May is National Foster Care Month in the United States, and if you’ve followed me on any social media for a while, you’ll know that foster care and foster care adoption are subjects that are dear to my heart. Three of my children were adopted through foster care in 2013, and we fostered two other babies before closing our license in 2016 at the urging of my daughter’s therapist.
The day I met my girls for the first time is forever etched in my memory. Two enormous brown eyes peered at me as I nervously chatted with the social workers who had brought her and her younger sister to visit my home for the first time. Her chubby hands shoved bite after bite of chicken nuggets and orange wedges—always a kid favorite in my home—into her mouth as fast as she could chew them.
Baby sister already had her food taken away, and I put one bite at a time onto her plate since she couldn’t seem to stop herself from stuffing everything into her mouth at once. I was told both food stuffing and food hoarding are common among foster kids.
I couldn’t help but smile at the wide, infectious grin of the older little girl. My own “birth” daughter, only half a year older than her, wanted to play with her so badly. We finished snack time, and the girls went to play in our living room as the adults watched on.
My heart broke for these two beautiful little girls. They were babies still, and we were their third foster home in four months. What should have been a time of attachment and bonding had turned into a revolving door because of the behaviors they’d exhibited due to the trauma of being separated from the only parents they knew.
No one could have properly prepared me for the depths of grief and pain foster care would bring into my life. When I looked at those little girls, I saw another woman’s daughters. I saw Easter and birthdays and Christmases spent apart from their birth family. I saw a cycle of family trauma and loss. But most of all, I saw an opportunity to love like Jesus.
The road has been bumpy…after all, trauma doesn’t disappear overnight. There have been times when I was brought so low that all I could do was cry out to God. Through it all, my message to anyone considering foster care would still be, it’s worth it.
Since I started writing, I’ve endeavored to include social issues I’m passionate about in my novels, and foster care is featured prominently in my debut series. My first novel, A Heart to Cherish, started out with the story of Julia, a former foster child who aged out without being adopted. In book 3, A Heart to Redeem, Chris has to go through the foster care system to get custody of his daughter, Paisley, whose mother had never told him about her. I’m especially looking forward to sharing books 4 and 5 with you, Lord willing, later this year. Both of those books will include more characters who either have been or are still in foster care.
Thanks for visiting today! I’d love it if you would recommend CCR books to me that feature storylines with foster parents or children or just tell me something you’re passionate about in the comments to let me know you stopped by!
Judith McNees lives in Michigan, where she enjoys spending time hiking with her kids and breaking out into random songs to annoy them. She loves to travel, and visiting all 50 states with her husband is at the top of her bucket list. She has a B.A. in English from Western Michigan University and is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers.
Here its not as easy to adopt foster children which is a pity as many families who foster would love to adopt. My friend has 4 boys currently. She has had the 2 youngest from babies both premature with health issues. and the other two have different issues too.
When you said about its common for foster children to stuff food and hoard it is similar with rescue animals. I have 2 rescue cats both dumped and it’s clear they were both abused. Libby at everything in sight for a good 9 months and then I think she realised she wouldn’t be dumped again and she started to eat what she liked and not eat things she didn’t where as before she ate it all. Henry wasn’t as bad food wise but it took about 6 weeks to trust me fully.
I am always so humbled by the amazing love and compassion shown by foster carers, I haven’t done it myself but I come across it through my work and the difference you all make to the lives of the children you work with is incredible.
I don’t think I’ve read any other CCR with storylines involving foster care, I will look out for your new books once they’re out, it’s a great series so far.
Such a shame it isn’t easier to adopt there. These kiddos deserve permanency. Our dogs are all rescues as well. Two of them were older dogs that we adopted from another state after they experienced a hurricane, causing them to send a bunch of abandoned and lost pets to other states. We didn’t have food issues with them, but we did notice other neglect and abuse behaviors. It is very sad that people will treat animals that way. Thanks for stopping by!
It was definitely something we felt God called us to do and with His grace. Also, as a newer author, it’s always encouraging to hear people enjoy my books. Thanks for your comments.
I’ve read books with foster children, and books where the main characters had been raised in foster care. However, I can’t come up with the titles right now! I have quite a few friends who have fostered and adopted, too.
That always happens to me, too! I remember one time in particular I could only remember one other title when someone asked me. Thanks for saying hi!
My parents fostered when I was young. They had wanted to adopt the baby boy they had for years, but he went back to the mother. They fostered a few more children and then stopped. I always wanted to foster when my children grew up, but my husband did not agree. I admire the foster parents who do this for the right reason. My brother- in- law was a social worker and told stories of terrible foster parents. It was so sad for children to be taken from their parents for neglect and abuse, but then went in homes of strangers for the same neglect and abuse.
Hi, and what a Big heart you and your family have. God Bless you and your family for what you do for children. I think I would find it very hard to foster a child if I were not able to adopt him or her. My heart breaks for kiddos in this situation and Thank you for doing this for children . Have a great weekend.
That happened to us as well. We had the little boy for 15 months, and then he went back to his birth mom, who lost him later anyway. By then, we couldn’t take him anymore. Completely devastating. One of my best friends was in foster care in California, and she was in a situation like you were talking about. She had to get a job to feed herself and her foster sisters because the foster parents would only give then one meager meal to split. It’s awful the stories she told.
Thank you for your kind words, Alicia. You have a great weekend as well!
My cousin and her husband fostered many children there was a boy they fostered for a few years that they were hoping to adopt but then he had to go back to his mom it was sad as he was neglected as a baby. All the children they fostered went back to there parents except a set of twins they adopted they I think are 11 or 12 now they started fostering the twins at 18 months.
That’s the hard part about foster care…the goal always starts with reunification. It was very heartbreaking!
As far as CCR books with foster children, the series that I thought of right away was Kathryn Springer’s “Castle Falls” series, which was published by Love Inspired. The series was about 3 brothers, now adults, who had been fostered. Each of the first three books is about one of the brothers finding love (of course!) Don’t read this next bit if you don’t want spoilers, but if I remember correctly the brothers chose not to be adopted because there had been a baby sister which had been taken from the home first, and they wanted to make it easier for her to find them if she ever chose to do so–which is the topic of the fourth book in the series.
I’ve read other Love Inspired books with fostered and/or adopted children, most notably the multi-author series “Tiny Blessings” and “Tiny Blessing Tales”. Kathryn Springer wrote one book for each of those series, too.
can’t think of any
I don’t know of many either. I’ve seen a few people on social media say they’re writing them, though! Thanks for commenting!
Thanks so much! I’ll have to look those up. Alexa Verde has a series about adult foster sisters called Escape to Cowboy Crossing, which is romantic suspense. I’ll have to look up Castle Falls. I honestly haven’t read a lot of LI books yet, but I’m starting to!
Hello. We are former foster care parents. It certainly is a hard road. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you.
Thank you, Debra!
The Alexa Verde set is great! The comment you made about your friend who was in foster care in California sounded a lot like how Alexa describes the situation those women grew up in.
Yes, very similar. Some of the details were shocking, to say the least. My friend eventually turned in her foster parents when they took in a very young girl who wasn’t old enough to take care of herself. It still gives me shivers to think about.
It seems such a hearwarming and heartbraking vocation to foster. I can’t recall any CCR books with fostering in them other than yours. It’s such a pity that it is so difficult to foster here. Mum took in a few foster children when we were little and the fear from them was enormous. Every child deserves to be loved rather than live in fear. I’m really glad you focus a spotlight on fostering in your books so that it is there in people’s minds and hearts.
It is definitely both, and the process to get licensed here was quite daunting. It is unfortunate that even with such an extensive process, people who only do it for the wrong reasons still slip through the cracks. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!