Ever since I could read, I’ve wanted to be a writer and tell my own stories. With the release of Someone Found, my third novel and fifth published book, earlier this month, I’ve been feeling very reflective. I am nowhere close to figuring things out. However, now that I’ve got several years of storytelling under my belt, there are a few things I’d love to be able to go back and tell my aspiring-writer self.
If you’re an author, what do you wish you’d known as a young writer? If you’re not an author, what’s one thing you wish your younger self knew about life? Relationships? Your profession? Faith?
Some things I’d pass along to my younger self are lessons I wish I’d learned earlier in life. Others would have encouraged me along the way. If you’ve ever been curious what writers wish they’d known, or if you’re an aspiring author yourself, here’s a little peek into some of my recent reflections.
- It won’t go as planned, and that’s part of the plan. In high school, I excelled in AP English classes, was editor of my school newspaper, and was published regularly in a weekly teen section of The Orlando Sentinel. Naturally, I expected to be a published novelist within a few years of graduating college, if not before. Then, I married young, went to graduate school, started a full-time job, had a baby, and made a few big moves around the country. It wasn’t until I was 33 years old that I sat down to even write the first draft of my first novel. Things definitely did not go according to my plan. Now, at the age of 40, however, I can clearly see the path God had paved for me and my writing journey. My timing wasn’t His timing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Sixteen-year-old Teresa sitting in her room with a worn copy of Pride and Prejudice at her side as she scribbled in her notebook envisioned adult Teresa wearing stylish clothes, sitting all day in a quiet, sophisticated coffee shop typing her latest manuscript whilst sipping bottomless lattes. Reality is, I most often write in the late evenings in my small hybrid office/guestroom while wearing clothes splattered with remnants of whatever dinner I cooked that night, lukewarm decaf coffee, and frequent interruptions. But I’d also tell my younger self, “You won’t want it any other way.” Holding my books after knowing the hard work, long hours, and sacrifice it took to get them done is completely satisfying.
You’ll measure success in more ways than just sales. While I do pay attention to sales and greatly appreciate every single book purchased, I have found more fulfillment in connecting with the people who buy them. You readers have made this experience so rich and overwhelmingly rewarding. You give me story ideas, teach me where I can make improvements (always in a nice way, thankfully), and sometimes make me feel like a rock star just by leaving sweet little comments on Facebook or Instagram. I’m not on any New York Times Best Sellers list and Hallmark hasn’t called (yet!) to turn any of my books into a movie. But I’ve said, “Here I am Lord,” every time I’ve felt inspired with a story idea. I’ve stuck with it when it got really, really hard. And I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to keep learning and growing. Success!
As the sayings go, hindsight is 20/20 and we learn with age. In many ways, being a published writer looks very different than I imagined when I was young. But, despite the differences and challenges, it’s better than I ever dreamed.
Now it’s your turn. What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance?
Looking for some summer reading? My new novel, Someone Found, is now available here! Earlier this week, I shared a snippet of the story over on my blog.
Teresa Tysinger is an author of Southern contemporary romance inspired by grace. She writes on the fringes of being a wife, mom, and full-time communications professional. Teresa is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, the Association for Women in Communications, and the Religion Communicators Council. She’s an introverted Enneagram 4 (if you know, you know) and loves coffee, traveling, and almost every genre of music. Born in Hawaii, raised in Florida, and educated in North Carolina, she now resides in Texas with her husband, daughter, and dog.
That most of the things I worry about at that age really don’t matter as you get older. Just bide your time.
I want to say to my younger self…
1. Learn to do anger in a Godly way.
2. You are driven by fear. Learn to face it with God because…
3. Forty years from now you still won’t have it all figured out. Don’t expect to.
My younger self would probably not listen though because…
Youth is wasted on the young
The French may be a bit more jaded about it. Their version is…
If youth only knew. If age only could.
Or maybe it’s like the old Pennsylvania Dutch plaque that my dad had which asked…
Vy ah vee zo zoon olt unt too late shmaht?
:-)
I am a young woman who wishes to be an author, for now my achievements are … good grades in language at school, little stories at university and fanficiton (nothing embarrassing, very PG but I will never say my author name) a few years ago I thought about being an author sometime … let’s say it took me a while to admit that that was my passion and not medicine and that even more … I wanted to write romantic novels, then I became a Christian so now it’s something like “I want to write novels Christian romance … possibly with fantasy … “How will I do it? I don’t know hahaha my dream is to create something like Narnia but more adult and with romance.
Hi Teresa! As a German immigrant, daughter, teacher, wife, mom, and now Oma, I know life is hard; but so WORTH IT! While God is good, I never expected some painful life events. #1 is something that I learned early on from my German immigrant parents – It won’t go as planned, and that’s part of the plan. God’s timing is the best timing. My mom was a great role model having learned much in life – her father, brother, her home twice, leaving so much behind.
In the busyness / mundane part of life (daughter, pastor’s wife, mother, teacher) I had to remind myself to breathe and smell the roses. Savor the moments. Take one thing at a time. Best wishes.
I would tell myself to be brave and face my fears, to not be a people pleaser, and to step out in faith and go for my dreams.
Oh, Lilly! Don’t let go of that dream. I would definitely read that story!
So true. I’ve definitely learned to worry less.
Yes! Your number 3…we never really do “arrive” at figuring it out, do we? Thanks, Lincoln.
Lilly, I’ll tell you what several friends have told me. JUST WRITE. Get the words down on paper. They won’t be perfect. That’s what editing is for. If God is putting a story in your heart, write it. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks, Renate. Learning to trust God’s timing is definitely a hard one to keep learning.
I love all of those! I’ve struggled with fear in various forms all my life, too. Thanks for sharing!
I used to write all the time in my “youth”, mostly stories, but sometimes songs, and always a journal. The journals have continued, but with college, marriage, three kids, several moves and now farm life, the stories stopped.
I started trying again a few years ago, but got so caught up in editing & reediting as I wrote that I never finished any of them. I got discouraged and quit.
Then a story came to my mind that wouldn’t leave. I mean, I really FEEL this one. Like you, I write late at night after everyone else is in bed and all my other work is done. I keep telling myself, “Just write! You can edit later. ” So far, I’m over 16, 000 words which is huge for me!
It may take a few years, but I’m determined to finish. I’m so thankful for the bookstagramming world and authors like you who encourage and inspire me!
Liza, that’s amazing! Keep going! God is working great things through your determination. Exciting!
I’d tell my younger self to save more money, and enjoy even more the time spent with your parents. Once they’re gone, you can’t bring them back, and the adjustment is hard. Tell them more how much you love them, and always, always, go for that extra hug! And, be oh so very thankful for the fact that you were raised in a Christian home and know Jesus, because He’ll get through everything life is going to throw at you, especially the season of mourning.
I love all of this, Trudy! Hugs to you!
Take one day at a time, and never give up on any of your dreams. I loved your post. <3 Have a great rest of the week and stay safe. God Bless you.
Well I can tell you one thing, my younger self would most likely NOT listen to my older self….sigh!
Don’t take anything for granted, nothing is guaranteed in life, love more, laugh much and take one thing at a time (it’s all you can handle anyway).
Oh yeah…..and whatever you do DON’T date those guys (and I’d name them)……avoid the heartache!! Trust me, you don’t want anything to do with them…..
I wished I would have given my heart to the Lord as a youngster and grown in my faith. As it was, I have a lot of past heartache & regrets because of it. BUT…..God took that and made me the kind of person I am now. NOTHING is ever wasted with Him :-)
Thanks so much, Alicia. Taking one day at a time is such good advice!
Amen, Trixi! NOTHING wasted, ever, with God in control. Thanks!
Your time will come.
I would have told myself stick to your guns and leave school the end of year 11 don’t do the secretary course as by doing that I was a year older when I left school and missed out on so many. If I had left the year before I would have gotten them by being that bit younger. (that class started with around 30 ended with 7 and the other 6 all had jobs by the end of the summer holidays). I on the other hand didn’t get a job.
I would also say move out of home. (I became a carer for my mother and while I don’t regret it in some ways I know things could have been so much better). Mum would have moved into a unit at the retirement home and when needed moved to the nursing home part. (She also wouldn’t have had the falls there due to issues with the house).
The other thing even with things how they have turned out I would said don’t let people treat you like you are still a child. Stand up for yourself and if people still talk down to you or make you doubt yourself walk away.
Thanks, Denise!
Thanks for sharing!
I would tell my younger self to focus on school and career instead of boys and relationships.
I am an English major and my college professors told me I had a writing gift but I sacrificed that to get married before graduating.
I spent a lot of years not using the gift God gave me and now twenty something years later I’m still not published with fiction I do have a few nonfiction articles out there.
My dream is to get the fiction works published and I’m definitely on my way there.
It’ll pass :)
Lovely post!
Trust in the Lord and stay the course. God bless you.