I’ve just put the final polishing touches on A Reason to Stay, Book Five in my Rocky Mountain Family series out August 23, 2022. Finishing the book always brings smiles, tears, a sense of relief and a tinge of grief, knowing I’ll have to “break up” with these characters in order to move on to my next book.
Now that I’m starting the character and plot prep work for Book Six, the final book in this series, I’m once again facing Imposter Syndrome. Who am I to think I can actually go from the first sentence on page one to The End, 55K words later? Though I’ve done it over 50 times before, I’m terrified I can’t do it again. I’m not an author. I’m a fraud. How long will it take before someone figures me out? Looking at the mountain from this angle, it appears unscalable.
Impostor syndrome (IS) refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. It happens more often among women and perfectionists. That would be me, and me. In researching for this blog post, I found some really interesting information including TED Talks on how to overcome IS, including reframing my thoughts from negative to positive and, like professional athletes, visualizing the process of success for whatever I’m doing. I’m not talking about anything jinky here. I do this during my prayer time, talking to God about my goals and listening for His still, small voice. Did you know your body can’t tell the difference between excitement and fear? That works for me. So next time you’re at the bottom of what looks like an unscalable mountain, tell yourself how excited you are to climb it!
Do you ever suffer from Imposter Syndrome? Share below and one commenter will receive a $10 Amazon card!
Catch up with the Winslows in my Rocky Mountain Family series here:
~~Love Courageously~~ Publisher's Weekly Bestselling, award-winning author of 30 novels, Deb Kastner enjoys writing contemporary inspirational western stories set in small communities. She feels especially blessed to be able to include faith as a natural and genuine part of her characters' lives. Deb lives in beautiful Colorado with her husband and a pack of miscreant mutts. She is blessed with three adult daughters and two grandchildren. Her favorite hobby is spoiling her grandchildren, but she also enjoys reading, watching movies, listening to music (The Texas Tenors are her fav), singing in the church choir, and exploring the Rocky Mountains on horseback.
Yes, I have dealt with Imposter Syndrome, especially in work situations. I was in a position where I was expected to know far more about computer technology than I actually knew.
Happy Saturday Deb! This retiree believes if we are honest with ourselves, we all have had imposter syndrome at various times in our lives. Starting a new job. As a newly wed, a young mom, mom of teens, and even navigating retirement. During my 30 years as pastor’s wife, there were occasions, especially when hubby pastored a new church. Then as a teacher, especially when I was teaching at the community college, after spend six years teaching elementary school I felt like an imposter. On the outside I looked fine and because of my prep work and notes, I pulled off a good “show,” while literally shaking in my shoes after a sleepless night. I still remember before the first day of school and meeting five classes of new students, I spent all night teaching in my dreams. Enjoy your weekend. The winds are howling this morning in SW Michigan. May need to crank up some toe tapping Texas Tenors music. Brrrrrr!
Parenting is an interesting thing. We only see glimpses of how our friends/fellow parents interact with their children (at church, during play dates, when picking them up from school).
I remember having a conversation with a fellow mom at church years ago with kids similar in age to my kids. I mentioned how I would sometimes get so mad in the church parking lot and say to my toddler & preschool-aged sons, “Hurry up! We’re late for church!” And then I’d cautiously look around to see if others heard my tone of voice. 😬
She thought I was always patient with my sons, which was definitely not true, & said she felt better knowing I also got frustrated with them. I also thought she was always patient with her 2 kids (from my limited perspective), which she told me also wasn’t true. It helped us share in the struggles of motherhood & know that we’re not alone. 💕
Yes, I suffer from IS. And I’m a perfectionist too.
Ironically, even though I have Imposter Syndrome, the absolutely worse thing you can call me is incompetent. Any derogatory word or curse does not bother me but incompetent will get me very angry
Oh, yes, I can relate! There were times when I was growing up that I felt like I was totally inferior to others, and then in the work place, I sometimes felt the same way. I finally learned that I’m not, and when I feel disconcerted now, I just pray about things and know that I’m fine, it’s my perception that needs to change!
I think everyone at some point has felt like they suffered from IS so yes, I have.
Hi Deb,
Yes, I’m currently experiencing IS as I tackle rewrites of one of my chapters and face edits for the following others. Thank the Lord that we don’t have to do/face any of this on our own, and can actually come to Him and seek His strength.
PS: You’ve got this. ;)
I feel like that at certain times too, especially if I’m given a job where I feel like I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.
I’m not sure I I have suffered from it or not.
Yes, I have Imposter Syndrome. I just have to remind myself that I can do or learn this one step at a time and the Lord is always with there to help me.
I know I have experienced it. Everyone seems to muddle through life with God’s Grace.
Welcome today. Thank you for willing to be vulnerable. Yes I definitely have my times. I do both quilting and making greeting cards. For years that perfectionist part of me would not let me give away a piece that was not perfect. Talk about putting pressure on myself. When our son was in high school, he finally said to me “mom perfectionism is Gods department not yours” wow out of the mouths of babes. Really made me stop and think. I really dont want this department of His. So now, even though I am still a bit of a perfectionist, I try to remind myself that this is Gods department not mine. And now I make small imperfections that still look good or are just there and let God be in control. No one has said anything about things not being perfect. Thank you Lord for such a wise young man in my life
Oh yes, I’ve definitely had times where I’ve had imposter syndrome, and I’m sure I’ll have it again.
Fake it till you make it, right Jeanna? When I was a manager at Walmart many years ago, I got thrown in the deep end with no knowledge of what I was supposed to be doing. Learned on the run.
Get that Boot Daddy by The Texas Tenors cranking and it’ll warm you up in no time at all. LOL I love all of your examples. I didn’t even think about my home life, but what you said is SO true! Navigating life with a spouse, then children, then grandchildren, has been a blessed but crazy experience.
Isn’t it funny how we see other people through rose-colored lenses when often they struggle with the same things we do?
Being a perfectionist just makes things more complicated. Do it right or not at all does NOT help when we’re facing that mountain.
I think no matter how much you may struggle with IS, you know deep down that you have what it takes. Otherwise none of us would ever get anywhere. So calling you incompetent would no doubt sting!
What a lovely point! When we look at ourselves through God’s eyes it’s a whole different perspective. He made us. We are His creations. So how can we be imposters?
You’re probably right, Lori, although again from my admittedly warped perspective, I see others doing better than I do.
Rewrites are one of the times I doubt myself most, especially if they are editor revisions. Thanks for the vote of confidence, and back atcha!!
I agree it’s especially tough when we have to fudge through work because we don’t know what we’re doing.
Awesome! It sounds like you may be one who has confidence in yourself. Way to go!
One step at a time is a great reminder. I’m looking at the whole mountain when I should only be looking right in front of me. I’m so thankful the Lord is by my side to guide me.
More so some times than others. Muddling through is a good way to put it. Sometimes I just have to put my head down and charge through my doubts.
What amazing wisdom from this young man. I will have to remember that advice. You truly are blessed with your son!
Since I write book after book, it’s like a roller coaster for me. I just finished a book and crested the top. Yay! But now I’m down at the bottom of the mountain again, and looking up, I always get scared again.
I have experienced it! So thankful for Gods grace!
I definitely struggle with imposter syndrome! I’m also a bit of a perfectionist and a first rate over thinker too, which doesn’t help!
Amen to that! I don’t know where I’d be without God’s grace.
Ah, overthinking. I’m right with you there. If I could just calm my brain down I’d do much better.
Often! Parenting, working, wife-ing, friend-ing. Thanks to God we will one day be in His glorious perfect presence! Keep writing, I often marvel at how maybe even just one sentence or thought (or more!) from a LINS or other Christian fiction book sets me thinking and encourages me.
Yes, quite often, in fact! I’m not a writer, but there are other areas I feel like an imposter. I’m right up there with Caitlyn Santi, too–perfectionist and overthinker. My husband is just the opposite. You’d think after 53 years, some of that would rub off on me, but, so far, it hasn’t, so I think I’m doomed! LOL
Yes. I feel that way every time I make a decision for my parents. They are both in their 80’s. I have become my parent’s parent. I do not feel qualified for this position at all. I question if I am making the right decision every time. I can understand. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Yes and I’m a perfectionist also. I’m my worst critic.
I actually find that the opposite is true. People tend to underestimate me.
Hi, yes, I have gone through that. But got to take it one day at a time. Have a great weekend and stay safe.
What a glorious day that will be!
Perfectionism and overthinking seem to go together for a lot of people. My husband is chill, as well, but it hasn’t rubbed off on me!
Caregiving can be very stressful. Many blessings as you weave that often winding road for your parents!
I wish I could turn off that critical voice in my head. It’s tough to get around it.
Good for you! I love your self-confidence!
One day at a time, indeed. Putting that first step up the mountain is often the hardest.
I spent 3 years in an imposter syndrome situation. I pretended to be i love to get some thing I wanted, or so I thought. The relationship was stale before it really began ad the feeling of boredom was commonplace between us. I struggled with my insincerity to him but could not see a way out and had no desire to have to live on my own , make my own meals, or be alone.
Yes, I have had cases of IS, particularly in college and my early working years. I didn’t know there was a name for it.
Yes, all the time! :-)
No, I haven’t dealt with imposter syndrome yet. But you never know when it can happen.
Yes, I have dealt with it just in training for a job & decided to not going through the rest of the training due to it.
I’m in the process of changing jobs…definitely familiar with the syndrome – just haven’t realized that this is the name for it LOL
To be honest? All my life I thought it was normal not to feel as smart as everyone says I am, I have good academic performance but all my life I have had the idea that it is just luck because the teachers are nice or the test was simple but that without a doubt I will fail if the next one is more difficult.
It has helped me to learn to think that after all God is the one who gave me my talents and that I am his daughter and I am in his care, so every time I feel I am not really that capable as everyone believes I think it’s okay…if I’m successful academically or at work it’s because God wants it that way, it’s okay if I feel like I don’t deserve it or that I can’t do it alone because it’s true we don’t deserve our blessings and we can’t do anything without it.
I’ll probably never feel as smart or competent as a lot of people think I am but it’s not that bad I guess it helps keep me humble?
But this really makes me understand how much I need to marry a Christian man, a person who loves and admires me but knows that I have flaws and prays for me, instead of trying to convince me that I am super fabulous, smart and cool and that I should feeling like this with myself… that makes me tense and afraid of disappointing that person when they realize that I’m not perfect.
Hi Deb, I don’t suffer from IS but now you mention it I wonder if my husband does. Sadly he didn’t have a good childhood and it impacts him in subtle ways. He often feels like his is not doing a job in his work even when he gets given prise he stills this he is not doing a good enough job. Makes me sad as he is amazing at his job and in general.
I can only keep praying for a breakthrough.
Have a blessed week.
Hi, Deb. I get impostor syndrome too, very often and have to pray myself out of that negative spiral of thoughts.
Very interesting. I was once told keep saying something positive and our subconscious will believe it as it can’t tell the difference as to whether we mean it or not. Maybe this is the basis of fake it till you make it. I think faith underpins everything and with faith we create a buffer which can leave less room for doubt and IS. Thanks for the post.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever experienced anything quite like that, but I know there are a lot of voices yelling at me that it’s not even worth trying because I’ll never make it anyway. I most recently shut those voices up when I made the life altering decision to have gastric bypass surgery. In the last 2 years I’ve lost 130 pounds (and counting) and I feel like a new person. So they can just shut it…for both of us!
Yes I have and I always keep praying to get myself back on track!
I not sure if I ever experienced anything like that. I know that I have dealt with self esteem issues, depression and anxiety issues.
That blank page—intimidating for sure. :) I do love LI series books, getting to know the characters and families.
I don’t think I’ve dealt with IS, but I’m not at all a perfectionist so perhaps that’s why? Not being a perfectionist is helpful in some ways, but also can be a hinderance at times. I guess like most things, there are positives and negatives in play at the same time.
I’m loving this series.Thanks for the great stories and characters. Keep up the great work.
Imposter Syndrome has been striking hard for me lately as I am in the process of finishing my second book but I had to take a break so getting back into writing has been hard!
nope