18 years ago, I was a child bride.
My dad (bless his heart) walked me, a mere 18-year-old girl, down the aisle toward the man who had captured my heart from afar.
Yeah, we, uh, met on the Internet.
A Christian teen chatroom, to be specific. (he wasn’t a teen anymore. Not sure why he was there…)
He was in North Carolina.
Me? I lived in Northern Minnesota.
It was crazy. INSANE really. As my own daughter gets ready to turn 17 next year, I can’t even fathom her announcing to me that she wants to marry some dude she’s only met twice and who lives halfway across the US.
Like, seriously. I can’t even!
But we were crazy in love.
We were both aware that we had a lot of growing up still to do. We’d just decided that growing up together would be super amazing.
And as much as I’m ready to lock my child in the closet if she even thinks about pulling a similar stunt, I look back over the last 18 years and see very clearly that we have done just that.
There have been lows, for sure. Every marriage has them.
But from the get-go, we determined to ride those out together. So when money was tight and we weren’t sure how to pay the mortgage that month, we walked through it together in trust. When a car broke down and we weren’t sure how we were going to get to work the next day, we walked through it together. When my husband announced that he wanted to move to a strange city and go back to school, I gulped and gave up all the security of the familiar and supported him 100% (okay, maybe more like 98%… but I tried really hard!) And two years later when I told my husband, who had finished school, that I wanted to move closer to family, he gulped and said let’s go–together. When doctors told us our second baby had died in the womb, we held to each other and wept–together. And when other doctors told us our fifth baby would be born with a broken heart and might die, we held each other yet again and wept–then walked through a few very difficult years as we fought for our child’s life–together.
Are you seeing a theme?
Together. We’ve always faced life’s celebrations and challenges the same way: Side-by-side, hand in hand.
But most importantly, we faced them together with Jesus, trusting in Him every step of the way, even when we stumbled and fell flat on our faces. (We did that together too!!)
So today, in honor of all things romance and love and flowers and kisses and marriage and hugs and anniversaries and LOVE, I just wanted to say to my hubby via this blog (cause it IS all about romance, right?!?):
I love you, Jason Scott Phillips. Thank you so much for walking this journey with me. It’s been a wild ride, baby, but I can’t wait to see what the next 18 years will bring us!! (Uh, we’ll probably be GRANDPARENTS by then… how weird is THAT!?!)
Let’s chat: What are some things you’ve done TOGETHER with you and your significant other? OR — What are some sweet things you’ve seen a couple in a book do together that totally pulled on your heartstrings?
Thanks for the post! Yes, love and marriage is about doing life together. Together is such a simple small word that has so much meaning and impact.
I enjoyed your post. You were so young when you got married but I think you found one of the keys, doing things together. Too many couples don’t do things together.
Judy Burdett says
We have trusted God to get us to the Mission field with very little support. I think we were crazy at the time. But it was what it was. We have had a very troubled child that at times almost broke up our marriage as we had such different approaches to how to raise him. He is still troubled to this day. He is 35. We have been through several partners in our ministry that were like a divorce. We have grown together in our faith in God in all things, our house (on the mission field) fell over in a severe ground shift, but through all the ups and downs, we were committed to our marriage and to God. We have had many great things also. The birth of 4 children, seeing the Dom New Testament translated and in the hands of the Dom people of Papua New Guinea. We have been married 37 years. Not alot to do here together in the bush but you find ways to spend time together and forget about the stresses of the ministry.
Enjoyed your story.
Amy Petrowich says
My husband and I have been married for 32 years. Many of those years we worked in the same office. We share a passion for journalism and our family. Together is how we generally are. I have an in-home daycare now and he has an in-home office where he does news shows for radio and the internet. We share eight children and the hardest thing we ever did together was decide how to parent!! We did it though!!
As for book couples, I have two favorite authors who seem to understand how a Christian marriage should work.
I’ve so loved watching JoAnn Durgin portray Sam and Alexa Lewis as they have gone from strangers to a couple that’s been together for many years. They pray together and laugh together, most of all, they love together. Without any description of physical intimacy, you can read their attraction and how hard they work to keep their eyes, their hands and their hearts on each other and on God.
Leah Atwood is another one who really seems to understand what married couples should concentrate on. In her book Fire and Ice she writes an amazing relationship that includes an epilogue that takes place on Maeve and Sam’s 50th wedding anniversary and describes their yearly anniversary tradition. That couple faced crazy adversity and not just in their early days. They faced the hardships and pain together. That epilogue was pretty short in the grand scheme of things, but it’s one of my favorite chapters in all the books I’ve read. It’s truly the happy ending we all want.
Melanie D. Snitker says
What a great post!!! My husband and I weren’t as young (we were 22). But we met through e-mail and had seen each other in person three times before getting engaged and one more before he moved to my town where we got married. We’ve been married for 17 years and he’s my best friend. <3 Happy Anniversary to you and your husband, Krista!
My husband do almost everything together. From playing games to camping, watching TV, playing with the kids, or just hanging out.
We’ve been together for 37 years. We’ve moved recently to be closer to kids and grandkids. Grandparenting is great!
Lori Smanski says
What a wonderful post. Yes, I agree when we keep God in the center of our romance with our spouse, life is already handled. I have been married now for 34 years and we are going stronger now than before.
Valerie Comer says
Happy Anniversary, Krista and Scott!! TOGETHER is the best way to weather life’s storms, for sure.
Kimberly Rose Johnson says
Happy Anniversary! I loved reading about your love story. I was married at 19 and my husband was 21. We also walk through the good and the bad together. Eight months after we were married my husbands parents and grandparents were killed in a plane crash. As tragic and horrific as that was, it brought us closer together and set us up for a life long partnership as we navigate life both the good times and the bad.
Margaret Nelson says
Great post, and happy anniversary! My husband and I do just about everything together too – and will celebrate our 44th anniversary in December.
Krista Phillips says
Please note— I usually try to reply to comments but…. my hubby stayed home from work so we could have the day together—fitting right?!? I’ll check back in I can, but thank you all for your sweet words and stories!!
Jackie Smith says
Loved your post! Don’t worry about checking back in…..just enjoy your day with hubs!
Winnie Thomas says
Congratulations to you and your husband, Krista. Life is hard to weather, sometimes, but I think you hit on the answer–holding on together and trusting in God to see you through. My husband and I have been married 49 years. He’s my rock. Thanks for your inspirational post.
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! We will have been married for 41 years in December. We love to do things together and support each other. We teach Sunday School together. My hubby is handy with anything around the house, having built houses for years, so when he volunteers to help someone with carpentry work, his one stipulation is that we always go together. When it’s our turn to mow at the church, we both go and I pick up the trash & sticks so he doesn’t have to stop on the mower. I also do that at home. I hold the light, get the tools, and help brainstorm when we have to. He loves sports, so we watch them together or go to the games together. He even went with me down to Crave Him, although he didn’t actually attend the meeting. He did help others carry in/out their books. We are very thankful and blessed to be together.
My husband and I got married when I was almost 19 and he was not quite 18. We started having children in our early 20’s. We have been married 33 years, have 3 daughter’s and 7 grandchildren. The beginning of our marriage was shaky until we gave our lives to Christ. My oldest daughter lost a baby when she was 5 months pregnant. Her daughter, our oldest grandchild was diagnosed with leukemia 2 years ago. She just finished treatments. Praise the Lord. The great side of getting married early is now we are able to travel and have gone as far as Israel. We are looking forward to more adventures together.
Happy Anniversary Krista and Jason!! Here’s to another 18 and beyond!
I’ve been married 20yrs in April and we’ve done a lot together in those years and survived :-) But we’ve done them WITH each other and by each others side. I wouldn’t want to do this thing called life without my husband by my side. God has blessed our marriage in so many wonderful ways!
Gail Hollingsworth says
My husband and I have been married 36 years. We’ve been through a lot in those years. He supported me 110% when I was going through breast cancer. When I broke my leg, later had a knee replacement and my mother broke her ribs, he took care of both of us and our then three yr old grandson.
We moved my mom who previously lived two hours away into a retirement community 20 minutes away. My husband has been more than wonderful about the move and the time we now spend with her.