I’ve heard it said that being a friend or family of a writer can be a little unnerving. Something about being afraid they’ll end us as a character.
That’s probably because one of the most well-known pieces of advice for writers is “write what you know.”
So is that really what writers do? Make stories out of their real life experiences?
No, and yes. So maybe, maybe not.
Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I don’t write my stories based on real life. However, I do tend to take bits of real life and include them in my stories.
I write small-town Christian romances. Maybe that is “what I know”, but it’s also what I love. My small towns become a character of their own and play a role in the story in a big way because I love the small towns I’ve lived in. But that doesn’t mean that the town I write about is my town. Instead, there are bits and pieces of it that are inspired by many different places.
In my first series, the town of Pine Haven isn’t one particular town. Main Street looks a lot like the tiny town where I went to college. The restaurant “The Depot” is named after a spot near where I grew up, but the inside of it is totally made up.
It’s also important to know that if you’re friends with me, you’re not going to end up in my novel (unless you really want to!). But one of my characters may have a quirk that I saw in someone once or might have a favorite saying that I remember from my childhood. Sometimes I include things that have happened to me, but only as a small part of the story. And honestly, I don’t usually plan it. It’s typically things that come up in the character’s conversation. I’m typing away with “he said this” and “she said that,” and the next thing I know they’re telling a story from my life.
I believe using pieces of reality in fiction makes a story more authentic. Memories can be helpful for a writer because if I’ve had that experience I can really dig deep to describe how the character thinks and feels about it. I can have a character accurately describe how he feels after he’s in a car accident that he can’t control. I can tell you the sounds and smells of a southern diner on Saturday morning. I know the pain and agony of a sports injury. I’ve experienced family events with a large family.
So are my books real life stories? No, definitely not. I didn’t meet my husband in college. I didn’t lose my parents and raise my siblings, and I’ve never met a billionaire, or been skiing in Colorado. But I like to think that pieces of me and the people I love make it into my stories in a way that makes them believable. Trust me, there’s still plenty of imagination and made-up stuff in these books!
What do you think? If you were to write a book, would you start with an idea from your real life? Have you ever met someone that you thought would make a perfect book character?
Mary Preston says
My real life would not make for very interesting reading. I have seen people on the train while I was people watching, as you do, that I thought must have interesting lives.
Tabitha says
I was thinking of this same thing the other day! I see things from time to time that make me think, “Yep. That belongs in a book.” People are fascinating. My real life is rather boring so I have little fodder for book material.
Trudy says
I actually posted on FB something that happened to me last weekend, and told my author friends that some of them needed to include it in a book, and one of them just may do that later on!!
Mandi Blake says
I love your small towns, and as someone who lives in a small town, I think your representation is spot on.
Tiffany Tharpe says
I have always thought my parents’ love story would make a good romance novel. I would not include every detail, but the major concepts of how they met and fell in love.
Trixi says
If I were a writer, I’d probably be like you and take pieces from my life as a starting idea & then build a story from there. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a person that would make a perfect character, but maybe some part of their personality or a quirk would make for a great characteristic.
I’ve heard some authors say their characters tend to take on their own personalities in spite of how the author wants to shape them. :-) I love that! Because just like real people, the more you get to know someone, the more their true personalities come out. That means if the writer can connect with the characters in this way, so can we as readers :-) Win/win all the way!
Debra J Pruss says
I have never met someone that I would think would be a book character. I am not sure if I could write about a family or friend. I would be too afraid that I would hurt their feelings if I were to use something that they experienced in life. Thank you for sharing your time and talent. God bless you.
Natalya Lakhno says
Definitely! I’ve met so many people with stories that should end up in the book… Too bad I’m not a writer ;)
Hannah Jo Abbott says
I love to people watch! Back when we used to eat in restaurants (in normal life), my husband would point out other couples and make up stories about the kind of date they were on, lol.
Hannah Jo Abbott says
I agree, people are fascinating! It’s fun to take a tiny detail from life and create a character.
Hannah Jo Abbott says
So fun! Maybe it will show up in a book and it can be your secret that it really happened to you!
Hannah Jo Abbott says
Thank you! That means so much to me coming from you!
Hannah Jo Abbott says
Aww that’s sweet! When my dad proposed to my mom she made him wait four days for an answer. Ha! That’s a story!
Hannah Jo Abbott says
That is SO true! Sometimes my characters do or say something and I’m like, “Woah! Where did that come from?” But it makes them feel more real to me.
Hannah Jo Abbott says
Oh yes, there are so many wonderful stories in real life!
Lelia (Lucy) Reynolds says
Yes I think my mom’s life would make a wonderful book.
Ausjenny says
I use to go to a city and stay with friends of mums (I called her Mrs D) She was wonderful grandma like figure. She use to knit for a lady called Jenny Key who was a designer. We would be in the shopping centre waiting for something or (she may be waiting for me to go into a shop) and she people watched. She use to look at the jumpers/sweaters to see the different designs. She loved to see the different ideas. (She was also a dressmaker).
While I think now I have a boring life surrendered by cats I have gone on trips on my own, done bus tours on my own, went overseas on my own. I am sure there are things that could be used in a book. If I wrote a book I think some ideas may go in a book but it wouldn’t be my story as I am single.
Merrillee Whren says
I think all writers probably use experiences from their lives. I know I do. My husband crashed a plane once, and I used that in my book, Hometown Dad.
Hannah Jo Abbott says
What a wonderful memory! I’m glad you’ve had so many adventures. I had a great aunt who was never married, but she traveled all over and had so many interesting stories. She kept notes in a little calendar and I have the calendar from the year I was born where she wrote down my birthday. It’s a unique treasure and I’m so thankful for her story!
Hannah Jo Abbott says
Oh wow! That’s definitely a story to tell!
Lincoln says
I’ve written a novel and can testify to what you are saying. I tell my friends that it is not autobiographical but I have drawn from my own life experiences. The main character deals with depression stemming from the death of a twin and from work circumstances that were horrific. I don’t have a twin (dead or alive) but I have dealt with depression and had work issues that made it worse.
I chose to name a character in honor of a fellow I worked with many years ago. His initial description fit my friend but his development departed from the original pretty quickly.
The main character’s depression was similar in some ways to my own but I gave him a much better and more effective support system than what I had. It was my way of creating an ideal that appealed to me as a reader.
Part of the story was set in a work environment like my own and I drew some of the comic relief from actual events as well as some of my own invention.
The story is not a romance but there is a romantic sub-plot for two of the main characters. Their story grew in parallel with the main plot and really had no relation to any of my own experience.
Lastly there were a couple of points in the story where I realized that the next twist or perfect line came not from my planning but from an “Aha” moment that fit perfectly but I really couldn’t take any real credit for the gift. :-)
Dianne says
Writing is not my forte and if it was I think I would prefer to use habits, ideas, sayings from strangers rather than home so as not to intrude on anyone’s privacy.
Dianne says
Let me clarify, for me it would feel like I was presuming and intruding on my friends and families’ privacy and I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.
Tiffany Tharpe says
Oh my goodness. My mom made my Dad wait 3 days before giving him an answer. She told me she knew she wanted to marry him when he asked, but she was afraid of what her mama and daddy would say. He proposed to her on a Sunday afternoon and she made him wait till their next usual date time Wednesday night. What really gets me about their story is where they met. They met at a wake (back when people had them at their homes). My dad was bloodkin to the deceased person and my mother was related by marriage. What makes it amazing is that about 6 years later they bought that house where they met and raise their family in it. I still live here today. Also, in the words of my Dad he had to chase my mama for a year before she would agree to go out on a date. Again she said she wanted to date him but was afraid of what her parents would say because he was 8 years older than her. She was going to college at the time and he found out where she and her friends would go to eat lunch. He and his brother worked construction and they would try to go eat at the same place she did almost every day. My uncle told me one time that sometimes even if they were working in a town 40 miles away my daddy still wanted to go see her at the burger joint. I asked my mama one time what finally made her change her mind and she said my dad showed up at her house one day and told her it was the last time he was going to ask her out and kissed her for the first time. She said she felt that all the way to her toes and it gave her courage too ask her parents permission to go out. I guess she didn’t want to miss out on that feeling for the rest of her life.
Lisa R. Howeler says
The only thing I ever based on real-life for a story of mine was based on the true story of my great grandparents. Otherwise I do exactly what you do and pull a characteristic of a person, or something about the small towns I’ve lived in that I like, or maybe something that happened to someone I know that was funny – like someone dead usually in case they didn’t think it was funny ;)