Does God love you?
We all know the correct answer to that, right? We can quote John 3:16, possibly in several translations and more than one language. “For God so loved the world.” We were taught—or at least I was—that we could substitute our own name in that verse. “For God so loved Valerie…”
I was raised in a conservatively Mennonite Christian home. I attended a Christian boarding school during my high school years. I memorized verses, attended Bible studies and Bible classes and took in more sermons than I could count. It’s hard to stump me with an old hymn; I can sing most of them by heart. Lack of head knowledge has never been my problem.
Did I believe God loved me? Absolutely. But that He loved me deeply as an individual has been a much harder truth for me to grasp. When I took a closer look at some of the lies I believe about myself, a recurring theme was that I am always on the outside, looking in.
Never the popular one. Never the star. Never the favorite. Never the best.
Of course, that’s inaccurate. It’s an extremely rare person who is always popular, always the best, always the most favored. We all have our moments in the spotlight and (many more moments) of ordinary.
My moments of most favored? Thirty-five years of marriage tells me I am Jim’s favorite wife. ;) I am well loved by my husband, my children, their spouses, and my grandgirls. And yet I struggle, and Satan likes it that way. He doesn’t want us to feel treasured by anyone… especially not by God.
The Comer Clan
October 2014
Warning: the topic is about to flip. You’ll see the connection in a minute!
I don’t plot out my novels in advance. God knows how hard I tried to do this for years, but it simply didn’t work well for me. So last February I started writing Plum Upside Down. It’s the fifth book in a series, and the heroine has poked into several of the earlier stories. She’s the sister of book 3’s heroine, so I had some family background. I hadn’t given a lot of thought to Chelsea’s personality when I tossed her into previous books. She was there to do a job in the scene, not be a star on her own.
Only, now it was her turn. I scanned through scenes she’d been in, and considered what little I knew of the hero, Keanan Welsh, who’d wandered onto Green Acres Farm unannounced late in the fourth book. Who were these people, deep inside? And, to make a solid plotline, how would their personalities and backgrounds clash?
I began to write and to explore. Chelsea’s family was wealthy. Maybe she’d gone to a private school? That would work. She’d been sheltered, but partly by her own choice. She’d started a business as an event coordinator, working from her suite in her parents’ basement. In an upscale big city church, she might know many people who could use her skills. She mightn’t need to venture outside all that much. In fact, moving from the safety of her family home to the safety of a Christian farm community might be a really natural move for someone content to stay unchallenged.
Off and running. Type, type… What next?
Keanan had already been established as an “out there” believer. So, for conflict, Chelsea would hold her faith privately. But what if her faith wasn’t deeply rooted. What if…?
What if she was going through the motions, someone who’d been a believer most of her life, but didn’t feel special to God? Didn’t feel individually and personally cherished?
Instead of it being a huzzah moment as a writer, I panicked. How could I walk this character through that valley when I still often skirted the edges of it myself? I stared at the dozen chapters already written and realized the story was irrevocably headed “there.”
Oh, the irony. Every day I ask God to guide the story, for my writing to be the story that would touch lives. Did I have a choice now? Sure I did. I could tell Him no… or I could walk through that valley one more time and take notes that would help Chelsea, my readers, and me to embrace God’s deep and personal love. This story turned my life topsy-turvy… and then, finally right-side up.
Plum Upside Down releases tomorrow, August 4. It has been through several beta readers, an editor, and a group of early reviewers. Here are some of the comments.
Beta Reader: “I enjoyed it, despite the crying. ;-) The part about God’s love—I so enjoyed that, probably mainly because I’m struggling with really understanding how He could love ME unconditionally.”
Early Reviewer: “I finished Plum Upside Down a few days ago, and I want to tell you how much it touched my heart, but I still can’t quite put it into words. I needed to hear the message of God’s personal love for me so much that I didn’t even know I needed it… This book reawakened me to the fact that I was so thirsty and then led me straight to the Water that I needed.”
Early Reviewer: “I just finished Plum – OH MY GOODNESS!!! Loved it! I really learned a lot about myself reading that book. Perfect book at the perfect timing!”
Want to read Plum Upside Down? (psst, the special pre-order price of 99¢ ends on release day tomorrow!) It’s the fifth book in my Farm Fresh Romance series, but it works as a standalone. It’s available at all major e-bookstores.
Let’s talk about feeling that assurance that God loves each of us personally. I’d love to gift one commenter with an e-book copy of Plum Upside Down. The winner will be announced in the next Sunday Edition.
(This is a long weekend in Canada and I’m off camping with my family, so I won’t be replying to comments until I’m home later in today. Feel free to chat amongst yourselves until I get back!)
Valerie Comer is a USA Today bestselling author and a two-time Word Award winner who writes where food meets faith and fiction. She injects experience laced with humor into her green clean romances. Her life on a small farm in western Canada provides the seed for stories of contemporary inspirational romance. Like many of her characters, Valerie and her family grow much of their own food and are active in the local foods movement as well as their church. She only hopes her creations enjoy their happily-ever-afters as much as she does hers, shared with her husband, adult kids, and adorable granddaughters.
So excited to read more farm fresh!
Love this series and can’t wait to read this one! :)
What wonderful endorsements of your book! It’s interesting to me how we have the head knowledge that God loves us, but we often need to be reminded. Congratulations on your new release! I hope you had a wonderful time camping.
Oh, Valerie! This was so good! Can I relate, or what?
I don’t know if it’s being a woman or just human nature, but I think we can all relate to those feelings you described. And when we step back and get unbiased for a few sometimes, those feelings can honestly be absurd and ridiculous. But it doesn’t change the insecurity we all struggle through.
You’ve hooked me here. Going to have to pick this one up and read it.
As for writing about what you’re struggling with… I’m kinda there right now too. And, yes, it’s hard! Could be why this book is taking me so long.
I’ve had a lot of thinking time lately, while I’m packing and cleaning in preparation for a move. And I’ve been thinking a lot about a lifelong feeling that I ‘don’t fit in’. Maybe that’s a good thing, I often try to tell myself. Recently, I’ve listened (really listened!) to other women saying they don’t feel as if they fit in either. Is this how all women feel? Even the ones who are at the top of the popularity chart? Some women appear and sound so confident, but that doesn’t mean they feel accepted and/or … loved – by people or God. I already went to Amazon and pre-ordered Plum. Soon as we’re settled (I’m sure it will still be 2015) I’ve got a nice list of TBRs, acquired from reading these blog posts. This one goes straight to the top!
Awww! Valerie, such a sweet, true, and very needed post. It sounds like a wonderful book. And I love that family picture. <3
God's love is just so big and so deep and so wide it's difficult for us to believe, I think. Even if we grow up in a good loving family, there are always those little niggly spots the enemy can find to needle us. And if we grew up in a family that struggled to love….
It's a theme that comes out often in my own stories too. I always make my characters learn what I know I most need to learn. It does seem to work :)
“God’s love is just so big and so deep and so wide it’s difficult for us to believe, I think.” Yes, Autumn! So true. We are so sinful and messed-up in our thinking that it’s hard to comprehend God’s perfect love.
Great post Valerie. Sometimes it’s hard to see ourselves as special to God in the scheme of things. After all, how could he care for so many of us, so profoundly in such huge numbers? I struggled with that issue when my mother died and I was very angry for a long time. It felt like God didn’t favor me or my prayers. Time showed me that God’s love is immense and that not all prayers are answered. He is always there, loving and listening. Thanks for the reminder.
For us pantser, God’s guidance is essential in writing the story. Sometimes, I look back and wonder at how God knew what was coming, and I didn’t.
Great blog! Love the picture of the Comer clan.
What a concept! Can’t wait to read this!!!! Thanx fo the giveaway!
Thank you so much, Beth!
Thank you, Heather!
Thank you, Kimberly! Isn’t it crazy how we have head knowledge that doesn’t deeply impact our lives sometimes? We had a great time. Home half an hour ago :)
Thanks, Sally. I think the stories that we struggle to tell because of being in the midst of them can be the strongest. It’s so easy (for me) to think I’m the only one who struggles in a specific way and I’m revealing a personal weakness by putting it in a book. I think Satan likes that, too – to make us feel we’re the only one who ever had this struggle, and a “good Christian” wouldn’t ever face it! But more is universal than we sometimes think.
Thank you, Diane. And big BIG hugs. I think it is far more universal than we like to think, and not just women but men too. When we feel separated out and that no one else understands us, Satan has us whupped. I think the (but have no proof LOL) that the popular ones feel it, too—that they have to pretend to have it together. It’s hard to allow vulnerability.
My grandgirls have grown so much since October, but that’s the last “clan” photo I have. But yes, I love it, too!
Do you plan those lessons for your characters? I would like to avoid them for “safer” writing, but the no-plotting thing foils me. And then there’s asking God to guide the stories. So whether I try to give my characters my problems or not, they seem to happen!
Thanks, Belle, and (((hugs))) re your mom. It sounds like God is allowing you to learn some of the same lessons He’s been giving me. :)
You’re so right on that guidance, Merrillee! He knows in our lives, and in what he wants in our stories. I’ve recognized my fiction as a ministry a long time ago, though it sometimes still feels strange…
Thanks, Lee! I’m kinda fond of this group of people myself :)
Thank you Jennifer :) Glad to have you here.
This is a lesson I am STILL learning, Valerie! How can a Holy God love a sinner such as me? But He does, unconditionally, without measure, and in a deeply personal way. I don’t have to fully understand it all, I just have to rest in His love. I still have my moment of doubts & uncertainty, of questioning how can He love ME? I think somewhere inside, I always will. But I no longer let Satan win in this area….I tell him I’M a child of the King and nothing I do or say will EVER change that :-)
Beautiful family picture, what a treasure they must be for you! I hope you get to enjoy spending time with them often :-)
Your book sounds amazing! I love stories that bring us closer to God in some way. Seeing characters who struggle in ways we do but yet rely on Him to get them through, encourages me to go on and fight the good fight of faith! And seeing your authors heart reflect in them is simply wonderful. Here’s to new lessons learned and old ones re-enforced….God loves YOU & ME!!
Amen to your comment, Trixi! “Here’s to new lessons learned and old ones re-enforced….God loves YOU & ME!!”
Valerie, lovely post :) Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
You’ve pulled me into the story and I have to know how it turns out. (Although I know they find true love and God’s love, I have to know HOW.) Thank you for a great post.
Thanks, Narelle.
The “how” was organic to the story. I’m so thankful for the ways God showed me His love… WHILE I was writing! I hope you enjoy Plum.