I saw a post of Facebook a few months back. I don’t remember the exact words, but it said something like, “I don’t need to be attractive. I will seduce you with my awkwardness.”
It made me laugh, especially since it was on a relative’s profile. Not just her wall, either. It was her cover photo.
I got to thinking. How did I win my husband?
Thankfully, God did all the heavy lifting in that one. Otherwise, I’d probably still be single. I smiled and didn’t make fun of him. That sums up my seductive instincts. I may have laughed at some of his jokes, too. (In my defense, he tells me that my smile is the first thing that attracted him to me.)
We’ve been married almost twenty years now, and I’ve gotten better at the art of seduction. Marriage has a way of working out the kinks.
How much better remains to be seen…
My husband was taking his vitamins the other day, and he made a choking sound.
I, of course, being the dutiful and loving wife, asked if everything was okay.
His answer? “I hate it when that happens.”
That wasn’t really an answer, was it? Understandably, I had to ask a follow-up question. “When you think you’ve swallowed a vitamin only to realize it was alligator poo?”
He skillfully answered the question he thought I’d asked. “When one of the big ones goes down sideways.”
Three minutes later, as he was fiddling with the DVD player, my husband turned around to look at me. “Hey, wait a minute…”
“Took you long enough.”
“Where do you come up with that stuff?”
(You’d think he’d know better than to ask after all these years.) “The mind of a writer is a scary place indeed.”
See? Alligator poo. It doesn’t get any more romantic than that. I am truly a master seductress. At least when it comes to seducing with awkwardness and references to fecal matter.
It seems that God is still doing all the heavy lifting. For which I’m thankful. As I’ve established, left to my own devices, I don’t stand much of a chance. Although I am really good at giving myself plenty of writing material. ;)
What about you? Have you ever said or done anything completely awkward that another person found entirely loveable? Tell me about it!