Recently, I posted a meme on my social media accounts that included my “real-life romance tropes.” One of my followers commented it sounded like a good book, which got me thinking. I’m not a memoir writer, but if I did, my life with my husband does have the makings of an interesting story…single dad, love triangle, workplace romance, age gap. We certainly hit a lot of the big ones all in one fell swoop!
We didn’t start out as solid as we are twenty-four years into our marriage. In fact, part of my testimony is that my husband and I would, without a doubt, be divorced right now, if not for God. He orchestrated such a beautiful redemption story that it could only have been Him. When I look back on our early years, it is with such regret for the time we lost when we could have been so much happier in life and with each other.
Doug and Me around 2005
Both of us grew up Christian. That looks different for everyone, and I don’t want to disparage any one denomination or practice, so suffice it to say, my relationship with God growing up was a lot different from now. I knew all the stuff, but I didn’t have a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I didn’t even really know what that looked like.
When I got my first boyfriend at seventeen, I held onto my faith for a while. He was a non-believer, but I still lived with my parents, and church was a big part of our lives. After my senior year, my parents moved away from my hometown, and I declined to move away myself. Spring Arbor University, a Christian college about two hours away from my boyfriend, had accepted me, but I didn’t want to be that far away. I went to a local community college instead.
Those were some difficult times for me emotionally. I was on my own for the first time, even though I lived with an aunt, and I slowly fell away from the faith I had held for my entire childhood. After one semester, I dropped out of college and moved to be with my parents again.
After two years, my relationship with my boyfriend, who by that time was my fiancé, fell apart. At the same time, I worked with a man whose marriage had also just fallen apart, and unbeknownst to me, my meddling baby sister told him I was interested in him. At first, I wasn’t…lol. When I found out, right before I broke up with my ex, a manager at our job pulled me aside, and she basically told me I could do better than I had with my boyfriend, who also worked with us. I wasn’t sure whether I liked Doug, but she reminded me that, even if I didn’t, I still had options.
When we got together, neither of us was living a Christian life. We spent the first years of our marriage miserable and fighting. It would have made a very angsty book! When our son was about five, one of Doug’s coworkers invited us to his wedding. That wedding changed everything for us. The couple were so obviously very in love, and their ceremony was worshipful and full of faith. We both walked out of that church saying, “We need to get back to church.”
Thank God for the chiropractor I had started seeing because of health issues I had from work. He invited us to his church, and there, we both learned how to have a personal relationship with Jesus for the first time. There is so much more to our story that I can’t fit into a blog post, but I am ever grateful for the way God orchestrated my romance.
Doug and Me Christmas 2022
Since a wedding played such a big part in the trajectory of my life, they hold a special place in my heart. I have loved researching themes for each of the weddings in my books, and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of writing them.
So, how about you, readers? Is there something from your own testimony about how God has changed you that means a lot to you that you’d like to share with me today? I’m especially partial to lost sheep stories (like my hero, Chris in A Heart to Redeem), having been one myself, but I’d love to hear about anything you think will put a smile on my face!
Judith McNees lives in Michigan, where she enjoys spending time hiking with her kids and breaking out into random songs to annoy them. She loves to travel, and visiting all 50 states with her husband is at the top of her bucket list. She has a B.A. in English from Western Michigan University and is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers.
Hi Judith! Hubby and I just celebrated our Golden Anniversary. We met in college! Tropes – love triangle, opposites attract and long distance romance. Yes, we had our ups and down, but love and commitment is a choice – till death due us part. When we met he was studying premed. Then he became a believer and went from healing bodies, to healing souls (pastor). Growing up in a small church in wasn’t sure that was my calling, but we served for 30 years. Best wishes!
I love that your husband underwent such an impactful life change when he met Jesus that he even changed his career. We went through something similar in that we were fostering dogs before our return to our faith, and once Jesus changed us, we fostered children instead! Thanks for your comment.
Thank you for sharing your own story, I always think it’s so wonderful how God can use the people in our lives (like your chiropractor!) for good.
I don’t think my story is so interesting, I wasn’t a completely lost sheep, more a sheep who was going through the motions and going to church each week as much out if habit as anything- it’s really in the last few years my personal relationship with Jesus’s has grown, and I thank God for the people he put into my life who helped me on this path.
I agree. It’s so amazing to me that God’s redemption plan includes flawed people. It has always given me hope, even in the times I feel completely inadequate. Thanks for your comment!
My comment below was meant to go to you,Ruthie.. Sometimes when I reply from my phone, it doesn’t post as a comment for some reason.
Did you post this on tiktok because I literally just saw it (or something just like it) on my fyp?! If so, can you share your tiktok account and I’ll make sure I’m following you! You can find me as @jenniferarrington_author.
I’m actually not on Tik Tok. Just Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, but I almost never use the Twitter account. 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks for sharing your story! I totally CAN’T relate, as I never strayed. I’ve also never married, so there’s that, too. God’s plan was that I would be available and still living at home to help Mom with my Daddy before he passed away, and then to be home for Mom as her full-time caregiver for the last 9 years of her life, though. For about the last year she would tell me (and others!) that God gave me to her because He knew she would need me. That’s what’s gotten me through my grief process, knowing that I did my best taking care of her.
That’s beautiful Trudy. I’m glad you had that precious time with them. Thank you for sharing!
Judith, what a wonderful real life story. I love when God reveals himself through other people. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing how God turned you and Doug back to Him.
Some of my story is scary similar to yours except I married my long distance boyfriend during a period away from God. We divorced. But God brought me back to Him and then to my hubby of 23 years. Our marriage is an example of God redeeming both of us as individuals and leading us to each other in His perfect timing.
Thank you for sharing. I cannot think of anything. God bless you.
I love that. What a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by Debra!