A few days ago my husband, Noel, and I were sitting with our two sons and their wives, reminiscing on our dating days over thirty years ago. Those were the days before cellphones and emails—a time when people still communicated with each other using the written word. ON PAPER!
I’ll never forget the first letter I found in the mailbox of my parent’s home. Noel was at college in the big city of Johannesburg, and I was living and working in our small home town a six-hour drive away. I’d opened the mailbox, peeked inside, and retrieved the contents. Seeing the envelope with Noel’s handwriting, I ran down the driveway, screaming. Well, my poor father flew out the front door, short of having a heart attack, to see what all the commotion was about. Let’s just say that I was a whole lot quieter when the next letter arrived—I wanted to keep my daddy around for a lot longer.
Noel shared the story with our boys of the day my first letter arrived in Johannesburg. I thought it would be a good idea to spray the paper with my perfume, after all, smell is the sense most linked to memory—and I wanted him to remember me. The scent wafted all the way up from the letter boxes at his dormitory to his dorm room … a long way away.
The next thing I knew, Noel had retrieved our special box from the garage, and we were rummaging through handfuls of old love-letters. Our adult children were intrigued by the fact that we bought cards with almost every mailing and tucked our letters inside. They were equally fascinated by the way I started my letters in a fancy cartwheel type design.
Those were the days! I think today’s generation loses out on so much with instant messaging and social media. There was nothing like that anticipation of waiting for a letter from my love, then sprawling across my bed, pen and paper in hand, to answer. I’m so glad that one day when I’m old and gray, I have a box of memories waiting for me to sit down and read, and remember.
When my son, Kyle, was dating his wife, Tiia, he was in South Africa while she was in Finland. Talk about a long distance relationship! Anyway, they started a love diary where one would write to the other in a special book Kyle had made. They would then package it and post it, all the way to the other side of the world. The action would then be repeated.
Another great thing Kyle did was to write and illustrate a storybook for Tiia that depicted their love story. He titled it Salt & Pepper for two reasons. They had met on missionary training, but only started dating months after they’d left. On training they had something called Social Policy, which was the organization’s strict rules about dating (or rather non-dating). Even a girl talking with a boy wasn’t allowed unless there was another girl in your company. Salt and pepper (SP) came to be the trainees’ fun way of referring to Social Policy (SP). The second reason he called the book Salt & Pepper was because Kyle is dark-haired (pepper) and Tiia, being a Finn, is blond. You’ll see this in the photo below where Kyle and Tiia are playing around with salt and pepper sachets on training, long before they were even attracted to one another.
They will have some great reading and memories for their golden years, too.
Next time I’ll share their Salt & Pepper story with you … it’s really cute. Thank you, Kyle, for giving me permission to do so.
What about you? Do you have a box of special memories from your dating days?
USA Today bestselling author, MARION UECKERMANN’s passion for writing was sparked when she moved to Ireland with her family. Her love of travel has influenced her contemporary inspirational romances set in novel places. Marion and her husband again live in South Africa and are setting their sights on retirement when they can join their family in the beautiful Cape.
What an adorable photo of your son and his wife, Marion. Yes, we have a box of cards and letters from our dating days. Even today, we leave little notes around the house expressing our gratitude for the little things we do for one another. I’m not a texter, in fact, I still have a flip phone…you can’t save a text in a special box.
My hubby and I were right on the edge of the changes in technology, we had email at college, but it still took a day or two (faster than the mail, but not by as much) and we could log into the server at school and use the “talk” program to chat (like IM) because we were computer majors. But we also have letters that I’ve stored away in a tin. And a little fairy tale that we write together (each episode was the other person’s turn) over the summer and mailed the installments. In fact, the last installment is what he read to me when he proposed, and he tied it all together. It’s pretty special.
I loved your story. I have a few cards tucked away in a box of all kinds of memories. My hubby and I met after we both had graduated from college. We lived in the same apartment complex when we met, so there was no need to write letters.
My husband and I only have a few cards and letters, because we are from the e-mail era. I did spend a summer in Europe though where I didn’t always have access to phone or e-mail and he kept a notebook for me of that summer. In the year before we were married I kept a prayer journal for him.
Having letters are a priceless treasure definitely. We have the letters my great-grandparents wrote to each other in the late 1910’s. They lived on opposite sides of the same square mile section, but weren’t supposed to be in contact because her mom didn’t like his family because they were poor. Those letters are especially precious because my great grandma died when my grandpa was 5 (about 1926). So while my mom knew her grandpa (who lived until the 70’s) she didn’t know much about her grandma.
Yes, I have boxes of special memorabilia from our dating days. We have been married for almost 37 years(March 3rd) and we love looking through those boxes. My, my, we have definitely matured, but, the love and cuteness from back then is priceless.
We were both doing shift work, he in the post office, me in the hospital, so we were both half asleep most of the time :-)! We don’t have cards or letters from that time, but we have saved cards from 35 years of marriage. It’s fun to look at those some times, as pictures from our dating times.
So true, Jill … and phones get stolen, or crash, and then all is lost. Sometimes hubby will put a love note in my lunch tin :)
That’s so cute, Elizabeth, and how special :)
My husband was in the air force when we were courting, and stationed far enough away that most of our courtship was via letters. I had a locking box for them, which my younger sister managed to get into anyway… We learned early on to number our letters to each other, because the military mail service didn’t always work smoothly. I’d get letter #10 a few days before #8, and so on :-)
We long-distance-dated long before email, too, but my husband is dyslexic, so letters weren’t sent (from him) that often. He preferred the phone… but that was also before cell phones and cheap long distance calling. It was expensive to date that way!
Yes, we each have a shoe boxed filled with our letters we wrote to each other when we lived far apart! I’ve kept each card, little love note or what not over the years as well. I love both giving and receiving notes from my husband….often left in my Bible so I’ll see it first thing in the morning as I have my coffee and read my devotions for the day! I want my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to be able to read these when we’re gone :-) Just as I was able to with my grandma’s letters. Since my grandpa was in WW2, they wrote many letters back and forth, he also sent pictures to her while overseas. What a legacy!!
I agree with you, kids today have no idea how special the written word can be….a very sad state if you ask me! They are practically eliminating writing in schools and replacing it with iPads or computers in English classes. Research is no longer done in the library, but online. I remember having to spend hours in the school library to do research for an essay assignment. I think it hurts our kids more than helps them, but that’s just my opinion :-)
Now you got me wanting to go through my boxes of memories and pictures to reminisce!
Marion, lovely post :) Thanks for sharing your story. My husband and I lived close by, so we didn’t have a need to write letters. The art of letter writing is dying, and my kids rarely use pen and paper at school.
We passed notes in junior high but by the time high school rolled around everyone was getting email accounts. My husband and I flirted on Messenger (usually in a group chat with several other friends) during college and even used video chat once we started dating (made us feel very fancy schmancy at the time). I personally love the fact that my hubby can drop me a little love text at any moment :)
Lovely post Marion ……… I have absolutely no boxes or love letters from my first marriage and I think you will know why sis! But reading all these comments did take me back to when times were good, and yes the excitement and anticipation of waiting for that letter, brings back long forgotten memories. Kids of today have no idea what they missed – sad… technology has taken over. I write so bad, that at times I cannot even read my own handwriting!
LOL, yes Merrillee … writing to someone who practically lives next door does seem unnecessary, but I am glad you do have some special cards tucked away in that memory box :)
I loved the story of your grandparents, Katy. Great story prompt :) Amazing to have those old letters. I have a Scrapbook/album from my husband’s side of the family that’s at least 80 years old. There are old photos, letters, newspaper articles .. all sorts inside. I know I’m going to get a great story out of that some day.
Awesome, Melissa. Boxes full? Well done. BTW, happy anniversary for 3 March :)
Cards are great memorabilia. I have very few photos from dating days … pity. Guess that’s one benefit of dating in the tech-savvy era … LOTS of photos.
Oh, younger siblings. I’m sure your sister had fun with your letters, Margaret. Great plan to number the letters.
It was actually hard to date long distance in our days, Valerie. Nothing was instant. Perhaps the secret of success?
Trixi, hope you’ve managed to dive into that box of memories by now :)
Thanks, Narelle. Do you think one day love letters will cease to exist? Will children no longer sit in circles chanting “I wrote a letter to my love and on the way I dropped it” because they won’t know what they’re talking about?
Technology is great, Beth, for the instant moments. If there was only an easy way to secure the future of those electronic love letters (and I’m sure there is, but equally sure nobody really does anything about it).
I guess kids today wouldn’t want to be bothered with the antiquated method of letter writing, Lyds. Pity. Yes, they do miss out on a lot of romance, I think :)