and expect him to be okay with it?
Mustering my courage (what there is of it), I turn to Josh. “Becky says you’re supposed to hold my hands.” Ugh. What are we, in second grade?
Josh gives me an awkward look. But he takes the hand I hold out and wraps his warm one around it. “Better?”
I nod. It’s not just better. It’s perfect.
***End flashback.***
Okay, we’re not even going to talk about how cringe-worthy that was. It’s how it really happened, and I wouldn’t change it (though I am thankful that I get to write better first-time handholding stories for my characters). To this day, I still love the connection of holding my husband’s hands (and in case you’re wondering, yes, that is a picture of our hands from our wedding day in the image above).
And I can’t think of holding hands without also thinking of the feeling the first time each of my babies wrapped their tiny little fingers around mine. Or the feel of their sticky toddler hands clutched in mine. Even now, once in a while, my youngest and my oldest (both girls) will still hold my hand (the middle two, who are boys, not so much!).
But there’s one more set of hands that I appreciate even more than my husband’s or my children’s or my characters’: God’s hands. I love how often the Bible tells us that God holds our hands, that he holds us in his hands, that he created us with his hands.
Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. -Psalm 119:73
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. -Isaiah 41:13
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. -John 10:27–28
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. -Psalm 139:9–10
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. -Psalm 73:23–24
And I think my favorite verse that expresses how strongly we are connected to God’s hands:
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. -Isaiah 49:16
What a powerful image! Can you imagine having something engraved on your hand? It’s not coming off of there! And you’re never going to drop it or forget about it or lose it. It’s always right before you. We are always right before God. Right there on the palms of his hands.
Just one more reason to love those handholding scenes.
How about you? How do you feel about hand holding? Do you enjoy seeing characters hold hands for the first time? Do you have a favorite image of God’s hands?
Valerie M. Bodden has three great loves: Jesus, her family, and books. And chocolate (okay, four great loves). She writes emotion-filled Christian fiction that weaves real-life problems, real-life people, and real-life faith. Her characters may (okay, will) experience some heartache along the way, but true to her tendencies as a hopeless romantic, she will always give them a happy ending. Valerie is living out her happily ever after in Wisconsin with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their four children. Visit her at www.valeriembodden.com to get a free story.
It really does depend upon whose hands I am holding.
True! It does make a difference whose hand it is!
I love holding hands. And wedding hand pictures. And baby hands. And sticky toddler ones. And my boys will still sometimes humor their mom and so I can get tween hands now and then.
So many wonderful hands! And I’m so happy for you that your tween boys will still hold your hand sometimes. Now that I think about it, mine will occasionally warm my hands up–maybe that counts. :)
I love baby hands!! And toddler ones. I still hold my Mom’s hands sometimes, as I help her when she walks.
There is nothing quite like little hands! And I’m sure your mom loves that you are there to help her and hold her hands.
I adore holding hands…. something so sweet about it!
Yes! Sweet is the right word!
I think holding hands can be romantic because it connects you with that person.
I completely agree, Megan!
I think it’s absolutely sigh-worthy when the hero & heroine first hold hands in a book….even more than their first kiss :-) It’s that feeling of connectiveness that’s so special in my mind. I love when an author describes it like an electrical charge that works it’s way up their arms (or something similar), because I can feel it for real. Brings a smile to my face every time! And yes, I often reflect on the first time my husband and I held hands….even after 23yrs it still brings that warm feeling & smile to my heart.
I also love the picture of God holding me in His hands and in times where I just need to feel His arms around me, I picture that in my mind. I feel loved, surrounded, protected and cherished!
Yes, definitely a sigh-worthy moment! And I agree that it can be even more so than the first kiss because it’s really that first moment where you see the couple’s connection. I love when it’s written so well that I can feel it too! I’m smiling to think of you smiling about remembering the first time you held hands with your husband. :) And God’s hands and arms–I love that image of how he protects and cherishes us.
How beautiful! I never thought about God’s hands in this way. Holding hands is very romantic. I remember in middle school (we called it junior high back then), holding hands was the furthest I would go with a boy, so it was always special. I remember the first time I held hands with each boy. The last first time I held hands romantically, my now husband invited me to the very last dating outing of our college career, just a month or so after we’d started dating. The whole purpose of a dating outing was to be allowed to “touch” the opposite sex in a chaperoned, controlled environment. We held hands on the bus and whenever else we could.
Aww, that’s so sweet! And I love that holding hands can be a big deal no matter what age we are. :) Definitely romantic (even in that awkward junior high kind of way when you’re younger, lol).
I love holding the hand of my hubby. Even after over 38 years
Aww, so sweet! I smile every time I see a couple holding hands. :)
Holding hands is such a Special feeling , being tiny little hands all the way up to masculine hands , it’s always such a warm feeling when it is done with Love. I am so very Happy that God is Always holding my hand and leading me to where I need to be. I love to see people holding hands, especially when it is an older couple. Have a Great weekend and stay safe. God Bless you.
I agree! It’s so sweet to see couples who have been together for a long time still holding hands. A warm feeling is a great way to describe it.
Love your post! I always loved holding hands. Still do, but lately it’s mostly with a dear friend who’s a little unsteady on her feet, not a significant other! God’s hands are awesome and I am so aware of them and of His love sustaining me.
Thank you, Margaret! There are so many ways we can hold hands, including to help and support others. It’s such a gift to be aware of God’s hands in our lives.
My hubby and I hold hands all the time, in church, walking, sometimes even to go to sleep.
Aww, I love it! There’s never a bad time to hold hands!
My wife and I hold hands all the time. If we are out walking somewhere, it’s hand in hand. If I’m driving and traffic is light and the road is good, one hand is hers to hold. Not only do we enjoy the closeness but we have also found that it is a testimony to others that love does not need to fade or be hidden.
We may have some gray hairs and creaky joints but the hands still work just fine!
I’ve never thought of it as a testimony to others, but what a beautiful way to look at it! I’ll think of that whenever my husband and I are holding hands now. :)
Holding hands is a very loving moment. And in this age of Covid, it’s a treasure to hold a loved one’s hand.
I have a similar wedding photo.
So true! It feels like Covid has taken away so many of the things people can do to express closeness, so the opportunity to hold a loved one’s hand is precious!
Beautiful post! We just came back from a walk with my hubby – we always hold hands :) there’s something intimate about it, don’t you think?
Thanks, Natalya! I agree that there’s something intimate about holding hands. My husband and I always hold hands on our walks too (unless our youngest comes along and sneaks between us, lol).
Beautiful blog, Valerie Bodden. I love holding hands, and especially now with our grandchildren. Our little ones seem so proud to be walking along a trail or in our driveway holding our hands – so, very, very precious. And yes, my hubby often wakes up in the night and reaches for my hand. He can sleep holding hands and all snuggled up – me, not so much!