I’ve been watching a lot of C-dramas this past year and one recurring theme I’ve noticed in these shows is how there’s usually a character who’s in love with another character, but the latter character doesn’t love them back. Eeks and sigh, right? As an observer, it’s so painful to watch this type of relationship unfold and to experience all of the angsty feelings involved. I don’t know about you, but unrequited love is possibly the worst kind of love there is.
I may or may not be speaking from experience. ;)
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve had my fair share of unrequited love, both as the “lover” and the “lovee”. To be honest, neither side is pleasant, but it is slightly better to be the heartbreaker than to have your heart broken. Would you agree?
The funny thing I’ve realized about unrequited love is how much it truly is one-sided. When you have feelings for someone, it’s so easy to read into everything that person says or does. You find yourself hanging onto every gesture, word, and glance, and hoping beyond hope that they mean something special just for you. And the hardest part is all the rationalizing you do in your head to convince yourself that there is a future for the two of you, despite all the signs that the other person is just not into you.
Yup. Unrequited love stinks.
That’s why I really hesitated to include such a relationship in one of my books. I only finally decided to do so because I promised the character that she would get her own story with a happy ending. Not with the man she originally had feelings for, but with someone even better suited for her!
I’m talking about Danica, the lovely bookstore owner, who had a big crush on Brandon Spark in A Sudden Spark. Unfortunately, Brandon didn’t see her as more than a good friend, which was a fact Danica had to come to terms with. But the moment she met Brandon’s brother, Darren—her heart started beating again. And while she and Darren had to overcome some challenges to get to their happy ever after, she couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Their story in At First Spark shows how sweet love can be with the right person who loves you as much as you love them.
Isn’t that the case in real life, too?
I’m so thankful that the unrequited love I had back in college never went anywhere. Even though it was painful and hard to give up on that silly one-sided dream I had, it was for the best. Because a few years later I understood without a doubt why God had allowed me to go through that heartbreak … so I could meet my hubby and marry him!
Perhaps unrequited love isn’t that bad … so long as you trust the Lord to heal your heart and to lead you to experience a real, true, and lasting love with the one he has for you.
Tell me, what do you think about unrequited love? What other CCR books have you read with this type of relationship?
A chauffeur and referee by day (AKA a stay at home mom of two), Liwen Y. Ho writes inspirational and sweet romance infused with heart, humor, and a taste of home (her Asian roots).
This trope is hard to watch. Love triangles are one I avoid.
Hi Gina! I understand what you mean. It’s not easy to deal with all the emotions involved. Thanks for commenting!
I can’t remember reading too many of this type of story but if the character who is unrequited ends up with someone way better than he/she ever imagined, it could be very rewarding!
Hi Laurie! Oh, for sure!! That is the best part of this trope! Thanks for commenting!
I like it in fiction when the character finally realizes when their friend isexactly the right person for them. Sweet on You by Becky Wade is an example.I
Hi Jcp! Yes, I love friends to more stories too! Sometimes it just takes a while for the characters to realize what’s in front of them. Thanks for commenting!
I know I’ve read some, but I have to be honest, names of the books are escaping me at the moment!! I have to admit, these are not my favorite, either.
Hi Trudy! No worries! :) Maybe they’re harder to remember because the trope wasn’t as enjoyable? Thanks for commenting!
Hi, I think reading this trope of unrequited love can be a big help for people that are going through this, it might open their eyes to see that they are worth it and that there is someone else out there who is perfect for them. Have a great weekend and stay safe. Thank you for sharing this great post.
Hi Alicia! I love your perspective about this trope. :) Yes, God has the best for us, even if we can’t see it at the moment. Thanks so much for commenting!
Unrequited love is sad, but it’s great when the character then finds someone who is ideal for him/her!
I have never experienced it because I am too rational… if the boy does not show signs of being interested in me I quickly lose all hope and walk away. My mother taught me since I was little “when they don’t love you they don’t love you, begging won’t make them love you” and I’ve always remembered it.
I also learned that I don’t have to endure alone… if I ask God to take the boy out of my way if he is not the right one, he responds…I have also sadly had to pray for the heart of a rejected boy to be healed and to help me have compassion and grace in saying “no”.
Hi Lilly! Good for you for being able to keep a straight head in those situations! Your mother gave you some great advice. Thanks for commenting!
Yes, I’ve had quite a few crushes in my teen/young adult life & it really does stink! I don’t know if I’ve ever been a “lovee”, but I know I’ve had many guy friends in the past that I considered either like a big brother or a good friend. None of them ever indicated they liked me as more than that…or at least to my face, lol!
I also can’t think of any books with this troupe, but probably the ones I have read have been the friends-to-more where the couple do end up together in the end. I’m not sure I’d enjoy an unrequited love story, and know for sure I don’t like love triangles. I think it would be a tricky troupe for an author to write.
Hi Trixi! I also enjoy friends to more stories because they’re a little like unrequited love in the beginning. And yes, I agree, love triangles must be tricky to write. I personally don’t enjoy them so I haven’t tried (and probably won’t lol). Thanks for commenting!
Brandy Bruce’s The Last Summer, and After the Rain, are the best I’ve ever read in the unrequited love trope. I cried along with both Sarah and Debra as the heartbreak tore them apart! You really need to read both books to get the complete HEA…
It’s not a trope I look for, I must admit, but a well written story makes it worthwhile.
Hi Margaret! I’ll have to look for those! It sounds like did this trope well. Thanks so much for sharing!
I love that AHA moment when the character realizes that God has something better in store for him/her :)
Hi Natalya! Oh yes, the clarity and peace that comes with that is priceless! :) Thanks for commenting!
Some things are just not meant to be.
Hi Mary! So, so true. And for good reasons too, which we need to trust God with! Thanks for commenting!
I sometimes enjoy romances with love triangles to see which guy she chooses or the other way around.
Hi Kendra! It’s so interesting, right, especially if it’s not the person you thought they would end up with. Thanks for commenting!
I agree that it feels easier to be the heartbreaker than heartbroken. 💔 I read “At First Spark” & really enjoyed it. Brandon & Darren are my favorite Spark brothers. 😉
When I had feelings for this guy (who is now my husband), my best friend used to say to me, “Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.” I read into everything! “Does he just see me as a younger sister in Christ? Does he like another girl?” It felt like torture…haha. But I’m so glad he started liking me 1.5 years after I started liking him and that God led us into marriage.
Hi Akemi! Hehe, I do love Brandon and Darren, too.
Aww, that must’ve been hard waiting during those 1.5 years! But thank God it all worked out! :) Thanks for commenting!
Hi Liwen :) I think you did a great job with Danica’s story. It’s definitely a trope that’s kinda hard to watch/read about, but if that character is sweet and makes me root for them, I’ll certainly be hoping for their own story/HEA.
Hi Priscila! :) Aww, thanks for the encouragement! I definitely agree that some characters (like Danica) are easier to root for. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Liwen. this book was chatted about in bookchat. (as was one of the others in the series).
I am not sure but I think a couple of your books have had unrequited love in them. Tropical Kiss and Tell sort of has this as the hero really likes the heroine but has been warned off by her dad.
Hi Ausjenny! I watched that video too and was so happy to see those two books mentioned! Oh, that’s true about Micah being warned off by Lucy’s dad so it seemed like he wasn’t interested in her–good point! Thanks for commenting!
I’ve read a few love triangles. One series were Diary of a Teen Mom.
Hi Amy! That sounds like a dramatic series, based on the title! Thanks for commenting!
I haven’t read any at least recently so it’s hard to remember ones from the past.
Hi Sylvain! I’m like you, titles are hard to remember. I tend to remember more of the characters’ details. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Can’t recall any stories with this trope, though I prefer a happier ending so I might well have skipped any.
Hi Dianne! Yes, it would be harder to write a happy ending for everyone involved with this kind of trope. Thanks for commenting!
I would say that it would be a minority of people who go through life without experiencing unrequited love. It makes up the story of our lives to shape us into who we are in our relationships. I cannot think of any books off the top of my head where that is the case. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you.
Hi Debra! You are so correct that most people have experienced unrequited love. Thank God for His grace to sustain us through these experiences. Thank you for commenting!