So here’s something that’s been on my mind as I’ve been working on my latest series: does fictional romance perpetuate the problem of people deciding they’re in love before they’ve gotten the chance to really know one another? (Which, in real life, can lead to problems down the line.)
I know, I know, fiction isn’t real. I don’t have a problem with that – but I wonder sometimes if other people today do struggle with it. And, if they do, do authors have a responsibility to avoid adding to that struggle? Or is it a personal issue that people need to take charge of themselves?
Maybe I should back up and explain where the quandary comes from. As you know, if you’ve read a romance novel ever (which theoretically you all do, because, well, you’re here), at the end you have the happily ever after which typically takes the form of a proposal. Sometimes they continue on to the actual wedding, but generally it’s the proposal. Books, being what they are, generally span only a few months of fictional time. (Obviously this isn’t a hard and fast rule. There are plenty of books – romances even – that cover large quantities of time. I’m probably not including those in my question.) So, if the hero and heroine meet in chapter one (or thereabout) and they don’t know each other from before, is it reasonable to always having them even declaring their love for one another (let alone getting engaged) by the end of a three-month time frame covered in the book?
I guess I don’t mind it happening now and then. Because it happens in life now and then, too. Sometimes, I really believe you do just know. But should it be the exception rather than the rule?
I’m not sure I have an easy answer – but I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Elizabeth Maddrey is a semi-reformed computer geek and homeschooling mother of two who lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. When she isn’t writing, Elizabeth is a voracious consumer of books. She loves to write about Christians who struggle through their lives, dealing with sin and receiving God’s grace on their way to their own romantic happily ever after.
Great topic, Elizabeth. I may be biased because I am a romance writer, but before that I was, and of course still am, a romance reader. I LOVE romance, but that doesn’t cause me to make bad decisions in my personal life.
Do I think some people struggle with separating fiction from reality? Absolutely! But, that is a “personal problem” in my opinion. Writers of fiction should not be held accountable for the poor choices that readers may or may not make. It is very clear our books are fiction and not reality.
As far as a proposal goes or an “I love you” by the end of a romance book, I don’t think it’s necessary. As a reader, I’m content just to know they will be together. As a writer though, I have been asked by my editor to include a proposal at the end of a story.
Love your thoughts on this, Elizabeth! As a writer, I do struggle sometimes with how quickly a relationship may need to unfold so a story doesn’t drag. Because of that, I find I tend to write romances where the characters have some sort of history together, although with the one I’m currently working on that is not the case. I also write in series so instead of having the proposal or wedding at the end of each book, that is something that can happen in future books in the series. As a reader, I don’t need a proposal or wedding at the end of the book, but I do need to feel confident that the couple is going to make it. Either because they’ve shown they can work through issues together or because they acknowledge that they still need to work together on issues that may arise in the future. I agree that sometimes it can happen as quickly as some romance novels portray, but I do think readers need to be able to separate fiction from real life.Just like those CSI-type shows where stuff happens way quicker than it would in real life.Books/television/movies–views/readers need to understand the limitations of the medium and not try to fit real life within those limitations.
I know in my head that fiction isn’t reality, but I do think that fiction should imitate reality. I’m not talking about sci-fi or fantasy or some comedy. Those are definitely not representing reality and we all know that. When I read a regular fiction book I expect it to be very close to real life and get disappointed when the author exaggerates and makes the characters over the top in looks, words, and actions. To me, great book characters are like friends and I would be embarrassed if my human friends did this stuff in real life. Also, I want to be able to recommend these books to people. I wouldn’t want the book to be a bad reflection on God or us. I agree with you about the romance in three months. Those thoughts have crossed my own mind when reading some romance books. I read one where the couple met one day and were engaged by the second day! I don’t mind if the author says “the summer passed” or ” six months passed with them dating”. I wish more authors would throw that in the book to make it more realistic.
KRJ, I think those series books are the best. If we love the characters we don’t mind reading a whole series about them! The relationship definitely is more realistic when it stretches out over a series. Robin Jones Gunn’s Christy Miller and Katie Weldon series are good examples of this. Other ones are the Cheney Duvall, M.D. series by Lynn Morris and the Million Dollar Mystery Series by Mindy Starns Clark. Dani Pettrey had a different take on this with the Alaskan Courage series. Each book starts the romance/friendship of the couple who are main characters in the following book. That way she can have enough time for character/relationship development, as well as, good mystery plot development.
Kimberly, I’m a big romance reader as well and so I tend to agree with you on the “personal problem” issue. I started thinking about the topic because of a big discussion about swearing in Christian fiction and how, as Christian authors, we shouldn’t ever use language that would cause someone to stumble (the theory being that being exposed to the language makes it easier to say if that’s something you struggle with.) It got me thinking – how far do we take that? How far *should* we take that? And how do we reconcile our own personal freedom with the chance of making other sisters stumble?
KRJ – that’s a great way to phrase it — “Feeling confident that the couple is going to make it” I like that.
I’ve typically used couples that new each other previously to skirt around the issue. Or I’ve included a time jump (the …one year later kind of thing). With my latest series, I’ve had to play with a different ending and I hope that my readers are happy with confidence that they’ll make it combined with the fact that it’s book 1 in a series so they’ll get to see the couple some more. :)
Thanks, Sylvia, for sharing your thoughts! It’s good to know you don’t mind the time passing jumps in books either. I always feel a little bad when I do that :)
I see you point, Elizabeth, and I am very sensitive about this issue. I never want to cause another person to stumble. I am very careful how I write my stories and although my characters may fall in love in a rather short period of time, weddings don’t happen unless the people knew each other pre-story or they take place a year later in the epilogue.
I have a huge issue with cussing in Christian books. I don’t cuss, and I don’t want to read it. But in regard to your original question about causing readers to make poor choices because of reading a romance book, I don’t see it being the norm.