The new year is a time of change and transition. For some, it’s no more than a changing of the page on the calendar, true. For others, though, it’s a time of making plans, changing the way we see ourselves, and modifying life habits so that we become more like who we want to be.
Those seasons of change and transition happen all the time, though, right? They’re not limited to the new year.
I was talking to a gal recently who is in a major season of transition in her life – and she’s worried about getting it wrong. About making the wrong choice. About her life being long-term impacted by a wrong choice.
At the end of the day, the best way to make good life choices, is to be walking in God’s will. While we all might have different ideas about how to know God’s will (I would say Scripture is a major one, for example), I think we can all agree that being in God’s will is better than the alternative.
There are all kinds of major life decisions, right? I can also say with confidence that, the older I get, the more perspective I have on some of those decisions. What I thought was major when I was eighteen is not so much on the major list today. But it was major to me then, so it still counts. 😉
where to go to college
first big job
who your closest friend are
who to marry
when (or if) you should have kids
when to retire
where to retire to
So many life choices!
Let’s focus in on one today, though. You can probably guess which one. After all, it’s kind of in the name of the blog here…
In Christian romance, it’s important that the romance actually be believable, right? So what makes a believable romance in fiction? What sorts of romances really grip you?
I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before – but I like the slow-burn romance. I like to see a relationship develop over time. I like to see the characters go through ups and downs and face trials together as their relationship deepens. It’s in those ups and downs of life that we get to see who someone really is, and to me, that’s an important part of romance. Even though it doesn’t sound all that romantic now that I’m typing it out. 😂
Regardless, it’s hard for me to be emotionally invested in characters who just blink and suddenly know that this is the person God has for them. But that’s my personal preference and is not at all definitive in the world of fiction.
So tell me – is it important to you that the characters in a Christian romance know that the other person is someone God has for them? And if so, how is that conveyed? What do you want to see characters saying or doing to show that God is part of their decision-making process?
Or if you’d rather – if you have a story to share, tell me how you knew that the special someone in your life was the person God had for you?
Happy New Year, everyone! May your year be filled with the grace and goodness of God.
Heather Gray loves coffee, God, her family, and laughter – not necessarily in that order! She writes approachable characters who, through the highs and lows of life, find a way to love God, embrace each day, and laugh out loud right along with her. And, yeah, her books almost always have someone who's a coffee addict. Some things just can't be helped. Despite their different lives and situations, Heather’s characters have something in common. They're all flawed...but loved anyway.
The characters should pray and ask God will for their life. Sometime I think in Christian romance prayer is taken out of the equation.
When I was young I asked God for a sign that it was actually him speaking to me and I got a feeling. In all the years since when I get that feeling I know things will work out and that’s how I knew. Your post also reminded me of a friend who prayed for help with the decision to return to full time study whilst raising her son, money would be tight, and she dreamed God told her she wouldn’t have to worry about money. A year later she was distraught because she had no money to pay the bills – there’s a big difference between you don’t need to worry about money and you will have the money – for me it comes down to faith and paying attention because God doesn’t always guide me in the way I think! Thanks for the great post.
When my now husband and I were getting to know each other, we spent time finding out about each other’s family, faith, etc. I had sensed God calling me to be a missionary, so I wanted to make sure he felt the same calling (and he did). Then he went into the Air Force, and we corresponded, which helped us communicate well. When he asked me to marry him, I was pretty sure he was “the one,” but asked for time to pray and make sure. I asked my parents what they thought, and my mom said, “You have doubts??!!” She was sure he was the right one for me :-) We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary Dec 29!
I went out with my husband for the first time on March 16, 75. We got married 10 days later on March 26, 75 and were married 42 1/2 years when he passed away. Even though I didn’t ask God to send someone special into my life, I felt like that was what he did when I met my husband.
I like when the characters talk about God like I do with my friends. That He’s a part of the conversation, and your beliefs are front and center and everyone knows that if they want you on Sunday, the first place they should look is church. I want them to do more than pray at meals. I want them to go to church, life groups (or whatever your church calls them), Sunday School, Bible studies. I want it to be part of their life, not just a brief mention that they prayed before a meal. I like when characters pray about their relationships with others in the book, not necessarily just their romantic interest in the book.
I met my husband in Feb. 1971 in a bar on a major collage campus. Neither one of us attended that university. 8 months later, Oct. 1971, we were married. He had enlisted in the Army. If not for that, we may not have married then. At any rate, I wish I had been wiser and more in tune with God than. We are still married, 52 years now, and I don’t think this is the person God intended for me. I could be wrong for I now lean on God heavily to push through.
I do like to read about the process of 2 people getting yo know one another and getting through obstacles in the way of happily ever after.
Thank you for your post and your stories.
Happy New Year Heather!
I think this is a tricky one, I think it’s all too easy to mistake ‘what I want and have prayed about’ for ‘what God wants for me’ – I know I am guilty of this at times.
I agree with what you’ve said though, I like to see a relationship develop over time, so the characters get to know each other and we get to know them as readers, and sharing their faith and relationship with God is an important part of that.
Thank you so much for sharing. When I sit down to read, I enjoy reading the story. I do not dig into the aspect as to whether they are right for each other in the eyes of the Lord. Life is hard enough that I just want to escape into a story. God bless you.