At a formal banquet in college, circa 1996.
“Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves begin to change. . .”
Yeah, sorry for quoting Kid Rock, but that lyric seriously plays in my head all the time at this time of year. Somehow summer always manages to sneak up on me and take me by surprise. Then I blink and it’s gone and there are pumpkin fragrances all over Bath and Body Works. What in the world.
I won’t bore you with yet another “time moves way too fast” post because it seems like I say that every few months. (But it does. It really does move too fast!)
And this year, somehow, I’m more nostalgic than ever. I tried to figure out why that is and it hit me. I AM TURNING FORTY NEXT YEAR.
That must be the reason I’m suddenly pouring over scrapbooks of my college days and seriously not understanding where the time went.
We moved my stepson into the dorm last weekend and that set me off even more. I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that it wasn’t RECENTLY that I myself was moving into a dorm. It was two DECADES ago and there has been a lot of life lived since then. But it seems like just yesterday.
I look at photos of those years and I really feel like I’m still that same girl.
Except I’m not. Not really.
I have lost and I have loved and I have lived. There have been failures and successes. I have laughed a lot and cried a lot.
And as I begin to think about what I’ve learned over those years, I thought I’d share a few:
- Life is precious. Every day is new. I used to have a bad habit of “wishing” my life away by counting down to the next big event. I need to stop doing that because each day is a day to be celebrated!
- People are flawed. All of us. I have (finally) learned to be more compassionate and less judgmental. We all at one time or another go through difficult things. We also all at one time or another make mistakes. We all need less judgment and more compassion.
- Some things are not worth it. In life (or at least in mine) there are lots of opportunities to do lots of things. There comes a time when saying “no” is okay. For me, it’s when I see that my work/writing commitments begin to severely impact my relationships. There was a time just a few years ago when I would’ve said “yes” to every speaking invitation, book signing, or guest blog post. But now I look at my calendar and if I’ve already done too much that month, I say no without guilt. My family has to come first.
- The world has a lot of good people in it. We (thanks to the media) see so much bad. Every day brings us bad news and we shake our heads and say how horrible people are. But you know what? There are also some really fantastic people doing some amazing things. Look around and find them. Even better, be one of them!
- There are certain friendships that last through all the seasons of life. These are precious. I met my 3 best friends during my freshman year of college. Hardly a day goes by when the 4 of us don’t communicate. When you find people who “get you” hang on to them! You will treasure them always.
How about you? What’s been your biggest life lesson so far?
At my wedding rehearsal dinner. We’ve aged a bit since 1996, but we still have as much fun together as we did back then!
Annalisa Daughety writes contemporary fiction set in historic locations, including the Walk in the Park series, Love Finds You in Charm, Ohio, and A Wedding to Remember in Charleston, South Carolina. She lives in Arkansas and is hard at work on her next book.
I can really relate to where you are at, Annalisa. I was just telling my husband yesterday how nostalgic I was feeling. I actually had out a couple of scrapbooks from college. My dh was looking for a baby pic of himself for something at work and all of our pics are in a huge box. :)
Oh, 40. I remember 40. (Okay, so I’m only 41, but still.) I do think once you hit those late 30s and onward, the years just slip by.
Twenty-plus years ago, my young family camped once or twice every summer with my sister’s family. This spring my daughter, son, and niece (all married with young families) decided it was time to go back to that same lake and give their little ones the chance to enjoy making memories with their cousins. We did that last week. It was amazing! But it certainly reminded me of the passage of time!!
I’m a a few decades older than you, and I still have the same feelings that moving into the dorm was just yesterday. It’s been a couple of decades since we helped our daughters move into their dorm. Time is a strange thing. My husband and I keep saying we don’t feel any older than we did in our twenties. However, when I look in the mirror I know I’m not in my twenties anymore.
Forty was great for me, but fifty is even better. After receiving my first book contract, less than a month after turning fifty, my biggest life lesson is to never give up.
Ohhhhh 40 is getting there for me too. My biggest life lesson has been that life begins at the end of my comfort zone.
Hahaha, funny post, Annalisa! The smells of Bath & Body Works always take me by surprise, too!
Great post, Annalisa! So true.
Uh, but 40 was a loooong while back for me!
:) It’s definitely fun to get lost in the old scrapbooks sometimes!
They really do! When I was younger it seemed like time stood still sometimes…not anymore!
I’ll bet that was so fun! And I am finally to the age where people I remember being born are now getting married! Every single time it takes me by surprise because I still think of them as little kids! :)
That is exactly what I do–I don’t feel older (in fact sometimes I FORGET how old I am) But having teenage stepchildren has definitely made me realize that I’m not “young” any longer! :)
That’s awesome, Jill! Congrats on the contract! And what a great lesson!
:) I totally agree with that! It’s not always easy to get out of your comfort zone, but it’s worth it!
Ha! I went in the other day to get a SUMMER Boardwalk candle. I was so surprised that it was gone and had been replaced by Sweater Weather and a million pumpkin varieties. Truthfully, I adore the fall scents, but I just wasn’t quite ready for that! :)
:) Thanks!
Great thoughts!! I think I met you one time. Do you know Ethanie Laux Cagle? She’s one of my friends from Alaska days.
I just turned 45 on the 9th of August, so I can certainly relate to how fast time has flown! My son will also be graduating this year, but it just seems like yesterday that it was his first day of Kindergarten. I can look back at all the great memories over the years.
I think the one thing that surprises me the most about one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, is that there are some things that just don’t matter as much as they used to! At least for me, things that were a big deal years ago are no longer that prevalent in my life. I’ve learned to treasure relationships more, making memories with those that matter to me (family & friends), giving of my time & taking life at a little slower of a pace. Treasuring people & time well spent. You know that saying “take time to smell the roses”, I think I’ve finally found the meaning to that. It’s not the material things that matter (career, money, things) but the people in your life. Your kids aren’t going to look back and say, “my dad was a great doctor”…no, more then likely they’ll remember the summer you took them camping & caught that huge fish. It’s amazing to me how much time I feel I’ve lost not showing the ones that matter the most to me how much they really do mean to me! I used to be so focused on the doing instead of the showing (if that makes sense)!
Ahhh, I think my focus has sharpened on the things that REALLY matter…and I think that’s the greatest thing about getting older :-)
Thank you so much, Annalisa!