Inspy Romance

Inspy Romance—Fall in Love With a Good Book

So I Married a Romance Author

by

by George Rosche

Greetings. Did I make it awkward already? Confound it… see, Janine asked me to write a blog post on “what it’s like to be married to a writer.” I ain’t got what you’d call a gifting for the written word. I crushed college entrance exams on math and science, but the language arts – not my forte. Needless to say, I’m underqualified for this blog post, but regardless – you’re about to see the world through the eyes of the spouse of a writer. Unsolicited advice coming your way to avoid common pitfalls for writer spouses.

Advice #1 – It’s your fault.

Have you ever come home and your spouse is mad at you for no reason? I mean, like, really – NO REASON? I usually start with some form of reassuring physical touch, and a “honey, what’s wrong?” Recently, that olive branch was met with a “DON’T TOUCH ME.” The usual suspects are that I forgot a birthday, an anniversary date, didn’t put the dishes away… but, I’ve now discovered an even harder problem to solve. This particular projection of guilt was because I am, well, a man, and the antagonist male character in her story was SUCH A JERK when she was writing that day. I know, I know – clearly my fault. “I’m sorry, babe.” I’ll try to be less… male?

 

Advice #2 – You have 2 ears and 1 mouth. Just use your ears.

One of my other favorites is when Janine asks me to help storyboard. I get all excited like the staff writers at Greenway Publishing during Elf. She starts just like Miles Finch most of the time. “I got one idea that I’m especially psyched out of my mind about…”

Janine then launches into the middle of a plot (to which I have no backstory, no character development, and no context). She then proceeds to “ask” (intentionally in quotes) me what said character should do or what plot would make the most sense. This “ask” takes about 5 minutes of description that provides no useful context to me as I try to piece together what has happened up to this point in her head.

After the “ask,” comes an approximate 0.3 second pause, after which she proceeds to “tell” me the 3 options. These three (always threes with Janine…) options are then described in copious detail with nary a breath over another 5 minutes or so… followed by an approximate 0.4 second pause.

The conclusion of this 10+ minute storyboard results in frustration. Why? It was my inability to answer in a cumulative 0.7 seconds of open airspace. It concludes with, “Nevermind. I know what I need to do.”

Glad I could help!

Advice #3 – Helpdesk

Janine is great about immersing herself into story, developing characters, interweaving plots, coming up with creative backstories… it’s almost like she has 87 tabs open in the browser in her brain. And in her actual browser. And 19 other applications open. Wait – you can delete emails when you’re done reading them?? “George – my computer isn’t working!!!!” This is the part where I have to ask the question I’ve asked no fewer than 700 times in our marriage… “Sweetheart – when was the last time you rebooted your computer?” On the low end, the answer is usually a week, with the high-end answer usually resulting in a diatribe about how much is going on and “there’s no time” to reboot. As a writer’s partner, it’s just part of the unwritten job description – you are the helpdesk.

It is my distinct honor and privilege to be married to a writer. The creativity and energy that flows from my wife is inspiring and contagious. It does come, however, with a couple of booby traps that I hope you can avoid if you can read between the lines.

PS – she continues to refuse to use me as a cover model, despite my incessant flexing in the bathroom mirror. I haven’t figured out how to resolve that oversight on her part yet, but perhaps I’ll try with a wig tonight in hopes of a closer comparison to Fabio? Must be the hair.

Janine Rosche (12 Posts)

Prone to wander, Janine Rosche finds as much comfort on the open road as she does at home. This longing to chase adventure, behold splendor, and experience redemption is woven into her Madison River Romance series and Whisper Canyon series. When she isn’t writing or traveling, she teaches family life education courses to college students, takes too many pictures of her sleeping dogs, and embarrasses her four children and husband with boy band serenades.


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Comments

  2. I enjoyed this post and while you wrote about the It’s your fault I was thinking I am so glad your wife doesn’t write Suspense. Think all men about to marry a writer need this advice.
    I love this unique idea.

    • I don’t know. It might be fun to practice some fighting skills on him if I wrote suspense…

  3. Oh, George, George, George, you brave and intrepid soul, you. I feel your pain. The discussions that are built on the foundational assumption that you either know what she sees even if it’s in her mind’s eye, or you SHOULD know (and why don’t you, hmm?). The heart’s cry to be recognized as a WONDERFUL listener instead of an inadequate helper. And the exclamations that “my computer is broken”, when all that is necessary is a therapeutic reboot. Ah, my brother, my husbandly soul resonates with yours. My spirit wolf raises a mournful baying at the moonlight glow of a gifted wife.

    You have shared true wisdom and humility in this post. I wouldn’t worry about the cover model thing. Fabio was over-rated. Soldier on. God sees. He knows. Eternity will be your reward. He certainly knows that the odds of her seeing your perspective are slim. We have all married cross-culturally. That’s what makes it an adventure. (My wife told me to say that. Hee, hee, not really :-))

    • Lincoln, he first compared himself to an MMA fighter instead of Fabio. I had to remind him for what blog he was writing. Isn’t it nice that he accepts my feedback?

  5. This was such a fun post! I know my husband would empathize totally- I am always asking him quilting advice, about which he knows nothing, and then say, “ Thanks, I know what I am going to do..”
    Maybe, George, you should try writing comedy

  6. Ok my mom is not a writer but she is an artist and she usually asks my dad for his opinion about her paintings hahaha the “I know what I should do” thing was quite familiar I have heard that in my house.

  8. Such a wonderful post. Thank you George for sharing your life with a writer. I can see a lot of similarities with a quilter. LOL Yes my husband goes through a lot of these with me as that quilter. LOL He is such a precious gem and I plan on keeping him.

  12. Haha! I rarely ever comment on posts here, but George — I loved your post! Planning to share it with my husband.

    Such a unique, interesting blog — kudos to Janine for letting you share your perspective!

    Behind every successful author is a partner or friend who is encouraging, supportive, and embraces our idiosyncrasies! 😂

  13. Thanks for a delightful post, George! Loved Advice #3. Always tease my husband of 48 years that I keep him around as my IT man – the grandkids love his expertise. He always was on the cutting edge of technology since we purchased our first computer in 1984. Last year he kept 5 computers going for Oma’s Virtual Academy – three grandkids computers, mine and his. He taught our 16 year old grandson to follow in his footsteps. Thanks for a fun blog to chase the winter and political doldrums away! Best wishes. Hope more IR authors have their hubby write a blog. Only know one other writer’s hubby, who not only listens but proofreads her manuscripts. Cozy Mystery writer Hope Callaghan and her husband Mitch.

    • The struggle is real. Currently looking at a laptop that is sitting on the desk with the power cord just 2 inches away from the plug… why not plug it in? WHY? Send help.

  17. George!!!!! This is FANTASTIC!!!!!!! I am sharing it so that many others will not feel the pangs of author spouse alone. I am sure there are quite a few who are frustrated in silence and your “voicing” of their shared experiences will help them understand their writerly spouses better (Even if they still won’t be able to understand the 300 imaginary friends). Loves this so much!!!

    • Thinking about organizing a union… not sure what we’d strike about, but there will be strength in solidarity!

  18. I can remember having conversations with Janine about characters that were in her head all the time. She is a gem and I am so glad you can figure out how to support her George.

    • Please, Bethany… send help. If you have decided her brain, please send me the decoder ring!

  21. George, you’re such a great sport! We appreciate you and your ability to “help” with all of the writerly quandaries! And also, Go Rockets!

    • Thanks, Teri… you had me until the Rockets… Go Buckeyes! 🙆🏻🤷🏻‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️⭕️

  22. I love this post! I have “brainstormed” with an author before, so I can relate just a tad, as I knew more about what was going on than you do, though only because we were talking a book in that particular author’s series and what “might” go on in a later book!

    • See, now THAT is a fair fight. :-) Coming into a stream of consciousness that is already in progress… impossible. 😂

  23. I really enjoyed this post! George, you’re a great support system (and assistant) to Janine, and you definitely have a gift for words.

  24. As someone who loves getting the POVs of both MCs (male and female), I loved this post and honestly think there should be more of them. :)

  26. This was the best post ever! Thank you for sharing your humor with us, George! I have to wonder if Janine has based any of her male characters off of you? Or maybe it’s better not to ask? LOL Anyhow, you have found a captive audience here at InspyRomance. And my IT hubby certainly agrees with you that rebooting is the answer to every computer problem.

  27. Wow, George! For a non-writer, your words seem to have really resonated with a LOT of people! Well done!

  28. Wow, I enjoyed reading this post! Sounds like never a dull moment , sounds like it makes for a very fun marriage. Thank you for sharing this. Have a great day and stay safe.

  29. This was a fantastic post! Hubby of 52 years just set me up with my own Chromebook. I’m used to an ipad. So…… yah, IT expert on call.
    Thanks, George. I’d ditch the Fabio wig. She loves you for you! Blessings!

  31. George,

    You’ve got some writing skills of your own. Perhaps a husband-wife book with a math hero is in the future? Thanks for this fun, but absolutely accurate post. My husband salutes you.

  35. Thanks for the wonderful blog post. I have to say, it is not just author’s who give their husbands grief. God bless you.

  39. After reading all these comments, it’s clear you’re a hit. Loved it. You are a great support and obviously proud of your wife. My hubby also has to support my quilting and computer issues-his first comment is always close down your tabs.

  40. I haven’t laughed this hard at a post in…well…I don’t know how long!! “Must be the hair”, oh my word :-D Too funny.

    I love your points, George, especially #2: you have two ears and one mouth. Learning to listen instead of giving advice or “fix” a problem is golden…I tease my husband about this quite a bit! Also, he’s learned to just say “yes, dear” as I puzzle out whatever it may be…lol! It’s a running joke in our house :-)

  41. This is an awesome post, George, and you’re an excellent writer yourself! From the perspective of a grateful reader I just want to say thank you so much for being such an awesome support to Janine in her writing, her books are such a blessing to so many, myself included!

    P.S. I think you and Janine should write a book together, I would totally buy it! 😊

  42. Sounds about right. I warned my husband up front. “I’m going to ask you lots of plot ideas over the years. I can tell. What you need to know is that your job is to give me your opinion without being offended when I don’t take it. Asking, in this one instance, isn’t about getting an actual opinion, it’s about talking out the stuff in my head so I can make sense of it and know what to do next.”

    He just smiles, nods, gives his opinion, and never asks if I took it. Smart man.

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