Relationships fascinate me.
Let me be more specific. Male/female relationships fascinate me. Men and women are so very, very different — the way we speak, the way we handle emotions, the way we interpret each other’s words and actions, the way we face problems and stress. I could go on and on, right?
We see this conflict in the world around us. Neighbors divorce, an engaged couple splits up. Betrayal, forgiveness, hurt, healing — we see these events happen every day, and sometimes they happen to us.
Sure doesn’t sound very romantic, does it?
What I love about relationships is that they work best when the people in the relationships follow God’s Word. In every aspect of their life. Why do so many people in our world, our countries, struggle with relationships? Well, can we look at many of them and see that they’ve thrown God’s way to the side? I think so.
For that matter, can we look at many Christians and see that they’ve thrown God’s way to the side? Can I look at struggles I’ve had and see where I’ve thrown God’s way aside?
Absolutely,
My books are romantic women’s fiction. I like to put people in really painful, tough situations and see how they react, see what has to happen with the hero and heroine and God before these two people can have a healthy, happy, romantic relationship. Which means that God’s way of living, the biblical way of living, really is the most romantic way. The happiest marriage and relationship is one in which both people look to the Bible for how to live.
And then live it.
That’s the hard part, isn’t it? We know, usually, what we’re doing wrong. When it comes down to it, though, we just don’t care. We prefer our own wisdom and methods of living. We don’t want to forgive. We don’t want to change the way our family runs. We don’t want to put someone else’s needs above our own.
Now we’d never say that, but sometimes our actions do, don’t they? We’re short tempered. We hold grudges. We practice the good comeback for the next time we’re hurt.
Is it possible to move beyond deep, serious hurts? Is it possible for a woman or man who’s truly been wronged to love their spouse again? To have a happy relationship again?
If we submit to God and do it His way, it is.
That’s what I explored in Homestands, a book about a divorced couple that’s brought back together by their son. They’ve both hurt each other. Both feel wronged. One has since become a Christian. The other has not. Is there any way for a couple like this to be reconciled?
Is there any chance for a story like this to be romantic?
I certainly think so.
Have you ever thought about God’s laws on marriage and the family — on relationships — as romantic? I don’t think I ever have until tonight. But the evidence shows that they are. God, the inventor of marriage, knows exactly what makes our relationships work. What makes us able to love each other. And that would make God the most romantic of all.
Has there been a time in your life where you’ve seen this for yourself? Where following God’s ways brought true happiness in your dating or marriage relationship? Do share!
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Sally Bradley writes big-city fiction with real issues and real hope. A Chicagoan since age five, Sally has been fascinated by all things Chicago (except for crime, politics, and traffic) for almost as long. She now lives in the Kansas City area with her family, but they get back to Chicago for important things -- like good pizza and a White Sox game. A freelance-fiction editor and former president of her writing chapter, Sally has won a handful of awards for Kept and another work-in-progress. Visit her online at sallybradley.com or on Facebook.
Thought provoking blog. Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (NIV) As a retired minister’s wife of 43 years, I believe this verse sums up God ‘s romantic side. God has a helper suitable for us. Will this person be perfect – NO. Will he irritate me – YES.
Love is a choice. As a young woman, I never wanted to marry a pastor or missionary, because I understood the strain it puts on a relationship. When I met my husband, he was a young Christian and wanted to be a doctor and then God called him into the ministry. Following God’s leading is a difficult choice, but worth it.
Marriage is give and take. Takes humor and commitment. My husband and I tease when around our anniversary people ask how long we have been married. I have been HAPPILY married 22 years and he has been HAPPILY married 21 years – for a total of 43 years. Another joke is that after 43 years, I would never divorce him, because it takes to long to train a new one.
I never thought about God putting romance in a relationship but definitely can see your point and agree with it. Looking forward to read homestead.
My husband and I just celebrated our 40th anniversary! I will have to read this book!
It definitely is a give and take. We have been happily married 36 years. We know some people celebrating 55 years of marriage. We tease, love, forgive and enjoy the Lord together.
Thought provoking, Sally. But then God romances us all the time with the serenades of nature…birds chirping, frogs croaking, leaves rustling in the breeze.
Marriage is definitely an adventure, isn’t it, Renata? And some parts of it are tougher than others. I like it when people are honest about their marriage, particularly in this era of Facebook and Pinterest where it’s too easy to make our lives appear perfect.
Like I said, I hadn’t either! Kinda neat to noodle on, isn’t it?
My grandparents just celebrated 67 years of marriage. Can you imagine? You’re just over halfway to that, Diana! :D
Oh, I like that, Ginger! All the flowers He gives us in nature, weather that calms our moods. Good point!
How could I not believe God is romantic when He is the greatest matchmaker of all.
Happy fortieth, Rita! We just hit 20. Got here pretty fast, but 40 seems a long ways off.
Good point! Thank you.
I think an important turning point in our marriage was when I started asking God to change me more than begging Him to change my husband.
Oh my goodness, this is so true! For me that was when someone told me (via a Christian fiction novel–isn’t that awesome?) that marriage wasn’t my right to my Disney fairy tale but just another way God used to make me more Christlike. So thankful that author was bold enough to write that book!
I’m sorry that I am not locating a separate place to comment. My husband and I have been married 44 years now and have weathered many storms of health problems and psychological problems with our son. Depending on God through them has brought us closer together.
Thanks you, Sally, for writing stories for us that search deeper for God’s true meaning of life and love.
Thank you for your kind words there, Kathryn. And you’re totally right about what brings us closer. If life goes perfectly, we don’t need God. Or each other. We’ve just gotten news this morning that my grandmother is passing away. As sad as this is, it sure has brought us all closer to each other.
Unfortunately I did not pick the right person to marry. Due to my faith, I do a lot of praying and I know God’s listening!
Oh, Linda. I’m sorry. That’s hard. But you’ve really turned that around, it looks like. I’m sure all the praying has brought you very close to God.