Inspy Romance

Inspy Romance—Fall in Love With a Good Book

Sex and Christian Romance

by

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.

It’s kind of the elephant in the room.

How does that baby happen?

Now, I don’t think any of us need to have a conversation about the birds and the bees, but I do think it’s worth having a little chat about sex and Christian romance.

I think the general expectation about anything labeled Christian romance is that there won’t be sex on the page of the story. I suspect that the majority of readers also don’t even even want to see it implied between characters. And if sex does happen, then there should be consequences. It’s not a zero sum game.

All of this is based on the Biblical expectation that sex is something created by God for inside of marriage.

And yet, that expectation isn’t necessarily one that the culture–even the culture inside the church–maintains today.

I got a review the other day on one of my books that said it perpetuated the toxic myth of purity.

I’ll admit, it made me sad, but not, probably, for the reason the person who wrote it would have expected. It’s okay with me that she didn’t like my book. (And honestly, if that’s how she feels about the book in question — one that is full of Christians making mistakes, experiencing consequences for their sin, and finding grace and forgiveness at the foot of the cross — she’s not going to like any of my books.) But it made me sad because the cultural expectation that sex is something that must happen between adults in romantic relationships – this expectation that seems to be gaining more and more traction even in the church – breaks my heart.

Saving sex for marriage is hard. It was hard 25 years ago when I was dating my now husband. I can only imagine it’s even harder today when sex seems to be such an ingrained part of almost every aspect of culture. But I still don’t think the idea of honoring God with your body and saving the union of two bodies for marriage is toxic. It is, if anything, beautiful. And when two people come together for the first time as man and wife? It’s holy.

That’s worth striving for.

I do want to be clear though, I get that it’s hard. And I get that sometimes Christians mess up. And you know what? God forgives us – no matter the sin.

My characters aren’t always perfect. In Hope for Freedom, which will release at the end of the month, Indigo and Joaquin start off their relationship with a massive slip. Indigo isn’t a believer at the time–and she shares the opinion of my reviewer that sex is something that’s fun and meant to be enjoyed, and anyone who disagrees is ridiculous. Joaquin, however, knows he’s let down not only himself, but his future bride and, more importantly, his Savior. So he struggles to accept the forgiveness that comes with confession.

Because it’s a Christian romance, there are consequences for their slip that go beyond the guilt and knowledge that he messed up. But as in our lives — and as I try so hard to incorporate in all of my books — God takes their mistake and turns it into a story of redemption.

Want to know more about Hope for Freedom? Here’s the blurb:

A vegan alpaca farmer, a ranch hand, and an accidental pregnancy . . .

Indigo Hewitt reluctantly decides a move to Hope Ranch is the best of the few options available. Despite not knowing her grandparents well, she moves in a few days before her baby sister’s wedding. Based on conversations she’s had with ranch hand Joaquin, Indigo figures she’ll manage to fit in just fine.

Joaquin Rivera has been pushing the Hewitts to bring livestock to Hope Ranch. When Indigo relocates with her herds, he’s excited to lend a hand with the sheep and alpacas. Working alongside Indigo isn’t going to be a hardship, either.

After a tipsy evening together, Joaquin is determined to get his relationship with Indigo back to a place that honors God. One mistake isn’t going to ruin either of their lives. Until those two pink lines appear. Will they find a way to make a family, or will Indigo’s need for freedom be too much for love to overcome?

This is the fourth book in the Hope Ranch series, but they stand alone. (You’ll see previous couples, but I don’t think there’s anything important that you won’t understand if you jump in here. Or you can start at the beginning with Hope for Christmas, which is book 1.)

So let’s chat – do you like when your novels have realistic situations (like sex) that the characters have to navigate? Do you prefer that characters just live according to an accepted standard for Christians without seeming to struggle? Would you rather the topic of sex was simply something that got ignored completely? Or something else?

I’ll choose a winner on Saturday (so comment by Friday at midnight) to get a paperback copy of Hope for Freedom when it releases. This can be open internationally, but if an international reader wins, it might take longer to get to you as I’ll wait for it to be up on Book Depository.

Elizabeth Maddrey (292 Posts)

Elizabeth Maddrey is a semi-reformed computer geek and homeschooling mother of two who lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. When she isn’t writing, Elizabeth is a voracious consumer of books. She loves to write about Christians who struggle through their lives, dealing with sin and receiving God’s grace on their way to their own romantic happily ever after.


Comments

  1. I am happy for the topic of sex in stories to be ignored. I prefer to believe rather than know.

  3. Thanks for broaching this topic! First, your worldview affects everything. Anyone who calls purity “toxic” has the opposite understanding of what God created sex to be. The whole reason I love Christian/inspirational romance is because it portrays relationships from that perspective! Grace for mistakes (even major ones!). Forgiveness. Second chances. And my most favorite, redemption! I prefer the “closed door” version of intimacy. Real emotions and struggles without any explicit content.

  5. I’m all for the topic as long as the act stays behind closed doors. I think sharing the struggle for purity, showing those who sin and are redeemed, and those who manage purity, all of it is needed in fiction. We all come from different walks and being able to see all of those points a realistic view imo.

  6. Fabulous blog, Elizabeth. And Indigo and Joaquin’s story looks wonderful. I love characters that are raw and real. Making mistakes is part of life … even a believers. I do think though, that in Christian fiction, readers aren’t looking for the intimate details, so definitely closed door. But mistakes … a resounding yes!

  7. It’s a sad fact of life that purity before marriage is very rare, and it’s wonderful that CCF has the opportunity to present an ideal of which most young people are unaware. Even if only one sexually inactive person chooses to save themselves for marriage after reading a God glorifying CCF, it’s worth it. From what I’ve read, our authors deal with the subject of promiscuity etc with love and grace, but lift up the ideal of what God intended for a rich and fulfilling marriage relationship. My heart aches for all the young people that have dived into sex with no realisation of how it impacts on their future lives. Keep doing what you’re doing, dear authors!

  8. I so value your courage and authenticity, Elizabeth!

    I love CF that is realistic and redemptive. My favorite thing about CF is seeing the characters navigate situations through the lens of their faith – and that includes their own mistakes.

    Pretending characters wouldn’t struggle with temptation seems almost… disingenuous to me. Not all will, but definitely some, even most, if honest conversations with unmarried Christians carry any weight.

    I am so excited to read this book!

  13. I agree 100 % with your blog today! What’s interesting about the majority of Christian fiction I read (and I read a lot!) is that when sex is part of the plot line, it’s usually part of a character’s story that already happened, and the consequences and subsequent redemption are playing out as we are reading. I love that your new book will allow us to see characters struggling through this challenge as the plot unfolds. Although, knowing your writing, we won’t read explicit details, which is preferred by many readers! Looking forward to reading Indigo and Joaquin’s story!

  14. What a great topic!!!

    I appreciate authenticity in stories, but never scenes that glorify sin. And as Toni Shiloh said above, I appreciate when the struggle for purity is presented in real ways that glorify God and show the “chivalry” and “courage” of such choices. But I also appreciate when sin is shown as sin and there is conviction for it as well as consequences. If my character is a Christian and the Holy Spirit lives within in them, as with any Christian when he sins, he should feel the sting of that conviction.

    Here’s a spinoff question – what about characters who are married? If we, as Christians, celebrate the beauty of sex between two people who are in a committed, married relationship, how much is “okay” to portray to celebrate the beauty of that. Most nonbelievers have a pretty dim view of Christians ideas of sex because they perceive us as always pushing the “no” button, so is it okay to (tastefully and in a God-glorifying way) present sex WITHIN marriage? I’m really just curious for people’s thoughts about this. I love writing marriage-of-convenience tropes :-)

  15. Thanks, Stacey! It’s funny because I’m a pantser, so I wasn’t sure about this happening, but when the story started to unfold it was just the way I felt God leading.

    There are many books with sex in a character’s past and I do love that we can show that redemption, too.

  16. Definitely we shouldn’t be glorifying sin. Or giving the reader details that will cause them to imagine things that cause their own stumbles.

    It’s funny, because my current WIP is a marriage of convenience and I for real asked some writing friends last night if, since they were married, it was okay for them to have sex. :)

    I do think we need to (tastefully) show married couples enjoying the act of marriage (not by describing it obvs) — because it is a beautiful thing when done in a setting that glorifies God.

  17. Thank you so much for this post. It is good for Christian writers to chat about this subject that a little bit taboo is. In the church where I’m going to is sex for marriage forbidden. When it happened you have to do confession of guilt. It is difficult to wait into the marriage. I know that so many other people think that sex before the marriage is normal. But we have as Christian stay pure before the marriage. So, even in real life, can it happen that someone becomes pregnant before the marriage. We do not have to look down on such a person, but rather to assist, even if things went wrong. Another time: thank you for being so open about this!

  18. I like to have the characters be real, and struggle and find faith and redemption…I understand sex happens outside of marriage…I just don’t like reading the details, closed doors for me too!

  19. Exactly agree!! If we’re going to teach that it’s worth waiting for, then we should be able to present why it’s worth waiting for once you’ve waited :-)

  21. I prefer sex to be behind the scenes; however, I also like to see “real life” happen in books, and I’ve read one book by Hallee Bridgeman that also deals with this topic, and it was handled beautifully! It also dealt with forgiveness and redemption, and since this happens in the real world, I don’t mind reading it in CF, as long as it shows how difficult it can be to deal with the aftermath, and doesn’t glorify the wrong doing. Knowing you, I’m sure the book is just as good as Hallee’s!!!

  22. I’m thoroughly with both of you in this! It’s a huge part of life that influences so much of who a person is and becomes. Sexual sin has always been one of the biggest trappings since the fall. But if God redeems sin, He redeems ALL of it. And everything the enemy twists for his ugly purposes was originally created by God to be beautiful. It’s more important than ever we as Christians show how what was corrupted can be redeemed. Consequences, for sure. Nothing voyeuristic, obviously, but a married couple snuggling afterward and sharing meaningful kisses and conversation shows a healthy relationship that can give hope to a reader every bit as much as showing a character struggling yet maintaining their purity might. All things in balance with honoring God first—authentically.

  23. Sex is rarely raised in any CCF I have read other than as a conflict between one Christian partner and the other who is not yet Christian. I would love to see authors embrace more intimacy within their stories (not necessarily sex) but the expressions of joy at being in their relationship and later honouring their marriage vows.

  25. “And everything the enemy twists for his ugly purposes was originally created by God to be beautiful. It’s more important than ever we as Christians show how what was corrupted can be redeemed.”

    Yuup. So important!!

  26. I agree the conversation is super important. I wish we didn’t see it as taboo – it just makes everything about it seem more sinful. When really it isn’t when used properly.

  30. I’m a realist.

    Do I like sex in the books I read? Not gratuitous sex. But if it is insinuated that a married couple engages, I don’t struggle with that at all. In fact, except for marriage of convenience stories where the couple is brand new, I think it’s odd when authors make their married couples celibate and prudish. That’s not real.

    As far as outside of marriage, I don’t want to “see” it in books, but if it happens and then there is a redemption story that follows, I’m good with that storyline. It does bug me when modern-day storylines are pure as the driven snow. That’s unfortunately not how our world looks. If a character is so perfect I can’t relate at all, I won’t finish the book. I love stories where, with God’s help, regular humans become a little better, a little less regular. 😀 Does this make sense?

  32. I personally don’t like to know that the characters have been in bed together during the story. If it was something that happened in the past, they’re sorry for it, and they’ve repented, that’s fine. But I personally don’t want to read about sexual sins. I hear enough about that in the news and with my friends and family. I read Christian romance to be encouraged and edified, and sexual sins aren’t that for me.

  33. I’m so glad you write how you do — as an eighteen-year-old romance lover it is hard to find books that I know will be good and God-honoring.

    I’m glad to find authors who agree with me about sex not being on page or in relationships though we’re not perfect so it happens sometimes when we make mistakes.

  34. I think the struggle to remain pure and fight temptation should be featured in Christian fiction, as long as it goes with whatever the story is about. I don’t want the act itself described, like in secular romances, but I don’t see anything wrong with implying it. I actually think Christian fiction can really reach more people when this is done correctly because the stories can show how and why God intends sex to be saved for marriage, and it can show that while people may like to think sex while dating is harmless its really not. Its something meant to be treasured between a husband and wife and I think ignoring it or glossing over the temptation in books does a disservice to readers sometimes.

  35. I appreciate this discussion. As an inspiring CF author, this dilemma has often been one I wondered about. I want to betray characters that deal with real-life issues and what can be more real than the struggle for purity before marriage and even in marriage. I look forward to reading your book.

  37. Yes to ALL of this thread!! Love this discussion and what it brings out. Sex is God’s creation and it IS good when we practice it the way He intended. That needs to be talked about hand-in-hand with our message of waiting for marriage.

  39. Is having Frank and realistic experiences with infection glorifying sin? Or is it acknowledging the difficulty of living in today’s world as a Christian in but not of? Obviously everyone has to decide for themselves what is right for them to read. But I don’t think looking at the issues of living in the world and the consequences of sin is glorifying it. Personal opinion obviously.

  41. I know I would have loved this sort of fiction to be available when I was 18. It just wasn’t and so I ended up reading a lot of secular romance which definitely does not support a Christian worldview.

  42. I love this. I agree sometimes authors can do a disservice to their readers when they think that they’re doing the right thing. It absolutely comes from a a good motive. But sometimes it’s good to go ahead and hit the hard stuff so that readers find a place to identify.

  44. I agree wholeheartedly with what you’ve both said. I can’t stand “fluffy” stories, as I call them. When I read, I want real people having real struggles, including with sin. None of us is perfect, and characters should reflect that.

    As far as sex, it’s sad that it’s treated like it either doesn’t exist or shouldn’t happen, regardless of the circumstances. It’s pretty sad when sex INSIDE a marriage is treated as something bad, and sex OUTSIDE of marriage is held up as normal, natural, and perfectly fine.

    As I read your post, Elizabeth, I was reminded of a review on a friend’s book several years ago. In it, a non-believer heroine was befriended by a Christian woman, who invited her into a Bible study. She was embraced there, despite her having a rather colorful background, with the woman being very supportive, caring, and friendly. A reviewer said it wasn’t realistic because Christians aren’t like that – supportive, caring, and friendly. Said a lot to me about the types of Christians that reviewer has had contact with, sadly. That, along with the comment you received, just goes to show how we Christians really aren’t doing a great job of showing Christ to the world. :-(

  47. Real life happens and I think it should be discussed and dealt with from a Biblical perspective. There is consequences and there I’d forgiveness. Thank you for sharing. Blessings

  49. I don’t think that when characters slip and make mistakes that it is the same as glorifying sin. I was very much a Christian when I chose a wrong path and ended up pregnant at age 19. It wasn’t in my plan, but it was definitely God’s plan, and my 25 year old daughter would probably say that she’s happy how it worked out! Mostly closed doors are probably best in CCF, but I for one appreciate when characters do make mistakes, redeem themselves, and try to stay true to the path even if there are (or will be) consequences for their actions.

  50. Great post! I remember, as a young newlywed, coming across a quote from Howie Hendricks, a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. He often had the task of counseling newlywed seminary students and he said, “We should not be ashamed to discuss that which God was not ashamed to create.” And, like Jaycee implied above, the devil never created anything. He only corrupts the good creation of God.

    With those thoughts as context, there are several analogies that have helped me sort out my own understanding of sex and what makes it such a pivotal issue, especially in the church. The first is that engaging in sex is like building a house. The physical part is like the plumbing. It’s pretty basic. It can be messy but you can figure it out without major difficulties. The mental, emotional and spiritual parts are like the wiring. You need to be very careful because, if you mess *that* up, very bad things happen. So, for the purposes of today’s discussion, I say leave the plumbing behind closed doors but get that wiring out in the open so we can learn and grow and become wise. In seeking to avoid the kind of arousal that comes with the discussion of the plumbing, the church has also avoided any reference to the wiring and that can be a fatal mistake.

    The second analogy is about the consequences of a sexual relationship as God has designed it. Epoxy glue. Okay, weird, but, yeah, epoxy glue. Epoxy comes in two parts. By themselves, the parts are stable and preserve well for later use. When you mix them, though, they create a bond that is strong and lasting. You can’t break that bond without doing serious damage to both of the original parts being joined. You can see how that functions in marriage. That kind of bond, along with building blocks of commitment, kindness, faithfulness and all the other 1 Cor. 13 values, creates a foundation on which to build amazingly beautiful and strong families. Families that can weather the inevitable storms of life and offer refuge and healing to the wounded. Engaging in sex in relationships where you don’t already have that level of commitment (that is, the til-death-do-us-part vow of marriage) creates the kind of pain that God wants to protect us from. Psychologists and counselors seeking to help those who have promiscuity in their past, talk about bonding and attachment issues. These are the leftover effects of that epoxy being torn apart again and again.

    The world sells the idea of sexual relationships on the basis of intense pleasure. If that’s all you’re after, consider a date to Baskin-Robbins. Even there, though, you can’t avoid the consequences! The reality is that the impact on the heart (mind, spirit, emotions) is the real core of what sex is about and, indeed, designed for.

    So, I strongly encourage the inclusion of story elements that show how the wiring can either be handled well in the first place, or repaired in the wake of playing (badly) with the power of God’s electricity. The real challenge for CCR authors is to realize that just going for “the feels” on the emotional level can have as bad an effect as just going for the physical feelings found in non-Christian romance. We need the whole story of God’s creative work. To the degree that our stories reflect God’s design for marriage as a demonstration of Christ’s love for his church, both in bonding and joy and in struggle and sacrifice, to that degree we have truly Christian romance.

  52. What great examples. I remember the epoxy example from my own youth group many (many many many ;) ) years ago. But it’s a great one.

    We definitely need more talk about wiring rather than having thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

  53. Struggling with the temptation of sex in a real pre-marital relationship is hard, even when the couple are Christians. For example, my husband and I got pregnant before we married. It’s not something we are proud of and there were severe consequences in our life. Like you said, sin is not without its consequences. But I also know when we were truly repentant (lots of tears & regrets), God was faithful to forgive us. I’m in no way saying that it’s okay to give into the temptation (even when it doesn’t result in pregnancy), because it’s not. The marriage bed is sacred & I wished that we would have waited until our wedding night to enjoy each other. On the good side, our son is 23 yrs old and has always had a heart for God. We don’t regret having him, just the timing of when it happened & that we gave into the temptation in the first place.

    So, I don’t mind reading about couples who struggle with pre-marital sex & the temptation thereof, but there HAS to be consequences if they give in and not just glossed over . I’ve read a book like that a long time ago & I had to immediately stop reading it because I felt the author wasn’t treating it as seriously as it should have been. Sin is sin, and there needs to be a realistic view of it in a Christian fiction story. At the same token, I don’t want bedroom scenes. I want it implied rather than described (ha, that’s a new motto for writers maybe?). I also want to see character growth from that as well. Because I struggled with my guilty feelings as well as my husband and sought Godly counsel & prayer from trusted friends.

    Walking with God isn’t always easy because the world can invade our lives (thoughts, actions, attitudes), it’s why we need to lay our temptations at the cross & ask Him to give us strength every day. Sometimes even a minutely basis! :-) I like real characters who struggle with real feelings and real life situations. It’s an awesome opportunity for the author to show God’s grace, forgiveness, faithfulness & love in fiction that speaks to the heart of the reader!

  55. I don’t think sex should be ignored in stories but how the topic is handled is important. This book sounds really good though, I’m going to check it out after I post.

  56. Great points on all counts, Lincoln. I’m so enjoying this thread and grateful you braved posting it, Elizabeth!

  60. Oh Dawn, what a horrible statement about what that woman’s experience with “Christians” must have been like!! Lord, help us!!

  61. I think a little bit of reality, when done tastefully, is an honest approach about the challenges faced in our lives.

  62. LOVE that quote by Howie! He’s such a great teacher! Lincoln, your quote right here is GREAT! “The world sells the idea of sexual relationships on the basis of intense pleasure. If that’s all you’re after, consider a date to Baskin-Robbins. Even there, though, you can’t avoid the consequences! The reality is that the impact on the heart (mind, spirit, emotions) is the real core of what sex is about and, indeed, designed for.”

  63. LOVE that quote by Howie! He’s such a great teacher!

    Lincoln, your quote right here is GREAT! “The world sells the idea of sexual relationships on the basis of intense pleasure. If that’s all you’re after, consider a date to Baskin-Robbins. Even there, though, you can’t avoid the consequences! The reality is that the impact on the heart (mind, spirit, emotions) is the real core of what sex is about and, indeed, designed for.”

  66. I think authors like Julie Lessman does intimacy in a marriage very well. Its implied and not shown but it done so well and in the right way. I think if there is sex outside of the marriage especially if one is a Christian I want to see the struggle and consequences. A few books I have read the author has shown how the character struggled with this issue and eventually it leads to forgiveness etc.
    Its sad how so many Christians are now living together rather than getting married cos they say because they are in a de-facto relationship its the same as being married. Or they will say we are getting married so we don’t have to wait. The bible hasn’t changed.
    I think books that show why waiting is important and the consequences. I also think its important to show how God forgives when we admit what we do and he helps us to move on.
    The reviewer may actually help you sell more books due to what she says. Christians will see that your books uphold purity.

  68. One of the biggest misconception is that only single people struggle with sex. Yes, God created it to be within the boundaries of marriage and I want people to realized that when you step outside of his boundaries that it does not only affect you but the people around you. I do not want to see sex scenes in CF because the images stays with you long after you finish the story. I want Christian Fiction to see that our actions have consequences but that God loves us to redeem us through the Jesus’ death and resurrection.

    We have a purity ministry in my church because we saw that there was a great need. Singles and marrieds are struggling with unrealistic expectations of sex and confusing it with “intimacy”. I am even careful with Hallmark movies because we do not realize that we are setting ourselves up for heartaches. I am grateful that God is working on women reclaiming what true intimacy is with Him and eventually our spouse.

  70. Oh my goodness yes! Sex is something Satan loves to twist and misuse — there are definitely struggles within marriages too and unrealistic expectations can plague any relationship.

  71. I think all mistakes are a big part of life only because we are human.Mistakes happen no matter what and God forgives all especially when we are truly sorry, especially if it was a mistake. I think sex needs to be brought up because it is normal, I do very much agree that it doesn’t have to be explicit and done in good taste.. Mistakes happen and they do need to be brought up because it is a learning experience and we learn from our mistakes. Your book sounds like a very good read and I love the book cover! Thank you for writing a book like this. Have a Great rest of the week and stay safe. God Bless you and your family.

  73. I think this is a great topic to raise. As a reader of Christian Fiction, I never want to see sex on the page, but as it’s a gift from God, I do want it acknowledged in a healthy way. I write contemporary Christian romance and I’m always careful to have the characters confront the elephant in the room – that our culture encourages sex before marriage and that as Christians, we need to refrain. What are the characters doing to draw healthy boundaries? I’ve written about teenage pregnancy, baby loss, single motherhood, because they are a part of life. I love it when a Christian novel delves into the tough stuff and shows God’s loving Mercy through all of it.
    That said, I’m not a fan of the word Purity in this context. None of us is pure. We’re all sinners. With our kids, my husband and I try to emphasize respect and honor. You respect your romantic partner and you honor God by remaining chaste. It’s not about a state of purity, it’s a conscious choice to control your flesh because this is what God asks of you. Being a Christian means we follow a different code than our culture or indeed, most of the world. This is special, sacred commitment to God. If you fail, you seek forgiveness and renew your commitment. Purity has always seemed like a one and done kind of thing to me. If you blow it, it’s gone for good. I think that’s damaging to young women and it’s a standard we don’t seem to apply to young men. The Church as a whole needs to deal with that elephant in the room because we have a lot of hurt and broken folks in our midst that hear one thing from the pulpit and see another in practice.

  74. As a single woman it can often be hard to even read some descriptions of displays of affection outside the bedroom, so keeping sex behind closed doors is important.
    I like it when struggles are included – I for one, do not want to read a story with a “perfect” character, because I know perfect people don’t exist.
    Purity is important, and it’s not a myth.
    These days I only read Christian fiction because I don’t want to “pollute” my mind – either with descriptions of sex or even swearing. However, I have found that there are even some Christian authors who’s books I no longer choose to buy or read because their descriptions of hugging and kissing have started going too far – more of a door ajar scenario.
    Even descriptions of a character’s physical features can quickly cross a line that makes it a stumbling block and arouse desire that should not be there. Tell me he’s handsome, but don’t keep raving about rippling muscles and perfect abs!!

  75. I think it was just my review that used that word (Purity) – it’s not one I’m a big fan of either because of the same issues you raise. It’s not a one and done thing – there is always grace available at the cross.

  77. I prefer reality. One of the reasons sex is so prevalent outside of marriage (especially in the church) is that we clothe as something bad and a subject not to be addressed. If God addressed sex why can’t we! Romance whether between believers or non-believers always involves the struggle to remain chaste and not succumb to the physical (lust) side of the relationship. The difference is that as believers we have a “helper” to guide us and helps us overcome temptation – if we want to overcome. And, if we succumb we have a God who understands and forgives our sin because he loves and redeems us – always turning that which was meant for destruction and evil by Satan into something blessed and good. I love your books especially the realistic tone of them which makes them authentic. We have a generation of young adults brought up in the church who have turned away because of our hypocrisy and inability to forgive. Keep writing the way you do.

  79. I personally would not read books that spend very much time dealing with the topic of sex. I feel like there’s just a lot of gray areas where things can get too steamy and I don’t want to feel dirty for reading the book. I love books that show Gods grace and forgiveness for past sins, but I guess the less details I know about that the better? Like I’m ok with reading about “after the fact” and the repentance, but I don’t want to read the scenes leading up to it that set the stage for the sexual encounter. As you said when a couple first come together before God in the act of marriage, it is Holy and therefore shouldn’t be taken lightly…and I just don’t need to know. That’s just my feelings and personal perspective on it.

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