I have a friend who makes jam. Strawberry jam, to be exact. It’s amazing, too — definitely the best jam I’ve ever had in my life.
I asked her one time why she goes through all the effort of making her own jam, and her answer was pretty simple. People like it, and her husband loves it.
She makes giant batches and gives small jars away to anyone who comes to her house. Friends, family, and neighbors who happen to end up with a jar are simply blessed, though, by her love for her husband.
Making jam is a lot of work. It’s also kind of expensive. It has to be a labor of love, and in this case, it is. Her husband loves her jam, so my friend makes jam.
She might be on to something, too. She and her husband have been married for over fifty years now.
Neither of them is perfect. They don’t always agree. Sometimes they clash, and sometimes those clashes get a little heated. At the end of the day, though, they can always break bread and have some jam.
Isn’t that a beautiful picture of love?
I’m not perfect. My husband isn’t, either. We disagree now and then, and sometimes we do a fabulous job of irritating each other. At the end of the day, though, we have… Okay, we don’t have jam. But we do have Oreos. He likes the inside. I like the outside. We’re a perfect match.
Eons ago — or at least what feels like eons — I started praying for and about the man I was going to marry someday. I don’t remember all of those prayers, but I remember specifically telling God on more than one occasion that I didn’t need a perfect man. I just needed the man who was perfect for me, and I was trusting in Him to know who that was.
Here we are, twenty-plus years later. We’ve had good days and bad days. We’ve had more laugh-out-loud moments than I can count. We’ve also had moments that felt like we were on some sort of crazy psychedelic corkscrew roller coaster.
At the end of the day, though, we have Oreos, and sometimes an Oreo is exactly the right way to say I love you.
What do you do – whether it’s a romantic relationship or otherwise – to show the special people in your life that you love them despite the differences you may have had on any particular day?
Heather Gray loves coffee, God, her family, and laughter – not necessarily in that order! She writes approachable characters who, through the highs and lows of life, find a way to love God, embrace each day, and laugh out loud right along with her. And, yeah, her books almost always have someone who's a coffee addict. Some things just can't be helped. Despite their different lives and situations, Heather’s characters have something in common. They're all flawed...but loved anyway.
I would cook his favorite meal and that would bring a smile to his face all the time.
Hi Heather, how lovely:) My husband massages my feet, and I ensure that the kitchen is cleaned- sounds crazy, but it works!!
Blessings:)
Hi Heather! This morning blog made me hungry and longing for spring and fresh strawberries. I love to show the special people in my life that I love them by surprising them with their favorite treats – hubby enjoys pineapple sweet rolls or blueberry pancakes, son #1 enjoys Reese’s peanut butter cups, son #2 likes oatmeal cookies, grandson #1 loves breakfast pizza, and granddaughter #1 favorite is mac and cheese. Food is definitely comforting when life is a roller coaster. Happy Easter and Best wishes.
This is a great post! I love the idea of giving little homemade treats to everyone who visits. I don’t know what I do, but one of the things my husband does is always eat the end pieces of our bread. He knows I don’t care for them so he always tries to eat them.
Food is always a great way to a person’s heart, especially when we take the extra care to fix something especially liked by the person in question! :)
I can get on board with a food massage! ^_^ How lovely that you both know exactly how to show your love for one another!
I fixed dinner a week or so ago, and my son wanted to go back for seconds, but there wasn’t anymore. I had planned enough to feed the family but hadn’t wanted leftovers. He looked at me and said, “But I actually like this meal…” It made me laugh. My son has discovered over the past year or so that some foods he has traditionally disliked now taste good to him (onion, for example). So I promised to fix more the next time I fix that particular dish. Since he likes it, it’ll probably become part of the regular rotation, too. Not that I design my menu around my child, but I do try to make meals that my family will enjoy, and I now it makes them happy when we sit down to eat and they discover one of their favorites on the table. :)
Ha! That’s so funny! My husband loves the end pieces, so I always leave those for him. Unless it’s French bread. Then we each get one because I’m not totally willing to give up both ends of the French loaf. Hm… I might need to work on my putting-others-first the next time there’s French bread around. ^_^
Fun post! I love to make strawberry jam, but making raspberry/rhubarb is my favorite! It’s hard to answer about what we do for each other to show our love, because there are too many of them. We pretty much like the same things, and are both middle children, and easy to please. Now that he’s retired, he helps more with the dishes, and sometimes does the cooking himself. The main thing we do to show our love for each other is to spend time with each other.
cook a favorite meal or dessert or a special note on their pillow
I love this story of the strawberry jam.
Time – especially in today’s super-crazy-busy world, is such a gift! We often don’t realize how precious time with our loved ones is until we’ve let too much of it pass. I’m glad that you guys get to enjoy your time with one another! (And for the record, I never say no to rhubarb jam! ^_^ )
Favorites are always good! My husband’s favorite dessert is – of course – Oreos. ^_^ Occasionally he’ll ask me to make cheesecake or something like that, but he would be happy as a clam (assuming clams are happy) if I got him Oreos every single week.
I love that you specifically told God you didn’t need a perfect man, just the perfect man for you. I’m not married and this is a good reminder for me that someone who seems perfect may not be perfect for me and that I should keep waiting for the man God has for me.
I just loved your post. Your phrase “But we do have Oreos. He likes the inside. I like the outside. We’re a perfect match.” just simply got to me. Love is that beautiful and no matter how hard our day (and our disagreements) are, there’s always something that binds us together. I feel the same with my husband, even on those days I just can’t stand him. I do hope we can make it to 50…
So glad you could join us Amy!
God’s choice for us is always best – even when that choice feels lonely. Hugs!!
Relationships are such a blessing! They bring out the best and the worst in us – hopefully so we can work on the worst parts and celebrate the best parts. I was talking to a friend recently, and we were discussing how marriage is one of those refining fires that God uses to show us our own faults and to sanctify us.
Hugs. Two particular daughters and I clash quite a bit….but a hug always resolves our differences and helps us keep the peace.