Sometimes, in real life, relationships that started so well, go so wrong.
Sometimes, in fiction, relationships that started so well, go very wrong.
And sometimes, in both real life and fiction, those relationships can be restored.
As Christians, we believe that. We believe that when we submit to God and follow Him, He can do miracles in damaged lives. In damaged relationships.
That was the essence of Homestands, a story about a divorced couple that gets back together. There. I gave the ending away. But really this book is about how these two who’ve both hurt each other badly find their way back to each other.
They do it through God.
When Homestands first released, it came out in the Whispers of Love box set. Most of my loyal readers bought it there and left reviews on the box set’s page. So when Homestands released alone three months later with this gorgeous cover, the people who bought it didn’t know me.
And evidently didn’t know what kind of book they were reading.
If you look at Homestands‘s GoodReads reviews, you’ll see a lot of one-stars. Hateful, vitriolic, venomous one-stars. What didn’t they like? They hated that Meg, my heroine, forgave Mike, the hero, for what he did years ago that ended their marriage.
What he did was awful. Terrible. Hurtful. There’s no questioning that. Over and over these female readers were beyond angry that Meg forgave him, that she had to ask him forgiveness for things she did that were wrong too. Things that didn’t seem quite so bad as what he’d done. But things that, in this story, still contributed to the break-up.
These readers didn’t want forgiveness. They wanted revenge.
The response amazed me. Because who doesn’t want forgiveness for themselves? I know I do. I’m not perfect. I’ve wronged people. Hurt people. Sure, they might have hurt me too, but I alone have to answer for the things I do.
So why did they want, so very much, to read a book where the hero was destroyed in the end?
As far as I could tell, the difference came down to their beliefs about God. Or lack of belief in God, to be more accurate. These readers, by and large, did not seem to know Him.
And it drove home to me what a difference God makes in us when we become His children. He gives us a love for those around us. He gives us compassion and mercy. He gives us patience as we go through life. Sometimes we fail and don’t show it, but it’s there. And as we grow more like Him, the more a reflection of Him comes through.
That’s what happened in Homestands. These two characters became Christians after their divorce. God worked in them and molded them. And they both finally gave in to what God wanted them to do. And He healed their relationship.
Of course nothing is as it was before. There are always consequences that can’t be undone. We know that. We’ve experienced that. But choosing forgiveness instead of revenge, like God did for us, is something worth modeling in our own lives.
And in our fiction.
I hope the weight of unforgiveness isn’t holding you down. I hope for you and me that we’re following God’s Word in every area of our lives. Because when we fight God and do it our own way, we do it the wrong way.
Nothing good comes from that. Not in fiction. Not in real life.
What about you? Have you read any other books that deal with restored relationships? I’d love to hear your favorites
Sally Bradley writes big-city fiction with real issues and real hope. A Chicagoan since age five, Sally has been fascinated by all things Chicago (except for crime, politics, and traffic) for almost as long. She now lives in the Kansas City area with her family, but they get back to Chicago for important things -- like good pizza and a White Sox game. A freelance-fiction editor and former president of her writing chapter, Sally has won a handful of awards for Kept and another work-in-progress. Visit her online at sallybradley.com or on Facebook.
What a thoughtful post! How horrifying that people wanted revenge for the ending. I loved Homesteads, and found it a very ‘real’ story- which meant that it made me think about my own role in relationships and taking responsibility for my failures and how I have hurt others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts:)
Karen Kingsbury’s books “A Time to Dance” and “A Time to Embrace” are favourites with restored relationships, very powerful stories of tough relationships restored through the grace of God.
Keep writing:)
Hi Sally. Good grief, I’m sorry you had to weather the storm of harsh reviews. On the positive side, you obviously wrote a fantastic story if readers cared enough to get so fired up about fictional people. :-) Your post really makes me think about how much the world needs redemptive stories. I think Gone Girl is the only book I’ve read recently where I felt like two nasty fictional people deserved each other. Otherwise, particularly in the world of Christian fiction, I want to read a redemptive story, which means I crave novels featuring characters who have made mistakes and are wallowing in their messes. Because that’s the ideal canvas to paint a picture of hope and restoration, where characters do forgive one another and pursue a second chance. Excellent post. Keep writing the stories the world needs to read, my friend.
I think people generally loves stories of new love or second chance at love (without the divorce part). So when a story about a divorced couple comes around and it turns out he wronged her horrible, as women we don’t take kindly to forgiving him. But if we read with a complete Christian mind frame and know God’s law for forgiveness, we will see the true essence of what the book is about. So I say if they were divorced and eventually reconciled and it’s working, that’s a good thing because isn’t it a sin to be with another person if your husband (ex) is still alive? ? Just saying!!! And with the couple reconciling is it in God’s plan to give them both a second chance at love and making it right. What they’ve experience will allow them to grow even more with Christ.
Wonderful post, Sally. So true – we are called to forgive, even when it’s tough.
That’s really sad to hear. I’ve been reading a lot about forgiveness lately–I think I mentioned in a recent post my rediscover of Phillip Yancey’s What is So Amazing About Grace book, which focuses a lot on forgiveness. Also last year I attended a symposia on Health and Forgiveness which was such an intense, joint event of religious and scientific talks that won’t cease to amaze me (spiritual experience of forgiveness combined with data on health of people that forgive and those who can’t and look for revenge). I think the keynote speaker (Dr. Everett Worthington from the Universidade de Virgínia) has a lot of data on that in case anyone is interested.
As for books, I’ve read Autumn Macarthur’s Calm & Bright story (also about a divorced/separated couple who get back together) around the time Whispers of Love came out and it was really an intense reading that I think I skipped Homesteads all together (there’s only so much depth that I can take at once from emotional stories like that) that I probably need to go back to Whispers of Love and find out what else I haven’t read. (I’m not one to read stories in order and I usually balance out deep emotional and light reading, which unfortunately sometimes means I miss one or two stories, specially if I get more than one boxed set at once.)
I am an avid reader, but realize I have missed out on some great books! Need to read Homestands!!
You know, Wemble, I actually had to apologize to my husband today. :) Yep, we’ve always got to stay on top of our relationships. It doesn’t end. But taking care of those little things keeps them from getting to be big things.
I’ve read a lot of Karen Kingsbury–her Baxter family mostly–but those two I haven’t read. Thanks for the recommendation. I think I’ll pick those up when I need a new book. (Reading three books right now! )
Heidi, we think alike when it comes to fiction, for sure! Thanks for the encouragement. You keep writing too. :)
Colleen, you are so right that divorced scenarios can be hard to read about. That’s not necessarily a check mark for feel-good fiction, is it? :) But I like what you said about reading it with a Christian mind frame. And if we’re Christians and growing in Christ, we can’t read anything without a Christian mindset, can we? It’s amazing what a difference that makes in us.
Yes, and I’d forgotten that forgiving isn’t something we all can do or even think we should do in our own sinful self. Thanks, Autumn. :)
LOL, Priscila! I totally know what you mean about needing a break from deep, emotional stories. Have you ever read Linda Nichols? Her first three books were just totally amazing, but they were each so deep and rich that I had to read something different for a while after that. Yes, we can only take so much of gut-wrenching stories at a time!
Thank you, Jackie! I hope you enjoy the time with Mike and Meg.
Thanks for the post. Even Christians struggle with forgiveness, but God helps us in that regard. It is hard to forgive deep hurts on our own.
Man, we sure do struggle to forgive. It’s just not in our nature, is it?
Forgiving when we are hurt can be hard enough but forgiving when someone we love dearly has been hurt can be even harder. I really enjoy CF that deals with forgiveness and relationships. I ran across Kept by accident and was just blown away by how good it was and was soon recommending it to all of my friends. Then when Homestands was released I quickly ordered it and am now a true fan of Sally Bradley’s stories.
I recently read Becky Doughty’s “Waters Fall.” It’s not easy to read, but is very well written, and the couple survives an affair through God’s grace.
I have to admit, Homestands was tough for me. I mentioned this on my Amazon review, but I was a child of divorce that occurred for the same reason Mike left Meg. And while a HUGE part of me wanted him to suffer more, to pay a greater price for what he had done, I realize that desire was connected to the part of me that struggled to forgive my own father for years. To read about forgiveness and restoration instead of revenge and retribution was both beautiful and painful and maybe that’s true for a lot of people who’ve been hurt by infidelity.
One thing that gets in the way is pride, I think. Pride and bitterness. What we “deserve” or what they “deserve” is all obliterated at the foot of the cross. There we finally understand what it is we TRULY deserve and we come away humbled, or we should.
Maybe the reason non Christians don’t get this is because it is “foolishness to them.” – without the Spirit the ability to understand is so severely limited. When even Christians limp around injured by these kinds of wounds, struggling to forgive and only hurting ourselves when we can’t let go, how much hope do those who don’t have the Spirit living in them even have?
Homestands was good for me, another brick on the path the Lord has laid for me in the road of forgiveness and I’m grateful you wrote it the way you did.
You asked what other books have been written about restored relationships and Sydney Toomes Betts has a book called Light Bird’s Song that, although it was set in a Native American tribe in the late 1800’s, was pretty convicting about a wife’s responsibility to a difficult spouse. Completely different genre than Homestands, but a great message.
Thank you, Sherry! That helps me tonight when the words aren’t coming very well. :)
That’s an excellent book, Margaret! I’m glad you brought it up. It’s definitely not a fluff or light-hearted read, but it’s a good one.
Lalyvie, thank you for sharing that. I’m glad Homestands was helpful. It must have been a hard thing and still be a hard thing to have that be a part of your family. I pray God blesses your relationship with your father.
AS for what you said about the idea of forgiveness being foolishness to the unsaved, that’s exactly what it is. It doesn’t compute for them. Doesn’t fit at all. It was just such an abrupt reminder of what completely different perspectives they were coming from than what I was.
Thanks for the book recommendation. I’m going to check that one out.
Forgiveness is crucial. We hurt ourselves and others when we can’t forgive. So many times people want to hold onto wrongs rather than forgive. It’s sad. I always want to encourage people to let go of those things and find freedom in forgiveness.
Agreed. Forgiveness is crucial for us. Doesn’t mean it’s easy. Thanks, Diana.
One of my favorite themes in books is reunion stories. I love seeing how the characters work through the past, either misconceptions, or imagined hurts or misunderstandings of some kind. Sometimes even they’ve said or done hurtful things to each other that don’t deserve forgiveness. Which as you know, anything can be forgiven if we rely on God’s strength to do it. I have read a few books that deal with divorced people getting back together in the end. Of seeing hearts healed, relationships restored and even their faith in God stronger and walking more in the freedom that forgiveness brings.
I’ve been there/done that….held on to unforgiveness towards someone. The results aren’t pretty! The anger and bitterness ate me up inside and changed my attitude on the outside. It’s hard to let go when someone you love hurts you in some way. But I’ve learned that true freedom from all that garbage is forgiveness. And only through God can that happen. Working through the hurt isn’t easy or fun, but the end result is redemption, freedom, joy and a new outlook on life! ;-) Isn’t that a great reward??
Life’s messy, BUT God!!
I haven’t read Linda Nichols, and I think it might take me a while to want to read any deep and rich stories again. I’ve been emotional enough with my pregnancy already (lol), but thanks for the recommendation.
You said it perfectly, Trixi. Thank you!