I have a confession to make…
While I write romance, my dear husband and I are probably the least romantic couple on the planet! Valentine’s Day is usually a blip on the calendar. We might go out to eat, but never on the holiday. Who wants to face those crowds and long lines? When my husband reads my books, he’ll often stare at me and ask, where do these ideas come from? I just shrug.
But…
Maybe our marriage isn’t one of flowers, chocolate, romantic evenings out, mystery dates, or vacations to secluded islands, all those romantic elements that make readers swoon—to be honest, those things just aren’t us—rather we have our own ideas of what’s romantic. Here are some of our favorites:
- Watching the sunrise over Lake Superior. Neither of us are morning people, but when visiting the North Shore of Lake Superior, one of the highlights is getting up early to watch the sunrise. Every day God paints a brand new picture, a gift just for us! And to watch God’s paintbrush in action, alongside my husband of thirty years, is a gift!
- Taking in a Minnesota Twins baseball game. One of the things that brought us together 30+ years ago was our love for the game of baseball. The year we got married, our beloved Twins won the World Series, and we had tickets to the games! So for us, baseball and romance will forever be linked together.
- Spending quiet time at home, just the two of us. This still doesn’t happen very often, so when it does, we are very appreciative! Our idea of romance on those quiet evenings might just be watching a movie together—probably a Marvel movie!—but that’s us.
- Going to Disney World! Other couples want to go to France or Hawaii or a Caribbean Island, but we’re in love with Disney World. The place is magical and fun and happy and we never tire of it. For our 25th Anniversary, we were fortunate to get a room at Animal Kingdom Lodge where exotic animals were just beyond our patio! Trips to Disney are a rare occurrence–we’re planning a family trip for 2020!–so when we do go, it’s always special.
- And I’d be remiss if I left out one of my husband’s most romantic gestures ever. He comes from a family who hates cats, but I grew up on a farm where we were surrounded with cats, and I loved them all. Early in our marriage, he took me on a mystery date that ended up at the Humane Society where he told me to pick out a kitty. Pepper ended up picking us out. She was this teeny-tiny tortoiseshell-colored kitten, all alone in a cage, who meowed as I walked past. If she hadn’t meowed, I never would have noticed her. So, I took her out of her cage, and she curled up in my hand as if she belonged there, and she fit perfectly! Pepper was with us for fourteen years, reminding me every day of his gift. Now we have a calico named Kisses, who we chose from the Humane Society the day after our anniversary. :)
What are your most memorable romantic moments?
Romantic reads perfect for Valentine’s Day!
https://www.amazon.com/Where-Heart-3-Book/dp/B076WYQY3V/
Brenda S. Anderson writes gritty and authentic, life-affirming fiction. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), and is Past-President of the ACFW Minnesota chapter, MN-NICE, the 2016 Chapter of the Year. When not reading or writing, she enjoys music, theater, roller coasters, and baseball, and she loves watching movies with her family. She lives in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area with her husband of 30 years, their three children, and one sassy cat. Readers can learn more about Brenda S. Anderson at www.brendaandersonbooks.com
My boyfriend (husband to be) cycles home from college on Valentine’s Day. He only had 23p so asked a florist which flower he could buy. My pink carnation was all the more precious as he’d spent his last few pennies on it!
HI Brenda, you guys sound like my husband and I- not really into Valentine’s Day or other ‘typical’ romance stuff. My favourite and most romantic memories are hikes we have done (one particular one down to the Blue Gum Forest in the Blue Mountains stands out), trips to a quiet beach, rock climbs, even visits to a local cafe or quiet evenings watching a movie. Occasionally he will buy me flowers- I do love getting flowers from him, but just as often, he will buy a potted orchid, or other plant for the garden. I think romance is all about knowing the person it is for and tailoring it for them.
Blessings:)
Hi Brenda from one Midwesterner to another. Hope you are keeping warm. For Valentine’s Day hubby and I exchange cards. I prefer to receive flowers throughout the year, rather than a dozen for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day or my anniversary. Romantic moments include dinner at our favorite restaurants, road trips, museum visits, and concerts. Our February outing will be to see River Dance at our local theater. Weather permitting we enjoy walks along Lake Michigan, especially in spring and fall – not during tourist season.
Brenda, I love that you & your husband speak the “same love language” to each other, which is different for each couple. My first date with my husband alone, was to the KC Chiefs game, where we sat huddled under the same blanket and drinking hot chocolate. (Back then we could bring our thermos into the stadium.) Some of my most memorable romantic moments are when my hubby takes the time to pray with me. That’s when we feel closest, and I can see into his heart.
Brenda, I think those are all sweet things to do together and that they ARE romantic! My husband and I tend to be more practical as well. Although, he does buy me flowers sometimes. :)
We’re not really the typical diamonds and roses type either. But he puts up with my goats and sheep and goes out of his way to make sure I’m happy on our little ranch. I’d rather wear silver and turquoise :)
Happy Valentines. your valentines sounds similar to mine. my husband is a romantic when it comes to movies. he loves to watch chick movies with me. but when it comes to “romantic gestures” not so much. but I have learned over the years that his idea of being romantic is so practical that I truly do love it. like washing dishes when I cant get to them, taking out the trash, helping when I need it, etc. now that we are empty nesters, he does like to take me out to dinner or to the movies (and I get to choose the movie) etc. we like to sit at talk about how God is working in our life and where is He taking us now. our relationship is so much deeper after 34 years, I would never have imagined. I am so grateful to God for bringing this quiet, strong man into my life as my partner.
Oh, now that’s romantic, Shona! Love it! Sounds like you have a winner. :) Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Wemble, I completely agree with your comment, “…romance is all about knowing the person it is for and tailoring it for them.” That’s love, when you know them enough to speak their romance language.
Oh how fun to see River Dance! I’ve always wanted to catch one of their shows! Walks along Lake Michigan sound divine and very romantic.
We’re getting warmer–I think! It’s been quite the chilly winter, even for Minnesota! :)
Love your first date. :)
And there really isn’t anything more beautiful than a husband who prays with his wife. <3
There’s nothing wrong with practical, right? :) And yes, to us those moments are very romantic because they speak of how well we know each other.
Since I’m a cat lover too, I love the fact that your husband let you pick out a kitty on a mystery date!! My husband and I usually make cards for each other on the computer, but that’s about it. I send out valentines – to my aunts, cousins, nieces, etc :-)
Working together on a ranch is a lot of work! But so satisfying, isn’t it? (Oh, and I love turquoise!)
You and your husband sound a lot like my husband and I. I’m glad we’re not alone. I usually say my husband is the least romantic man. :) We are debating Disney World for our 30 anniversary in 2020. LOL Either that or Italy and Greece.
My husband is not romantic but is practical and dependable.
When we got married people were saying that it wouldn’t last. Here we are 42 years later and looking forward to what God has planned for us the next 42 years.
My husband actually enjoys chick flicks more than I do, especially the Hallmark romances. :) I love those everyday gestures of washing dishes, taking out trash — that to me is romance! Sounds like you have a winner, Lori!
I love that your husband takes the time to make you a card. <3 And I'm certain your relatives look forward to receiving the valentine from you!
Italy, Greece, or Disney World… Any of them would be a winner to me! Have you ever been to any of those locations?
Wow! Congratulations on 42 years, Janet! I can’t think of anything more romantic than being practical and dependable! Those are rare qualities.
On our last Anniversary,our 48 th, my husband wrote me a poem. And he framed it. I asked for another copy to be framed and put on the wall over our family name plaques. The are small, wooden , and have the meaning and a Bible verse. Then another plaque with part of 1 Corinthians love chapter above that! Very special!
Aww, I love your whole list.
Oh, I love that! Now that’s something a hero in a romance novel would do. <3
Thank you, Amy! :)
Loved your post, Brenda!
Thank you! :)
My husband rarely buys me flowers. Once, when he did so, the kids asked if we were going to sell the house – the last time he’d bought flowers (for me???) it was really so the house would show well! LOL So, uh, flowers are not his love language, for sure. I sometimes buy myself a bouquet to brighten the kitchen.
Around here, it’s all about time spent together. Going for walks/hikes, getting out in nature together on a camping trip. Disney sounds like a nightmare to my introverted hubby (and not much better to me, although I went to DW once many years ago pre-marriage) and pro sports games not much better!
Time spent together is the best! Now going for walks or hiking sound wonderful, but camping? My hubby & I are both allergic–storms & tornadoes always seem to know when we’re tenting it, so we’ve given up camping for good! ;-)
My husband is probably much more romantic than I am, at least in showing it or buying romantic stuff. He’d get me a dozen long stemmed red roses and a huge box of chocolates for Valentines day if he could…lol! I freeze at the idea of what to get/ do…I’ve never been a great idea person. I’m a more practical person (ugh, that just sounds boring, lol)
But one thing we do agree on, is time spent together. No matter if it’s going to the grocery store together, or taking a drive, or even going to yard sales on weekends. As long as it’s just the two of us :-) I think if we had the time and money, we’d love to have a weekend getaway somewhere along with the romantic dinner. Making memories is more precious to us than flowers that wilt or chocolate that we really shouldn’t be eating…lol!
Brenda, your list sounds a lot of what would be on ours sans Disney World….which is on my list of things to do someday :-)
I must learn to read through what I’ve written. I meant to say husband – my then boyfriend. We’ve been married for almost 38 years now. And he bought me a lovely orchid the other day as I’ve not been well. It sits on my kitchen window sill and makes me smile every day.
You’re right about spending time together. Overall, I think that’s the common denominator for what we determine is romantic. There’s little that’s more important to a relationship than making time to spend with each other. And, as you said, those memories are far more precious than chocolate or flowers!
My husband is the more romantic one between the two of us. This year I got three B-day Carrington him!
That should have said 3 Valentine’s day cards from him.
I posted this on FB but I think it belongs here too. My husband was not a romantic man. When we were dating he told me he had a surprise for me. My co-workers were saying flowers, etc. I got a power surge for my electric cords. But every year on Valentine’s Day, he would call me or just ask me if I would be his Valentine. It was hard to not hear it this year.
Walking into the house with our song playing “When I Fall In Love” by the Lettermen and we start dancing in the living room. ?
Brenda, that all sounds perfect to me! Sometimes, the “above and beyond” can be too pretentious. My best friend, whom I dated for a time, would send me enough flowers for every room in my house on my birthday, but on Valentine’s Day, we celebrated by studying a devotion on the love of God. He has passed away and I miss him dearly, but he set the bar high.
Wishing you many baseball games and Disney trips with your love!
Wendy, my sympathies and best to you. I understand.
Many blessing!