Everyone has a fear, and I’m certainly no exception. I have more than one, but the fear I’m going to talk about here is one of the dentist. Yes, maybe that sounds silly. But I had a lot of dental work as a kid and even more as an adult. I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I get when I go to the dentist because I know there’s going to be something wrong. Unfortunately, with my teeth, that’s almost always what happens.
So, when our kids ended up with weak baby teeth, that fear was only magnified. It’s one thing for me to go through all of this. It’s completely different if our sweet babies do, too.
A few weeks ago, our daughter, who is six, developed a small abscess above one of her top, front teeth. After antibiotics and a waiting game, the dentist finally decided that the two top teeth needed to be extracted. Thankfully, these were just baby teeth and already loose, so it could have been worse.
I had to psych myself up for days to make sure I took her to the dentist for her appointment with a good attitude and no visible anxiety or fear of my own. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. They took an x-ray of the two front teeth to see what they were dealing with. And there was my baby girl, giving me a big grin and a thumbs up. That’s when I realized that my fears were my own. My daughter had no such fears, and it gave me hope that she never would. Maybe she would be one of those kids who grew up unafraid of the dentist. Or who, like a few of my cousins, even looked forward to the visit every six months.
That sweet girl spoke to the dentist with a smile, handled the nitrous like a champ, and then didn’t complain once as they numbed her gums and extracted both of those teeth.
The whole time, I sat on the bed with her, my hands on her legs, and smiled reassuringly. I was so proud of her.
Two hours later, she was eating lunch and flashing that new toothless grin, telling me that she was so glad the dentist took her teeth out because her mouth felt so much better now.
How many times do we limit ourselves, or even others we love, by letting our fears control us? My daughter’s experience could’ve been completely different if I’d projected my fear of dentists onto her. Instead, it was a great experience, her pain was removed, and she’ll go to the dentist next time with a smile on her face.
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In my book, Calming the Storm, Rachel deals with a lot of fear. She’s lost nearly everyone that’s ever meant something to her. Her young niece, Kendra, is the only family Rachel has left, and now even that sweet little girl might be torn from her arms. When Brandon suggests a marriage of convenience to help her keep Kendra, Rachel’s scared. What if it doesn’t work? What if she loses her niece anyway? What if she falls for Brandon and he leaves her just like everyone else has?
Only by learning how to set aside her fears can Rachel finally experience all the joy and love that God has in store for her.
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Giveaway
For your chance to win a $5.00 Amazon gift card, comment below and tell me about a time you conquered your fear, no matter how small that fear may be. One person will be chosen randomly on Sunday, July 30th, and the winner contacted by e-mail. I look forward to reading your responses!
Melanie D. Snitker is a USA Today Bestselling Author who writes inspirational and sweet romance novels. She and her husband live in the beautiful Texas Hill Country with their two children who keep their lives full of adventure. They share their home with two dogs, a guinea pig, two lizards, and four frogs. In her spare time, Melanie enjoys photography, reading, baking, computer games, and hanging out with family and friends.
Fear of dentists! Raising my hand. Love the picture of your daughter and love your book cover. (Overcome a fear…still working on that one. ha!)
Your daughter is adorable, Melanie! I have a great and extremely gentle dentist, but I still can’t stand when the hygentist scrapes the plaque. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard. My greatest fear is heights.
Hi Melanie, great photo and book cover. I’m not a fan of small, dark spaces, however, my husband loves caving! My first time in a real cave, I spent 12 hours underground. Still not a fan!!
Blessings:)
My fear is roller coasters. The fear of it stopping or it malfunction and I fall out?
Hi Melanie! Thanks for your post. I have a fear of growing, since I almost drowned as a two year. As a five year, when my parents immigrated from Germany in 1955 we came to America on a ocean liner in the midst of an Atlantic winter storm. I was seasick for five long days. Since we immigrated to SW Michigan, when my parents took me to Lake Michigan’s beach, it was petrified. As a teen, I never managed to learn to swim, even though I took lessons. My children and grandchildren love the water. I can relate about having bad teeth. As a child, I spent a lot of time at the dentist. Fortunately even though the dentist was gruff, I never had a fear for the dentist as long as a received Novocain for my dental work. I am so very grateful to the advances in modern dentistry, especially the suction machine. My saliva glands are over active at the dentist. Calming the Storm had an eye appealing cover, inspiring characters, and page turning plot. Well written. Thanks for a chance to win an Amazon gift card to appease my reading addiction. Best wishes.
Thanks, Tina! It’s sad how many of us are afraid of the dentist! I’m hoping my daughter never gets that way. Thanks for your kind comments!
Thanks, Jill! She’s a true blessing. I can totally get that about the hygienist scraping plaque. Fear is definitely a valid fear. It was never one I have, but my dad was very fearful of heights. I didn’t understand it as a kid. Now, while I’m not fearful for myself, it sure scares me if my kids are up high. Especially our son who has autism and no fear of heights at all lol
Thanks for your response. Caving – how fun!! That’s neat that you two do that together, even if you’re not a fan of small, dark spaces. That’s love right there!
Ack! I can totally see why you feel that way!
Hi Renate. Wow, that’s scary you almost drowned when you were little. I think that would become a lifelong fear that would be very difficult to let go of. I’m glad you don’t have a fear of the dentist, but I am sorry to hear you also have bad teeth. That’s no fun. Thanks so much for reading Calming the Storm. I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
Fear of dentist! Yes, I totally empathize. My youngest has needed a lot of dental work in her 5 years of life and it terrified me. But I needed to step up and be the mom so the child can get through the procedure. She was a mess but forgot about it a few days later. Whew.
I have a true fear of the water. I almost drowned as a child and as a result never learned to swim. I never wanted my children to be afraid of the water so I would have to talk myself down to be able to take them in the pool and make sure they could swim and were not afraid. All of my children and grandchildren that are old enough can swim and enjoy the water. I still can’t do it.
Ugh, I’m with you on dentist. Had a visit last week to fix a cavity and my blood pressure was up. He said, “it’s probably because you had to come see me.”
I told him it was nothing personal. As far as dentist goes, he’s a good’un, but I have a deep aversion with the dental community that I may never get over.
Appreciated that he didn’t take it personal and he honestly did try to make my visit as pleasant as possible.
Still would rather pull nose hairs than go, but it’s nothing personal. lol.
I have a fear of the dentist, also, and have yet to overcome that fear. ? You are a new author to me, but your book cover is beautiful and the storyline sounds delightful. This one goes on my wish list! ❤️
Fear is something I struggle with, it’s my biggest weakness. I don’t think I will every overcome it completely. I have only gotten where I am with the Lord’s help. I have feared the dentist all my life that I can remember. When I was five, a dentist slapped me in the face because I silently cried. I remember asking his assistant to please do the work and not him. I didn’t tell my mama and she could do nothing about it, so I just kept being afraid. As a result, my teeth suffered. In November 2015 one of my wisdom teeth cracked. My husband had just had to go for a root canal and crown and I decided to make an appt. Why, I don’t know. When I went in, the assistant stayed by my side, talked to me and calmed me. The tooth broke even worse and it took him 15 minutes to dig it out. I almost got a dry socket, got a bad infection and was 19 days without pain all day long. BUT I went back many visits and now all my teeth are repaired and in good shape! I’m so happy and proud of myself. I never, EVER thought I coudl walk into a dentist’s office without being absolutely scared to death. Seriously, ‘petrified’ was not even in the same universe to how I felt. But now I can!!! I only wish it hadn’t taken me nearly 60 years to overcome the fear. But to God be the glory!
such a lovely picture of your sweet daughter. such a brave little soul. bless you for being that mom that puts her children first. a pretty book cover. when I was 9 years old our family of 7 moved to a farm in the Mojave desert. before that I wanted nothing to do with bugs. at the farm I started becoming terrified of bugs, tarantulas, snakes etc. so my mom put the 4 oldest of us kids in 4-H. I did and loved horses, pigs, cattle and sewing. my mom did not give me a choice she enrolled me in entomology. uggghhh. no way!! unbeknownst to me at the time she had talked ahead of time to the lady in charge and within 6 months I was enthusiastically making boards of bugs and labeling and researching them. and with the other animals I learned to respect and accept snakes and tarantulas etc. because I needed to know about them to protect my animals. especially when I rode my horse through the desert. I was an experience that forever changed my life.
Hi Melanie! Great post! Congratulations for being brave for your daughter. Sometimes parents can pass along their fears to their children.
I’m afraid of heights, but whenever I’m traveling and have to go up a monument or building to have a great view of the place I put away that little voice inside me that keeps saying I could fall and go for it!
It’s interesting reading everyone’s posts. I don’t enjoy going to the dentist, but haven’t had to deal with fear there. I was very shy when I was young, and we went to a small church. My junior high Sunday School class had all of 3 girls in it! By the time I was in high school, there were a few more kids. Those were the days when the youth did all their programming, with adults just encouraging in the background. So, I had to overcome my fears and shyness and take my turn leading Sunday evening youth services. Not lot ago, I realized that the Lord had used that to help me grow. If we’d been part of a large church, I could have stayed in the background, but since I had to take my turn, I eventually developed confidence. That came in handy as the Lord led my husband and I into missionary service in Asia.
I used to think that my fear of heights (I almost fell off a roof as a teen) was my worst fear, that is until my husband was diagnosed with cancer. With much prayer, I was able to manage the fear that I would grow old and raise our son alone, whose 9th birthday was at the time of the cancer diagnosis. As hard as that was, it prepared me for when our son had an emergency appendectomy a few years later. God is good and he helped me through these trials. I’m still afraid of heights though. PS I LOVE having my teeth cleaned. After having braces many, many years ago, the dentist is a cake walk for me. I’m glad your little girl had a good experience :)
I totally dislike dentists. Can’t say if it’s fear or just bad experiences but I definitely put off going unless I have too.
I have many fears of losing my loved ones and not being there for them, but also of not being a good mom and teaching my son to love God and living according to His will.
I’ve had Calming the Storm for a while and maybe it’s time to read it. Thank you for reminding me why I got it in the first place. (Though I wish I had more time.)
Fear of c-section while delivering my last child. Went in “kicking and screaming” because I did NOT want the surgery. The only thing calming me down, was the prayers and soothing from my husband, and yes, my anesthesiologist.
Hi Melanie. I love your book cover. My kids were like your daughter. They loved out dentist. For a while one of them wanted to be a dentist. I think he was good with kids, so they were never fearful. When I was a kid my parents weren’t very good about taking us for regular checkups. I carried that mode into my adult years, and now I have a mouth full of crowns to show for it.
I need to proofread my comments. LOL! That should be “our dentist” not “out dentist.”
People don’t believe it now, but I was extremely shy and absolutely terrified to talk to strangers. When I was 15 I got a job as a waitress and had to overcome the fear of talking to strangers. Now I can talk to anyone and will. I love to embarrass my kids by striking up a conversation with strangers in the grocery store line.
Melanie, another great post! I can relate as our daughter has slight special needs and doctor appointments can be tough. she broke a tooth and it was pulled, a baby tooth. Phew. Then he said it is time for the ortho, I’d put it off out of fear she would freak out or not take care of her teeth. They did immediate impressions, had I waited, I would have been the wreck. She did fantastic and said about braces, everyone else has them, it can’t be that big of a deal!
I had many fears, but one when I was last year topped all others. I have a heart defect and was supposed to die at 23, never marry, bear children, have any sort of a normal life. Well I managed a College Degree, married a Minister, had three kids,and was 61. My husband is a minister and a substitute teacher and he got the flu BAD. He was on his feet in a few days. I was so sick after that I don’t remember anything until I woke up in ICU! I did not know my state, who was president, anything! I was so afraid, until I remembered Jesus. I just whispered his name over and over. The next morning the Dr. came in, and I had my right mind back!
Your poor little girl! It’s so hard when we have to see them go through things like that, no matter what it is! Glad she made it through it okay!
Oh, I can’t blame you for being scared of the water like that! Good for you for taking your kids to the pool and making sure they knew how to swim. I’m sorry water is still a difficult place for you to be, though. Hugs!
I definitely have a fear of the dentist! Ever since I was young, I get bad anxiety about going. So sad, but true!
I’m glad your dentist didn’t take it personally and that your visit was as pleasant as possible. I’m sorry that you dislike going to the dentist so much, though. It is such a hard thing to move past!
Thanks so much! If you get a chance to read Calming the Storm, I hope you enjoy it! <3
Fear truly can become debilitating. I have several fears that were that way for me in the past. And they will still rear their ugly heads from time to time.
That’s horrible that the dentist slapped you when you were a child and were crying. That would completely scar a child and it’s no wonder you have such an issue with the dentist. I’m proud of you for going in and facing your fears to get your broken tooth fixed and then to get the rest of your teeth back in shape again. Good for you!
Thank you, Lori. Wow, that’s great that you were able to overcome that fear of bugs while you were in entomology through 4H. Sounds like the lady in charge handled your fear perfectly, too.
Thanks, Laura! Sorry to hear about your fear of heights. Some of those really tall monuments can be really scary! My dad had a fear of heights and while I don’t have one directly, I do when it’s related to the kids being up high!
That’s great that you worked through your shy tendencies and developed the confidence that you have now. What a blessing!
I can only imagine how difficult it was to get through those trials. I’m so glad you were able to rely on God. I have no idea how people get through such trying times without Him!
The fear of losing loved ones is very real and an especially difficult one to move past. (((hugs)))
I hope you enjoy Calming the Storm if you decide to read it! Thanks for picking it up!
There are so many heightened emotions during that time that certainly doesn’t help, either. I’m glad that prayers, your husband, and the anesthesiologist all helped and I hope things went smoothly.
Thanks, Merrillee! I’m glad your kids liked their dentist and he was so good with them. Sorry about all the crowns, no fun :-(
That’s great you overcame your fear of talking to strangers!! Funny about embarrassing your kids lol
I’ve had breast cancer so every time I go in for a mammogram I’m fearful. Prayer is my way of coping.
That’s awesome your daughter did so well with the ortho! Dental stuff has been terrible with our son (also special needs) which probably also played into my nerves with our daughter. Hooray for a successful experience for your daughter! :-D
Wow, what a scary thing to have happened. I’m so glad you’re okay now. Praise God that He watched over you when you were so sick!!
Sorry you share my same fear, Britney!
Wow, Gail. That would be such a hard thing to go through every time. I’m so glad you have prayer as a way of coping. I pray you never experience cancer again!
I don’t really like dentists either . My bigger dislike is heights. Someone pushed me down a huge flight when I was in second grade. I’m glad your daughter is so brave! Thanks for the post.
Snakes!!! I am scared to death of them! My hub is very outdoorsy and will bring them to the door to show me…yuck, I quickly turn away! lol We live in the country.
I really do not have a fear of anything, but I do not like snakes. They are very slimy and icky.
Wow, I’ll bet that was really scary getting pushed down like that!!
That’s rough that you live in the country while you dislike snakes so much. I can’t say as I blame you, though! lol
That’s great you don’t have a true fear of anything! But yeah, I don’t blame you for not liking snakes. Can’t say I’m a fan of them myself lol
I had a fear of thunder when I was young an my stepfather took me out on the porch an showed me that it was just noise an how to count between lightening and when the next boom would come.
My fear is public speaking. I am quiet by nature. But being a missionary I am often called upon to speak at women’s groups, etc. Over the years it has gotten somewhat easier but I still get very nervous. God reminds me each time of Moses and different ones that said they couldn’t do the talking and God said He would give them the words. So it is always an area of trust when I have to speak. I speak to my women’s group here amongst the tribal people we work with and I teach literacy. I got over the fear in those situations but actually find it harder to talk to people of my country. I actually grew up here in Papua New Guinea so maybe that is why I am more comfortable talking to PNG people.
I am afraid of mice and rats and the repeated advice that “They are more afraid of you” really hasn’t helped. As a child we lived near a town branch and a huge storage building so rats were very prominent and I heard them in our house in the night. To make matters worse, my great grandmother often told about rats getting in a babie’s bed because of the bottle. Yes, this sounds horrible even as I recall it 50 years later! So, as a young bride, when I saw a rat in our old farmhouse kitchen, I went outside and stayed all day. It wasn’t until my husband came in from the field that I went back in! Silly? Yes. Illogical? Yes, but I couldn’t help it!! I think most fears seem silly or illogical to those who don’t have them. Since then, I have grown up a little. No, I don’t like them. Yes, I am still afraid of these rodents. I have just learned to “put on my big girl panties” and try to catch them or drive them out instead of them driving me away!
Taking a job and not doing my in home childcare/preschool I had been planning for. I feared I was waisting all God had given me. But he calmed my heart by reminding we there are seasons in our lives (Ecc 3).
Working on it right now with dental fears, for myself and my kids! This was very timely for me. I took my kids to the dentist yesterday, and *my* 6-year-old needs two extractions, which crushed me. I’m still trying to work through that, but we’re going in Monday to start work on it.
Hi Melanie! I am still working on overcoming the fears. I have PTSD and anxiety is a part of my daily life. I face them every day for even simple things so it’s still a work in progress.
I almost drowned at the beach as a child. After that anytime water got about halfway to my chest I would start breathing heavy. My husband loved to swim and didn’t push me but wo .uk ld stay in the shallow end with me. I decided this was unfair to him so went out farther and farther with him. He would hold me so the water was above my chest if I started to breathe hard. I no longer have that issue.
Our son was terribly afraid of the thunder. He also loved to play the drums. So we told him to think about it as God up in heaven playing the drums, and that seemed to help him! He still gets nervous, but isn’t nearly as scared as he used to be.
Oh my goodness, I hear you on the public speaking. I would say that’s a real fear for me, too. Just thinking about it makes me feel almost sick. I love that reminder that God will give you the words you need when you speak.
You know, it doesn’t matter if a fear seems silly or illogical to someone else. To the person with that fear, it makes complete sense!! I don’t blame you about the rats. Yuck! But I’m glad you have figured out a way to get the strength to drive them out or trap them. Good for you!!
So glad things have calmed. It’s so true that there are seasons in our lives. And each one is a new beginning. I hope all continues to go well for you!
Sorry to hear about the dental fears you are all going through. I pray all goes well on Monday and that the extractions will be as smooth for your kiddo. Hugs, mama!
Sometimes, I think trying to face fears is simply realizing they are there and then being willing to get up each morning and deal with them in one way or another. You’re doing great!!
I’m so glad you overcame your fear of the water. Good for you! And wonderful that your husband was so understanding and helped you through that.
by the way-I am not fond of dentist either. LOL