I’ll be honest. Easter isn’t my favorite time of the year.
It’s been over a decade since it happened, but the last Sunday we spent together as a family was Easter Sunday. Our daughter passed away the following Sunday morning. It’s harder for me when Easter comes closer to the anniversary of her death, but regardless – Easter can sometimes be kind of hard for me.
I don’t wallow in misery or anything like that. You won’t find me hiding in a corner of the sanctuary waiting for it all to just be over. I truly can (and do!) celebrate the Resurrection at this time of year. It’s because He lives that I know I’ll see my daughter again. It’s because He lives that death has lost its sting (1 Cor 15:55). I absolutely affirm and embrace all of those things. But still…sometimes the Easter season makes me sad because it reminds me of grief and the pain of loss.
This time of year reminds me of the Savior who gave all so that I could know life. But it also reminds me of sparkling eyes and a shining smile. And that’s okay. Life – along with all of its emotions – is complex. We can feel more than one thing at a time.
Enter Dawson from His Runaway Crush. If you’ve read it, you might recognize this theme. Sometimes as writers, we borrow from our own life experiences and turn them around and upside down to fit a character we’ve created. While I was never angry about Easter the way Dawson is, Easter was filled with sorrow after our daughter’s death. It took a little while for that fog of grief to lift enough so that I could again not just know but also feel the joy of Easter and the Resurrection.
Dawson, on the other hand, has had a hard time moving on from the event that turned him against Easter. That’s one of the reasons I chose Psalm 34:18 as the theme verse for His Runaway Crush. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
I hope this year, as you prepare for Easter, that you remember how much God loves you and is holding you close. I hope you remember that no matter what might be weighing on you at this time, God is near to you. I hope you experience the joy of the Resurrection in a new and real way this year.
I also – because I’m a writer, and I need to put food on the table – hope you read the Easter in Gilead series and that, as you enjoy the romance stories, you are also reminded of the redemption we have in Christ. 😊
Heather Gray loves coffee, God, her family, and laughter – not necessarily in that order! She writes approachable characters who, through the highs and lows of life, find a way to love God, embrace each day, and laugh out loud right along with her. And, yeah, her books almost always have someone who's a coffee addict. Some things just can't be helped. Despite their different lives and situations, Heather’s characters have something in common. They're all flawed...but loved anyway.
Hi Heather, as soon as you mentioned the loss of your daughter just after Easter I knew where the motivation for Dawson came from. (just finished)
I can imagine it is hard when Easter is close to the date.
I have loved the whole series so far and I love the quirky characters in your book.
Sounds like a book with a great message, I love how Christian fiction tackles difficult issues as the characters find, regain, or maintain their trust in God.
Those who insist that it’s just a “feel good” genre and that their stories don’t address real issues don’t know the genre.
So true, Lilly! Christian fiction is a way that we can take truths from Scripture and show them lived out in real life situations. Being able to do that is a privilege. :-)
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the series!
God promises to use all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Letting me use my own life experiences to develop a character that people can relate to and that might help them face some of their own issues is just one of the ways that God has stepped in and made something good out of my own sorrow.
We serve an amazing God!
I LOVE the three books I’ve read in this series, which are yours, Valerie’s, and Elizabeth’s. This series has really had me missing the Passion Plays my church used to do every year. I haven’t had relatives pass close to Easter. However, for me any holiday without someone you love is hard, especially when family dynamics change!! Just more so when it’s close to their home going. I also know God will get us through, just like you’ve discovered, and as Dawson discovers.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the series, Trudy! And you’re so right – God does get us through. We are truly blessed to be His children.
We lost our daughter a year and a half ago on just an average day in June. Anniversaries are hard enough, so I can see how it could overshadow what it otherwise a joyous day. My dad always made a big deal of making the ham for Easter and all of us sitting down together. He passed unexpectedly last month. It sounds so silly as I type this out, but none of us can face that traditional dinner without him so we’re having Chinese. Grief colors every day things as well as sacred and special ones. I give myself a pass on some of the little things so I can focus on keeping my grief from leading into bitterness and anger. I’ll have to read this one. I love books that come from the real-life experiences we all have. Thanks for sharing!
Christa, I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve endured. And I understand the holiday meal. My daughter always helped me fix Thanksgiving dinner, and when she passed, facing that day and that meal was more difficult than I could cope with at the time. So I started making tamales for Thanksgiving, and that’s been our holiday meal ever since. I could probably handle going back and doing the traditional dinner now, but my husband and son love the tamales, so I stick with it. And you’re right – it’s important to give yourself grace as you grieve. I’ll be praying for you as we finish out the approach to Easter.
so sorry for your loss Christa. I read a book on grieving and it mentioned the special occasions. It was by a couple of authors who had lost loved ones and one thing that stuck with me was to do something new or different for the special occasions. For me it was my first Christmas and I started a Christmas Villiage. It was something so different and I was able to focus on this. I still missed mum but it was something new and me. The idea of having Chinese is another way to not lose the old memories but to create a new memory.
I’m so sorry to hear how you lost your daughter, I can understand that it must make this time of year hard.
I’ve really enjoyed the Easter in Gilead series, thank you for sharing here and in your book.
Thank you for stopping by the blog today, Ruthie, and – as always – thank you for reading!! :-)
I have the book and enjoying every page 😊
Yay! I’m glad you’re enjoing it!
Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed His Runaway Crush. My mom and my mother-in-law both passed away in January (not this year – a number of years ago now), but I was so thankful they did so AFTER my birthday, which is January too.
I completely understand that, Margaret! (And I’m glad you enjoyed His Runaway Crush!) ^_^
Heather,
Sorry to hear about your loss of your daughter. We just lost my father last month, and Easter is hard because this time last year we were just moving Mom and Daddy into assisted living. Never would have guessed that this year we wouldn’t have him here on earth.
Knowing he’s with Jesus eases the pain tremendously, but every once and awhile, we still miss him. Glad I ran across your post. I will add you to my prayers!
I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom went into the arms of Jesus in January. Her birthday is April 14th. It is going to be a rough week for me too. Sending you love, hugs and prayers. God bless you.
looks interesting
I meant to respond way before today. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayer is for you to have peace during this season.
I also wanted to let you know that I just finished Her Billionaire Benefactor and have downloaded your book to read next. I am looking forward to it.
I hope you and your family are enjoying this Resurrection Sunday. I wish many blessings for you. You bless so many people with your stories.