I can’t believe it, but on this day 22 years ago, I was upstairs in our church loft, wedding gown on, ready to walk down the aisle, watching guests arrive and park across the street as I peeked out the small window. Organized to a fault, I’d padded the schedule to make sure nothing, no-thing, went wrong on our wedding day. And it truly was a perfect day.
I thought I’d share our beginnings, because it is a sweet story. Most people don’t know I was friends with Tom’s family before I even met him. During college I had worked at a shoe store and the assistant manager was his sister-in-law. One night we got to talking and we discovered a lot of things. We became friends and she invited me and my sister to join her at her in-laws for dinner. The Arduini family, six children strong, met each Sunday for dinner. To Tom’s parents, everyone was family. As weird as I felt inviting myself, it took seconds to realize we were included. The Sunday dinner became a routine, and it didn’t take long before my sister and I hung out with the Arduini siblings whenever we could.
Tom was divorced and lived over an hour away, so he wasn’t around much. I saw his pictures around his parent’s house, but it became a running joke that he was the phantom child. I’d met him in passing at a dinner, and again at a party, but no introductions were made. One time he talked and eluded to the fact that he was a partying man. I was a new Christian, so I remember walking away thinking the guy was a jerk. Once we started dating I told him about that time and he laughed and laughed. He was pretending to be up late doing wild things when in reality, he was up late re building a computer. I can tell you that story makes perfect sense!
Fast forward and I was struggling with a lot of things, including my new faith. One thing that hadn’t changed was those Sunday dinners. In April 1995, I was late getting to one of those dinners. I’d been at a missions event at church and that ran late, and the rest of my day was a catch up. By the time I reached the house, my sister, Tom’s sister-in-law, and all the local siblings were gone. I don’t even think his parents were around. But Tom was there with his two young children.
I remember bringing cruise pictures from my earlier vacation with my sister and I was frustrated I missed the chance to show everyone. I had them in hand and was ready to turn and leave when Tom said he’d like to look at them. I remember stopping and asking, “Really?” I didn’t know the guy, or his children, and I felt superficial showing them to him. He took interest and that little visit lasted hours as he asked questions about our vacation and about me. It set me back even further. I left thinking he wasn’t such a jerk after all, but my focus was on catching up with the rest of my day. I had another event to attend, and then would finally meet up with his family at the bowling alley. I asked him to please let them know I was running really late, and if he’d like to join us, come on out.
He did, but he forgot to mention I was running late, and that we’d spent hours talking. I was back to being frustrated, but Tom tagged along the entire evening, right down to hanging out at Perkins after bowling.
By the time I arrived home, my mom was still up and asked how my day went. I sighed and shared how frustrated I was because “Dave’s brother” was in town and because we took so long talking, it made me even later to everything else. She asked what I knew about him and I shrugged and said, “He’s older. Divorced. Two kids. He’s the phantom brother. He also doesn’t tell everyone when I’m running late like I asked him to.” And with that, I went to bed.
What I didn’t know was mom marked the day on the calendar. She used it for weather events, her appointments, and other important dates. She said she knew he was the one. Tom came home every weekend, and I thought he missed his mom. When he was home, he was attending church and being mentored. When he asked me out that July, he was a Christian all of one week. We were engaged that September, and married August 31, 1996.
Ours probably isn’t the first story Hallmark would run after, but it’s my favorite. The years have been full of stretching, blessings, and everything the vows mention, but I love the life we have. Those two kids are now adults, married, and have their own children now. We have a college aged son and a daughter about to enter high school.
Our family today, minus our son-in-law.
Arduini Family photo credits
Dates I put on my calendar.
Just like Mom.
Do you put important things on a calendar like mom did the day I “met” Tom? Tell me about it and I’ll choose one random winner to win a copy of Entrusted, my first contemporary romance. It’s set in the Adirondack Mountains, where we had our honeymoon. USA winner has a choice of print or eBook. Anywhere else receives an eBook.
Prizes galore in our Back-to-School Bash now on!
Julie Arduini loves to encourage readers to surrender the good, the bad, and ---maybe one day---the chocolate. She’s the author of ENTRUSTED: Surrendering the Present, as well as ENTANGLED: Surrendering the Past. The last book in the series, ENGAGED: Surrendering the Future, is coming soon. She also shares her story in the infertility devotional, A WALK IN THE VALLEY. She also blogs every other Wednesday for Christians Read. She resides in Ohio with her husband, two children, and chocolate stash. Learn more by visiting her at http://juliearduini.com.
Hi Julie, I loved reading your real life romance story. Thanks for sharing and Happy Anniversary! :)
Hi Julie, happy anniversary and thanks for sharing your story- how fun that by running late you met the one for you:) I do not like being late, so I would have been very frustrated!! I typically don’t mark things on the calendar like what your mum does, but I do write down things like first steps, word- then it is the typical appointments, events coming up etc. Even those are fun to look back on and remember:)
Blessings:)
Aw, what a wonderful story. Happy Anniversary! :) I don’t put important things on a calendar. And sometimes I wish I did.
Happy Anniversary! I love your story, thank you for sharing!
I do not like being late either…in fact I will most times not go somewhere if I am running late! Glad you didn’t do that though♥️♥️!
Our calendars are for events and activities that we need to attend. I’ve never put down special dates (other than birthdays and anniversaries) on our calendar but what your mom did sounds special and memory-building.
Hi Julie! Happy Anniversary. Enjoyed your being late story. Being German, punctuality is drilled into us. Being punctually is arriving 5 minutes early. Every culture has their own rules concerning punctuality. Fascinating study, especially when traveling the world. As a retiree, I mark important events on my calendar. My wall calendar is often my mini diary. I can quickly jot down an event I want to remember. I save those calendars for several years and often refer back. When did we meet friends or go on a special road trip. Also helps me remember my children and grandchildren birthdays and anniversary. My calendar helps me organize my week, month, and year. Best wishes and enjoy your day. Fall is in the air in SW Michigan.
That’s a great story. I love to hear how people meet. I don’t put dates on my calendar, but what a great idea. Thank you for sharing!
I do put important things on my calendar. It helps to remind me of special dates etc. Thanks!!
Yes, I usually put important happenings on my calendar. I keep previous months calendars until I can scrapbook them. Even if I don’t have a picture to go with the event, I can at least include the calendar with the tidbits.
I put appointments ,birthdays etc on calendar. I also put the school year calendar so I’m aware of teacher work days so I don’t schedule other things those days. I’ll ask my daughter if I need to watch her older kids as well as well as her two year old. Inevitably she says yes.
Your story is fun!
I don’t put as much on calendars like I used to.
I have a a lot of calendars,I have wrote on over the years.
My mom would have written it in her diary. She kept those little five-year diaries all her adult life. Each day only had 4-5 lines, so only the weather and who visited or called or other highlight of the day made it in!
Congrats on your meeting and sharing your story here briefly. God is good and this shows that He has plans for us even in the moments we aren’t looking for them. God bless you on your journey
I loved reading about how you met your husband. I didn’t want your story to end and was disappointed when it did. Have you used this in any of your books?
I write important life events in a journal instead of on a calendar. I use a calendar for day-to-day reminders and activities. I really liked reading your story as well.
I do sometimes… but I am not very good at keeping track of the planners that I write that stuff in!;)
Thank you for sharing your sweet love story. My grandmother kept highlights of the day on those 2-year wallet-sized calendars. I do too.
I’m blessed to have the calendar my grandmother kept the year I met and married my husband.
My mom didn’t write it down, but she knew my husband was the one I would marry when he was walking up the steps to pick me up for our first date. We had a family event earlier that day so it was in Granny’s calendar.
I love your story. Thank you for sharing. Have a blessed and happy Anniversary!
What a fun story! I love hearing how couples met and what went on. I just use my calendar for appointments/events I am committed to and things like that and journal other things. How fun that your mom wrote it down & noticed that it was such an important day!
Great story, Julie. I like the date on the calendar thing. I don’t except for events coming up so I won’t forget. I’ll have to mark when my son meets someone now. He’s 16.
Thank you, Narelle!
I joke with him that was my first time ever being late, and since that day, I am rarely on time. I aim to be, I leave early, and something happens every single time.
Thank you, Irma! I don’t have a calendar with important dates like my mom, but I guess on my Google Calendar I tend to put significant events on it. I looked at my mom’s calendar the last visit and she still writes everything on it, and keeps the old ones.
Over the years, although I still run late, I’ve learned to not get so frustrated. I do point out to the family that when I am solo, I am on time!
It really was. My mom still does that, and she also still has old calendars!
Thank you, Renate!
My mom is German, her maiden name is Hetrick. She uses her calendar for the same reason. I do as well, but online via Google.
I am waiting on that fall air in Ohio!
Thank you, Lindi! I love hearing those type of stories as well!
That’s great, Kelley! Thank you for reading!
Lila,
What a great idea! My mom keeps her calendars, but I don’t think she scrapbooks them. I love that!
Thank you, Diana! That’s a great way to stay organized!
Linda,
I bet they are fun to look back through. My mom showed me some older calendars. We had fun looking at weather extremes. :)
In Entrusted, I used a similar idea when people visited the hunting cabin deep in the woods. That was inspired by my friend from college. Her family still keeps a diary like that, and every visit, every guest must write something when they are there. I love that idea!
Thank you, Teresa! You are so right. Finding my future husband that day was definitely not on my calendar. God knows what’s best! Have a great weekend!
Thank you, Kimberly! That means so much because I love your writing. I haven’t used it yet in any of my books. I have a new six book series I’m starting, so I have the opportunity!
Thank you Chanel, what a beautiful name! A journal is a fantastic idea!
Katie,
That’s an easy thing to do! I can be the same way. I put sermon notes in mine and often forget where I put my planner when it’s time to leave for church!
Andrea,
I love it! Those are precious memories you are able to re visit time and time again.
Thank you, Lucy! Have a blessed weekend!
Hi, Candi!
My problem now is I feel like I need the same instinct with our kids and I look at everyone around my children wondering if they are “calendar worthy.” :)
Thanks for sharing your story. I do mark important dates on my calendar, but I realized I don’t have the precise date I first met my husband.. though I know roughly when that happened and i could probably look it up. Thanks for the idea.
Thank you, Shannon! What a special day that will be when you can write that info on your calendar regarding your son.
Priscila,
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading!
Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing your story!
I have a calendar where I keep track of birthdays and anniversaries but I don’t include other important dates on it.
Happy Anniversary. Thanks for sharing your story. I do use a calendar for important dates such as grandkids birthdays and when I last dyed my hair! If I only remembered to actually put those dates in and then look at the calendar! Looking forward to your book.
Hi Julia Happy Anniversary and Thank you for this lovely story yes I put important dates on my calendar so I don’t forget them! Thank you for this awesome giveaway!
My mother kept calendars for years and years.
She would write down everything and I do mean everything.
What she had to eat that day, how she was feeling, what was going on in her life, and ours also.
When she died, we 3 “girls” split up the calendars.
They are a piece of our Mom written in her handwriting and we cherish each and everyone.
Your post reminds me of my mom’s saying “Write this day down on the calendar!” She used it as a joke, but I do still keep a paper calendar. I found myself writing my son’s milestones on it. “Last night in high chair,” or whatnot. I also write down events, vacations, and appointments. I keep my calendars but very rarely go back and look at them. If I do, It’s like taking a trip back in time.
Anything I want to go to gets put on the calendar or I forget about it. My husband keeps track of when he mowed the grass but that’s certainly not earth-moving like meeting up with your soul mate. Congratulations on 22 years.
What a great story! Thank you for sharing.
When I began reading, I thought it was the first chapter ~ which it turned out to be, but… not fictional!
“I can’t believe it, but on this day 22 years ago, I was upstairs in our church loft, wedding gown on, ready to walk down the aisle, watching guests arrive and park across the street as I peeked out the small window.”
What great visuals! I loved your true story. Thank you, and I would like to read your series! Kathleen ~ Lane Hill House
P.S. Oops, almost forgot ~ I keep a monthly overview calendar for appointments, special times ahead, birthdays, and get-togethers with friends and food. :)
I used to do those little moments, but by the time our fourth kid arrived it had fallen by the way side. There are some neat memories in those calendars!
Great story. My calendar includes notes such as: 12 chicks born, cows need shots, and lost 2 bunnies today. Farm life highlights.
That is amazing. So many memories :)
Thanks for reading, Jackie!
I used to do that as well. I need to get back to it.
Thank you, Paula! I never thought of writing down hair info. I should do that!
You’re welcome, Sarah!
Janet,
You bring up an excellent point I didn’t blog about, handwriting. My dad had a couple work related journals I guess where he wrote a couple things in it. It was such a treat to see his handwriting. The same for birthday cards from my in-laws. These things are precious. It’s a good thought to start writing things down if only for our family when we are gone.
Mandy, especially as your son grows, it will be extra special to look back. You’ll be so glad you did it!
Thank you, Kathleen for reading! My husband would joke that the first paragraph was me being dramatic, haha. What I found funny after seeing this go live was I was so firm on padding the wedding day when it was me being late that led us to each other!
Susan,
I bet there are neat memories. I know it’s hard to do after the first child. Thanks for reading!
Patti,
That would have been my dad! Those are still important to write down! Have a great weekend!
I love my calendar! and put many important things on it. I haven’t had the pleasure of putting my children’s future spouses on it. That may come in a few years. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s cool to see how God works in each person’s life and how certain pieces needed to be put into place so that you did finally meet the phantom child. :)
Love!
Arletta,
Yes! I found out the phantom child is very real and an answer to prayer. Have a great weekend!
I still record important things on a paper calendar, and I use a paper planner. Inking things down make them real to me.
Loved reading your story! Oh, yes, I put important things on my calendar, especially things I would like to remember. I also keep a journal. I loved reading my grandmother’s, even if it was about what they planted, how much rain they had, what they ate, etc.
I used to be really good about putting things on the calendar not so much now. I forget to write things down
That’s great, Denise! I love seeing my mom’s paper calendar when I visit.
That’s a treasure to read through journals like that. Much of what my mom has written is the first snow, hot temps, and then events like when I met Tom. It really is fascinating to read through.
I am the same! Every year I start strong, and by summer, I start forgetting.
Happy Anniversary! I put important things on my calendar and notebook.
What a fun story! I do put things on a calendar. Usually scheduling things, but occasionally those moments or happenings so that I will remember when. I also take lots of pictures and since those are digitally time stamped, I have referred back several times to see what date something actually occurred.
Thank you, Emma! That’s a great thing, I’m seeing through these comments even our handwriting for our family is a beautiful thing to leave.
Brittany,
Pictures are such a great way to preserve a memory. I use the app Timehop and that really has brought back beautiful memories. Also, when my laptop behaves badly and deletes things, Timehop brings it back so I can save it again.
What a great story!
Happy Anniversary!!
Blessings~
(Don’t enter me as I recently purchased the e-book.)
What a sweet love story! Blessings to your family!!!