“All the feels.” That’s what we all want from a good Christian romance, right? We want to feel the tension of two characters who seem to face insurmountable obstacles on the way to their happily ever after. I want to feel their joys and their fears and even their sorrows right along with them. And I definitely want to feel the love (anyone else suddenly have “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” from the Lion King in their head?). Bonus points if the story makes me physically feel along with the characters: we’re talking dry mouth, pounding heart, breath held, stomach swooping, tears gushing kind of feelings.
Emotions are a huge part of romance—and of life. And even though there are some emotions we’d rather avoid experiencing, I don’t think any of us would like to go through life as robots. Even Jesus felt deep emotions: he wept at Lazarus’s grave, he showed righteous anger toward the money changers in the temple, he sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane.
And yet, even as I read—and write—romance, I have to remember that love is about more than a feeling. While it feels wonderful to fall in love, love also takes work. Love doesn’t mean we’ll never have disagreements, it doesn’t mean we’ll never see our loved one’s faults, it doesn’t mean the sky will always be blue and filled with flying unicorns (though my daughter would totally love that!). Love does mean that when we have disagreements, we’re willing to talk about them; when we see our loved one’s faults, we’re willing to overlook them or help them overcome them (in a loving way); when the skies are gray, we’re willing to offer words of comfort and even to clean up the messes the flying unicorns leave behind.
Even more important than remembering that love is more than a feeling, I think, is remembering that faith is more than a feeling. The Bible tells us that “faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). And we have that confidence and that assurance even when we don’t “feel” it. We are not saved only when we feel saved. God is not with us only when we feel him with us. God doesn’t hear our prayers only when we feel like he’s listening. Even the peace that God gives us is more than a feeling: it is a peace that “transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7), a peace that is with us even when our emotions are roiling inside us.
May you rest in that peace as we enter this new year!
This might take the prize for the hardest question I’ve ever come up with, but I’m going to ask it anyway … if you had to choose, would you prefer a book that makes you laugh or one that makes you cry?
Valerie M. Bodden has three great loves: Jesus, her family, and books. And chocolate (okay, four great loves). She writes emotion-filled Christian fiction that weaves real-life problems, real-life people, and real-life faith. Her characters may (okay, will) experience some heartache along the way, but true to her tendencies as a hopeless romantic, she will always give them a happy ending. Valerie is living out her happily ever after in Wisconsin with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their four children. Visit her at www.valeriembodden.com to get a free story.
Definitely one that makes me laugh – reading romance is an escape from reality
I prefer a touch of humor.
I want a book that makes me cry with happiness after having made me laugh several parts of the way. There is something special about stories that can make you cry without necessarily being tragic / sad.
It depends on if I’m in a thoughtful mood at the time, but even a story that makes me cry has to have a HEA!! Other times it definitely needs to be a comedy, so laughter can be the best medicine!!
Thinking about it, I’d say more than half of my reading tends to the laughter side.
I love this post. Feelings can be fun and empowering, but they can lead us astray. I’m so grateful that God gives us more than feelings to depend on.
That is a hard question. I don’t mind a book that makes me cry if it has a happy ending. If it ends in despair, then no thank you. Books that make me laugh are okay, but not if they’re shallow and silly all the way through.
I’d rather have a book that makes me laugh and cry. :-) And ends happily.
I like a little of both to laugh and cry. After all we cry when we,re happy.
I love scripture because it helped us know that hearing God’s voice we know he is there.
Laughing is the best but the books that are heart-wrenching-big-cry stories stay with me much longer than humor.
I’ve got to go with a book that makes me laugh.
It depends on my mood
I can understand that! Thanks for your input!
Ideally both for sure! :) What a blessing that God gives us his Word through Scripture.
Hi Valerie! Interesting question. Loving the responses. I have to say what I read depends on my mood. When the weather is sunny and bright and life is a bowl of cherries – I don’t mind reading a sad book or watching a movie that makes me cry. But often after the holidays, with gloomy cold drizzly depressing weather, I need something that makes me laugh. So often I change genre. I read more cozy mysteries or non fiction. Or at times I take a month break from reading. Best wishes.
I have to say I prefer reaching for a story I think will make me laugh, but some of the ones that made me cry have stuck with me far longer!
I prefer books that make me cry then laugh
I would prefer one of that makes me cry
Touches of humor are always fun!
That’s true! I’m not generally a happy crier, so if a book can make me happy cry, I know it was special. :)
I agree, even stories that make you cry have to have an HEA–and often, that HEA is all the sweeter for the hardship the characters have been through.
Thanks, Milla! And I completely agree that though I enjoy a book that can make me laugh, it has to go deeper than just silliness all the way through. A book that can make me both laugh and cry will always win for me (which makes the question I asked totally unfair, lol). And it definitely needs a happy ending!
Yes! I agree that when I look back at the books that have had the biggest impact on me and stayed with me the longest, it’s the ones that have broken my heart and then put it back together again. I really love when books like that have some touches of humor too.
That’s great to know! Thanks for sharing!
That’s fair! Some days you need to laugh; other days, a good cry is in order.
I’d rather a book that does both! I’ve read quite a few that do that, too!! I have to say, the ones that make me cry are few and far between!! The ones that make me laugh out loud are a lot more numerous, and they aren’t even Rom Com’s!!
Yes, our mood can have a big influence on what we read! Those gray, gloomy days of winter can be hard enough without adding anything sad to the mix. Sometimes a different genre can hit the spot.
That’s just it! I think there’s a place for both, and sometimes what we think we want might be different from what actually impacts us the most. It makes me think of Persuasion, where Anne advises Captain Benwick to read a little less poetry and a little more prose because he’s always so morose (sorry, I just watched this with my daughter for probably the third time in less than a year, so it’s on my mind, lol).
Yes! The best is when those two emotions are woven together well!
I have to agree with you! As much as I love to laugh, I think books that make me cry just strike me more deeply overall and stay with me much longer. I know it’s a good book when I keep thinking about it days or even years later.
Both is definitely the best, especially when they go from one emotion to the other seamlessly. I agree that laughter can go beyond romcoms. I especially love when an emotional book has light moments and witty dialogue to relieve some of the tension of the deeper moments.
Hi Val! I agree with everyone who say they like both. Though I am the type of person who laughs and jokes all the time (news flash, right?) I do spend plenty of time in tears as well. It seems like the most powerful and generally the times that have taught and grown me the most are tearful ones. I love to read stories that I can relate to so tears kind of come with the territory. I do believe these stories need to have balance with plenty of laughter throughout as well. I think there is a place for the heavy but books with just that are more in the non-fiction. Personally I like my fictional stories to have a balance. I also believe your writing shows this very well! I love the way you always have a large spiritual message in your writing yet there are many underlying messages ‘between the lines’. It shows your talent as a writer. It’s also a good reason I do editing and NOT writing!
Hi Valerie,
I do like a little of both. I do like to read books that make me laugh, and I also like to read books that move me and make me cry.
Thanks for your post!
That’s such a good point about reading stories we can relate to, so tears are going to come with the territory. I think that’s so true. But we definitely need that balance–all tears all the time would be hard to take. Thanks so much for your sweet words about my books. I try hard to find that balance but sometimes it’s hard to know if I’ve achieved it. Your encouragement is always such a blessing to me!
Variety is always good! Either in different books depending on our mood or woven together in the same book.
Instantly I thought Laugh but that is the quick answer. It really does depend on how I am at the time. for example I read a book that had a scene where someone had forgotten what their mothers voice sounded like and it was exactly how I was feeling at the time so I cried but the book also had lots of funny parts. On another occasion I wouldn’t have cried.
There are books others consider tear jerkers or talk about parts where they cried and I am like what did I miss or It didn’t make me sad so I think it can depend on our circumstances when we are reading. I know I have laughed where others haven cos we all see things differently (like when you are reading something and have done the same thing at the time it wouldn’t be funny but when I remember it makes me laugh)
So I think I prefer a laugh especially if I am feeling sick or in a difficult time but when I am feeling ok either works. (I know long answer that is probably quite confusing)
I love to read a book that gives me both feelings, it seems more realistic to me, especially if it is a romance book. I enjoyed reading your post, thank you so much.
I would have to say one that makes me cry. If a book hits that cord inside of me, it is one that will stay with me a long time. I may forget a book that made me laugh. Thank you for sharing. God bless you. Happy New Year.
Your answer isn’t confusing at all, don’t worry! I think you’re completely right that even the books that make someone laugh or cry will depend on the person and their circumstances at the time they’re reading the book. Sometimes, the more closely we can relate, the more we might cry (or laugh, if it’s a funny experience we’ve been through too).
I agree that feeling both is what makes a book realistic–life is full of both ups and downs, and we can’t really ignore either one.
Yes! At least for me, it takes a lot more to make me cry than to make me laugh, so when a book makes me feel deeply enough to cry, I know it will stick with me for a long time.
I like both!! I couldn’t pick between them unless one didn’t interest me.
I would always pick one that makes me laugh unless it’s the books my wife is writing about our real lives .
I know what you mean! It was a totally unfair question, lol!
That’s interesting! But I do think stories about real life are all the more powerful with those hard moments in them.
I think feeling either emotion while reading means the reader is invested in the story and the characters lives. I think I’d like one that makes me cry because it’s a deeper connection to what’s happening in the book and the lessons will stick with me longer. Even though I hate crying, lol! But it’s those type of stories that always have more meaning for me. On that note, I’d prefer it too end with a smile on my face and not feeling depressed because it’s a sad ending.
I completely agree that feeling either emotion means we’re invested in the characters and their lives, but I do think that when I am moved to cry for a character, it’s a deeper connection and lasts longer (even though I’m not the biggest fan of crying in real life, either!). But it seems like the happy ending is more meaningful after you’ve been through those moments with the character.
Can it be both? Cry and laugh :)
I think it has to be both, right! It was a totally unfair question, lol. :)