So What Does Romance Really Look Like?

We’re romance readers and writers here at InspyRomance. We love love! And – don’t shoot me – we might tend to “romanticize” it just a wee bit. But we do love to escape the real world for a time and lose ourselves in a good story.

Unfortunately for me, I’m one of those people who has difficulty truly suspending disbelief when I dig into a book. I love romance that feels real, that I can imagine experiencing myself. Since I’ve never met (or even seen) a tall, dark, handsome, amazingly rich guy who’s perfect in every way, it’s hard for me to lose myself in some stories. I envy those who can!

That got me thinking about “real” romance. What does it look like in everyday life? And how can we celebrate it? We love a good, pretend romance, but how about the guys who make romance a real thing in the day-to-day grind? Listen to what these women have to say about how their husbands have made them feel special:

Angie: I don’t like obligatory flowers for Valentine’s Day and birthdays. So a few weeks ago, my hubby talked to me on the phone while I was on the road. He mentioned it was weird I didn’t like flowers.
“I love flowers, just not the boring required kind. I like the just because kind.”
A few weeks later, I came home from a speaking trip. On the counter was a hydrangea with a note, “Just because…”
Then, a few days later, he plucked a yellow primrose off our bush. “I love you just because…”
I feel loved just because…

Mary: When I was working full-time, I’d get up first and get in the shower. While I was showering, Paul would get up and turn the heat up (in the winter, of course!). A glass of juice would be waiting for me on the bathroom counter when I got out of the shower. And in the winter, he’d start my car so it would be warm when I got in.

Linda:  Sometimes my hubby sends me a “Love ya!” text after he gets to work. It makes me feel special that even though he’s about to start a hectic day at work, he takes a minute to think about me, and then let me know he’s thinking of me.

Another Linda (my sister-in-law) says this about my older brother (who knew??):  Every day he makes sure we have flowers in the house – cut flowers from our own garden in the summer, or in the winter he buys a couple of bouquets and puts them together in a nice vase. When we got married, he told my daughter he would always have flowers…and in over 7 years, he has! It sure shows us he loves us and makes us feel loved.

Stephanie:  My husband makes the morning coffee and always has a cup poured and waiting for me at the table when I come down from my shower. Pretty simple stuff but I love that he thinks of me!

Shannon:  When I first started writing, we thought it was easy to get published. Once we realized it wasn’t, he never threw in the towel – even when it hit his wallet and it didn’t seem like we’d get any of the investment back. Over the years, my writing has taken me to many locations, but I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to drive unless I know the area well. Lots of traffic freaks me out. Luckily, I have a great chauffer. In my pursuit of writing, he’s taken me to numerous conferences, writers’ group meetings, speaking engagements, book signings, and on research trips. I truly couldn’t have honed my skills, gotten published, helped other writers in their pursuit of publication or written the Texas books without him.

Sherrie:  It happened a long time ago, but it’s been something that’s always remained a special moment to me. I’m not a big fru-fru type of girl, so I’m not super easy to buy for. Flowers don’t really impress me, and I certainly don’t need a big box of chocolates to make me fat! In the early days of our marriage, we didn’t have much money, so we couldn’t spend what we had on frivolous things anyway. Whenever birthdays, Valentine’s Day, or anniversaries rolled around, we’d often spend a quiet evening at home and not do something lavish. This one year, he was working second shift and didn’t get home until 2:00am most nights. So on Valentine’s Day, we couldn’t go on a date, but that year, I really wanted a date! I’d been at home with the kids all day/week, and really wanted to do something special. I went on to bed and when my hubby came home, he woke me up and asked me to come downstairs with him. I went down to find coffee and chocolate éclairs, which he knew was my favorite dessert. We sat together in the quiet of the wee morning hours eating our dessert together and drinking coffee without the interruption of the children. That will always remain my favorite Valentine’s Day, and a time that I felt super special to my husband.

Rose:  My husband is not a good caregiver when I’m sick; however, after I had surgery, he stood in the bathroom while I showered for the first week to make sure if I slipped, he was there to help me.

Gail:  We were visiting my sister-in-law who drinks milk, juice and water…I was totally craving a Diet Pepsi. In the morning, I woke up to the sound of a soda can opening close to my ear! My hubby had gone out early in the morning and bought me my much needed caffeine! He knew I needed my fix.

Brenda:  I grew up on a dairy farm so we always had a wealth of cats around, and I loved them all. Then I married into a family of cat haters, including my husband, so I believed I’d have to get my cat fix by visiting my parents. For my birthday, that first year we were married, my husband took me on a mystery drive – a drive that ended up at the Humane Society where he said, “Happy Birthday!” Now that is love! A kitten chose us that day, a hand-fitting tortoise shell that we both loved for 17 years, and was a continuous reminder of my husband’s love for me.

Wendy:  When I got my first cell phone, I didn’t know anything about how to get it set up or how to use it. Mike is my technogeek, so he got it all set up for me. He set it up so that every time I turned it on, which was each morning after I’d charged it, the first thing I saw on the screen was “I love you, Wendy! Mike” I loved seeing that every single day for the life of that phone (which was a very long time!). He never told me about it or showed it to me, he just let me find it the first time I turned it on. So sweet!

Camry:  A new bedtime routine started about a month ago for our five-month-old. Nate had Kaira for most of the evening, and when bedtime approached he put her in a clean diaper and jammies. He’d started praying over her before giving her to me (mostly because as soon as I’m in the room she knows it’s time to eat, and doesn’t have patience for a bedtime prayer!). Every night since then, he’s started the bedtime routine just like that. I love knowing that that is my time to go somewhere else so they can talk to each other, giggle, and roll around on the floor in her room. And I ESPECIALLY love listening to their conversations! As he hands her over to me for nursing, he usually says something like, “I’m in love with this little Biscuit!”

Nancy:  He always has the coffee maker ready to hit “grind.” He brings me dark chocolate bars when I’m stressed out – or just because! He’s always ready to listen. He cleans up if I cook!

Nan: Among others, there is one thing that always stands out to me about my hubby, his unending patience and willingness to go to the store for me.  Seriously, he’s so good about it.  Whether it’s at the last minute before guests arrive, after he’s just come from the store and I forgot to put something on the list, or he’s on his way home from work after a long tiring day, he always, without hesitation, says “yes.”  I guess this seems mundane to most and I think the reason I find it so endearing is because I’ve never been this patient or willing to do for others. It’s a small thing but it speaks ‘love’ to me.

I’m so glad to hear that romance is alive and well! These everyday acts of kindness are the foundation of a solid relationship, actions that truly do speak louder than words. To me, these guys are the real heroes – taking time during the day to let their special lady know she’s loved.

What’s something your special guy has done to show you he loves you? Let’s celebrate it here on InspyRomance!

Stacy Monson (13 Posts)

Stacy is a freelance writer with articles published regularly in local community magazines and national publications. She also writes web copy for area businesses and a monthly newsletter for a women’s health business. She blogs regularly on Land of 10,000 Words where she features Minnesota writers, and provides insights into the writing craft and industry. Past president and founder of MN-NICE, the Minnesota ACFW chapter, she is now the Area Director for Minnesota. Her debut novel, One of Me, releases June 1, 2014, through Choose NOW Publishing. And if you ask her about her 1st grandchild (born Valentine's Day 2014), she'll be happy to show you some pictures.