If you like real life love stories, you’ve got to hear about the one that inspired my work-in-progress, Fiancé Finale.
A friend of mine dated a guy, but when they broke up, he got engaged to someone else. On the night before his wedding to the other woman, my friend randomly prayed, “God if you want me to marry Jerry, don’t let him get married tomorrow.” Then she thought, “That was weird.” And forgot all about it. Until…
You guessed it. She found out months later that Jerry didn’t make it down the aisle.
After that, she was like, “Oh no. Now I have to be his wife, whether I want to our not!” Of course, they’re now happily married with four kiddos, but can you imagine all the conflict between the prayer and the proposal?
I never forgot their story, and it became a subplot in Husband Auditions. Meri reveals to her brother Charlie that his former flame Nicole didn’t wed her new groom, and he has a moment of panic. Because he’d prayed the same prayer that my friend had.
I’m just getting started on this romance, and I’m excited to explore God’s will vs. free will. Plus, I think it’s a great setup for the heart issues of selfishness (Charlie jilted her for a job opportunity he wanted) and pride (Nicole will have to humble herself to accept him back after being jilted).
Charlie was out of the country for most of Husband Auditions, but you’ll get to know him better in Hero Rehearsals, which releases August 29th. Watch for the cover reveal next month!!!
Now, I’d love your ideas for Fiancé Finale. If the man who jilted you at the altar showed up to propose again because he thinks it’s God’s will, how would you respond?
Angela Ruth Strong survived breast cancer, works as a flight attendant, and uses her own crazy life experiences as inspiration for the stories she writes. Her books have earned TOP PICK in Romantic Times, been nominated for a Christy, won the Cascade Award, and become Amazon bestsellers. She and her husband also got to play extras when her novel Finding Love in Big Sky was adapted for film. To help aspiring authors, Angela started IDAhope Writers where she lives in Idaho.
I’m pretty sure I’d be unwilling to entertain such a thought. I might be open to meeting for coffee sand talking about what happened, but to go from jilted to engaged without a lot of time, effort, and working through the past seems foolish.
I might meet with him just to hear him out and to get closure but if he left once he could leave again and hopefully I have already moved on with God’s plan for me.
That’s an amazing story.
I think if someone who jilted me at the altar showed up and proposed again, it would be a firm no from me. It’s one thing to break up with someone, but leaving them at the altar shows a really callous disregard for how hurt and humiliated they would be, to be expecting to marry someone and then with no explanation be left in front of friends and family all alone.
People do change, and I do try to show people forgiveness as God would want, but I think this would be too far for me. If he was really convicted that it was God’s will we get married, I would pray about it myself, and be open to meeting with him to talk about it, but without a really good reason for his behaviour, and a strong sense from God myself that this was the right path, I couldn’t do it, I don’t think I would ever really trust him again, and trust is so important in marriage.
Agreed.
I like it.
Wise.
I honestly am not sure. I do know that he’d have A LOT of talking to do!! And, his actions better be something good, too!
It would be a “you have to work for it” kind of situation.
I’m never one to tell God no, but there would be a lot of prayer on my part and a lot of wooing on the guy’s part.
That second proposal would be a definite no with the caveat that if it is truly God’s will, God Himself is going to have to make it clear, and the former fiancé is going to have to work their butt off to even begin to prove they’re trustworthy, a man of God that I am willing to marry, and not someone I should just slug and walk out right now from. And he had had better do a long dating period and a long engagement. This is going to take time and a lot of it, IF I’m even willing to entertain it. Then it would also be a lot of prayer and searching on my part in order to decide if it truly is God’s will.
The other more likely scenario would be, I’d probably just straight up tell him no, he’s an idiot, give him the what-for, and then leave. Then when I finally got alone with God start processing it with Him. God would have to really work on my heart to even consider it, but I’d say your character had better be a pretty mature Christian already to even be willing to walk that road with God. It doesn’t make it easy, but to have that willingness to do so comes from a place of past experiences of God getting her through and having full trust in Him. She will still grow and struggle and question God, but the foundation of a solid faith already needs to be there.
I would have to sit down and have a talk and see why he left me at the altar before I gave him an answer.
That’s a tough one. I would sit down with him, have a conversation, and let him provide an explanation, followed by prayer to see if he matured and is sincere and if it’s God’s will.
No, I would not take him back.
What a tough question! I’d have to pray on that for sure. I’d guess the ex and I would have to have some serious discussions. Ultimately, I’d have to trust God.
I’m not even sure I could meet with him, if he had humiliated me and left me at the altar. If I was feeling secure, I would need to meet him to discuss what happened, his feelings, and mine, and look at the outcomes both of us were left with. Trust can be a fragile thing, and I am more stubborn than I like. I like to think I could listen to God, if He told me to allow this man back into my life, but to be considering a proposal after he left me at the altar, would certainly be a God thing, because I don’t think I would ever do this on my own.
That is a tuffy. It might take awhile, but I would probably listen to what he had to say. Then I would hope that I would pray about it and mediate on it before I gave him an answer.
That’s a tough question that would take a lot of prayer. I love that your friend’s story had a happy ending. Perfect premise for a romance book.
I always say, be careful what you pray for! Once when I prayed for something specific, I wanted to snatch it back immediately, but God answered it to the letter the very next week, and He was glorfied!
My knee-jerk response is No, but I’d have to think about it and pray about it a lot before I’d accept it as God’s will just on his say so.
The book sounds interesting
As many have said before, I think there would need to be some time for talking and understanding what happened. Was it a matter of maturing, things happening, a life change? There would need to be work and forgiveness in the relationship before I’d ever consider letting him back into my life.
I’d be pretty skeptical! I’d ask God to tell me directly that we were supposed to get married. :D
no idea
Wow, talk about a hard one. The first question that popped into my head was if he’s so sure it was God’s will, why didn’t it work the first time? And as others have mentioned, there would have to be a lot of talking/processing/counseling.
It would be a no from me. How could he ever be trusted?
That’s a tough question. I think my first response would be no way, but I would hope that if I’d prayed that prayer and that’s how God answered it that He would soften and open my heart enough to say yes a second time. There’d have to be some work done on the relationship though, because I’d imagine that kind of things happening would make one very hesitant about the marriage.
Smart.
He’d have to do a lot of growth.
Right?
Good points!
What would be a good reason for having left?
Yeah, God would have to be clear to both of you.
Understandable.
Makes sense.
For sure.
Haha. That is great.
Samesies.
Thanks! I’m excited about it.
Absolutely.
You’d have every right to be skeptical!
You wouldn’t punch him? 😉
Exactly!
Understandable.
Totally.
I believe I would first stop and say no. I would then go to prayer. I would hope that if the person who proposed would be willing to give me some time and space to work this all out in my mind. I would like to know the reason he left the other person at the altar. It is not that I would not believe him, but I would have doubts since I had been hurt before. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
None really it would of been better to break up before getting engaged I have a few cousins that were not ready to get married so they broke up a time or two with that person then after they broke up realized they made a mistake and got back together now those couples are married and have one or two children or are pregnant with there second or third child .
Tough one , but first I would pray and seek the Lord to lead me.
Myself personally…I really don’t know. Depends on how much I loved the person and if I had released my anger and truly forgave the person.
I do know a bride who broke off the engagement three times with her husband before they wed. Now, they have been married many years and have two beautiful and grown daughters. She couldn’t do the whole wedding scene and walking down the aisle. Once they figured it out, they eloped. They are still happily married.
I would be skeptical. If it was on the day of the wedding and he just didn’t turn up I am not sure I would want to take him back. He would need a really good reason why he didn’t turn up (like he ended up in hospital, or an emergency came up).
If it happened before the wedding and he had come and told me then I may let him speak. But I really think it would take a miracle or devine intervention for me to trust him again. I would need to know this time he was 100% committed and any doubts were gone.
Well said.
Wise.
Oh wow! THERE’S a story!!!
I get that.
I’m not sure. It’ll take lots of prayers to trust him again….
Agreed. Both parties need to hear from God.
I wouldn’t say no immediately. But I definitely would not say yes. That would be something that would require time as well as a lot of prayer.
Probably no.
Had something similar happen to be, except the engagement ended 2 months before the wedding. Technically he broke it off (but only after I told his therapist that if he didn’t do it within a few days, I would). The engagement ended because he kept waffling on his decision, even proposed to me again after being engaged for a few months. It became clear to me he was still working through some family issues and not ready for marriage.
I moved on. The week I met my now-husband for our first date. He called me up to tell me he still had the ring & wanted to get back together. NO THANK YOU! Unfortunately he didn’t take no for an answer and started stalking me. Took a policeman showing up on his door to explain it to him.
Meanwhile I moved ahead with my life.
As for jilting someone at the altar, I could see forgiving them but not marrying them. How do you rebuild trust that they won’t leave again?
Hi, well , I wouldn’t take the bait! I would tell him tell that to the next fool. I would not trust him one bit.
I think I would say, ‘I think we need to spend some time in prayer for discernment before going any futher.’ And start dating again including at some point go on a engagement retreat together (I think you can do this even if not formally engaged).
I would have to pray a lot; and take it very slowly
It’s a great question to ponder. Broken trust is hard to earn back, especially if it was more like a betrayal. I don’t think I wouldn’t be open to hearing him out but I would be very cautious about his understanding of Gods Will unless I had had that revelation too. I think it would also depend on how long and how well you had know him before. Long time friendship would lend itself to a better chance for reconciliation than someone you had simply dated and been engaged to.
I think I’d be skeptical. I would want to take it slow to see if he’d really changed and do lots of praying to see what God was telling me about it.
I would be shocked,pray about it and if I felt it was God’s plan say ok but we have to start over and take it slow.
IF I believed God brought us together, and I was committed but concerned that he was not, I would require extensive pre-marital counseling (maybe go through a 100? questions before marriage book that my daughter & her boyfriend are doing, a few q’s at a time, as they date).
Maybe even elope before the wedding to take some pressure off, depending on why he bolted.
First reaction: “Think again, buddy.” Initially I’d probably tell him that his phone line to God had connection issues, but I think the idea would start to plant itself in my brain. I’d definitely pray about it.
Run. Hard and fast in the opposite direction. The time to decide to break off an engagement is most certainly not at the altar, but before; way before, if possible. Before the money has been spent, of course; but most definitely before she is standing in the church in her beautiful dress, with her family and friends there.
Dude! Timing! And please, be on your knees listening to the Lord.
I would be open to considering it, especially since my late husband broke things off twice when we were dating in high school and we had 28 years together and 7 children before he passed away in 2021. No regrets!
Same! I’d listen and pray. And then journal about it so, so much.
Agree! He can sweep me off my feet even better this time, but things won’t be exactly the same…