This is a continuation of an earlier post. You can read Part One here.
Without further ado…here’s the rest of the list. :-)
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I’ve seen authors jump from traditional publishing to indie publishing, and I’ve seen an almost equal number of authors take the leap from Christian fiction to secular fiction. Sometimes people make these changes because they’ve bathed the decision in prayer and truly believe God is leading them toward something different.
Often, though, they are motivated by a desire for greater income or recognition.
Don’t get me wrong. Income is good. It pays the bills – or at least some of them.
Change made in the pursuit of money or fame, though, is never a good idea. The people I know who have gone that path have ended up (for the most part, anyway) disappointed and disillusioned.
Change in and of itself isn’t bad, but change motivated by selfish desire (or self-centric desire) does not honor God.
So, when I want to make a change in my life – whether it’s related to writing or not – I try to make sure I’m pursuing the change for the right reasons. My heart needs to be focused on God and not chasing after a bigger payday, more attention, or greater notoriety.
More people are hurting than most of us realize.
Here’s a simple fact: Life hurts. If it doesn’t, then you’re not doing it right.
(But there’s a lot more to life than just hurt, too.)
The world is full of pain. What I learn about in emails and messages from readers is just a drop in the bucket. So it’s important — vitally important — as a Christian author that I tackle real-world issues and handle them with grace and care. It’s also important that I weave at least a measure of humor into my stories. Because real life is neither all bad nor all good. In our darkest moments, we still find the strength to smile. And in our highest moments, our lives are still touched by sadness and grief. Life is an intricate mix of the mountains and the valleys, the laughter and the tears, the victories and the defeats. But ultimately, when all the rest of that is pushed aside, the thing that most matters is that people walk away from a story having heard truth — having read something that has the potential to move them one step closer to our Savior.
Writers make great friends.
A group of authors I know gets together periodically to write. Being together creates a little extra motivation now and then. One day, four of us sat at a large table at a coffee shop and wrote. We’d blocked out two hours that day, and once the clock hit the appointed time, we began clacking away on our laptops. At the end of our two hours, we started packing our computers away. A gentleman came over and said, “Ladies, I hate to do this, but I’m going to have to ask you to keep it down the next time you come in.”
Because for two hours the only sound coming from our table was the clackety-clack of computer keyboards. Not a word had been spoken.
And we were all perfectly okay with that.
Writers need other writers. We all have friends outside of the industry, and we all love those people. But who can sit for two hours and not speak or even make eye contact and walk away from it saying they had a great time? Another writer, that’s who. Yep. Writers make great friends.
Writing grows me.
Growing in faith means walking more closely with God each and every day. It means dying to self, picking up my cross, sacrificing the things I think I want in order to pursue the things God has for me. And writing pushes me closer to all of that.
Some people talk their problems through. Others think them through. I write things through. Which is a horribly structured sentence, but completely true nonetheless. Writing is how I sort through my emotions and how I deal with pain.
It’s also the place where I most authentically seek God’s face and hear His voice.
Praying and reading the Word are vital. I do those, too. They matter, and I’m better for doing both. But for me, writing is that place where everything else is stripped away and I am completely real with God. It’s also the place where I am quiet enough on the inside to hear what God is saying to me.
I walk more closely to God when writing is a part of my life. And when I walk closely with God, my attitude toward the rest of life is more God-honoring.
Laugh at yourself.
I was fixing dinner the other day for about ten people. Kung Pao chicken. Easy peasy, right? Until you’re turning around in the kitchen and somebody brushes past you, and the entire plate of just-cut-but-still-raw chicken goes sliding right out of your hand. Slimy, raw chicken all over my kitchen floor was not part of my plan for that day. But you know what? It’s totally going in a book. To make people laugh. And if I’m going to use my mess to make people laugh, I might as well laugh, too.
I used to take life way too seriously, and I wasn’t much fun to be around. Writing helped to change that.
So the next time I’m at the grocery store and pick up an apple from the produce table, and I miraculously manage to cause the other fifty apples to tumble off the table, you know what? I’m going to laugh. Probably blush, too. But still. I’ll laugh. Then I’ll file that moment away for future use in a story.
(No apples were harmed in the telling of this story. I can’t make any promises for the chicken, though.)
Thank you so much for making it to the end! This felt like a long list. I’m glad it broke it out into two posts! :)
I learn life lessons from writing all the time. But tell me – Have you ever learned a life lesson from reading? I’d love to hear about it!
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Heather Gray loves coffee, God, her family, and laughter – not necessarily in that order! She writes approachable characters who, through the highs and lows of life, find a way to love God, embrace each day, and laugh out loud right along with her. And, yeah, her books almost always have someone who's a coffee addict. Some things just can't be helped. Despite their different lives and situations, Heather’s characters have something in common. They're all flawed...but loved anyway.
Great post, Heather! You’re so right…we’ve got to laugh at ourselves.
Hi Heather, so right! A friend of mine just changed jobs and is now working at a prestigious grammar school. For a moment I felt…envious..and didn’t like that feeling! It is so easy to look elsewhere thinking that things are better, so I had to take a moment to confess and ask God to keep me focused on the big picture. Laughing at myself is the best thing to help in that process:)
Blessings:)
I agree that laughter is the best medicine, but it comes second to prayer. Both get me through a lot in life. ☺
I always enjoy your posts. I also laugh a lot and try to keep a happy heart.
I guess the best life lesson I learned was forgiving the unforgiveable .
I read a novel about the same subject and the author also had a devotional with the same subject.
I was so convicted that I took all my pain and anger to the Lord and forgave the unforgiveable.
It was a lightness came to my soul.
Even your blogs are fun to read! As a reader, it’s easy to tell the author’s outlook on life by the way they write and the way their characters act/interact. I think I love your books so much because they make me laugh and they always lift me up. I can’t wait to read these scenes in your books and laugh!
Laughter is my happy place. ^_^
Envy – agh! It’s something we all deal with from time to time. It might well be impossible to live in this world and not face that particular temptation. Recognizing it – and not liking the feeling! – are so important. One of the things I’ve learned in life is that when my feelings about something doesn’t line up with God’s word, my feelings need to change. It’s not always easy, but God is ever-faithful!
Amen to that! Being able to laugh at ourselves is important, but all the laughter in the world means nothing if we’re not fostering a relationship (including prayer) with God.
Heather, I love this post. You are so much fun!!!
Thank you so much Judy! I’m glad you enjoy my posts. :) I’ve found that laughter not only makes for a happier heart – but for a lighter one, too. Hugs!!
What a beautiful testimony Linda!! There was a time when I kept trying to forgive something. I would think I’d forgiven the person, but then I’d realize I was upset all over again. I was on a hamster’s wheel going through the process over and over again. Then the lightbulb finally went off and I realized I wasn’t capable of forgiving that particular thing. I needed Jesus to change my heart. That was a long time ago, and my understanding of forgiveness – and of Jesus – has grown a lot since then. It’s a lesson I still hold onto, though. If what I’m doing (in that case, my inability to forgive) doesn’t line up with scripture, then it’s not because scripture is wrong. It’s because I need to change. Some change is easier than others, though. But we serve a God who is able and willing to change us from the inside out, to sanctify us, to grow us. What an amazing God we serve!
Ha! The truth? I write books that reflect the stories I enjoy hearing. You know when you’re in Sunday School, and the teacher asks a simple question, and somebody answers it with a ten-minute story that has everyone falling out of their chairs with laughter while still managing to deliver a real and tangible spiritual truth? Those are the stories I like to hear. If I’m able to translate even a small measure of that into the books I write, then I’m happy. ^_^
Thank you! I’m glad you could stop by today. :)
Inspiring post Heather. Enjoyed your life lessons, which many of us have also learned. Laughter is the best medicine. Makes the hurts in life bearable! As an avid reader, I always enjoy a story where I learn something new (new place, new food, new traditions, and especially new insight to life). Something new makes me pause and reflect. Best wishes and thanks!
Thanks for the great thoughts, Heather. You can never laugh too much.
Thanks so much for stopping by today Renate!
First on the list is so accurate. I’ve recently lost a friendship because this person has decided to pursue money hardcore through MLM and has alienated just about our entire neighborhood trying to get us all on board. She’s a delightful woman of Christ who used to have lots of posts about Him, but for the past year every single time she posts or messages me, it’s all about how the supplement she’s selling will make me look younger. It’s so discouraging, nor has she made those big bucks, but believes it takes about four years. I’ve had to unfollow her, as have many of our acquaintances, because she’s lost that light of Christ. She was much happier before.
I’ve learned lots of life lessons from reading, but since I just got up, I can’t remember any of them :-)
So glad you could stop by today Merrillee! :)
I’m so sorry! Losing friendships is hard enough, but when it’s lost because a person seems to have fallen away from Christ…that hurts on so many different levels. We all need money to survive, and there’s nothing wrong with having a career. When we supplant Jesus as the focus of our live, though, and put money – or career- or fame – or anything – in His place, then we’ve gone off track. We become a boat listing about in the waters with no rudder and no sails. Hugs!!
My husband would tell you there’s a life lesson in that. I’m pretty sure it would involve coffee, too. ^_^ Have a marvelous day Margaret!
I’ve told both my children to pursue what they love. Money is secondary. There’s a quote “if you do what you enjoy, you’ll never work a day in your life.” Or something like that. My son had no clue what he wanted to study when he graduated high school. He loved sports, he loved kids. We encouraged him to study physical education. After four years and a cum laude degree he never could get a job. He substituted some in schools but never got hired. To our big surprise he decided to go into nursing! And he loves it!!! Lesson for mom and dad too I guess.
Awesome post, Heather. If someone can’t identify, they’re not human. So there. Especially as a writer, I had to smile/cringe at the coffee shop example. Was the guy serious or teasing you about keeping it down? I tweeted the “life is an intricate mix” quote. I always try to put humor in my books, too, and appreciate the humor in yours. And the hero almost had an apple avalanche in my most recent book…but the heroine saved the day. :) Blessings to you as you continue to write and navigate life.
I really enjoyed both your posts about being a writer. It helps understand what goes into the production of all the books we read. As a reader I really value author’s hard work in coming up with a great story. (I loved reading Nowhere for Christmas btw. Laughed so hard at some of the things that happened to them and shared so much of it with my husband that he almost–not really–wanted to read it.)
Also, I must say I learn life lessons from reading all the time. Most of the time I feel completely emotional and abruptly stop reading and give a long hug to my husband without saying anything (I’m just too overly emotional to talk) and he just looks at me with a surprised look on his face and asks (in a mocking tone): “what kind of book are you reading?” I just tell him I love him and he says “you should most definitely continue reading whatever you’re reading.” Not that all life lessons are for our life as a couple, but he gives the best of hugs. (I wouldn’t be married to him if I didn’t think so, right?!)
I’d say that physical education is a niche career and can be hard to break into, but I think this all comes down to where God wanted him to be. :-) So the question is – does he nurse for adults or in pediatrics? And you’re so right – we parents learn quite a bit from watching our children live and learn…especially when our advice goes bust. ^_^
Hahaha! I love that. “If someone can’t identify, they’re not human.” ^_^ As it happens, the guy at the coffee shop was joking. At least I thought so. But my default is to assume humor. If someone says something that could either be funny or offensive and I’m not sure which they intend, I assume they’re going for humor. It’s so much easier than assuming the other. :) Glad you could stop by today JoAnn!
I love that! “I wouldn’t be married to him if I didn’t think so…” ^_^ I was just sketching an outline for a story, and I decided there has to be a hug scene. I don’t always have a pivotal hug scene, but for this couple, it’s going to be perfect. How else will she know what he’s really like? (Okay – so there are a million other ways. But for this couple, in this book, this is the way.) After all, the way people hug says so much about them. It tells us things that we can’t see in their face or hear in their voice.
I think reading inspirational authors helps reinforce lessons i have learned or am learning. It reminds me to stop and look at life in light of the Bible and eternity. Laughter is always great medicine. You have to forgive and let go.
I’m a hugger. I can’t deny. I think hug scenes are so meaningful. I’ve not always found people that like to hug, but in grad school I was known to be a hugger and sometimes undergrads who were really down just came to me and said “today I need a hug” and I’d give them a friendly hug and send them on their way to face life. It always felt so meaningful for me to be able to be there for them. (A few grads were into hugs too, but those were mostly boisterous students. I’m a quiet one.)
My daughter was a hugger, too. Some days – if I was grumpy or out of sorts – she’d look at me, hold her arms wide, and ask if I needed a hug. She gave the best hugs, too, but I think part of that is because she loved people. People who love people always give good hugs.
I’m so glad that you get something positive from reading Christian fiction! Whether a story is written to be purely entertaining, or to entertain while teaching a deep spiritual lesson, Christian fiction (romance or otherwise) should come from a Biblical worldview. When that’s happening the way it should, then every book has the potential to deliver Truth into our lives and to point us to Christ and a closer walk.
Love this post – so true of my faith walk and writing journey, too.
Writing my books has been one of the biggest tools God has used to grow me, because I learn the exact same faith lessons my characters need to!
I’m not sure if I’ve learned a life lesson or not, but I can definitely relate to many characters and struggles or insecurities they may be dealing with in the book.
I loved this post, Heather! I’ve learned a lot from reading, but the best thing reading has done for me is that it has connected me with so many awesome writer/reader/blogger friends. I’ve made so many new friends throughout the world by being on street teams for writers, reading/reviewing, following reading blogs, etc. We hear a lot about terrible things happening around the world, but there are SO many amazing people doing wonderful things and writing awesome stories. I mostly read Christian fiction now, and I love all my newfound friends!
Right!? Me too! In part, I think, because I find myself exploring my questions through my characters and their trials. That might well be one of the reasons why my writing is where I hear God the most clearly – because that’s where I’m most authentically asking him the questions of my heart.
So glad you could stop by today Andrea! Writing characters that readers can relate to is every author’s goal, so I’m glad you’re finding that in your reading! :-)
That’s wonderful Winnie! And you’re absolutely right – there’s so much going on in the world around us. If we allowed it, it could drag us down to the point that we wouldn’t be able to see any of the good anymore, either. I’m glad you’ve been able to connect with people that enrich your life and that you’re enjoying fiction that uplifts and encourages. Christian fiction – despite the fact that it comes in many genres – should always carry the hope of Christ. That’s how we shine a light into the darkness around us – whether it’s the darkness in the world, or sometimes the darkness hiding in our own hearts. Hugs!!
Great insights! Thank you, Heather.
So glad you could stop by Judy!! :-)
Fun blog!
I liked your list. I was chaperoning for my son’s school camp out and his leader said he doesn’t sleep much since being in the military. It made me wonder what his story was and why he doesn’t sleep. I only just met him and my personality isn’t outgoing, so I didn’t ask, but I thought it sounded like something a book hero would deal with.
Glad you could stop by!!
Totally! My mind’s already going in twenty different directions creating a backstory for a man I’ve never met. ^_^