What with Valentine’s Day being the past week, love seems to be on everyone’s mind. And as a romance author, love is on my mind all year round.
For those of you with sweethearts, do you do anything special for Valentine’s Day? My father always gets my mom a special card and her favorite box of chocolates. I received flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries from my grandchildren (my sweet 1 ½ year old granddaughter Emily took one look at the strawberries and very clearly said, “Open, please!”). However, I didn’t receive, nor did I expect, anything from my husband. I learned very early on in our 37-year-old relationship that giving flowers is just not his thing. And I’m okay with that. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me or doesn’t think of me. Flowers don’t last long anyway. Joe will have my grandson bring in a clip or two when they are trimming back the roses in summer.
I’ve heard of the five love languages, but those don’t really work for me, either. I look at those and feel like they all should be a major part of my relationship. None of them speak to me in a special way. I guess if I have to choose what I’d like, it’s to go out for a date to the theater or to a concert, just the two of us. I would love to travel more, but that’s not something we can do a lot of right now.
As for my characters, I enjoy giving them unique ways to show their love. In Bonding with the Babies, which is out next month, both my hero and heroine speak their love through music, she with her violin and he with piano and guitar. In other books you’ll find my hero with a carpenter’s belt strapped around his waist, with a penchant for animals, or doing dishes with a cloth slung over his broad shoulder. Now these are all things I can really get behind.
What about you? What speaks love to you?
Bonding with the Babies, coming March 26th, 2024!
~~Love Courageously~~ Publisher's Weekly Bestselling, award-winning author of 30 novels, Deb Kastner enjoys writing contemporary inspirational western stories set in small communities. She feels especially blessed to be able to include faith as a natural and genuine part of her characters' lives. Deb lives in beautiful Colorado with her husband and a pack of miscreant mutts. She is blessed with three adult daughters and two grandchildren. Her favorite hobby is spoiling her grandchildren, but she also enjoys reading, watching movies, listening to music (The Texas Tenors are her fav), singing in the church choir, and exploring the Rocky Mountains on horseback.
I like weekend getaways when possible. It’s more important to me that someone spends time with me and does something to help me out without being asked. That makes me feel happy and makes me want to help them out too.
I don’t have a significant other yet. :D However, my dad is kinda like your husband. He does give my mom flowers because he knows she likes them, but he doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Their anniversary is February 6, so he gives Mom roses for that. :D
I’ve been married forever, my love language is peace and quiet and being helpful around the house.
The older I get the more I appreciate kindness and thoughtfulness however it is expressed. Thanks for the beautiful post :)
Acts of service is my love language so I would rather someone help with the dishes or cleaning than bring me gifts.
I guess what speaks to me is acts of kindness, the little things. My husband has never been one to send flowers or shower me with gifts. But he is always fixing things that I have broken (because it is something that I like, like a blown glass Precious Moments bell) or been there when there have been health issues no matter how small or how major.
At this time in my life, I can honestly say if he’d come and mow my yard, or trim some of the bushes and trees back, I’d be thrilled! Nothing would be sexier! lol!! Or, if he’d take out the trash and take the bin down to the street! However, since I don’t have a significant other, I just read about them!!
I took the love language quiz recently and it actually said that gift giving and words of affirmation were the way that I felt love. I think it fit me pretty well however it was a surprise to see the results
My husband of 35 years loves to buy me flowers for Valentines Day. This year it was a dozen red roses. He also picks out what always seems to be a perfect card that describes our love and our lives together. And he writes a beautiful heartfelt note on it. I’ve got a stack that I’ve put away for safe keeping!
I think quality time is the best of all. My husband does get me my favorite candies though, and I do the same. I enjoy going on picnics when the weather is nice. Have a great day.
Notes/cards mostly, though I also appreciate acts of service.
Are you sure yours isn’t quality time?
It seems you’ve given your characters different love languages, but that’s what makes them unique and real. :)
I do love giving and receiving gifts, but I think acts of kindness and showing you care are just as important. My husband and I have a tradition of giving little joke gifts for valentines.
Since my love language is quality time, I really appreciate just spending time together doing anything :)
I don’t have a significant other yet but I’d like to think might be a little of everything, sometimes it’s nice to hear it, see it, show it.
Little thoughtful acts of kindness are really nice.
Doing things without being asked. I love that. I’m admittedly a nagger when I need stuff done, which I think makes Joe balk. LOL
Are roses your mom’s favorite? I’m more of a carnations girl.
I think helping around the house is super sexy, whether it is typical guy stuff or taking care of my chores.
Isn’t that the truth? In a world that’s so messed up, any expression of love is most appreciated.
I am disabled. My husband shows his love for me by taking care of me everyday without any complaints. Thank you so much for sharing. Congratulations on y our new book. God bless you.
That’s definitely more my thing than gifts.
One thing Joe does is says, “I love you” every day. I do appreciate this. When we were first married he used his carpentry skills quite often. Not so much anymore.
It’s fun to be able to write them the way I’d like them to be, ha ha. I’ve learned to lean on the younger kids to mow my lawn anymore.
food
I love giving and receiving gifts, but I am also touched by thoughtful gestures that express how much my hubby is thinking of me and my happiness.
I’m still single and never have dated but it probably would be getaways and acts of kindness and love.
I believe in small gestures all the time not just on one special day. I think that is better than someone just going all out on one day. What happens if they forget? If you just do something small for someone you love on a regular basis I think it shows love more,
Time! Time spend together and a physical touch :)
Yes, she loves red roses and yellow roses!
Looks delicious
agree!
love that! personal notes are the most meaningful!
We try to not celebrate romance just once a year, but everyday. But we do try to do something “more romantic” on Feb 14th (cuz the absence of romance on Valentine’s Day is rather conspicuous!). This year, he got me a bouquet of flowers a few days after valentines day. We really don’t see the point in spending so much money on cut flowers, although I do get flowers a few times a year like for my birthday, and other random times(-not because he’s in the doghouse!). It’s mostly the thoughtfulness if he knows I’ve had a rough day/week, he’ll bring in a bouquet to make me smile. But day in and day out he takes care of us, he makes sure the dishwasher gets started (somehow I have trouble doing that – I’ll load it and … not start it…. so he does!), making sure the trash gets taken out, making sure the house is locked up at night, etc. Lately, because he works so much, it’s also included prioritizing some time together each week. He listens to me at night even when he’s so tired. I love him for that, and all those little things.