In June, I released Book 1 of my new Matchmaking Moms of Oceanview Church series. Here’s my blog post about it to refresh your memory. Meet the Moms was a short prologue novella to introduce the matchmakers. Book 2 (Finding Love for the Loner) will release July 7.
My hope was that the short novella would pique readers’ interest in this group of covert matchmakers, determined to jumpstart their adult children’s love lives. And keep them interested enough to wait a month for the first matchmaking story to be released. So, I was thrilled when a devoted reader left this note on my Facebook author page:
“I met the moms. Now I’m ready to meet the children. Let the games begin!”
Our first match project involves Lily’s son, Winston. He’s a good guy. He’s got a steady job, owns a home, and is dog daddy to his yellow lab, Rebel. He’s got hobbies, interests, friends. He’s got a full life, right?
Not quite! According to the Matchmaking Moms, he’d be so much happier with the right woman in his life! And Winston wouldn’t necessarily disagree. It’s not that he doesn’t want a girlfriend. It’s just that he’s tried … more than once … and been rejected. Enough is enough. Is it really worth trying again if all that will result is another rejection?
So the Matchmaking Moms work their magic and suddenly there’s a woman in his life … Tina. A fellow dog lover, they bond over their canine companions. As they get to know each other better, the “opening up” starts. And the “digging beneath the surface.”
And that makes Winston nervous.
Because beyond his normal life of going to work every day and hanging with Rebel, he’s got a “secret life.” One that consumes him and has for years. One that he doesn’t openly talk about beyond his compadres. But this part of his life has filled his free hours during a time when he had an absence of love.
How can he grow close to Tina and share his life without revealing this whole other side of himself? If he did reveal it, would she accept it? Or would he have to eventually choose one over the other? And if faced with a choice, which would he choose? A healthy relationship? Or the secret past time that has been a big part of his life for years?
The corner I painted Winston into in this story reminds me of when we think we can keep a secret from God. We do something, or we think something, that isn’t pleasing to Him. We know it isn’t; we did it anyway. And we torture ourselves by trying to keep it hidden. If we don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen, right?
Wrong. God knows all our secrets, all our thoughts, but He wants us to be open to Him about them. Keeping our wrongdoings inside us causes a festering wound that only heals when we confess what we’ve done and request forgiveness.
In my search of the Bible to seek guidance on this behavior, I found these two verses helped me the most:
1 Peter 5:7: “You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern.”
1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
The next time I step into the hole (as I surely will, despite knowing it’s wrong) of doing or saying something I know is unpleasing to God, remind me to pull those two verses out and throw the whole weight of my anxieties on God, so he can cleanse me. And that’s what Winston needs to do, because, as you probably expect, Tina does find out about his secrets. She catches him right in the act.
To celebrate the release of Finding Love for the Loner, I’m going to give away either a Kindle ebook, or paperback version of the book (reader’s choice — no geographic restrictions). To be in the drawing, please make a comment on this blog by Friday, July 3. Tell me an experience you’ve had with forgiveness — either you forgave someone, or someone forgave you. How did you feel afterward?
In High school I suffered bullying and one guy was the ringleader the following years I could forgive and chat with the other ones had also bully me because I knew they weren’t the ringleader but what he did to me caused long lasting issues. Every time I saw him in the town I would avoid him. About 4 years ago we had our 40 year school reunion for starting high school and after chatting with a friends husband I knew I had to say I forgive you.
I got the chance later that year when he was at a garage sale I was helping with. I said I forgive you. He had no idea what I was talking about. So I said it may mean nothing to you but it does to me and I forgive you for all the bullying you did to me.
While he probably didn”t remember and it may not have meant anything to him but it did make feel better. I know he didn’t lose sleep over what he did but it affected me and probably if he had said sorry early on would have helped but I needed to let go and say I forgive you.
I am thankful God has softened my heart towards people who bullied me in life. There were mean kids who teased me about my weight when I was in elementary school. There were adults who spoke harsh words for their own reasons. I have asked God for help in forgiving these people and He has opened my heart toward forgiving.
Oh, wow, now I’m soooo intrigued, I HAVE to HAVE this book!!! I actually deal with forgiving people almost every day. I’ve been extremely hurt by someone close to me, a family member, that when I hear certain words or phrases, it all comes back, and I must ask God to help me forgive them all over again. Someone else may say something innocently, and it brings those feelings of rejection again, so I start all over. God is soo good, though, that He helps me to do it, and those times are getting further apart. Forgiving someone is more important to us than to the other person, sometimes. Words always come back to haunt us!
Oh Ausjenny what a powerful story! God bless you for facing him and forgiving him even when he didn’t ask for it. I remember a similar story. There was a boy in my grade school and junior high. At the time he was a handsome, athletic, popular kid. For some reason he nicknamed me, “Fish Lips.” I was devastated, especially when he and his popular friends would sneer after he said it.
Fast forward to when we were planning our 30 year high school reunion. Everybody friended each other on FB so we could reacquaint before the reunion. When he friended me I said, “Do you remember when you called me Fish Lips?” He didn’t. He had no memory of it at all. He said, “I was such a jerk back then. I’m sorry for doing that to you.”
That’s wonderful Melissa. And in true irony, it’s you, the one who was bullied, who feels so much better after forgiving the bully-er. I love how God works like that. “Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth.”
Oh Trudy! I’m so glad this hit the mark with you! I’m sorry you’ve had a longstanding issue with a family member. It makes it harder to move on because you’re connected. The only real way to resolve it is to forgive them and ask God for help in dealing with them long-term. Maybe that’s a way to draw closer and closer to Him as you lean on Him for support.
Looking forward to this series so much. Forgiveness for me creates freedom and can transform relationships, which is wonderful.
I have been hurt in work, church and family settings. In each case, God has helped me to see that those who hurt me either had no intention to do so or were, themselves, also hurting (even if only by holding on to their own sinful nature). Another passage I have found helpful is Phil. 4:6-7. So often, the hurts I have felt lead me to be anxious about myself or my circumstances. I think this passage is another form of casting our cares on Him. The result of letting go of the baggage and letting Him deal with it all? Peace that passes our understanding. I may not know how it will all work out, but I can trust Him to care for me.
I’ve had to work on forgiving people for some things they’ve done and ways they treated me when they didn’t even realize how much it hurt me. I’m still working on it but I find that it has to be a conscious choice not to dwell on what was done and not to keep rehashing it but to let it go and move forward. Not easy, but holding onto it only makes me more bitter, it doesn’t have much affect on the other person.
This sounds like a very uplifting and fantastic book and series. True forgiveness warms the heart!
Thank you Dianne! You are so right.
Lincoln, those are such caring words of wisdom. Living among humans means getting hurt occasionally but it’s comforting that God is aware and watching over us and wanting us to heal.
You are so right, Megan. I’ve often had to consciously “let go” of something because I know that while it’s absorbing my mind and causing pain for me, to the person who said or did the thing, they weren’t focused on it at all. Not wanting that person to control my happiness, I would consciously forgive and let go.
Thank you so much Lori P! That is definitely the intent. I hope they succeed!
I have read (and left a short review on Goodreads) for “Meet the Moms” & am on pins and needles waiting for “Finding Love for the Loner” as well as the rest of the series….because YES, I’m ready to meet the adult children! I have Kindle Unlimited so as soon as these release, I’m snagging them :-)
As far as forgiveness; I have had to forgive people of some pretty major things in my life. I felt the weight lift off my shoulders and felt a peace I had not known before. I became a different person, no longer full of bitterness & anger. It wasn’t easy to do because of some deep hurt and it took me a long time to get to the point where I felt I could forgive, but with God’s help, He took me through it and changed my heart attitude. It didn’t excuse the behavior of the person, but it freed me from all the stuff I was hanging on to. I was able to move on with my life & become more like the person God intended me to be. There have also been times when someone wouldn’t forgive me when I asked and that hurt, but I know I did the right thing in being humble enough to ask. I know God forgave me so that brings comfort. I did my part now I just pray someday that person can forgive.
Yay Trixi! Thanks for your kind words about the series and the review!
I think you can teach a master class on forgiveness. I admire you so much.
Forgiveness frees us from ourselves and our hurt. God can heal and move as we forgive and praise Him!
I’ve forgiven someone for which I will never see again, but it has set me free from the burden of the situation.
I love this imagery Diane.
I’m so glad you had the chance to put the matter to rest before the person left your life.
I worked out this guy bullied girls in the year below me and I know the only reason the other boys joined in at times was fear of him. It was more sexual harassment but it did escalate to late night phone calls (Ironically I was normally out babysitting and it stopped when my brother was home from uni and blasted them). To being followed out of school hours to having rocks thrown on the roof on the weekend.
It really did affect me in more ways than I realised I needed to say I forgive you for my own health. I had been to grief counselling and then was seeing a pain psychologist that I started dealing with the issues (after dealing with issues that mum had caused). I can now say hello to him but not so much talk. I am told he is still a bit of a jerk (people who know him have said that).