Merry CHRISTmas to all the IR readers! I’ve had a couple chats regarding the season and many of you, myself included, are dragging. It’s been a tough year and digging deep to celebrate has been a chore. For me, being intentional about the birth of Christ and spending time reading and in prayer hasn’t been the hard part. It’s the traditions and shopping. I’m just not feeling it yet.
What I am feeling is all things romance. Although my growing up years included reading all those 80’s teen romances and crying over Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink, I come across in person as stoic. When my husband proposed, I didn’t cry. My roommate called my mom to tell her before I had the chance. I’m working to not appear as robotic, but I’m not overly emotional.
Lately though, I’ve been full of swoon (is that a thing? I feel like it is.) thanks to my husband. Because of a family emergency, we were apart for the better part of six weeks. Honestly, it felt much longer for both of us. For me, I had a lot of fast decisions to make and face so much of the unknown. I was homesick. When I returned, Tom offered, and continues to offer his full support.
There are days he doesn’t know if he’ll be greeted by a wife that barely slept, or a woman on the verge of tears. The emotions are coming out and it doesn’t feel natural, but I know for a healthy healing, I need to process it all. Tom’s been there for it all. He’s also announced he learned in the time apart he enjoys doing dishes and has taken the bulk of that on. I mean, WOW.
Reuniting with him reminds me of my current hero and heroine in Anchoring Hearts, coming this winter. This is my first romance where they have lots in common, almost too much. I’m used to writing opposites attract with the female usually the “alpha” character. Anchoring Hearts features Jordyn Hart and Spencer Collins, two morning show anchors who are drawn to each other but have control issues. They are both oldest siblings known to be protective of family. Addiction plays a part in their life story, but for different reasons and results. And for that, the two can’t seem to catch a break to end up together.
Tom and I are introverts who enjoy technology and action movies. It’s weird as a romance author I’d choose any Fast and Furious movie over a rom-com, unless it’s The Proposal. We have more in common than not, and when I worried that having two characters with a lot in common would be a turn-off, I remember the encouragement we receive for our marriage. People enjoy visiting us because they know our home is quiet and safe. We want people to feel welcome and loved, and achieve it with our similar style. He’s had my back during this season because he knows what I need and consistently fed me affirming words and hugs.
In the case of Jordyn and Spencer, there are conflicts and rising stakes that have my critique partners excited to turn the pages.
Years ago I heard financial counselor Larry Burkett share that “if you both have everything in common, one of you is unnecessary.” I ask, when it comes to reading romance, do you agree? Do you enjoy the total opposites and their firefights, or the sparks between two with things in common?
I’d love for you to meet the Hart family by enjoying my free preview of the SurrenderingHeart series PLUS a sneak peek at Anchoring Hearts. Each Hart sextuplet will have their own story, and just because they are family doesn’t mean they have everything in common. I really think you’re going to enjoy this family. You can learn more and download it HERE.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year. In the name of Jesus, I believe the best is yet to come. Amen!
Julie Arduini loves to encourage readers to surrender the good, the bad, and ---maybe one day---the chocolate. She’s the author of ENTRUSTED: Surrendering the Present, as well as ENTANGLED: Surrendering the Past. The last book in the series, ENGAGED: Surrendering the Future, is coming soon. She also shares her story in the infertility devotional, A WALK IN THE VALLEY. She also blogs every other Wednesday for Christians Read. She resides in Ohio with her husband, two children, and chocolate stash. Learn more by visiting her at http://juliearduini.com.
I think that having more in common makes for a strong connection.
Oh, is Larry Burkett the source of that quote? I’ve heard it as “if you agree on everything, one of you is unnecessary” but didn’t know where it came from! Six weeks is a long time to be apart. I’m glad you’re home again.
I like all types! I like when they go from enemies to friends to more, but I also like when they have a lot in common and build on each other’s strengths, anyway. I’m having a hard time with Christmas, too, since Mom just passed. Not sure what I’m going to do yet. I don’t want to bring out any Christmas stuff, as we always did that together.
Mary,
I agree! I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
Valerie, Yes! Before I ever heard of Dave Ramsey, we were daily listeners to Larry’s radio show. He said that nearly every day. I never forgot that quote.
Trudy,
I’m so sorry about your mom. I know the first year without my dad we didn’t do anything we used to on holidays. We needed time to grieve. Know you remain in my prayers.
I loved writing Entrusted because Ben and Jenna were enemies who became friends. Writing Jordyn and Spencer is new, but I’m having fun building their story.
May Jesus continue to comfort you.
I like both kinds of stories.
You are truly blessed.
I always say if we were all the same it would be boring…but you have to have some things in common or it could get ugly…. praying for you!
I’m more of a friends to love kinda girl. Seeing how the couple work together on outside conflicts or help strengthen the other’s weaknesses is always a draw for me in romances (but then, I’m a non-conflict person Lol). Thanks for the topic and love how your husband doesn’t mind “stepping up” for you! That’s real love in action!
That’s good to know, Merrillee!
Thank you, Carol. I believe it!
You’re absolutely right, Paula! Thank you for the prayers. Merry Christmas!
Angela,
That’s interesting to know. I like knowing what draws readers in and keeps them there! Yes, I am so thankful for him. He’s been such a blessing. Merry Christmas!
I lean toward friends to more just because, like Angela, I’m a low conflict person. But both approaches work for me. It’s handy to remember that the opposite of love isn’t anger or hate, it’s indifference. The real opposites attract story would be someone who is drawn to someone who doesn’t care. On that happy note, Merry Christmas!
Julie, have a blessed Christmas!
I just answered this in another author’s newsletter! :D
I think that opposites in personality actually work together. Every couple I know in real life has one who is more of a talker, who is more of an extrovert, and the other is quieter, an introvert. No two people are exactly alike, even those with similar personalities. So there will always be conflict and sparks. I do strongly believe that having similar core values is important. Sparks might get them together, but it’s the similarities that will keep a couple together (differences that attracted at the beginning can begin to annoy).
We are a lot alike and it makes a strong bond in my opinion. Merry Christmas 🎁🎄
I like all kinds of stories, characters and genres. Variety is the spice of life. Merry Christmas to all, and Happy New Year 2021.
Amen. I love the sound of your books, I love stories about families and yours sounds like a perfect book for me and that I would Love to read. Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, it is always nice to have a person that truly understands us. Have a Great weekend and stay safe.
Even opposites have to have things in common.
I don’t like them so opposite that they can’t work together or always fight about something, but I don’t like them so alike that they mimic each other either. I love a good balance of the two. I enjoy a couple who can make their differences their strength & recognize the areas that they are opposite and accept the other person as they are. It’s hard to to in real life sometimes, but I think a couple who love one another can find ways to work together.
I know for my husband and I, whenever one is weak in an area, the other is strong in and vise versa. Reminds me of scripture that says something to that effect. We’ve found ways to celebrate our differences and learned to accept each other as God made us to be. :-)
I enjoy various tropes – Opposites, Friends to More, 2nd Chances. Lots of drama & angst between the characters exhaust me, though (as an introvert that prefers less conflict) so I always hope the conflict is external – distance relationship/military, bad weather or danger/avalanche, or an outside person – and it’s that outside conflict that brings the couple closer.
How sweet that your husband stepped up and offered to pick up the dishes for you. A nice , thoughtful gift.
Lincoln,
I love what you wrote, “It’s handy to remember that the opposite of love isn’t anger or hate, it’s indifference.” So true.
Merry CHRISTmas to you, too!
Natalya,
You have a blessed Christmas as well. I’m so thankful for your faithful participation here at IR.
Lila,
That’s true, no one has absolutely everything in common. My husband and I are ten years apart, so our music choices differ, as well as our strengths. You’re also right, those differences in the beginning can get old, fast!
Merry CHRISTmas!
Lucy,
Good for you! Strong bonds are important. Merry CHRISTMAS to you!
Sandra,
We’re grateful for readers like you. We try to please everyone and know we can’t. It’s nice knowing we can count on you.
Have a blessed, blessed CHRISTmas season and 2021!
Alicia,
Thank you for the encouragement! Stay tuned, I will be talking more about Anchoring Hearts as it is ready to release! Have a very Merry CHRISTMAS!
Denise,
Yes, like their attraction to each other! LOL. Have a Merry CHRISTMAS!
Trixi,
What a blessing for you and your husband. You’ve got a great perspective. Have a Merry CHRISTMAS!
Penelope,
I love those tropes as well. I find as well if there is so much drama and angst, I start to wonder if the characters are likeable.
I think you’ll enjoy my new series, the conflicts for each book are ones we can all relate to.
Have a Merry CHRISTmas!
I like to read books with characters falling in love with more in common. It is a good way to start a friendship.
I like to read books with characters falling in love with more in common. It is a good way to start a friendship. Merry Christmas, Julie.