by: Staci Stallings
Recently I was talking with some writer friends who are working on marketing their books. Now stay with me because this isn’t about writing.
The conversation turned to sales and how many sales people had or didn’t have for that month. I had been having some success in that area and mapped out the trajectory of my sales for the last few months. One writer piped up and said, “I’ll be happy when I sell 100.” Another joined in, “Well, I’ll be happy when I sell enough to get a check.” (Which is about 10.)
Ironically, I had just sold about 10 times that 100, and I could see the fallacy of “I’ll be happy when…” in bright, shining colors before me. Why? Because I had sold all these books, and in reality, life hadn’t changed all that much.
I still had (and have) laundry in the utility room to do and dishes in the sink and the living room needs vacuumed and dusted. I need to get the oil changed in the van and the registration paid at my son’s school. We’ve got to find time to memorize his multiplication tables, and I need to get the bills paid. Oh, and my shower needs cleaned really badly, and I have several posts to put up on the blogs.
I would love to get some time to work on my new story, and I need to write the VBS plays. The garage needs swept, and the clothes need taken to the homeless shelter. I’ve got suitcases from our last visit home to clean out and all of those clothes to run through the washer. Oh, and Sunday School is coming up again, and I need to practice for that. There’s a gift certificate I need to get for a friend who did me a big favor, and trash to take out. At some point I would love to get some exercising in, and the bushes out front really need trimmed before they completely take over.
In short, I’ve sold all these books–more than I could have dreamed or hoped for last year–and life is still life!
It was quite funny the day in February that one of my books was climbing the charts on Amazon, going all the way up to #11 in the Free Store for the first time. I was watching the downloads, amazed. At noon I went into the kitchen to eat and found several stacks of dirty dishes waiting for either the dishes-fairy or me to do them. My husband happened to be home for lunch that day, and he said, “So how does it feel to be famous?”
I laughed as I started digging dishes out of the sink and said, “About the same as it felt to be not famous.”
See, I think that’s something we all get wrong in this life. We think that something “out there”–a certain number of sales, getting that diploma, paying off this or buying that–is going to change everything and suddenly then we’ll be happy.
It doesn’t work like that.
In fact, a few years ago I was talking with a friend of mine who at the time was living paycheck-to-paycheck, and I told her that having money in the bank was not going to make her happy if she wasn’t happy now. She scoffed that I just didn’t understand.
Well, guess what? She got a contract, sold some books, got on a little better financial footing, and now has money in the bank. The other day we were talking, and she said, “You know how you told me I could have money in the bank and that wouldn’t solve everything?” “Yeah.” “You were right. I have money now, and I still don’t feel good about myself. In fact, everything I’ve prayed for over the last five years, I have now, and it hasn’t changed anything. I’m beginning to think it’s not about that stuff after all.”
What a concept! She’s right… it’s not about all of that stuff. It’s about YOU. It’s about learning that God loves you and accepts you right where you are. In debt, overweight, overworked, sales, no sales, famous or not. When you begin to understand that and ask Him to help you to be happy now, when those other things show up, they are nice gravy to the situation. But it’s ALWAYS about the Giver, not the gift. It’s ALWAYS about the Blesser, not the blessing.
So if you’re stuck in “I’ll be happy when…,” may I suggest you try “God, help me to be happy and joyful right now because You love me just the way I am.” Then put all of those “when” things in His hands and let Him work them out as you willingly follow what He tells you to do.
It will make all the difference in the world!
~*~*~
Staci Stallings, the author of this article, is a #1 Best Selling Contemporary Christian author and the founder of Grace & Faith Author Connection and co-founder of CrossReads. You can check out one of Staci’s Best-Selling Christian Romances…
To Protect & Serve
~ The Courage Series~
Book 1
“Courage, love, and sacrifice…”
“Prepare to cry, laugh, wish, love and maybe even cry again as you become enveloped in the hopes and feelings of Lisa and Jeff.”
-Amazon Reviewer, Cindy
To save others’ lives, they will risk their own…
Free on Amazon!
Get it here: http://amzn.to/1PSVpI2
A stay-at-home mom with a husband, three kids and a writing addiction on the side, Staci Stallings has numerous titles for readers to choose from. Not content to stay in one genre and write it to death, Staci’s stories run the gamut from young adult to adult, from motivational and inspirational to full-out Christian and back again. Every title is a new adventure! That’s what keeps Staci writing and you reading. Although she lives in Amarillo, Texas and her main career right now is her family, Staci touches the lives of people across the globe with her various Internet and writing endeavors.
I loved this blog post and agree that we can’t do anything on our own.
Thank you Staci! Your post speaks to my life right now. I won’t be happy when my business takes off, or my husband gets a job, or I have a baby, unless I’m rejoicing in where God has me today.
Great truth, Staci! Although, I have to admit I was pretty tickled when my book rose above the top five, then to # one for a short time in free Kindle for the Christian Women’s Fiction category on Amazon.
But what you said is true. That kind of happiness is only temporary.
Staci, thanks so much for those great words. We often get stuck in the, “if only” times in our lives and you brought the focus all back where it needed to be! Thanks……great way to start my week!
So true, Staci. If we work on the inside, getting right with God, the rest falls into place–or if it doesn’t, that’s okay too.
Great article! Your perspective was honest and I have to remind myself I can’t let the “if only’s” dictate my life.
Thank You!
So true, Staci. It’s our heart attitude that makes all the difference. A grateful spirit, especially for Jesus’ sacrifice, goes a long, long way to peace inside and deep joy.
Staci…your words are so true. Since I am one month away from my 65th birthday I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I try my best to live in the now and not to let things say and make me feel who I am. Guess this comes from life lessons over all of these years. Wish I knew way back when what I know now. Take one day at a time and live in the now. Don’t let things and goals reflect on your feelings. Be happy in the now!
Beautiful! I just saw 90 Minutes in Heaven this weekend (great movie, but if you get queasy easily, it might not be for you), and one thing that was said multiple times kept resonating with me: It’s not about me.
And that’s so true. It’s not about me, my stuff, or the million things on my plate. It’s all about God and how He’s moving in my life and in those around me. It’s all about Him. Simple as that.
Blessings,
Andrea
Sadly, most people are like your friend and won’t believe this message when they hear it. Seems we all have to learn it the hard way! You stated it perfectly here and I hope your message goes viral and all those exceptions to the ‘hard way’ rule receive it in their mailbox. Great post!
I’m entering a period of transition that is frightening to me. I’ve heard this message several times in the past few days. I think God is trying to get my attention, to live for the day, be happy today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Thanks, Staci, for a great post!
I like this. Such a valuable lesson. Stuff doesn’t make you happy, you do.
This touched my heart. My mom has a subdural hematoma that is not healing. She was recently deemed incompetent. This is hard and I was thinking I’d be happy when she’s back to normal, which may never happen. We are both Christians, so I know that if she never improves in this life, she will sometime soon.
Thank you Staci. This was a message my heart needed to hear today.
Hi Staci!
Wasn’t it Paul who said that he was content in all aspects of his life……Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” It is a hard life lesson to learn, I know, I’ve been there & done that! But I’m also learning the same lesson Paul did….to be content in whatever state I am. Because I know God has me in His hand, giving me what I need for when I need it…or sustaining me in lean times too! I trust Him to provide any and all things in my life. And I’m also learning to like who I am, so therefore being more content in myself too. I think it’s more than material things that we need to learn that lesson as well. :-)
So my “someday when” may never be….but it’s okay, it’s God’s “someday now” that I have to rest in :-)
I try to find something to Rejoice in everyday! I do enjoy your books Staci!
Exactly! Rejoice now! When the other things happen, you can feel free to rejoice AGAIN!
Oh, so true, Kimberly! It’s fun, but it is temporary. If you’re living for the temporary “bursts,” you’re going to get burned out either waiting or working pretty fast!
Some things in life are just so difficult, you don’t think you’ll ever recover. One of them is watching a loved one suffering. Learning to “be happy” now and use this time to love them as much as possible is one of the best ways I know to live so you have no regrets. Sometimes we don’t get a tomorrow. It is only when we begin to live TODAY for all it has to teach us that we truly start living.
I’m so glad God used me to get this message to you!
so very true!!!
Thanks D K!
Doing things “on your own” is a ticket to a lot of heartache! God bless you!
“If only” and “when” keep us from acting RIGHT NOW, and ultimately, right now is the only power we have.
God’s will… seek that… whether your agenda or plans go the way you want or not. Trust that He knows what He’s doing even when you don’t understand.
“If Only” one of the greatest lies of Satan ever used to keep you from doing anything to improve the situation!
Every day we have the option. The question is which do you choose.
So true!
Never get too busy that God can’t work in your life. That’s a lie Satan uses to get well-meaning people focused on things that are not God’s Kingdom!
Each learns the way they will most hear. God is smart that way.
Been there! Visit frequently. I don’t always like where God leads me, but looking back, it’s always been where I most needed to be!
God does. Start there, everything else will follow!