One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God.”
The irony is that being still is something I’m not all that good at. In fact, I’m pretty much the worst.
Full disclosure: the last two months have been hard for me. I can’t pinpoint one reason. It’s been a culmination of many things that have made for a difficult season in my life. I was talking to a friend recently and it hit me that perhaps one of the things that make my life feel “hard” is because I’ve not yet learned the art of being still.
Even in the moments where I think I’m taking a break—there is usually something demanding my attention. I’m sitting still, sure. But I’m checking email or responding to a work request. I’m sitting down, but I’m watching TV or making a list of things that need to be done or groceries that need to be bought.
That’s not really the “still” I think I need.
Perhaps for some of us—those personalities like mine that fall into the workaholic/perfectionist category—we avoid being still because it’s hard. In the stillness, when we don’t have an activity to occupy us, when we aren’t tethered to our phones, when there is silence…maybe we have to think about things that are difficult. Maybe we struggle spiritually and only when we are truly still do we have to face it. Maybe we fight off depression by filling our every waking hour with activity until we are so exhausted we can’t help but fall asleep. Maybe our instinct is to worry or to over-analyze and instead we pack our schedules so there’s no time left over for that. Whatever the reason, avoiding being still comes at a cost. (side note, one of the characters in my Homegrown Love/Arcadia Valley Romance series suffers from the “overfilled schedule” plight…Brooke, the oldest of the Jennings sisters, is part of the whole series but her story will come out next July!)
I was in Dallas recently with my husband and some friends. We were there to see U2 and we had tickets that let us be right at the stage. It was a once in a lifetime kind of night. And standing there, waiting for the band, I responded to a work email. And as I sent it, I caught my husband’s eye. He just shook his head. And in that moment I knew…something had to give.
It may seem like a small step, but I’ve turned off notifications on my phone. No more dings when I receive an email. No more pings when I have a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram notification. Because with every ding and every flash of my screen, I’m pulled out of whatever moment I’m in. The thing or the person that has my attention loses it when the phone dings. And there is no being “still” with a constantly buzzing phone.
I’m trying to learn that I’m in charge of my time. That time is currency. That just as the experts tell us we need to tell our money where to go, so do we need to tell our time how it’s spent.
For me, that means checking email or social media when it’s a good time for me. Some writers say they’re “going dark” for a while as they finish a book. I’m wondering if “going dark” might be good for all aspects of life.
Although who knows…when I get my current book all finished and edited and released, maybe I’ll turn my notifications back on. But I don’t think I will. It’s not easy for me—the “no notifications” thing was stressful at first. What if I was missing something? Then I realized that those things would still be there when I have the time to check in on them.
In the meantime, I’m still working on learning to be still. To sit and think with no distractions and no noise. I’m still not good at it—my mind screams at me about all the things I need to be doing. But it feels good, the being still. The quiet feels like a balm to my soul. There is time to think and time to pray and the nice thing is that after a few moments of stillness, I feel better equipped to tackle whatever is about to come my way. I’m less frazzled now, which impacts all aspects of my life in a positive way.
How about you? What’s your solution to the chaos? How do you find ways to truly embrace being still?
Annalisa Daughety writes contemporary fiction set in historic locations, including the Walk in the Park series, Love Finds You in Charm, Ohio, and A Wedding to Remember in Charleston, South Carolina. She lives in Arkansas and is hard at work on her next book.
Annalisa, I can’t tell you how much this post resonated with me. I feel like I could have written it about myself. Like you, I have a difficult time being still, but I’m working on it. Thank you for this.
Hi Annalisa. This was interesting to read, probably because I have a very phlegmatic personality, while my husband struggles to switch off from the day/work, so it is always great to gain insight into how others think/work. For me, I am happy to be still- going for a walk around the block/bike ride by myself etc. or just sitting on the couch with the kids at the end of the day. It may not be ‘quiet’ time, but for me it is being still, no distractions of work, chores etc. just focusing on the moment and taking time to reflect and enjoy. My prayer is that you find times to savour and be still. Perfect verse!!
Blessings:)
Hi Annalise! Whenever I became overwhelmed with responsibilities as daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, and teacher; BE STILL And KNOW that I AM GOD was my verse. He is in control. So I would still often for only a few minutes, take some deep breaths, and let God take control. I am with Wemble, I like solitude, quiet, and taking in the moment – enjoying nature or watching children play or clouds float by! Thanks for the post and may God help us take time to BE STILL!
What a great post! Something I need to read over and over! Thanks!
Wow Annalisa,
You hit it right on the nail! It really is a hard thing to do. Just recently I had to go somewhere and once I got there and was traveling back I realized I didn’t have my phone. At first I felt nervous and a bit off and then I remembered a few years ago I didn’t anything called a cell phone and I did just fine then, I can do just fine now. It was sort of freeing. I’m trying to not be so plugged in but there are times it’s needed.
Being still takes strength and determination. I’m working on this in my life!
Thanks for your post!
I loved your post, Annalisa. I wish I could get to that place of stillness.
My biggest issue is that I don’t know how to turn off all the things running through my head. The lists (even if I don’t write them down), the to-do items, the stories, etc are every churning about in my mind. I don’t remember a time when I’ve been able to just sit and not do something else. Even when I watch TV, I play games or check FB because I get bored with the shows.
I’m retired but I still feel like being on internet, Facebook, Pinterest, emails, Instagram is sometimes wasting my time. I should be spending more time crocheting or reading.
I take a seat in my back yard and look at the mountains.
Thanks, Jill! I’m glad it resonated with you. :) It’s always nice to feel like there are other people out there who deal with some of the same things I do!
Thanks! :) Switching off from work is always a struggle for me! I’m learning though.
Great advice, Renate! :) Being quiet and still just for a moment and letting God take control is a perfect solution.
Thanks, Jackie!
Thanks, Marylin! I am the same way…it occurred to me recently that we used to travel without phones! Now I mapquest everything and am able to Google restaurants nearby. But just a few years ago, I remember being armed with a hand-held map and travel book. :)
Thanks, Ginger! That is definitely my problem!! My mind is always working on something–even when I’m supposed to be relaxing. :)
Gail, finding time to read is always a challenge for me! But when I do have the time, I enjoy it so much! :)
That sounds lovely, Merrillee! I was actually torn on whether to use a photo of the ocean or of the mountains in my post photo. Both are places I find lots of peace. (and in the flat Arkansas delta where I live, I’m kind of far from both!) :)
I like your post very much. I never thought about “be still” as actively being still, more like “exist and know I’m God.”
I used to have “coffee time” with friends or just myself as a time to go outside the lab/classroom and be still just enjoying life. I haven’t had that in a while… I do miss it.
I can relate to “going dark”! In the midst of buying a house (one of those God surprises), packing up the house we rented, unpacking to the new house, my week long vacation, and so many other monkey wrenches being thrown into my neat little world in a two month time….I got SO behind on my book reviews! I’m not joking when I said, I had a least a dozen that needed read & reviewed (if not more). I was so stressed from everything that I really had no choice but to turn off my online life, and concentrate on reading. I can’t tell you how relieving that was! No emails I thought I HAD to answer, no blog posts I thought I HAD to read & comment on, no FB post I thought I HAD to catch up on….you get the picture! I’ve changed how I do things now. NO more online things taking over my life. Like you said, those things will still be there when I get to them :-) But they will be on my time!
In the meantime, I’m loving reading more! I’m getting to all those books that I felt I had no time for and enjoying every moment.
I need to learn to be still, and find a quiet time I’m awake and alert and the kids are asleep. Great post and something to chew on. :)
Thanks for your post. Being still is one of the most difficult things for me, my husband always says that when I have nothing to do I always find something to fill up our time and never allow us to rest and enjoy the day.. I am trying to work on that, though.
I love what Renate said. I couldn’t agree more! Great post, Annalisa!
I hear you on the mobile phone notifications! It dings, and I feel like Pavlov’s dog. I’ve turned off most of the audible notifications, which helps, but I notice my phone still lights up when something new appears … The only thing that truly works is deleting the app!
Thanks for the timely reminder to be still.